Choose you
by FullyMessy
Summary: The sparking of an irresistible attraction between Daryl and Carol upends both of their lives. As their bond grows, the unlikely couple must decide how far they're willing to go and what decisions they are willing to make, in order to keep their newly formed family safe. (Caryl Fic / season 1 to 4ish)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** A rewrite of Daryl and Carol's relationship - taking off in season 1 – following through to season 4ish / inspired by **Afraid of Everyone** by **The National**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

The scenery surrounding the brothers may have changed, but the stories leaving Merle Dixon's mouth were the same stories that Daryl had been listening to for years. To Daryl, the stories were like old songs. He'd heard them so many times, that he could now sing along to them in his head.

He took each agonizing step, knowing he had nothing better to do but grunt and nod his head, deciding that it was easier to just agree with every stupid and pointless thing his big brother had to say.

Merle was high, as usual. And as usual Daryl had to drag him to the cover of the woods, in hopes of hiding his brother's addiction from the rest of the group.

He quietly feared that they would see the Dixon brothers for the flight risk that he knew they were. Surely then they would be asked to leave.

Right now he was just happy that these people didn't know exactly how much of risk the Dixon brothers were to them.

It had taken him weeks to convince Merle not to rob the group while they slept and run off with everything they needed to endure this new and harsh reality.

He'd argued that they wouldn't make it alone and there was simply nowhere else to go. Though his reasoning was logical, is was not accepted warmly by his older brother. If anything, it seemed to cause a resentment that Daryl was forced to endure.

Now all he could think was that these long tedious hours alone in the wilderness was Merle's way of making him pay for forcing them to stay.

Daryl had spent all day alone with him in his brothers intoxicated state, wandering around through the woods and listening to the mind-numbing tales, while accepting every insult that Merle thought to throw at him.

Merle walked ahead of him, complaining about some junkie they both used to know. A man who was more than likely dead long before the outbreak.

He had robbed Merle years ago, when Merle had been stupid enough to get black-out drunk around him.

Every so often when Merle was high and talking crap, he would bring it up. Daryl had heard the same story more times than he could count. He always wondered what Merle had expected from him, especially when the man had openly admitted to stealing from his own mother.

Daryl had met the man a few times, but couldn't imagine turning his back on him. Let alone allowing himself to become so intoxicated that he would leave a window open for the addict to take advantage of him.

As far as Daryl was concerned, Merle had no one else to blame but himself. But he was determined to keep Merle in a good mood and avoid any arguments. So rather then voice his opinions, he nodded, mumbling every so often about what an ungrateful asshole the man was.

Merle didn't even seem to notice that the same thing he was mad at the Junkie for, was the same thing he'd been planning to pull on the group. People who were stupid enough to fall asleep around him. But he didn't point that out to Merle either.

There was a trail that the group used to make their way from the water to the campsite, but the brothers never used it. Not seeing the point when it just added to the time it took to get them back to their tent.

Instead they walked through the cover of the trees, heading in the direction of the camp.

That was when he saw her.

He pretended to listen to Merle as he watched Carol stagger up the path alone. She got closer to them and he watched her, puzzled as to what hell she was doing. Wondering what she was thinking being out there alone, especially when she wasn't even paying enough attention to notice her surroundings.

Merle wasn't particularly loud, but he wasn't exactly hard to hear either. He wandered along slowly, watching her. He realized as she got closer that her eyes were red and she was lightly rubbing her right wrist with her left hand.

He found himself feeling rude for starring and decided to return to his brother's side. He had only taken a few steps when he heard a thud and a surprised gasp, but then there was nothing but silence.

He turned scanning the area for her, but she was just gone. Just like that. No screaming. Nothing. As if she had vanished into thin air. Panic and concern quickly built in his gut and his feet started moving quickly, slamming into the ground as he headed towards the path.

As his feet hit the smooth trail he looked around hysterically. He was ready to call out to her when he heard a noise from the ground. That was where he found her, face down in the dirt.

He let out a heavy sigh of his relief and shook his head as he took in the sight and relaxed.

He watched as Carols head tuned to see his black tattered boots approaching her. He watched as she somehow recognized them, seeing the relief wash over her face. Without much thought he reached down and tightened his hands around her waist and lifted her back to her feet, mostly out of frustration, more then simply wanting to help her up.

He instantly wanted to ask the women what the hell she was thinking, being out here alone. He wanted to tell her she was being stupid and she was going to get herself killed. But as he watched her wipe the dirt from her pants, he instantly found himself feeling like a prick for thinking those things.

She obviously had enough people yelling at her with out him adding to it. And who was he to give her a hard time? He'd been ignoring her for weeks. He'd even seen her eyes glassy like this before, knowing she was hurt. But he still hadn't spoken to her, he hadn't even seen fit to ask her if she was ok. So now didn't really seem like the right time to take an interest in her safety.

Carol whispered a quiet thank you while wiping the dirt from her pants. When she did finally look up to meet his gaze she took in the soft expression he had, leaving her to stunned to say anything else.

He looked her up and down, examining her as he opened his mouth to respond. He wanted to tell her not to worry about it. He wanted to offer to walk her back to camp. But before he could utter a single word, he was abruptly cut off.

"Daryl?"

He watched as Carols eyes darted over to Merle, who stood a few feet away from the trail.

Carol looked right at Merle but didn't receive any recognition. His eyes were fixed on the back of Daryl's head and he knew it. He could feel them burning into him.

* * *

Carol watched as Merle's face twisted into an expression that she couldn't decipher, annoyed maybe? Possibly frustrated, or even disappointed, though none of them made any sense.

She looked back over in time to see Daryl's eyes drop from hers, as his soft expression dissolved. His face quickly molded back into the hardened one she was accustomed to seeing every afternoon, when he sat next to her and helped her with dinner.

He turned away from her, leaving the trail without a word or a second glance.

She watched as he walked straight by Merle, keeping his head down as he passed by him quickly, as if nothing had happened.

Merle fell into step behind Daryl, his gaze was still firmly locked on him. There was a strong look of confusion and distaste, though Merle quickly wiped his face clear and followed his brother's lead, dropping his head down and disappearing out of her sight.

She stood there a few seconds longer, trying to understand the soft expression on Daryl's face and wondering what he would have said if they weren't interrupted, until she suddenly remembered why she was out there to begin with.

The anxiety she'd felt, before falling face first in the dirt, quickly returned when she felt the throbbing in her arm. She hurried up the path to where she had left Ed's coat to dry. She had hung it with everyone else's laundry after cleaning it at the quarry, now she began quietly cursing herself for leaving up there to begin with.

She had found Ed going through his bag like a mad man looking for it, until she reluctantly told him where it was. He'd growled insults through his teeth, trying to be as quiet as he could, until he couldn't contain his anger anymore. In the same moment that he lost control of his temper, he'd reached out to her and squeezed her arm tightly in his hand. He had squeezed it so hard that she was sure he was going to rip it from the socket.

When she left to retrieve his jacket she had been so upset that she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. The tears had filled her eyes and she wiped them harshly, that was when the stupid accident had taken place. She hadn't noticed the Dixon brothers in the woods along side her and she didn't notice the the branch that she tripped over.

* * *

Merle quickly dropped onto a foldout chair, ready to relax. But Daryl couldn't bring himself to join his brother. He had dropped his bag, crossbow and sting of squirrels alongside Merle's but now he was stuck staring at the pile.

He couldn't help but scan the areas as he'd piled his things on to the ground by the burnt-out fire. He noticed that the whole group was at the camp site, meaning Carol was at the waterhole alone. And most likely unarmed.

He knew that if he went back now, it would only make it worse when Merle finally brought up what happened on the trail. But he also couldn't stop thinking about how miserable she looked, how she was obviously too upset to notice a single thing that was going on.

Daryl and Merle's tent was away from the rest of the groups, the only one that was even close to them was the Peletier families tent. Merle's big mouth, drug habits and the simple fact that he just didn't play well with others, was Daryl's reason for distancing himself from everyone else. After the first week Daryl realized the reason Ed had set up so far away, was because he didn't play nice with anyone, including his own family.

Merle was unpacking a few things from his bag, looking for his pack of smokes, when Daryl finally shook his head to himself and jumped to his feet.

Merle's head snapped up, watching him walk back of into the woods with his crossbow in hand.

"Where ya goin?" Merle barked out.

"Takin' a piss" he snapped back as he walked off, assuring he moved to fast for any more questions to be asked.

He could feel Merle's eyes on him as he headed back into the woods, but decided that his brother giving him shit was a hell of a lot easier than hearing Carol's screams when a Walker made a meal out of her.

He often overheard Lori talking to Shane and Jacqui, saying something had to be done about Ed.

Shane argued that there was a chance their involvement could make everything much worse. If they approached Ed and made demands, there was a chance that Ed could just pack the three of them up and leave. Daryl didn't know if it was true or not. What he did know, was that he'd heard Ed complaining about how their personal stash was almost gone. Daryl had even found a way to bring it up in a conversation with Shane. He was a cop, he had to be able to fill in the gaps.

He knew Ed hated the way they ordered him around. Not that Ed did much of anything other then walking around the campsite like he was some kind of god.

Sometimes Ed went on the occasional supply run or was asked to help around the camp. He was never asked to do very much, but when anything was requested of him it was more then obvious that he thought he was above the mundane chores.

Daryl knew men like Ed, he had been raised by one. And he knew enough to know that Ed wouldn't lower himself to do what was asked of him, unless he knew that he needed the group to survive.

_So why then?_

_What the hell was Shane waiting for?_

The thought was constant and frustrating.

It seemed sometimes like they still living in the old world, a world where men like Ed had rights?

When the world went to shit, in a lot of ways it felt like they had left everything behind them. There were no more creature comforts or safe havens. Everything that they once relied on, simply ceased to exist.

But for some reason they were clinging to the idea that the what happened between a man and his wife was no ones business, even if it meant that the wife may not survive much longer.

Carol often didn't seem like she was even considered a member of the group. No matter how much she contributed, it still seemed like she was nothing but an extension of Ed. Nothing but his property. That was how Ed seen her and it seemed like very few people disagreed with that theory.

He picked up his pace and ignoring the hundreds of questions he had for Shane, Carol… and well- just all of them.

He reached the end of the long trail just as Carol was returning to it. He thought about calling out to her or just wandering along beside her. But he was worried what trouble that might cause.

He stayed in the woods, walking back to the camp, alongside her, but without her knowing.

He kept his guard up. Gripping his crossbow tightly. Watching all the things that she wasn't paying mind to. Occasionally rolling his eyes at her when she picked at the loose threads on her husband's jacket.

He stuck with her as she returned to the safety of the camp, then watched her greet Lori before he turned back to the woods, walking slowly until he reached his tent.

He stumbled back to the campsite casually, watching as his brother went from looking at him, to eyeing carol's return. Merle then darted his eyes back at him. He raised his brow and smirked.

Just as Daryl thought before he left, nothing would go unnoticed by Merle.

"Boy, ya' barkin' up the wrong god-damn-tree."

* * *

Carol made sure not to take notice of the Dixon brothers as she passed. She knew Ed was close by watching her out of the corner of his eye, while he spoke to Jim. She didn't want to upset him anymore than she had by stepping off the fine line he'd set for her.

Though she kept her head fixed in the direction of the tent, she'd noticed Daryl, watching her as she walked by. She had seen him doing it a great deal. He always stole glances at her, especially when he was skinning whatever he had caught during his hunting trips.  
She knew he only watched her because she was the one who was going to cook the meal, so he kept an eye on her, waiting to see if she was ready to start their daily ritual.

She quickly picked up the clothes Ed had scattered through the tent during his earlier tantrum and left his coat folded neatly on his bag. She gave herself a few seconds to take a deep breath after she completed the task, bracing herself before she had to go out and face everyone again.

She plastered a content smile on her face, in order to draw less attention to herself. If she pretended she was fine then no one would think to talk to her and if no one talked to her then she wouldn't be interrogated later when Ed demanded to know what she had been asked and what she had told them.

She walked out of her tent and passed Daryl, he didn't look in her direction, he just waited for her to pass him, before standing to his feet to follow her slowly a few steps behind.

Carol watched Lori as she leaned over Sophia, pointing to a page in a book, explaining something to Sophia. Lori didn't often help with the cooking, but if she did, it wasn't until all the messy work was out of the way. She complained the smell and sight of blood was too much for her. She said watching Daryl rip the animals to pieces was to much for her.

The first time Daryl cut open a deer in front of Lori, she'd covered her mouth and ran off. Carol stood close by Daryl barely flinching at the gory sight.

Ed had been hunting since they met and the sight didn't faze her any more. Though she had never seen Ed return from those hunting trips with the bounty that Daryl always seemed to come back with.

That day when Daryl had roughly cut into the deer, Lori had let out a loud groan as she ran away, while Carol remained at Daryl's side. She told Lori she could come along later when it was done, assuring her that she could manage on her own. Lori had turned to face her again, ready to reply, when Daryl's hand suddenly ripped out a hand full of guts from the animal, causing Lori to suddenly wave her hand at Carol as she fled.

She'd watched Lori stumbled of towards the kids, both worried and amused with Lori's reaction. It wasn't until she heard the low muffle of Daryl Dixon laughing that all thoughts of Lori evaporated. He'd had his back to her and his head hanging down while he worked, there was no way to catch even a glimpse of his face and she had always regretted not seeing him when the chuckle emerged.

The cold expression seemed to be set in stone from there on after, just as it had been before.

Every day the same bleak frown was in place and it left her wishing that she had been able to see him smile that day.

* * *

Daryl noticed that every afternoon without fail, Ed would have already positioned himself so that he could keep an eye on Carol.

He hated being in direct view of the man, but on the rare occasion that Ed was off doing chores it was almost worse. Carol would always take advantage of the situation and try to start a conversation or make a joke. Daryl forced himself to ignore her, never letting out more than a grunt in response, always making sure he looked as uninterested as possible.

He was convinced that Ed would return when they were talking or when he wasn't looking. He knew Ed was easily angered and that there was a possibility that he would hurt Carol if she did something he didn't like.

If Ed did hurt Carol because of something he did, then he would have to live with knowing that it could have been avoided, if he'd just avoided her.

He sat by her feet, as usual, skinning the animals and passing her the pieces of meat as he cut them free.

He tried to keep his head down and ignore her, but when he glanced in Ed's direction he noticed that he and Jim had their back to them, strolling slowly through the camp, seemingly deep in conversation.

He took the opportunity to look up at her for the first time since they started getting dinner ready. She looked completely different to the women he saw in the dirt, less than half an hour ago. She was calm and fixated on her task, though he was sure it was all a facade.

He followed her gaze to Ed and then looked back to her. He watched her shake her head to herself and look back to the table.

He dropped his head when he realized that her arm was most likely still sore. She tried to stay composed, but he had sat next to her every day and she had always moved much faster than she was. He had done this with her long enough to know that she was struggling to push the blade through the tough raw meat.

Usually she was waiting on him, dicing each piece perfectly, so quick that he never even bothered trying to keep up with her.

But today the meat was piled up besides the chopping bored.

He thought about leaving, but Lori didn't look like she was in any rush to get over here and help. It was just a stew of veggies and meat, so he doubted she was intending to help Carol at all.

He stood to his feet and wiped his hands on his pants. He had to go he decided. She was fine, she was alive, and she was just chopping some damn meat.

He looked around, ready to leave in silence as usual, when he noticed that Ed was out of sight and no one seemed to be even looking in their direction.

He looked over at how Carol's body was tense as she forced the knife through the meat, slowly and roughly.

He had helped her cook before, he thought to himself, over and over again like a chant.

He sighed heavily, but it erupted much more like a growl. He couldn't help but be annoyed with himself as he made his way to her side.

* * *

She noticed him approaching her and she had seen him staring at her while she chopped the meat. She was going to slow, she thought. She was slowing up dinner and he was no doubt hungry after spending his whole day hunting.

She was sure he was annoyed until she saw his face. The soft concerned expression that he gave her on the trail had returned and it had left her just as stunned as it had then.

He moved closer to her than he ever had before. His side pressed to hers.

It all happened in a few seconds.

His rough hand closed lightly over hers. She froze watching his hand slide the knife from hers as his body lightly pushed her aside, so he could take her place.

He nodded in direction of the assorted cans at the other end of the table. She stood stunned for a second, but noticed him looking around them too see who was watching.

She took the few steps to the end of the table and began opening the cans of vegetable and bags of rice. She seemed unable to stop herself from looking at him, catching him doing the same, before his eyes darted back down to the meat that he was slicing quickly.

She realized he must have known she was hurt, the only other times he had helped at the table was when there was too much to be done. Both Lori and Jacqui were sick the last time she remembered him standing next to her, but they were both so busy they barley acknowledged each other presence.

The Dixon brothers were the only ones even remotely close to their tent and she couldn't help but get embarrassed thinking about what they may have overheard. Chances were he had heard enough to know much more then anyone else in their small group.

He sat the knife down and slid the cutting board towards her with the meat on it ready to be cooked. She looked up at him trying to force a smile. No matter what he had heard or seen, he was trying to be nice. The edge of his lip curved in response, trying his best to be polite. But beyond the faint grin she could see that the rest of his face held nothing but concern. He took two steps back, holding eye contact with her for just a few seconds longer, before he turned around left.

At first she thought his concern came out of nowhere. She finished getting ready and thought about how his eyes would often snap up when ever they were alone, constantly scanning the camp. She thought it was because he was uncomfortable or he was just keeping an eye out for walkers, but now she wondered if he was just waiting on Ed's arrival, just like she was. She sighed shaking her head to herself as she stirred the rice, realizing that Daryl had most likely been avoiding her for her own sake.

* * *

Throughout the following week he quietly took a clean chopping board from the table, and worked on helping her as much as he could without drawing any attention to them.

He sat down at her feet as usual, but only ever passed her the smaller pieces of meat.

Carol had watched him placing the bigger pieces on the spare board but never questioned him.

He knew she could feel his eyes on her face as she cut the small pieces, examining her reaction to making use of her sore wrist. Each day he would put the chopping board of meat on his lap, and quickly chop the larger and thicker pieces himself and he decided he would continue on with helping her until he was sure that she was able to do the work alone. He would help Carol and avoid feeling like an asshole. Just for a few days.

No one seemed to notice the small change in the routine. No one noticed that every now and then she would quietly make a joke, or smart-ass comment to him. It was obvious to him that she was taking every chance she could get to make him laugh, but he didn't really know why.

He wanted to ignore her as usual, not wanting to encourage her by letting her know he thought she was funny. He knew Carol had watched his eyes drift off, always glancing in Ed's direction, instantly nervous that he had seen her talking to him. But after a few days he realized it was something she had already checked. Because when he looked up he only ever seen the back of Ed's head.

So eventually he relaxed. She had been around Ed long enough to know what she was doing, he thought. So, he gave in. He started looking at her when she spoke to him, or quietly laughing at her jokes, so softly that no one else could hear.

The truth was that he was tired of ignoring her and feeling like an ass. He liked her. And the more she talked to him, the more he liked her. But it only made it harder not to talk back, harder not to try and make her laugh too.

He found himself watching her more than he was before. Something he didn't think was possible. There was so much wasted energy in ignoring her, rejecting any interaction, of knowing he was just another mean prick in her life, when he wanted to be anything but. All of it was just exhausting.

* * *

He finished slicing the meat and watched Ed, who was pulling the drums of water off the back of the truck with Shane and T-dog, almost out of their view.

It had been over a week since Ed had hurt her arm and maybe if he had have kept ignoring her he wouldn't have he noticed her latest injury.

His blood had boiled when he noticed the marks on her neck. She had attempted to rub it in hopes to sooth it, without drawing attention to herself. But he had seen the angry bruise. He wanted to beat the crap out of Ed, end all the shit right there and then. But he didn't.

He didn't do anything. And that fact gnawed at him as he sat beside the table where she worked.

He was just like everyone else. Ignoring it. Acting like the ring on her finger meant Ed had rights over her life.

He hated himself for it. He dreaded the idea that Carol thought of him like the rest of the group, that she was nothing more than someone's property. That she thought that he was brushing the whole thing off. Just ignoring everything until something happened her. And he knew it would.

Fuck it, he thought.

He got to his feet, the tray of meat in his hands. She turned her head slightly as he slid the board along the table in front of her, getting much closer than needed. He watched her as he moved closer to her side, his arm barely touching hers, but it was enough to make his breathing grow heavier, cause his heart pound and his fingers fidget at his sides.

He waited for her to pull away from him, because he couldn't bring himself too. He watched as a hint of a smile appeared, watched as she lightly moved into him so that his arm was completely pressed into her. Her eyes were still fixed on the knife as it moved and he knew he didn't have time to find the right words before Ed was watching her again. He knew he just had to come out with it.

"You alright Carol?" her eyes snapped up to his, taking in his exposed and troubled expression. His brittle husky voice shattered the silence they had been in and it made her heart stop for a moment as she tried to compose herself.

"I'm fine" she said so confidently he almost believed her.

He raised his eyebrow at the programmed response and quickly glanced at her wrist and drifted to her neck, his eyes filled with concern as they met hers again.

"I will be fine" she said correcting herself.

"It's nothing. Really", she added with a forceful edge.

Carol had spoken so assuredly that she obviously didn't understand why he flinched at the sound of the words leaving her mouth.

She watched as Daryl nodded his head lightly to himself, as if he had just realised something or decided on an option.

They both stood still in silence for a moment longer, before Carol forced a soft smiled at him, dropping her head back down to the meat, wondering if he was focused on his arm touching hers as she was.

He knew he had to leave, he'd been standing there for way too long, but she felt so soft and warm next to him that he couldn't just walk away. The need to be different than everyone else, for her to know he was different, was foreign, overwhelming and inescapable.

"Carol", he barely whispered keeping his voice controlled, though it had a dark edge to it that even he hadn't expected. She hummed in response but kept her head down and continued chopping the last of the meat up. His tone was quite obviously making her nervous, but she stayed composed as always and waited for him to continue.

He didn't think about it, he just let hand rise from his side to touch hers, his silent request for her to stop worrying about the meat. It was just a second but the contact halted her instantly.

"If you ever need me to do anything for ya, just let me know " he whispered as the comforting pressure of his body left hers.

He stepped back, examining her reaction. She looked puzzled as she processed the offer, her head suddenly snapped up, watching as he slowly backed away.

"Anything at all" he added raising his brow, and eyeing her knowingly while she continued to gape at him. His calm words had a held a sinister vibe, that he couldn't contain and she couldn't ignore.

She knew he wasn't offering to help with dinner or get her some firewood. She knew without a doubt that he had just offered to do something about her husband. Whatever that may be.

* * *

Weeks had passed by and for the most part everything had been going smoothly. That was until the group returned from a run without Merle. She could almost feel the change in the air. She had watched Daryl carefully when he'd left to go after his brother, and his gaze had found her. There was a slight nod exchanged between them, before he left, but that had been it.

And now they were back.

She watched as Daryl slammed the door to the truck, so harshly the sound made her flinch. They had all returned home safely. But no Merle.

She couldn't take her sights of his bloodshot eyes and pale complexion as he stormed through the camp. His head hung, but his shoulders were tensed. She knew he was trying to hold himself together as he past everyone, she knew he could see people openly greeting the returning members, while guarding him as though he was dangerous. Though Daryl had never done a single thing to earn their fear of him. He'd had, what the group described as a violent outburst, when he had found out what had happened to Merle. But she wouldn't have expected anything less. People don't usually react well when they find out their brother was handcuffed to a rooftop and left to die.

She had seen it as less of a violent outburst and more of an emotional breakdown.

She had been out there, she had seen what the world had become. They all had been out there. Though she had hoped for Merle to return safely, if only for Daryl's sake, she knew the chances were very low.

Everyone's watched him disappear into the tent, as if he were a volcano about to erupt. Her heart sank as he turned for a second to see them all just looking at him. Doing nothing but examining him as though he was some kind of monster.

She wanted to run over to him and ask him if he was ok. She wanted to offer some kind of comfort and ask if there was anything she could do for him. She had even forgotten where she was long enough to take a step in his direction, before remembering her husband was standing next to her.

She didn't wonder for a second longer why he had stopped on the path to help her that day. She knew for certain now. She was his friend and he was hers. He just knew it before she did.

Other than Lori, Ed and Sophia, he was the only person she spent her time with. But it had only just occurred to her, as he walked off alone, that other than Merle, she was the only one he spent any time with. Without Merle, Daryl would think he was alone.

She needed to fix that.

* * *

Now what? What the fuck do I do now? the thought repeated over and over in his head, as he stared at the fabric on Merle's empty sleeping bag, that lay flat and cold beside him.

He replaced the safety of his big brother's presence with his weapons, laying them out on the shiny green material so he could get to them all at a second's notice. He laid unmoving, staring at them until it got so dark he couldn't see anything.

He thought he might vomit when he found Merle's severed hand, but it was not nearly as bad as what followed. They had walked all through the city with no sign of Merle, they'd found Glen and returned to find the truck was gone. Merle had obviously taken it, that's when the familiar pain began to emerge.

He didn't like it, but he found himself conflicted on the way home. A part of him wanted to get back to the camp and find a war zone that his brother had created, at least it would mean that he hadn't just left him again. But there was nothing.

Where the hell is the jackass?

Even the thought was familiar and he realised it as soon as the words ran though his mind.

He'd been here before.

The fact that he was alone was proved even further when he saw the way the group looked at him. Watching him like he was a Walker, like they were afraid of him.

What the hell did they think I was gonna do?

The thought made him realise they didn't know him, none of them did, the only person who did had fucked of. Again.

He laid on his side, his arms wound around his stomach as they always did when he attempted to relax. As usual he couldn't bring himself to stop his arms from flexing and tensing up.

It was the lack of the weight in his hands that always sent his body into a panic. The heavy crossbow meant he was on guard and protected, that he was safe. He noticed time and time again how powerless and exposed he felt every time the weapon left his firm grip, especially when he had to put it down to go to asleep.

It had been this way long before Merle disappeared and long before the outbreak.

Tonight was no different, not when it came to the bows position. He always had it pressing into his body, never out of reach. But it didn't help relax him. He always woke with his strained arms, that were wound tightly around him like a protective shield.

But at least he slept, even if it was only for a few hours at a time.

If he had Merle next to him he could eventually bring himself to close his eyes, even if it was just from exhaustion.

At least before his arms were tangled around his body because he felt vulnerable. Now he clutched his arms as tight as he could, because he felt physically sick.

He laid there alone.

Trying to steady his breathing, trying not to be afraid. But it didn't matter what he did, the revolting swarm of knots that had formed, tightened with each hour that passed. Agonizingly hardening in his gut until they were solid again, set back into their old uncomfortable position. They returned to his middle and spread through his chest with a vengeance, as if they had never left.

Bringing with them the unbearable and familiar feeling of abandonment, a feeling he had spent most of his life with. That feeling twisted into the knots like old roots that had just been waiting to resurface. Making the knots stronger. Making him weaker. Making sure he knew, he was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I thought it would best to add a trigger warning: (I should have put it in the first chapter)  
This story makes mention of child abuse, domestic violence and drug use (Though nothing is to graphic).  
I also want to add that this story, at times, has a very strong focus on Daryl bonding with Sophia. If that's not something your interested in reading then you may want to stop now.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Carol looked down at Sophia.

Her daughter had been sitting on the ground by her feet, scanning the camp as she had a tendency to do.

Sophia hadn't spoken while Carol cleaned dishes from their last meal, preparing them for the next, she stayed as quiet as she always did.

Sophia would answer questions if someone asked them, she would engage in conversations is she was invited to, but Sophia was never one to ask questions or start a conversations herself. To many times she had been told to be quiet or told her questions were stupid, so eventually she stopped voicing them. Carol had tried to repair the damage done by Ed, but eventually it had stuck and Sophia had changed to suit what her father saw as acceptable behaviour.

She tried to stay focused on her task and ignore how Sophia picked nervously at the loose threads, plucking away at the knee of her pants with her tiny fingers, while looking around in a horrified daze.

Sophia was always waiting for a _monster_ to come. Whether they be in the form of a walker, or the man who called himself her father.

Sophia was an anxious mess long before the outbreak, but now she had gotten to a point where she never left her agitated state. She couldn't help herself but let the stress of the situation consume her and her fingers seemed to react by picking at threads until there were holes in the knee of her pants. Something Sophia had been doing since she was old enough to work her fingers.

She always cringed when Ed ranted at Sophia for pulling at the threads, for picking away at the fabric until her pants were ruined. But it didn't matter how upset Ed made Sophia, she never stopped for long.

The nervous twitch had taken on a life of its own and Carol had no idea how to ease her stress, especially when it was always going to be a part of their lives. It was unavoidable.

Sophia wasn't a baby anymore, she couldn't be lied to with fantasies of a better world, a world where she would be safe and away from the monsters. This was how things were and maybe it was better that Sophia always had her guard up.

The camping area quickly grew quiet as everyone scattered back to their chores or down to the rock quarry.

Carol noticed Sophia looking over her shoulder towards their campsite. She followed her daughters gaze, expecting to see Ed, who had wondered off with Jim some time ago, but that wasn't what had caught Sophia's eye.

She let out a sigh of relief when she noticed Daryl stumble out of his tent, his crossbow in one hand, his bag and old boots in the other.  
No one had seen him in almost two days, but their tents were close enough that she could hear him move around the site at night.

He looked pale, even with the dirt that covered him from head to toe, making her concern for him grow even more.

She watched him place his crossbow down and drop everything else by the two foldout chairs. It took seconds for her stomach tighten when she realised his intentions.

She wondered what he was thinking. He shouldn't be going out there when he obviously hadn't slept, but then she decided that he most likely just wanted to be alone.

She wanted to make sure he had at least eaten, because she wasn't sure if he had since his return. He had skipped taking meals with the group and hadn't spoken a word to anyone. She wasn't sure if she had heard him moving around at night because he was going hunting for himself, or if he was just stretching his legs after being cooped up all day.

She filled a bowl with what was left from lunch, just as Sophia noticed Carl and Rick heading towards the trail.

Sophia instantly jumped to her feet ready to run off, before she turned back.

"Can I go?" she asked as Carl gave her an excited smile along with an enthusiastic wave.

"Sure. Just run this over to Daryl first" she asked casually as she passed her the bowl.

Sophia barley seemed to register the question. But her quick sprint across the camp slowed as she got closer to Daryl, cautiously approaching him as he leaned forward in his chair to lace his boots.

* * *

He had been sitting in his hot stuffy tent all morning, waiting to hear everyone leave the campsite. It wasn't that he wanted to be alone, it was just that he couldn't stand seeing them stare at him, as if they were waiting for him to snap.

He knew he had temper and he had been in more then his fair share of fights, but he never considered himself a violent person. But everyone seemed to think that he was, just because he had thrown a few punches when he found out that someone had left his brother to die.

His head hung as he finished lacing his boots, but his eyes shot from the task quickly when he heard the someone approaching. He didn't want to look up, hoping whoever it was had just been passing by.

"Hey" the quiet voice snapped his head up, he couldn't help but look around, confused as to why the lanky kid was standing in front of him.

"Um,… hey" he muttered as the girl moved closer and shoved a bowl in his face.

He looked at the food and over to Carol, who was doing a miserable job at pretending that she wasn't watching the exchange.

"Here. It's for you" Sophia insisted, nudging the bowl further towards him.

He shook his head slightly to himself and took the bowl, mumbling out his thanks to the girl.

Sophia weakly smiled at him, the warm grin very similar to the one her mother often gave him.

He didn't have time to respond to her "_goodbye"_ before she whipped herself around and ran of towards Carl and Rick.

It was obvious that they had been waiting on Sophia to join them and Carl's eyes were clearly focused on the girl, but Rick still didn't have the nerve to look at him. As if Rick thought it might set him off again.

In many ways he couldn't blame Rick for handcuffing his brother to the building. He knew that Merle could be an ass-hole and he had no doubt he deserved to be restrained. But subduing someone and leaving them to die were very different things.

Rick had acted as though he wanted to ride in like a knight and save Merle. Rick acted as though he wanted to save Merle because he felt so remorseful about the leaving him behind.  
But that remorse had seemingly only appeared after two whole nights had passed.  
That regret Rick apparently felt, didn't surface itself until after Daryl returned from hunting and lost his shit over the fact that Merle had been left to die.

He couldn't help himself but question Rick's morals, just as Rick was most likely questioning his. And maybe they both deserved the judgements they had cast upon each other. He didn't know really.

He ate the food as he walked through the empty campsite, making his way over to Carol. He threw the pieces into his mouth with his fingers before licking them clean. She was watching him eat and she looked almost embarrassed about it

He couldn't help but get curious as to why she was suddenly biting her bottom lip. He didn't think his horrible table manners were enough to make someone look as oddly excited as she did right now.

When he reached her side he nudged her out of his way so he could wash the bowl himself. She moved aside slightly and ignored the smirk on his face. And she ignored how that smirk expanded when he noticed she was blushing. Though he didn't know why.

Carol continued with what she was doing, and he wondered if she was going out of her way to brush her arm against his again. He was to close to her and he was in her way, not that she seemed to mind. But other people would. He shouldn't be this close and he shouldn't still be here, especially without any reason. But he knew if he moved then the innocent touching would stop and he wasn't ready for that yet.

"You ok?"  
He hummed in response, putting the clean bowl with the others. He looked up at her and he could tell she wasn't convinced.

He leaned into the table on his palms and nodded.  
"I'm alright" he answered unable to take his eyes off her hands, as they moved over to his until her finger tips were lightly placed on his.

Suddenly he was biting his lip and he was sure he was as red as she had been seconds ago.

The touch was minor but it made him sure that he wanted more from her. Nothing like the curious thoughts he'd had about her, he wanted the comfort that he could see she wanted to give him. Hell, he craved it.

She was the only person left who cared about him at all, no matter how little that may be.  
She was the only one who was concerned if he ate, or asked if he was ok.  
The only one who didn't look at him like he was a dangerous animal looking for blood.

Her fingers slowly moved over his and stayed there, he looked up to gauge her expression and saw that she was doing the same to him.

There was a lot going on in her eyes as they danced over his face, but what he saw most, was concern.

"I'll be back in a few hours" he added, encouraging her to relax. She forced a smiled at him and nodded before he finally had to find the strength to drag himself from her.

He knew, just by her expression, that she didn't want him to go out there like this. He could only guess how he looked right now, he knew he was a tired mess and he knew it showed. But honestly, he wanted the excuse to sit next to her while they made dinner and he couldn't do that without hunting something down.  
He would at the very least have that small amount of time with her, it was all he had to distract himself from everything that was falling apart around him.

It was the only time when he wouldn't feel so alone.

* * *

He was still awake long after everyone else had fallen asleep. He'd decided to drag Merle's sleeping bag out and sit on it , rather then dealing with the uncomfortable fold out chairs.

He was watching his fire burn out and waiting until he felt tired enough to crawl into the tent and go to sleep.

He was hoping that tonight would be, at least slightly better, then the few before it.

He felt better about Merle being gone after talking to Carol. She hadn't said anything profound or ground breaking while he helped her make dinner.  
Instead she had asked questions about his missing brother. She'd listened to him tell her a very uninteresting story about Merle, but she had acted as though it was very important information.

She had told him that she couldn't imagine what he was going through and that she hoped he knew that he wasn't alone. Even if he felt like he was. She told him that he would be ok. Even if he felt right now like he wouldn't.  
She didn't act as though Merle, just because he was an ass-hole, was insignificant, especially to him. It wasn't much, but her understanding helped ease the sting.

If the campsite wasn't so silent then he wouldn't have noticed her make her way out of her tent. He thought maybe she just needed to go to the bathroom and it had just happened that he was awake at the same time.

She walked quickly but her footsteps were soft as they hit the dirt, that was something he had always noticed about her.

Merle had cracked jokes about her being a mouse and maybe in some ways he agreed. He didn't think she was small or fragile. But she was definitely quiet and it seemed that a lot of the time she went unnoticed.

He felt nervous, so nervous his whole body twitched and he had to consciously straighten himself up as she got closer.

He didn't say anything when she sat down beside him. He wanted to ask her what the hell she was thinking. But his mouth was dry and her arm was touching his. So he just sat there like he didn't notice her.

"Can't sleep?" she asked nudging her arm into his, hard enough to make him sway slightly.

He felt like he had sat there for far to long, trying to answer the very simple question. A simple _yes_ or _no_ would have been better then the long silence that he had created.

"I'll go soon" he spat out way to fast, feeling like a complete idiot, because he was sure he was meant to know what she was doing out here with him. But he didn't have a single clue.

He had been fidgeting with his fingers, one hands was pulling at the other aimlessly, until she reached over and plied them apart. He couldn't help but flinch and pull back slightly at the unexpected contact, but she ignored the sudden movement and kept reaching for him.

He didn't move, he just watched as her fingers curled into his and she leaned into him a little bit more then she already was. Before he knew it she was resting into his side and he let himself relax slightly into her.

He knew they had only sat there like that for a few minutes. Her hand holding his, her head resting on his shoulder, but honestly it felt like hours.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok"

He nodded not knowing what else to say or do. She was running her thumb back and forth over the side of his palm and he wondered if she thought he was upset, if that's why she thought his hand was slightly shaking.

"You should get some sleep ok. It's late."

He finally looked down at her and she lifted her head of his shoulder. Her eyes met his in the faint light that the embers created.

He was going to tell her that he would, that he would get some rest and that maybe she should think about doing the same. Maybe she should leave before Ed noticed she wasn't in bed beside him.  
But once he realised how close her face was to his he couldn't remember how to form words. All he could think about was how her breath was hitting his mouth and how her eyes were locked on his.  
The way she looked at him made his breath hitch and his hand tighten around hers.

There was a moment when he wasn't sure what was about to happen.  
She seemed like she was lost in thought. There was a hint of a smile on her lips and she appeared so much more relaxed in that moment then he was, but maybe that was only because she had some kind of idea about what was happening.

The more he sat there looking in her eyes, the more he became aware of the fact that their thighs were touching. He could focus on how soft the skin of her hands were and how good she smelt.

She moved a little bit closer and the hand that wasn't clasped to his slowly reached up to his face. She lightly grazed her fingers over his cheek, there was no pressure in the touch, but he still felt like she was pulling him closer to her.

Maybe if he was used to something like this, then he would have been able to think faster, he would have been able to do something before he heard the crunching of leaves nearby.

Both of their head quickly turned towards the sound. He was ready to snatch up his crossbow and kill the walker that had interrupted them, more on the basis that it had interrupted them, rather then because it was a blood thirsty creature that wanted to eat them.  
But as they looked around them all they could see Rick Grimes.

The man stood there awkwardly, looking at them from across the camp with raised brows. They all froze until the former officer stuttered out a sound, one he decided against forming it into a word, before he turned back towards his tent.

He felt like a teenager that had just been caught in his room with a girl, instead of grown man caught with another mans wife. He watched Rick shake his head to himself before he was completely gone from their sights and he wondered just how big of a mouth Rick had.

"I should-…" Carol stammered out as she plied her hand from his and quickly stood up. He quickly looked from Rick to her, with his mouth hanging open. His head slightly nodded but she had turned and fled so fast that he didn't know if she had seen the muted response.

* * *

He woke up the next morning to hear Ed's loud and annoyed voice filling the campsite.  
He had jumped from his tent, expecting to find Carol on the receiving end of Ed's anger. His whole body instantly relaxed to the point where he could have collapsed when he saw that Ed was actually caught up in an argument with both Rick and Shane.

He made his way over and leaned into his truck to find out what was going on. It seemed right now that Ed's outburst was considered entertainment, because most of the camp was watching the exchange.

He kept a close eye on Carol, who was cautiously standing by and watching as Ed got more and more frustrated with Rick and Shane.

They wanted Ed to join the scouting group. The group that left once a week in search of supplies.  
Ed was arguing that he shouldn't be the one who was forced to make the trips, but neither Rick or Shane would budge on the matter.

They explained to Ed that their was a position that needed to be filled and he was the only one who could fill it.

As much as they obviously hated to admit it, Merle was an important key to their survival and without him they were coming up short.

Rick didn't know it when he abandoned Merle in Atlanta, but he had ditched one of the few people willing to put his life on the line and leave the safety of the group. Rick didn't know that he was leaving behind someone who actually volunteered to put his life on the line.

He couldn't help but smile to himself. He was pretty damned amused that without the ass-hole that he called his brother, they were not as strong a group as they once were.  
He found it almost hilarious that people actually needed Merle for something positive. But the fact was, Merle was gone, he died or vanished. And he'd done so working a job that they were trying to convince Ed to fill.  
Ed had gone on the occasional run, though he should have been made to go much more then he was. Basic fact was that Ed had gotten away with slacking off. Until now.

He leaned up against his truck trying to act as uninterested as possible, but he was clearly standing by waiting for Ed to lose his cool. He could even see Glenn and T-dog making their way over to do the same thing.

"It's just how things are. We lost Merle, we need someone to replace him and you have experience with weapons. That's all there is to it" Shane repeated, obviously growing tired of the argument as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What about the Hick why doesn't…"  
Rick quickly raised his hand before Ed could continue.  
He noticed Rick look over to see if he had any plans to retaliate. Rick looked somewhat relieved when realised Daryl had no intentions on biting back. Why would he? He didn't much care what pieces of shit like Ed had to say to him.

"Daryl is the only one we have left with hunting experience and who is willing to go out there, he helps everyone and only risks himself. He does enough." Rick pointed out firmly, with his eyes locked on Ed.

* * *

Carol noticed Daryl's face remain flat and emotionless while they talked about him like he wasn't three feet away, she waited for a flash of pride in his eyes, but they remained fixed on Ed as he twisted the bolt in his fingers.

She could only imagine what was running through Daryl's mind as he looked Ed up and down, quietly, but visibly waiting to attack Ed at a moments notice.

Everyone had circled around her husband as though they could all feel the rage building in the man.

She knew that Ed did very little for the group, especially in comparison to the other members.

He always fought against contributing and she had found herself trying to make up for that by doing more then her fair share. She didn't know if Ed would grow frustrated and decide to leave the group because they asked to much of him, so she hoped if she did more then was asked of her they would leave Ed alone and not see them as a hindrance on the group.

She didn't do any of this for Ed's sake. She did this for Sophia. To assure her daughter could stay within the protection of the group. Without it she didn't know that Sophia would be able to survive. She didn't think either of them would survive if they had to rely solely on Ed.

* * *

Ed continued to complain about the new arrangement. But it didn't matter, Shane had made his mind up. As Ed continued to complain, Daryl started to realise all this anger getting built up in the man had to be put somewhere.

He couldn't believe that no less than a minute after wishing Ed dead, he found himself alongside Shane and Rick, trying to calm him down.

He hated it, every fuckin' second of it.

But he did it.

He stood there and tried to reason with this ass-hole, tried to tell him that everyone was in the same boat. No one was any better off, even if it appeared that they were.

The only thing that kept him going through the conversation was the fact that Ed was going to have to go out there. And he was going to die out there.  
One day soon the mans luck would simply run out.

Honestly, he didn't know how he had made it this far.

He hopped they would come back from a bad run without Ed, he prayed they were still in the mindset of tying ass-holes down to rooftops and leaving their asses behind.

* * *

Daryl chewed at the nail on his thumb long after the taste of blood entered his mouth and it only got worse when he finally saw her walking through the camp towards him.

He dropped his head back down when he realised that Ed was watching her closely. He instantly started working, so that it didn't look like he had been urgently waiting on her arrival.

He had been out hunting but when he returned he overheard Lori and Jaqui saying that Carol and Ed had been gone for had been hidden away in the privacy of their tent, away from prying eyes.

Apparently he had demanded that she go with him not long after the decision had finally been set in stone, that Ed would be Merle's replacement. Not long after Ed realised there was nothing he could say that would change anyone's mind.

He moved his hands faster, trying to act like he wasn't interested in the fact that Carol was getting closer to him.

He decided against even looking up when she moved past him, to go to her regular spot at the table and begin preparing dinner. But he did look over to Ed, finding him looking very pleased with himself as he watched her like a hawk.

It didn't matter that Ed had finally declared that he would go out scouting, that he would accept that he had to do _something_,.. _anything_, to earn his place. What mattered was that Ed was quite obviously pissed of about it and Daryl knew exactly who Ed had decided to blame for the injustice of someone finally forcing him to retire from his position as a lazy prick.

He gripped the knife tighter in his hand and began chopping the meat roughly, scraping the flesh from the bone with much more force than was necessary.

He didn't want to get the job done quickly, the sooner he was done the sooner he would have to leave, but he couldn't slow his hands. He was using so much pressure on the blade that his knuckles turned white and handle dug into his palm.

He noticed Ed moving closer to them, flicking his cigarette to the ground a few feet away from where he was working. His eyes locked on the cigarette still burning in front of him and he wondered what the moron wanted. He wondered why he was still lingering. And he wondered how much more of this he could stand.

"You hurry up now, ya hear"

His head shot up to see Ed, just as the prick turned to walk away, leaving Carol nodding nervously.

He only scarcely noticed her hands shaking as she struggled to use the can opener, but it was more than enough.

He didn't know when he had gotten to his feet, but he was pretty sure it was sometime around _'hurry up'_.

The knife was still in his grip, but now it felt heavy. Now it felt like a magnet dragging him to Ed. Without a second thought he took a step in Ed's direction, ready to let the anger inside of him loose.

"Stop"

The whisper was weak but forceful and it was enough to make his steps falter. He looked at her closely, for the first time since she arrived at the table. Even if she wouldn't look at him, he scanned her body from head to toe.

She wanted him to stop.

She wanted him to act as though he was ok with this. But that was impossible to do that when her eyes were red and glassy and he had to wonder where the bruises were hidden.

"Fuck"

He didn't mean to say it out loud, but it came out anyway. He dropped the knife on to the end of the table, letting his fingers flex out as they loosened of the handle.

He couldn't look at her like this, not without killing Ed right here in broad daylight.  
He felt his finger close back into his palm, his fingernails digging into the rough hardened skin until it stung and he tried to focus on that pain.

He couldn't listen to that moron talk to her like that, and he was sure that he shouldn't be letting him talk to her like that. He was sure because of the sick twisted feeling he got in his gut as soon as moron opened his mouth, and how that feeling made him want to shut Ed's trap permanently.

But he couldn't. She didn't want him too, and he didn't get it.

He didn't know what she was waiting for.

But mixed in with the rage and frustration he had for Ed was something else and as soon as it hit him it was impossible to disregard.

He didn't say anything or look at her again. He couldn't. He just turned and left.

_Moron is right_, he thought. _I know exactly who the fuckin' moron is_.

He was just her friend and nothing else, he hardly knew her. He was the idiot reading into small touches and glances, and thinking-… whatever the hell it was that he was thinking.

He was slipping now. He was getting closer every day. Closer to her and closer to losing it with Ed. And he realised it would be a big fuckin' waste of his time, because she had no plans to leave him.

She was just as fucked up as he was. He just didn't realise it until now.

If she could just walk away from Ed she would have, long before she met him. Hell, he would have fucked off on Merle and his old man. But he didn't. How could he expect her to do something he could never do himself?

The problem was, if he kept this shit up he'd lose her.  
Yet, if he did nothing he was gonna loose her.

There was no happy ending insight. Not that he was surprised, there was always going to be that part of him that was waiting for her to disappear. Everything always left him eventually.  
Nothing had ever worked out for him and he should have known better then to think that this would be any different.

* * *

"You coming?"

He couldn't help but look over his shoulder. He knew Ed was gone on a run, but still this just seemed risky. And stupid, really, really stupid.

He couldn't help but think that she liked seeing him standing there like an idiot. All it would take is one of the others to open their mouths and Ed would try to kill them both.

_This isn't worth it, _he thought, trying to convince himself.

"Fine, I'll go alone" she said casually with a smile, before turning towards the trail and briskly walking off.

He rolled his eyes and followed her, he knew Dale was watching, but thankfully the rest of the group seemed too busy to notice him following the very married women into the woods. Alone.

He knew this was coming sooner or later.  
He had been avoiding her for more then a week and it was more then obvious. At least it would have been obvious to her.

Even when they made dinner he moved fast and stayed away from her. He avoided eye contact at all costs and refused to talk to her. It had become a hobby, but the time it took to avoid her, kept her in his mind constantly on her.

He wanted to move his tent away from hers, just so he wouldn't have to see her so damn much. But at the same time he knew he could never bring himself to do that, if something happened he wanted to be there.

That's when he realised he could stay close and stay away from her at the same time.

But right now. After days of nothing. He found he was unable to help himself.

He followed her, even if it was going against his plan. He knew she wanted to question him about how he had been treating her. But it didn't matter why she wanted him to go with her, because the thought of being alone with her again, with less of a chance of being caught, was far to appealing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He'd noticed Rick eyeing him all morning. He had seen his eyes darting between him and Carol, long after Ed left on a run with the rest of his new work mates.

Their trip was a simple one, as simple as going out there can get. They had to get fuel and as much as they could. They would also take whatever they found on the way and then return. He doubted they would be gone long, fuel was easier to find when their were cars scattered everywhere.

It wasn't to hard to figure out why Rick was watching him. Any shred of doubt he had, any thoughts of him being paranoid were evaporated when Rick approached him and asked_ if he had any idea what he was doing_, _if he had any idea what this kind of conflict this could cause._

He could see it in Ricks face that he did not approve. But Rick seemed to think there was a lot more going on then their actually was. He wondered that if Rick knew that he had hardly touched Carol, if Rick would still be looking at him the same way. But he wasn't about to defend himself to Rick Fuckin' Grimes.

There were a lot of things he wanted to say to Rick but he had settled for telling him _to mind his own business._

After all, there was more then one married women sneaking out of her tent in the middle of the night. Every one knew Lori was still messing around with Shane. Rick knew it to. But he would never bring it up with Rick. He would never get himself involved that particular situation, _because it wasn't his business.  
_

He never thought about what was going on between Lori, Shane and Rick. He didn't necessarily have a strong opinion on the matter. Sure, he had considered why Lori was fucking around on Rick with Shane. He didn't really care for Rick, but he thought the guy deserved better.

In some ways, maybe it could be seen as a similar situation. Two men and one married women.

But it wasn't the same. Carol wasn't Lori and Ed sure as shit wasn't Rick.

If Carol was with someone like Rick then this would be a completely different ballgame. If she was with someone like Rick maybe he would have thought differently about following her into the woods just to be alone with her. He would have thought that Ed deserved better. But once again, Ed wasn't Rick.

He was trusting her to lead the way and relying on his ears to pay attention to their surroundings.  
He had to let her lead the way because he had no idea where they were going and because he couldn't seem to take his eyes away from the sweat forming on her neck.

He watched each drop emerge from her hair, run over her spine and disappear below her shirt.

It took 34 drops for him to have the sudden realisation that he needed to get the fuck out of this camp. 40 drops before he thought about going on a long ass hunting trip. And 47 before he thought about making it a permanent one.

He needed to leave because he obviously didn't have the good sense to stay away from her. He could see that now as he reached 60th drop, just as she stopped and spun around to face him.

He dropped his gaze to the ground and folded his arms around himself, taking a step back when he realised just how unnecessarily close he was to her.

He kept his eyes on his boots and waited.

He suddenly wished he hadn't followed her. He wished he hadn't been ignoring her all week, maybe then he wouldn't be here in this odd situation, one that was making him uncomfortable.

He looked up from his feet, just enough to see her hands twisted together in front of her stomach, rubbing and pulling at each other. She was covering her soft skin in red blotches, as if she was anxiously trying to pull the skin off. The thought of that made him openly cringe and he wanted to reach out and stop her, but he didn't have the nerve.

"Are you mad at me?" she stuttered out softly. The nervousness radiating from her was enough to make his discomfort grow and enough to make him feel like an ass-hole.  
He'd upset her, made her feel bad. He never intended to do that.

He hadn't really thought about how she would feel if he was to pull away from her. Maybe he thought she'd adjust and move on. But he hadn't actually explained himself or taken the time to ask her what she was thinking. He just pulled away because it was to much for him to deal with. It was just what he did. It was what he had always done.

Of course, he was mad, he was fucking furious. This whole thing was getting more and more fucked up by the second and he couldn't seem to pull his shit together enough to stop it, but he wasn't mad at her. Not really. He sighed heavily and put the crossbow down, so he could finally explain himself, without a weapon in his hand.

When he forced himself to look up, he noticed that the smile he followed here had disappeared from her face. Now her eyes looked fearful and he could see a slight shake in her bottom lip.

He tried to find the right words, tried to figure out a way to tell her that he didn't think he was capable of standing by while someone was treating her how Ed was. Not without killing him.

But as his eyes finally found hers he couldn't think about anything else but removing the grim expression she was holding.

His hand drifted out until his fingers found hers. He watched as her long thin digits intertwined with his, to make her stop picking and pinching at her skin. The contact made her whole body freeze, as soon as his rough calloused hand hit her smooth skin.

He knew that something was about to happen. He wasn't going to freeze up again, he wasn't going to turn into a stunned moron again. He wasn't going to let the moment slip by.

He gauged her reaction, focusing on the slight curve that appeared on her mouth. Her lip stopped shaking and her eyes brightened with the simple touch.

He felt bold, though it was something so simple. But this wasn't the same as a stolen touch of comfort, surrounded by the entire camp. It wasn't the same as the night outside of his tent when he was clueless about what he should do. No, this was intimate and really fucking inappropriate to be doing with someone's wife.

But still, he could feel a pull between them and it was impossible to ignore.

It was like they had an elastic band around them, dragging them together. He gave into that pull and let it draw him closer to her.

The step he took had their hands pressed between them. He could feel her fingers wrapped up with his, pressing into his stomach. He could see her chest rising and falling as she took in each heavy breath. He could feel her moving close to him.

All thoughts of leaving had disappeared and were replaced with absurd fantasies of her bare skin on his, her hands tangled into his hair and running all over him.

_Fuck it. He'd gone this far_, he thought as he began ripping his bottom lip through his teeth.

He lifted his free hand up to her shoulder and lightly grasped it for a moment. He waited a second to see is she would step back or tell him to stop, but all she did was close her eyes as if she was savouring the contact. When she didn't protest he started gliding his finger past her shoulder seeking out the drops of sweat that fell over the back of her neck.

He glided his fingers up and wiped the cool moisture into his skin. He heard her breathing grow heavy, as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him.

He was mesmerised by the feel of being this close, of feeling his fingers running up to her hairline where the sweat freely fell.

Irrational thoughts of being able to run his mouth over the area erupted in his head and he couldn't seem to force the idea away. It was an actual struggle not to act on that impulse.

He could see doubt in her eyes, but there was something else lingering behind it.

He didn't want to lose this moment, as if he and _the doubt_ she felt were in a battle, and he had to do anything he could to win.  
He quickly tightened his hand on her neck and pulled her lips to his.

It was just for a few seconds, but he felt her kiss him back with a desperation he didn't expect. Her hands were suddenly taken from his and were flat on his chest. She didn't push him away, but she pulled her lips from his and looked at him like she was seconds from running.

"You don't know what you're doing" she said scrunching her brow as she shook her head, dropping it into his chest.

The feel of hair brushing his chin and her forehead pressed into his chest, was not something he could enjoy after what she had just said. His whole-body tensed while he took in her accusation with a sting.

"Wha-? Course I do." He said firmly, battling her _uncertainty_ that had burst through her seams and into quiet moment.

"No. you don't." She whispered as she shook her head more firmly and moved back. His hand slid of her neck as she pushed him back, putting far to much space between , he was still in shock from having her lips on his to think about stopping her.

He'd never been like his brother. He's never bothered to actively seek out women like it was a hobby or a sport. He'd gotten lucky from time to time, but he couldn't name a single one of those women from his one-night-stands. It had been nothing but luck, if you could call it that. He mostly thought of it as being the last guy at the bar, landing the last women there. She'd only chosen him because there were no better options and she was desperate not to go home alone.  
But that wasn't what was happening here. At least not for him.

He'd never met anyone like her. She was nice and warm and comforting. She was something he'd never have approached, because she was out of his league. But he had approached her, he'd talked with her, held her hand, he'd kissed her.

"I want you" the words fell out of his mouth and they seem to have her frozen. Her eyes were fixed on his mouth as he reached out to take a hold of her waist. The want, desire, lust or whatever the fuck it was, was seeping back in and he wanted to take advantage of it before it disappeared again.

He could feel her hands on his chest still. Her fingers flexing until they were pressed firmly into him, digging into him, causing a low muffled growl erupt from his throat. She wasn't pushing him away or pulling him in. It was as if she couldn't decide what she wanted to do.

He leaned down and pulled her back to him again, in a desperate attempt to run his tongue over her lips once more. She kissed back with more eagerness then she had before. This time she parted her lips and he felt her tongue collide with his. This time he ran his hands over her back and held on to her so much tighter then he had.

The closeness caused the same dizziness and he felt her grip his shirt like she wanted to rip it off, before they suddenly went flat again. Then they were gone.

"That's what I'm talking about" her voice was firm as she pushed him off, stumbling away from him. His mouth hung open as she moved out of his grasps.

He studied her closely as she closed her arms around herself and looked at him, eyeing him like he should know what she was getting at. But he didn't. He wanted her. It was simple. It was the simplest thing in the world right now.

"I have a daughter Daryl,… a husband. It's not just me."

He went to talk, to interrupt her. He wanted to tell her he could handle all of it. But before he could say a word she raised her hand in front of herself, like she was asking permission to finish. He closed his mouth and lowered his head, chewing at his lip and nodding.

"I can't ride off into the sunset with you. Were stuck here. With this group. With him." Her voice started to raise and shake. She started to sound angry, angry because she felt like she didn't have any options.

"That means you would have to deal with that every day. And Sophia-…." She shook her head and he could see her trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes.

"It's too much, you need to think about what this means for you. He's not going to roll over and except me leaving. Do you see this isn't fair on you Daryl? I can't ask this from you. You can't ask someone to take all of that on. I won't"

He shook his head as she spoke, captivated by the occasional tremor in her words. His mouth hanging open again like an idiot, as he tried to approach her again, only to be stopped by her open palm that paused him in his tracks.

"I wont ask you to kill him for me. I don't want you to. I cant live with that. Can you understand that?"  
He tried to comprehend what she was saying. He wanted to take it in, because she obviously meant it. She didn't want him to kill Ed because she didn't think he should have to do something like that for her. She couldn't live with him having to do something like that for her.

"Do want to leave him Carol?" he asked dipping his head slightly to line his eyes up with hers.  
There was a flash of fear in her eyes when he asked the question.  
She swallowed and looked over her shoulder, as though she thought Ed was lurking in the woods, instead of half way to Atlanta.

"I need to figure this out. On my own. You shouldn't get involved in this. It's not fair on you" she spoke so softly he could barely make out the words. His confused gaze fixed on the tears in her eyes, until they finally won and began falling over her cheeks.

"Carol, I can help. Let me help" He started pleading but he could see the resolve in her face.

"I can-… I can handle this" she said firmly as she swatted the tears away and turned away from him before he could say anything else.

He didn't try to stop her. He didn't know what else he had to offer. She brought him up here to find out if he was angry at her. He wasn't and she knew that now.  
He could feel the knots tightened in his stomach as she walked back onto the path and started heading towards the camp. He watched her wonder down the trail, still swiping the tears of her cheeks harshly. He hung back as she approached the campsite. He stayed hidden and waited until she met up with Lori, Jaqui and Dale before he slipped back into the woods alone.

* * *

He hadn't needed to hunt, he hadn't needed to sit by Carol while they prepared dinner.

Andrea and Amy had spent the afternoon fishing and had gotten more then enough feed the whole group and Ed and the others had returned with trunk load of canned goods they had found in a truck on the highway, along with the fuel the group needed.

Everyone had gathered into three small groups to have dinner,the groups were separate, but close by each other. He had sat by T-dog and Jaqui to eat, because they had invited him to. His position gave him a clear view of Carol and as usual he couldn't help himself but watch her far to closely.

She looked like she was very focused on the fish she was eating. She kept her eyes on her plate and chewed each bite for much longer then was necessary, as though she was to lost in thought to remember to swallow her food.

He wondered what was going through her head. What she had in mind. She said she could handle it, but he didn't know how she expected to do be able to do that when Ed was such an obvious threat to her.

After dinner, Ed had decided to go to bed and he decided that Carol and Sophia needed to go also. That was right when Daryl decided he needed to retire for the night as well.

It occurred to him as he crawled into his tent, that she was right in a way.

He hadn't thought it through.

When he really considered everything she had said, he realised that he could only ever look after himself, that was all he seemed to be capable of. And he didn't really do a good job at that most of the time.

If Carol left Ed, then Carol and the kid would be his responsibility. Anything that happened to them would be on him. That alone scared him beyond belief.

He had never looked after anyone before. He hadn't had a girlfriend, just a few drunken one-night stands and he always made sure he was gone as soon as it was over. Obviously, that wouldn't be an option with Carol, he couldn't panic and fuck off.

He was stuck with this group, just as much as Ed was.

He wanted her, he knew he wanted her because he could feel it in his gut. It wasn't a clear and calculated thought or plan. He just wanted her. But Carol was right, it wasn't as simple as that.

She had a kid. He didn't know how old Sophia was exactly, but he guessed she was no older ten or eleven. She was defenceless and there was a good possibility, regardless of his good intentions, he may only make her life worse then it already was.

He'd never even babysat a kid before.

And Sophia was obviously a nervous wreck. He noticed her tearing holes into her jeans. The kid didn't seem stupid. She knew they couldn't just run to the shop and get her more, so obviously she couldn't stop herself. What was it gonna do to her when she had a new reason to look over her shoulder.

Most of the time he had tried not to look at Sophia, because she made him so fuckin jumpy. Her head would spin and her body would jerk, like she saw or heard something coming. He wouldn't think, just grip his gun or crossbow, getting ready to attack. But there was never anything there. The kid was just fucking on edge and if he watched her to closely then it put him on edge.

Then there was Ed. Fucked if he knew what Ed would do once he figured out what was going on.

The best of men would have trouble keeping their shit together, but an asshole like Ed would probably plot a slow death for the pair of them.

_Fuck. He'd have to watch her and the kid every second._

And the minute he took his eyes off them…, _god he could fuck this up_.

There were runs, hunting trips, traps that needed to be set, water that needed to be fetched, how could he keep them both safe from Ed and the walkers?

He couldn't really offer them safety, because no one could promise that anymore.

He laid on his side, in his usual tensed position. His gun and crossbow still spread out across Merle's empty spot.

As he looked around, he noticed Merle's scattered belongings were still around him and left untouched. As though he was still expecting his brother to return. Maybe a part of him wanted to believe that this solitude was temporary. But Merle wasn't coming back and he doubted Carol would leave Ed.

Lately when he couldn't sleep he would think of her and create a kind of story in his head. One where she was safe. Where she was lying beside him instead of the pile of weapons. But he couldn't even do that tonight. All he could do was worry that she wouldn't leave Ed and then also worry that if she did, then he was going to have to protect them from Ed. There was only one way he knew to do that, but it wasn't an option.

He couldn't just kill the man because Carol made it clear that she didn't want him to do that. He also didn't know the consequences of doing that. He didn't know if Rick would kick him out. If that happened he would have to leave Sophia and Carol behind. And as much as he trusted the group to fight to stay alive, he also knew that when it came down to it, they would protect their own first. That meant that Carol and her daughter would have to fend for themselves.

He squeezed his eyes tight, wanting to fall asleep. So he chased away the bad thoughts as best he could. He tried to focus on how good it felt to have his hands on her. How it felt during those few moments when she had kissed him back. That was what had helped him relax enough to finally drift off.

Those sweet thoughts he'd had, did not follow him into his sleep. Those comforting thoughts were twisted and darkened, unfocused and torturous until they resembled the nightmares that haunted him. But just because those comforting thoughts didn't follow him into his sleep, it didn't mean that those nightmares wouldn't follow him after he woke up.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep when his eyes snapped open to the sounds of moans and screams. He wondered if it was real, or if they were just sounds lingering in his head from the nightmare he'd been caught in moments before. But with in seconds he felt the earth vibrating beneath him and heard the gun go off. And he knew it was real. He knew he had to move and move fast.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

There were whole seconds that had passed by.

He'd untangle himself from the sleeping bag. He'd had to grab his gun and crossbow. He had to pull the zipper down to open his tent up. It was only a few seconds, but he had to wonder, if the time it took him to make his way out, would be something that he would run over and over again in his head, later when this was all over.

It had happened so many times before. He had made decisions that he later regretted, no matter how small those decisions had seemed when he was making them, they had shaped his life and changed his path.

He dreaded to think that he would he be stuck wishing he could change something, knowing if he had done one single thing different that it would have made all the difference.

When his feet hit the dirt he could hear yelling echoing around him and he knew he should run in the direction of the horrified noises, he knew he should instantly work to help who ever needed help. But that wasn't what he did. He stopped and scanned the area, until he found her. When his sights fell on her that was the direction he moved towards.

She was by the three fires where they all had eaten dinner. She was shielding Sophia behind her, armed with nothing but a shovel that she was using to push back a Walker, but it continued to advance on her, no matter how many times she knocked it down or hit it.

He darted straight ahead to her, taking down the dead as they lunged at him. He could see more of them getting closer and closer to Carol and her daughter, but every time he tried to get closer, there would be another on one him, smacking its teeth in his face.

He could see Shane covering Rick, while Rick worked to get Lori, Carl and Amy into the RV.  
That was where he needed to get Carol and Sophia. That was where Shane was trying to herd everyone.

He knew he was too far away to get there in time and it was so fuckin' dark he could barely make out what was alive and what was dead. But no matter how dark it was, he couldn't miss Ed's big form ahead of him, watching as another walker got even closer to Carol. And he didn't miss Ed running in the other direction to save himself.

Carol was so busy trying to knock down the Walker in front of her that she hadn't seen the others that were almost close enough to reach out to her.  
He knew there was to much ground to cover and to many obstacles, he raised his arm and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew into the walker's head and it collapsed in front of them both and he continued on until he dropped the other two that were nearing them.

He noticed, in the seconds it took for the walkers to fall, Sophia's wide eyes and panicked expression.

He could see when one of the walkers he shot collapsed into her and knocked her slightly off balance. The corpse hadn't even settled on the ground when she took of running, vanishing down the path before Carol had a second to even notice she was gone.

There was this horrible ache in his chest, brought on by his breathes that were moving in and out, way to fast. His pulse was throbbing in his ears as he grabbed Carol around the waist. She fought against him as he stopped her from following the kid.

He didn't say anything. He just remembered grabbing her far too tightly and pushing her into Shane arms, who instantly locked her against his chest.

He could hear her screaming out while he sprinted down the dark trail. one that they used to get in and out of the camp. But the sounds Carol made were so pained that he couldn't decipher any of the words, except his and Sophia's names.

As he made his way down the path he could see Sophia in the distance, trying to get into the car, frantically pulling at the locked door of Ed's old Cherokee, just a group of walkers emerged from the treeline.

Again, his arm flew up and began shooting down the walkers until the the gun stopped firing. It clicked in his hand twice before he realized he was out of bullets.

He pulled his knife out just as he realized that Sophia was completely frozen by the truck, unable to take her eyes of the nearing walkers, no matter how much he pleaded with her to run.

He knew he would have to go through the Walkers to get to her, seeing as the kid was to scared to move.

As he ran towards them he could hear someone coming, someone running towards them, but he knew they were too far away to help them.

He launched himself at the first walker, tackling it into the ground before it could get any closer to the kid. He felt one fall on him as he pulled the knife from the first walker's skull, quickly turning over to take down the other that was trying its damnedest to bite into his neck.

He was covered in their blood and he could feel it running over his face as he watched more approaching. He realized right then that he was going to die, but that he didn't care.

He just had to keep them away from the kid until the others caught up. He knew that there would be no point in surviving if she died because he couldn't face Carol if Sophia didn't make it. He didn't think he could live with himself if he failed her in such a catastrophic way.

He ran at one and pushed the knife into its eyes and pushed the body back into one of the others, to give him more time.

He could hear Sophia panting behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to turn and look at her. She still had the car to her back and he was relying on it to block her while he stayed in front of her. He continued to tell her to run back to the camp, but she couldn't seem to remember how her feet worked.

This is _it_ he thought, he was going to fuck everything up. He took down another walker, as another drew closer, with more emerging from the woods.  
He thought about grabbing her and running but he knew that would leave him unable to fight his way through the small mob. There was no option but to keep going and just pray that eventually Sophia regained her senses enough to get the fuck out of dodge.

He could feel his throat burning in panic as two more came at him.  
It was over, there were just to many for him to take on alone.  
He couldn't protect her.  
They were going to get past him eventually, all he could do was fight until he had no more fight left in him. He sunk him knife into the walker, then struggled to get it into the other, just as another drew closer to him.

The bang that erupted behind him was deafening and was enough to draw the attention of the walkers that were staggering forward from the tree line.

He turned to find Jim wearing a determined expression but he was drenched in blood and Daryl had a feeling that more of it belonged to Jim then the dead he had been fighting.

He expected to hear Sophia scream or react, but she didn't make a noise or move an inch, she just squeezed her eyes closed tighter and covered her ears with her hands, as she started mumbling something to herself.

He continued to take down as many as he could with the knife, Jim continued to shoot, and they both backed up towards Sophia.

When he noticed more arriving he heaved in a breath and ran forward to begin taking them out as they skulked out from the woods.

For the first time in the minutes since he had arrived down the path he was sure that they were going to make it out alive. He was confident that he and Jim had saved the girl and knowing that brought on so much relief that he was sure he was going to keel over at any minute.

There were more then a dozen bodies surrounding them and the sight was enough to make him want to close his eyes right along with the girl. He dropped himself into the final walker and plunged the knife through it's eye, falling to the ground right alone with it.

He sucked back as many breath as he could, trying to get the air back into his lungs as he wiped his arm across his face. He slowly drug the knife from the last one and gave into exhaustion, hunching forward on his knees.

He struggled to get his hands to stop shaking, when the quiet kid behind him finally made a noise.

Only then did it hit him that he hadn't heard the gun being fired and he wasn't sure when he last heard it. Now all he could hear was Sophia screaming.  
When he turned he could see Jim hanging on to her leg as she struggled on the ground, trying to kick him off, squealing out a sound that made his blood run cold.

He pounced from his spot and jumped onto him and started stabbing Jim's skull uncontrollably.

He didn't know what had come over him. He knew Jim was dead, but a part of him just couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that just when he thought it was over that something else had crept up and tried to take it all away. That he was stupid enough to relax during the end of the world and think he was safe.

Maybe it was from the shock and the adrenaline mixing together, maybe it had turned to poison in his veins and was making him go crazy. Maybe that was why he couldn't seem to stop himself as he continued to plunge the knife into Jim long after there was no hope that anyone would be able to recognize his face again.

When the knife finally jammed into Jim's skull and he couldn't pull it out, he grabbed Jim's gun without a second thought and he shot what was left of him.

The sound of the gun caused his body to repel back and he scrambled his feet, still sure that Jim was going to come at them.

He felt the kid run at him, wrap her arms around him. He kept the gun firmly in his hand while he yanked her off the ground, sure that something else was going to grab at her again.

She clung to him like a monkey. Her arms were around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. He could feel her fingernails cutting into the skin on his neck and the heels of her sneakers digging into his back, but he didn't think about plying her off him or moving away from the bodies. He couldn't do anything but stare at Jim's body, that lay mutilated at his feet.

Jim's face was unrecognizable, but he was sure he could still hear him moaning. Like he was going to jump up at any minute and attack again. He still felt liike he needed to stop Jim, but he didn't know how many more times he could smash the poor bastards head in.

He couldn't stop the ringing in his ears or focus on anything except Jim.

That second before Jim turned, he thought he was safe, he thought he had it under control.

But he almost done it all, just to watch the kid die right before his eyes.

The air rushing in and out of his lungs refused to slow and he finally realized the wheezing sound was coming from him.  
He could still feel the way Jim's head caved in beneath the blade as he forced it in, over and over.

It was like he could tell the blood apart.  
Like the blood from Jim and the blood from the walkers was made from a different substance.

Like the blood that had sprayed up from Jim was burning his skin.

He'd talked to Jim dozens of times, even if it was only to talk about shit like the whether or what he had caught while hunting. He'd eaten meals with Jim, he'd fixed Jim's car when it wouldn't run,-…he'd pounded Jim's head in with a knife and shot him for good measure.

* * *

She'd ran towards the small gathering and she had found nervous faces. Faces that were guarded and concerned. She had begged them, before she had even gotten close enough to see anything, to tell her that Daryl and Sophia were ok.

Shane and Rick had assured her they were fine as she finally reached them and she could have collapsed when she realized that Daryl was standing in the middle of the group holding Sophia firmly to his chest.

She had made no move to try to pull Sophia from Daryl's arms, she just got close to them and wrapped her arms around them both, before she started trying to sooth her frightened daughter.

Daryl stood frozen with his eyes fixed ahead, as though he hadn't even noticed her arrival but she didn't have the sense right now to wonder why, she couldn't think about anything but the fact that they were both ok.

Her hands kept moving over Sophia, looking in every spot she could. She could feel the terror radiating of her daughter as she ran her fingers over her skin.

She was lost in a trance while she checked for bites or injury, but from what she could see her daughter had escaped unharmed.

The strong wave of relief continued to wash over her and she couldn't understand why everyone was so quiet and stilled around her. Rick cautioned her to be careful but she didn't understand what she supposed to be careful of, until she noticed why they were all keeping their distance.

Daryl's arm was extended forward holding a gun at a mangled body that lay at his feet. His eyes were still focused on it. He was visibly stunned as he heaved in rough breaths that sounded painful to take and even more painful to release.

"It's ok Daryl, it's over" Shane promised, keeping his voice as calm as possible while he approached Daryl slowly, with his hands open in front of him.

No matter what Shane or Rick said, Daryl and Sophia refused to move, both frozen in a moment that had happened before any of them had arrived.

She stood at Daryl's side, her hands lightly running over Sophia's back trying to soothe her as Rick and Shane continued to talk to Daryl. She wasn't sure if they were concerned for Daryl's well being, for Sophia's, or their own in that moment. Maybe it was a combination of the three.

"You don't have to let it go, just bring your arm down" Rick requested, placing his hand on Daryl's wrist, slowly pushing it to his side.

Finally Daryl nodded and slightly stepped back. There was a sign of recognition in his eyes and she thought that with a bit more time he would be just fine. He just needed a second to wrap his mind around what had just happened.  
He'd saved her daughter. He could take all the time he needed as far as she was concerned. She was in no hurry and she was happy to stand here for as long as he and Sophia needed.

Slowly she could hear other members of the group arriving but she couldn't take her eyes off Daryl and Sophia to see who it was. The feet hitting the ground had grown louder and louder before they finally came to a halt.

"Is that?" Glenn asked looking at the body in front of them, but stopped himself as he took in the horrific sight.

"it's Jim" Shane answered unable to take his eyes off the bloody corpse himself.

Her eyes drifted from Sophia to look at Glenn as he spoke. The mention of Jim's name had sped Daryl's breathing up again and she wanted to request that everyone be quiet, even if it was just for a few more minutes. She was ready to speak when she noticed Ed glaring at her, that was when she realized that only one of her hands was placed lightly on Sophia's back, the other was around Daryl and she was soothing circles between his shoulders, just as she was with Sophia.

She didn't have a second to think about stepping back, or trying to reason with Ed. She had seen that look before and she knew there was nothing she could do to calm him down before he reacted. She expected him to grab her, to pull her away from Daryl but Ed didn't go for her.

She flinched as his hands reached out and grabbed hold of Sophia's arm, in attempt to ply them from around Daryl's neck. Without warning Sophia let a terrified scream into the night, making a sound that even Carol had never heard her make before.

Within seconds the calm was gone and buried among the sounds of raised voices. Sophia cried out as Rick's and Shane's attempted to pull Ed away from his daughter.  
But it all stopped instantly as Daryl's arm raised back up pointing the gun straight into Ed's face, bringing back the silence that had filled the air seconds ago.

She watched as Ed's hand sprung of Sophia's arm and he stumbled back, glaring at Daryl as he did. Everyone encouraged Daryl to lower the gun again and for a moment she wasn't sure if he was going to, or if she even wanted him to. She looked between them, seeing how their eyes were locked on each others. She had never seen that look on Daryl's face before, his eyes narrow and jaw was locked. She could see the deliberation taking place in Daryl expression, she knew he wasn't crazed or out of control, he knew what he wanted to do and she could see the very moment he decided against it.

He didn't wait for anyone or listen to anything they had to say. He shook his head and took a step back, assuring Ed wasn't going to follow him, before he quickly turned and walked back to the camp. The group quickly surrounded Ed trying to persuade him to calm down as he boiled with anger, wanting to chase down the _'hick'_ who had stormed off with his daughter.

Her eyes locked with Ed's just for a second. She knew what her job was. It was to stay with Ed, to keep Ed calm, in order to keep Sophia safe. When Ed got angry, when Ed didn't get his way, that was when he was at his most dangerous and though she knew she would regret it later, she turned and followed Daryl back towards the light of the campfires, that still glowed in the distance.

* * *

Shane kept an eye on Ed, giving him errands to keep him busy and to keep him as far away from Daryl as he could. Shane insisted that Ed go and get water for everyone, seeing as Ed refused to help with much else. Ed being Ed, he argued and complained until he finally drove off with some of the others to complete the simple but necessary task.

She watched them leave in Daryl's truck and quickly took her chance to start packing up the rest of Daryl's things. She quickly realized that most of Daryl's things were already packed into his bag, what was left appeared to be Merle's belongings, that she took care putting away into Merle's bag.

She didn't think Merle would be back, she didn't think Daryl was waiting on Merle's return, but she was sure that what was left of Merle's presence would be important to Daryl.  
As she started folding the tent, Shane came over and began helping her, without asking if she needed it. He took over and started rolling the tent up tightly and tying it off with rope, rather then trying to fit it into the small tent bag. She was slightly relieved she didn't have to try to wrestle the thing into the small bag, it would take to much time and she knew her husband would be back soon and most likely be even more upset when he arrived back and found that nothing had changed.

"You got a plan?" Shane asked looking over at Daryl who sat in the dirt leaning into the side of the RV, with her Sophia, who was still refusing to unwrap her arms from around his neck.  
"Ed's likely to blow soon Carol, just looking at him over there with Sophia." Shane added as he piled Daryl's belongings up, ready to be thrown into his truck.

"She's in shock, they both are. He saved her and-…she just wants to feel safe" Carol answered quietly watching Daryl staring straight ahead into nothing, still holding the gun firmly in his hand.

Shane nodded "That's understandable but..."

"I'll figure it out" she said quickly before Shane could continue asking her questions about things that she herself didn't have answers to.

She walked over to Daryl and Sophia quietly, rubbing her arm while looking around to see who was watching her. She couldn't help but feel like she was bringing on more trouble, when the group already had enough.

She could only think of one way to avoid more chaos.

"We'll be ready to leave soon" she said softly as she knelt in the dirt next to Daryl and Sophia.

She reached out and rubbed soothing circles on Sophia's back realizing she was asleep, but her death grip on Daryl had not loosened. He looked so tired and pale, and she felt horrible for him, the sight of him sitting in the dirt, covered in blood and sweat was enough to push her forward. She desperately wanted to make things easier for him, because he didn't deserve to have any more of her problems pushed on him.

"You can put her in the car if you want, if we do it before Ed gets back then maybe..."

"He hurt her" Daryl said through a dry throat, so quietly that she wasn't sure she heard him properly.

His head rolled against the RV to face her, revealing his red eyes before he glanced down towards her daughters arm, that was resting on his shoulder.

She felt her brow crease as she reached out lifted Sophia's sleeve and saw the bruise left from where Ed had grabbed her, trying to pull her away from Daryl.

The sickening feeling that hit her stomach made her want to cry and scream, but she couldn't even find her voice to form words. She choked out a noise as her mind raced, swimming with thoughts she couldn't sought through.  
Now she could understand the silent rage that was growing behind Daryl's eyes.

"What you gonna do Carol?" he whispered coldly, as if he could see her mind ticking as she nodded to herself, wiping the stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

There was no question, she knew now what she had to do.

There was no time to think or come up with a strategic plan. She had to keep her safe. Sophia had survived the attack because of Daryl, the only injury she sustained was from her own father.

It couldn't be this way.

She wasn't safe with him, neither of them where.

"Will you wait in the RV with her?" Carol asked watching as his brow narrowed at the request.

"What about you?" Daryl said glancing over as Ed, Rick and T-dog arrived back to the camp, in his Truck.

"Shane and Rick are here. I'll be fine. It's best if you're both are out of sight"

He hesitated for a long moment before he finally nodded, though she could tell he still didn't agree.

She stepped back as he got up and made his way into the RV, watching Ed watch him. He quietly pulled the RV door closed behind him as Ed slammed the door to the truck.

Her breaths were rapid as Ed quickly made his way over to her, followed closely by Rick and Shane, who approached with their eyes wide and alert, knowing what was happening.

* * *

Daryl's jaw clenched as Ed repeatedly referred to him as trash, even more when Ed asked Carol if she to damn stupid to realize that Daryl wanted nothing more than to get laid.  
He watched them through the window, squeezing the gun in his hand, as he had been since he killed Jim.

He could see now why she didn't want him out there. His presence would just make it worse. This wasn't about him; it wasn't about him and Carol. This was about her and Ed, letting Ed think otherwise would be a mistake. Still he was ready to run out and end it all if he needed to. He was ready to do just that last night, but there was something stopping him and it wasn't that Carol had told him that she didn't want him to kill Ed. It wasn't the way she and everyone else was looking at him or pleading with him to stop. It was the kid in his arms that made him think twice.

He could feel her shifting in his arms, as the yelling started to disturb her sleep. But not enough to wake her. His mind considered the reasons why she seemed to have no problem sleeping through Ed's loud voice, when a deafening silence took over the whole camp.

He watched Ed lean in close to Carol and say something with a low voice he couldn't hear.

That's when Shane suddenly yelled out.

"Enough. Get in the car Ed. Now". Shane roared as his hand flattened out over Ed's chest and shoved him back .

He was silently willing Carol to move, she was to far away and it was making him nervous that Ed was still scowling at her.

She had done it, she had said what she wanted and told them all she was done, now she just needed to move. But still she stood still, her face pale and shocked by whatever Ed had just said to her.

He sighed heavily when Lori took Carol's arms, softly shifting her from Ed's direction and began walking her back to the RV.

He stood back and slightly tightened his arms around Sophia as they walked in. He stayed still and silent as Lori sat her down and began consoling her, telling her that they would all keep her safe. He could see in Carol's eyes that she was distant. Lost in her thoughts as Lori spoke.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be ok, even if he wasn't sure it was true. But he still didn't feel like he had the right to just walk up to her in front of people. Even though the whole camp had heard Ed's accusations and were probably wondering if something was going on.

Rick came in and walked past him to kneel in front of Carol.

"This is the right thing to do. It might be hard but we will get through this. All of us. Together".

Daryl had never heard Rick sound more like a police officer than he did right then. He wondered where this confidence came from, why no one had told Carol these things earlier. She was never told that they would all stand behind her if she wanted to leave Ed. It sounded like Rick was reading from a script that he had recently rediscovered. It sounded like a line he had told a hundred other women in her position, and the way Carol didn't find any comfort in his words made Daryl think she had probably heard the words and tone before. But the good intentions had never done her any good.

"We need to get on the road" Rick finally declared as he stood up and stepped back. Lori nodded pulling Carol close to her side once more before standing to follow Rick.  
He kept his head down as Rick and Lori made their way out of the RV and he didn't say anything to Glenn who came running through the door far to fast after Rick and Lori left.  
"T-dog's taking your truck. We loaded your stuff up" Glenn said, offering a smile as he made his way to the front of the RV to sit with Dale.

He looked at her sitting there alone and ignored his instincts to stay back. There was something he knew would make her feel better and he hopped it was enough to remove the crease from her brow.

He put the gun down on the table, before sat down beside her and slowly started to ply the kid's arm's from around his neck.

He picked the kid up and put her tiny form into Carols lap and watched the familiar soft expression sweep over her features as she curled her arm around Sophia. There was a hint of a smile on her lips that didn't match the tears drying on her cheeks, but it was a start.

She didn't look at him, instead she kept her eyes on the kid, her sights slowly tracing over the girl thoughtfully.

There were a million things he wanted to say to her but he didn't voice one of them. Instead he moved a bit closer to her. Close enough that her thigh was touching his. Enough to let her know that he was there and he was with her. He figured she understood his intentions, because she moved a tiny bit closer to him.

He watched them both as Dale drove the RV away from the camp. Focusing on Carols hands, how she held the kid gently with one hand and ran her fingers through Sophia's knotted hair with the other, slowly untangling the strands. He was sure it must have been soothing the kid, because just watching the action was enough to put him at ease. They were safe. Both of them. And every fiber of him was aware of that fact as he watched Carols long fingers move through Sophia's hair. It was enough to allow him to give into the exhaustion and finally fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

He had a vague memory of waking through the night and feeling all caught up.

The table that was fixed into the small booth was to damn close and there was no way of moving around it. He thought about giving up and laying on the floor, but the kid was half sprawled over him and rest of her was on Carol, he knew if tried to move he would waken them both up.

Andrea had offered to switch with them, but Carol knew Amy was not doing well after the attack and she didn't like the idea of taking the girls bed from her. He understood Carol's reasoning, but when he woke up squashed between Carol and Sophia, he wished she had have taken the offer.

He remembered sinking down until his feet reached the other side of the booth, so he was able to put his feet up on the seat. He wasn't comfortable, he felt squished and twisted. But he had been tired enough to fall asleep and accept that it was just going to be another uncomfortable night. It wasn't something he was unaccustomed to, not in the new world or the one before it.

It was a surprise to him when he woke up again and realized that he didn't feel quite so uncomfortable, that he didn't feel all caught up anymore.

He opened his eyes and looked down to see that Sophia had moved to to other side of the booth and had her head propped up on his leg, which he thought was a pretty bold choice considering he could have easily kicked the girls head in by accident.

Carol had moved to.

She had turned her body around so that her legs were on the seat and the rest of her was curled up on his chest. He had both of his arms closed around her, holding her in place and his chin was resting on her head.

Between the two of them, they had him trapped there in the booth.

He didn't take a single second to savor the warmth of her body pressed into his, because his first thoughts where that he didn't think Carol would be ok with this. He hadn't done anything to bring this on, not that he remembered, but he still felt guilty being in the position with her when he didn't know if she would ok with it. She had only dumped Ed's ass yesterday and she had barely looked at him since then.

He decided that he need to slide her off him, or find a way to slide his ass off the seat without kicking Sophia in the head.

"Alright. I guess this is the last stop" Dale called out, making Daryl flinch as Carol sprung up. Dales voice had woken her but what seemed to have her more stunned was her position on him.  
She looked down at the fabric of his shirt and her hands flattened over his chest. She looked like she was far to nervous to meet his eyes.

For a long minute neither of them moved. He was sure she thought that he had some how maneuvered her into the position. He didn't want her to think, even for a second, that Ed was right about him just trying to get laid.

He couldn't lie and say that he hadn't thought about it. He had thought about it far more then he would like to admit. But that wasn't what was most important here. Ed had hurt Carol, many times over, and now he had left those marks on his daughter, a kid who wanted nothing more then to ride her panic out in peace.

Truth was he wasn't sure what was going on between him and Carol. He had told her he wanted her, but she had never said she wanted him, she had only told him that he didn't know what he was getting himself into. She had kissed him back, but only for a few seconds and maybe he had even imagined it.  
He decided that it didn't matter, not right now. She was his friend and that was enough. It was enough for him to put everything else aside and focus on what was really important and that was keeping her and Sophia safe.

"Mornin" he muttered keeping his eyes down at the yellow lino that covered the floor of the RV.

Carol cleared her throat and looked over to Sophia who let out a groan at the disturbance.

They both watched the kid stirring and trying to force her body to rise up, against its better judgement.

The RV had stopped and they had both finally pealed themselves of him, but now they were starring at him in their sleepy states. He dropped his eyes back down and refused to look at either of them, but he could still feel their eyes on him.

He cleared his throat and slide himself of the bench. "Im'a talk to Rick. See what's goin' on"

He didn't know which one of them he was telling and they didn't know either, so they both hummed in response.

For some reason, unknown to him, he stuttered out a sound and rubbed at his neck nervously. He wasn't sure what words he was trying to produce and maybe that's why they never fully formed.

He wanted to explain himself and tell her he hadn't meant for them to wake up like that, but he didn't really have an explanation why it had happened. He quickly decided that anything he had to say would most likely just make it worse, so instead of saying anything he coked out another noise before fleeing the RV and the awkward silence that filled it.

* * *

As everyone slowly piled out of their cars, he made his way over to the small forming group that looked like they were surveying the new area. It was the type of thing he didn't really get involved in, but now he felt like he needed to be involved, he wanted to know what was going on and what their plan was.

Carol and Sophia emerged from the RV and instantly made their way over to Lori and Carl, with Ed watching them as closely as he always had.

He didn't draw attention to the fact that Ed was looking over at the Carol and Sophia and he honestly hoped it would go unnoticed by both of them. He didn't care for the way Ed leered at them and he doubted it would be nice to be on the receiving end of it, so he decided to ignore it, if they could do the same.

There was something, and he wasn't to sure what it was, about the way Ed eyed Sophia. It was very different to the way Ed looked at Carol.  
When Ed got his sights on Carol, he scowled and raked his narrowed eyes over her. It was more then enough to make Daryl want to cave Ed's head in.  
But when Ed looked at Sophia, there was a vicious smirk that fell over his face, and there was something about it that made Daryl's hairs stand on end and his stomach flip. He had noticed, more then once, Carol having the same reaction to the way Ed watched their daughter.

He stood with Rick, Shane and Andrea looking around the new camp site, while assuring he stole glances at Sophia and Carol every few minutes, just to assure himself that nothing had changed.

Rick had been the one who decided they would settle there, but he also assured them that they would keep looking for something better. Rick suggested, that when members of the group went on runs for supplies, that they would also keep an eye out for a safer place to live.

It was more then obvious to Rick now that they needed walls, but he didn't like the idea of dragging the group around the state to find them. Daryl thought that was easy enough to agree with.

There had been to much going on before they left the quarry, for him to pay attention to the fact that a number of people had gone off by themselves, choosing not to follow Shane and Rick any further then they already had.

What was once a group of twenty plus people, was now down to fourteen and he was pretty sure that less then half of them were able to fight.

Andrea seemed like she was more then ready to kill anything she needed to kill, even if it was just to keep her little sister safe. Amy seemed like a good kid. By looking at Amy, he guessed she was around eighteen, but when she talked she seemed a lot younger, and from what he had seen, she wasn't able protect herself.

Dale was able to defend himself, he was good with guns and had taken it on himself to keep an eye on Andrea, Amy and Glenn, though Daryl thought his watchful eye on Glenn was more as a friend then a protector.

Glenn was still just a kid, but he was ready to stick his neck out and he was also a slippery little weasel that could get himself out of any tight spot that he found himself in. No one needed to worry about Glenn. The boy fell into the small category as T-dog, Shane, Dale and Rick, that were more then able to defend the group and knew how to use weapons.

He in no way thought that Jacqui, Lori or Carol were unable to defend themselves if needed, it was more that they needed to be shown how and no one had taken the time to teach them.

The only three people he thought were more or less helpless against the walkers were Carl, Sophia and dear old Ed.  
Carl and Sophia had the excuse of being kids, Ed's only excuse was that he was chicken shit.  
When the quarry was overrun, even Carol, armed only with a shovel, had tried to fight. Ed who was armed with a knife and a gun had hid until the coast was clear, like the little bitch he was.

It made him nervous to think that out of fourteen people, only six were ready for what was ahead of them. And for all he knew, they were the last people left alive on earth. But it didn't feel like enough to survive against everything that threatened them.

Rick pointed out a spot close by where he thought they should set their tents up and explained that from now on, until they had the safety of walls, they should all stick close together, rather then spreading out like they had at the quarry.

The area was, without any doubt, better than the quarry. They were mostly surrounded by open space, so they hoped that they couldn't be overrun, at the very least they would have good warning before it got out of control. There was a stream nearby for them to use as they needed. It wasn't much, but it was a small upgrade from what they had.

As T-dog joined the discussion, Shane started talking about taking shifts through the night, something they should have been doing all along. He nodded along as Shane explained his ideas, trying to listen, while he watched Carol and Sophia out of the corner of his eye.

He thought, after this mornings awkward incident, that she was going to be pissed at him, or at least avoid looking at him. But that hadn't happened. Since she and Sophia emerged from the RV, she'd caught him watching her more then a dozen times and it only made her smile at him. He was pretty sure she was even let out a few laughs at his expense. He could handle that.

Shane and Rick were starting to wrap up the conversation when he had noticed Ed meander off behind the RV. Once Ed was out of sight Daryl noticed Carol make a quick move to grab her bags out of Ed's car.  
She quickly took her belongings back her spot by Lori and they quickly fell back into conversation.

He accepted that both Sophia and Carol were as safe as they could be and that he could relax for the time being. Carol was with Lori and she looked like she was happy to have the distraction of settling in to the new space. A few feet away, Glenn was kneeling down talking to Carl and Sophia.  
Sophia's expression was usually blank and often distant, but right now she looked like she was at least slightly interested in the book Glenn had given them. Rather then looking around nervously, which he assumed the girl was unable to stop herself from doing. Right now she flicked the pages of the book carefully and traced her small fingers over the pictures.

"Well, let's get set up. We can get everyone together a bit later on and come up with a solid game plan" Shane announced with a confident grin, before reaching out to smack Daryl's shoulder as he passed by.

The small group separated and T-dog weaved his way through them to reach him, looking as though he was in need of a good long sleep.

"Your bags are in your Truck. Crossbow too" He mumbled running his hand over his face in an attempt to wake wake himself up.

He thanked T-dog for driving his truck as they headed toward it and listened as T-dog jumped into a halfhearted chat.

He answered T-dogs questions about the old Ford as he sorted through the bags that had been dumped into the tray.  
He knew Jacqui had made the trip with T-dog, but he doubted that the belongings that had been crammed into the small space belonged only to the two of them.

"Should we get it all out?" he offered, ready to start unloading the bags when he heard the commotion behind him.

He had taken his eyes of the girls for no more than a minute when he heard Ed's voice raise up followed closely by Glenn and Lori's.

His head spun to see Sophia shuffling backwards in the dirt on her hands and feet, trying to position herself behind Carol as fast as possible.

He didn't yell out or get a weapon ready. Once he saw the look on Ed's face it was more than enough to have him moving in their direction.

Carol was apologizing to Ed repeatably. She had both her hands in front of her as she stuttered out her words, telling him that she '_hadn't realized she had taken it'.  
_He didn't know what she was apologizing for or what had Ed so angry, all he knew was what Ed was getting ready to do.

Daryl could see that Ed had his fist had pulled back, with the obvious intention of hitting Carol, but he never got the chance to make the move. Ed barley had more then a second to notice that Daryl was approaching because he'd been deafened by his own voice, that had grown louder and deeper before it was too late to react to what was coming at him.

Rather then throwing a punch at Ed, Daryl pounced forward and latched his hands around Ed's throat and tackled him to the ground. In the few second's he had a hold of him he took the opportunity to near choke Ed to death.

He knew it was less than a day since Carol had told him not to get in the middle of her and Ed's business. But he couldn't take much more of this shit from Ed.

Ed treated Carol like he owned her, like she was a disobedient dog that had gotten off its leash. He was going to hit her in order to pull her back in line. Ed needed a taste of his own medicine. If people really did need to be knocked around in order to be obedient, then he would beat the holy hell out of Ed and see if the prick could take the hint.

It was over. She wasn't Ed's to mess with anymore.

He wanted to hurt him, but more then that he wanted scare him. He wanted Ed to see just how easy it would be to squeeze the life out of him. It was only a few seconds before Rick, Shane and T-dog pulled them apart, but Ed knew now how simple it would be for Daryl to kill him if he had to.

He was panting and lunging forward, wanting to get his hands back on Ed again, but he froze still when Carol called his name. He looked over at her and growled in response before he put his hands up and stepped back, conveying to T-dog that he had no intention on making another move.

"What's going on" Rick demanded standing between them, using his hands to keep them at a safe distance from each other. Rick looked at Daryl for answers, but he remained silent, huffing and puffing, while keeping his eyes fixed on Ed's.

"He was going to hurt Carol" Glenn announced while Lori nodded firmly at his side.

"We told you to stay away from her Ed, we haven't even unpacked yet and your starting this shit" Shane groaned out, glaring at Ed as he held him in place.

"She took my tent. I'm not going to have some red neck trash sleeping with my wife in my-.."

"Fine" Daryl spat out before Ed could finish.

He quickly shook himself free from T-dogs light grip a knelled down, grabbing the tent bag that had caused all the chaos. He walked passed Rick and shoved the it firmly into Ed's chest .

"Take the god dam tent. But this ends here. You don't look at her and you don't talk to her".

For a second, Daryl could see the flash of fear in Ed's eyes, it was only a second before Ed reigned it in and glared at him again, but the fear was still there, lingering beneath his hardened stare.

Shane started to explain to Ed again that he needed to keep his distance from Carol but Ed's eyes were still caught on Daryl as he stepped back and headed towards his truck.

"You think she's yours now. Just like that" Ed growled through his teeth, catching the attention of everyone. He shook his head as he continued on his way back to his truck, not bothering to look back.

"All I know is she isn't yours Ed"

* * *

Carol and Lori stood by the RV while the kids went back to their book, though Sophia's interest had obviously changed. He noticed her fingers picking at the knee of her pants, pulling at threads as her eyes cautiously wondered around the camp.

Carol didn't watch him put his tent up with shaky hands, but he caught her attention when he silently walked over to her.

She stopped talking to Lori and froze as he gave her a nod and leaned down to snatch up her and Sophia's bags from the dirt. He didn't offer her any explanation and she didn't ask for one, she just watched as he took them over to his tent and put them inside.

Once he had put their things away he unrolled his sleeping bag by the tent's entrance and sat himself down on it. He then begin the process of shuffling through his bag and pulling out each item, one by one.

He ignored the sounds of her approaching. He didn't know if she wanted to talk to him or get something from one of her bags, so he decided to stay quiet and continue on with his search.

"What are you doing?" she asked standing over him, holding herself together, like she was going to fall into a million pieces if she let go.

He consciously refused to look up, deciding only to focus on his hands pulling out his belongings that had been packed away with care.  
She was upset, he could hear it in her voice. He was still far to worked up to deal with that right now. He was pretty sure if he looked up and saw her expression it would be enough to push him back over the edge, and he was likely to kill Ed if he was pushed any further today.

"Lookin for my smokes" he mumbled as he snatched out another shirt, trying to keep it neatly folded, something he was sure Carol was responsible for.

"That's not what I'm talking about"

He nodded and continued looking through his crap.

"Yeah, I know" he answered quietly, as he began searching the pockets of the pants he had just pulled out.

"Daryl..."  
He stopped with a sigh and forced his eyes up to see her fearful discomfort hanging over him.

"Are you just gonna sleep out here on the ground?" she asked, almost making him laugh.

"No, I'm not planning on sleeping out here" he confirmed, watching her brow crease in confusion to his answer.  
He shook his head lightly, "I'm gonna stay awake, keep watch" he added firmly, before she got the wrong idea about his intentions.

Her face softened at his answer and her body seemed to relax, even if it was only slightly.

He looked back down and pulled out another pair of pants to check. He heard her let out a rough sigh, making him uncomfortable.

"Front pocket" She said breaking the silence.

"What?",

"The cigarettes. I put them in your front pocket" she explained quietly as she turned and started making her way back to Lori.

He opened the front pocket on his bag to see the crinkled pack sitting there. A small grin passed over his lips as he looked up to watch her leave, his eyes needlessly lingering on her ass as she walked back to the RV. Even though though the voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to stop.

Daryl knew the discussion wasn't over, just by the tone of Carol's voice. She just didn't want to be standing there with everyone looking at her. As he pulled his eyes from her, he looked over to see that they were watching, even if they were pretending not to.

He growled a little to loudly at his audience before he ducked his head back down and quickly shoved his things back into his bag.

He didn't like being the center of attention and he didn't like being the source of peoples entertainment. But they didn't have TV anymore and he figured that what was happening between between him, Carol and her asshole _EX _husband was as good as they could get.

It was just something he was going to have get used to, or learn to ignore.

* * *

Carol was tired and Sophia had already begun drifting off, leaning into her side while she starred into the fire. She had overheard Daryl talking to Rick about taking watch at night. But other then that she hadn't heard Daryl say anything else.

He had taken his dinner from Lori with a forced smile and a nod, she had seen his eyes occasionally dart between her and Ed, especially when Ed moved from his position in front of his tent. But other then keeping a very close eye on her and her daughter, he hadn't moved or talked to anyone.

Daryl didn't really seem to be expecting anything from her. He seemed quite happy for her to go about her business on her own, as long as she appeared to be safe.

To her surprise, Ed did seem scared of Daryl. It wasn't that she didn't think that Ed didn't have reason to be, just that maybe he was to stupid to see Daryl as a threat when he seemed to think of himself as some kind of god among men.  
No, she didn't know what Daryl expected from her, just as she didn't know what she expected from Daryl. She hadn't expected him to jump in before Ed had the chance to hit her again. She hadn't expected him to have so much anger built up over something that she had become accustomed to, something that no one had ever physically tried to stop before.  
And she hadn't expected him to hand over his tent for her and her daughter to sleep in, while he assured they were both safe to do so.

The tent was waiting for her and Sophia to use as soon as she could work up the courage to use it. The idea of making her way to bed made her nervous and those nerves had nothing to do with Daryl sitting outside of of tent.

She could feel Ed's eyes on her every time she made the slightest movement, waiting to see what she was going to do. As if her getting into Daryl's tent was making some statement about her and Daryl, rather than just admitting she was tired.

She didn't know what was going on between her and Daryl. What she did know was that he was her friend and he was willing to help her. Daryl had seemingly made it his mission in life to keep her and Sophia safe, without wanting a single thing in return.

She had eaten dinner with the rest of the group. Throughout the meal she hadn't been able to stop thinking about when he'd kissed her. Even if the kiss had only lasted for a few moments. A part of her wished she had been braver that day, that she had of allowed her lips to linger on his for a few seconds more. But she wasn't brave. She never had been.  
In amongst the others chatting, she finally heard Sophia's faint voice beside her asking if they could go to sleep. She smiled and nodded as she took her hand, knowing she should have gone to bed earlier, Sophia was tired and so was she.

She had been dragging out the simple task of walking across the camp towards Daryl, mostly hoping that Ed would go to sleep first. Then she wouldn't have to do this in front of him and anger him more than necessary.

She said goodnight to the group and led Sophia over to their tent, knowing that Ed was watching them every step of the way and praying that he didn't decide that it was cause for another fight.

Daryl didn't look at them as they approached, he continued to fidget with his crossbow and steal glances at Ed. Daryl had been doing this all day and mostly she found that the looks were subtle, but right now they weren't. Right now Daryl's glances at Ed were threatening, as though he was using his eyes as a warning.

Sophia let go of Carol's hand and walked ahead to yank down the zipper making Daryl's head turn slightly in her direction. From the light of the fire Carol could see the two beds already made and their bags carefully placed in the corner of the tent.

Sophia paused and met Daryl's eyes.  
"Wont you get cold?" she asked cautiously, still gauging the man's reaction, as if she was half expecting him to snap at her.

Daryl shook his head and gave her a small confident smile. "I got the fire, I'll be fine".

Sophia accepted the answer and returned a hint of the smile that Daryl had offered, before making her way into the tent.

Carol knew everyone, including Ed was still watching but she decided to be brave, instead of falling asleep wishing she had of been.  
She knew that Daryl had been uncomfortable when he woke up this morning and found her laying all over him. He looked as though he was actually afraid of her, maybe he even thought she didn't want him to touch her. But that wasn't the case. She had been the one who crawled her way onto him when he was sleeping. She had been seeking out a more comfortable position and she had found one.  
She had avoided him all day. But she didn't want him to think that it had anything to do with him. She just didn't want to cause him or the group any more trouble then she already. And any attention she gave Daryl was sure to cause trouble. But right now she just wanted to give him some assurance, no matter how small.

Daryl's eyes had dropped back down to his crossbow, giving Carol a chance to get by him without any interaction, but she stopped at his side. She let her hand fall onto his shoulder and rest there.  
"Goodnight" she whispered, watching him tense and freeze from the light touch.  
She was a second away from taking the final step into the tent when she felt his warm hand cover hers.  
"Night"  
He barely breathed the word out before he gave her hand a light squeeze and slowly let it go.

She was overwhelmed when she crawled into the tent. The sweet grin Sophia was wearing was enough to make her heart flutter. Her daughter dropped almost playfully onto the bed that Daryl had made for her and she couldn't help but smile at the sight.

She had been so worried about Ed's reaction to her going into Daryl's tent, but she forgot that once she crawled into the small space, Ed would disappear, even if it was only for a short time.

For the first time, in a very long time, she wasn't afraid to close her eyes.  
She didn't have to wonder if she and Sophia were safe from Ed. That thought was only enforced as she watched Daryl's silhouette, created by the fire.  
She watched his body shift in the direction of noises, no matter how insignificant they seemed. His posture stayed stiff, showing her just how alert he was.  
There was a big part of her that felt horrible, she didn't want him to be put into this position. He didn't deserve to be dealing with all of her problems. He had been driven out of his tent and now he was being deprived of sleep. She would never have requested any of these things from Daryl or anyone else, but she was willing to accept anything he had to offer to ensure that Sophia was safe. She could also accept that this was what Daryl wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

In the early hours of the morning Glenn and Shane took over watch, relieving him and T-dog so they could get a few hours' sleep before the sun showed its self.  
Shane offered his tent up to him during the changeover but he declined the offer before Shane had even finished talking.

A week ago, he would have jumped at the offer, but now he knew how quickly everything could go wrong. He also knew he had no chance of sleeping if he wasn't working as a barrier.

Outside of Carol's tent he could lay down knowing they were sleeping soundly. He knew that if anyone or thing came close to them while they were asleep he would be wake up and be able to stop them. Just knowing that was enough to help him drift off in front of the warm fire.

* * *

It felt like he had only closed his eyes for a second when a high-pitched squeal woke him.

Instantly his heart started pounding, his body jerked up and his eyes scanned the area around him, so he could figure out where he needed to run to.

He instantly calmed down when he noticed the sound didn't disturb anyone else around him. He squinted through the bright morning sun to the direction of the noise that was now being repeated.

He had never heard Sophia make that sound before and he had never seen her face look quite so animated.

Carl laughed loudly as he held out the stick-insect for her to inspect, enjoying the reaction he was receiving from her.

Her finger nervously stretched out to touch its leg before she jumped back and let the squeals erupt again, followed by a loud giggle that looked like it was going to throw her off her feet.

He couldn't help but smile at the scene as he began putting his boots on.

He noticed Carol walking toward him while still looking over her shoulder at Carl and Sophia. He found himself unsure about watching her approach, so he dropped his head and kept his eyes on his laces, that he tying slower then was necessary.

She sat down beside him, her whole body obviously tensing as she did. He didn't have to wonder what had her so uncomfortable. He hadn't looked around for Ed but he knew the prick would be watching everything she did, just as he always had.  
But for some reason, it didn't seem to stop Carol from sitting next to him.

"Coffee"  
He turned his head and found that she was holding the mug out for him and he was pretty sure she had been holding out to him since she sat down, but he had been to nervous to look at her. He thanked her as he took the cup and followed her gaze to Sophia, who let out yet another squeak of excitement.

"She's never seen one before" she explained with a grin, as the sound of Sophia and Carl's giggles filled the camp again.

"Ya don't say" he chuckled, with a good dose of sarcasm, making a small laugh escape carol's mouth as she turned to look at him.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked, with small traces of a smile still left on her lips. It something that he had trouble taking his eyes off and for some reason it had him clearing his throat for no good reason.

"Just fine" he said quickly, wanting to assure her that he was still happy with his decision.

"How about you? Good?" he asked before she had chance to say anything else about his sleeping arrangements.

She didn't answer, but her smile grew slightly as she dropped her gaze down to her hands. It looked like she was remembering something and he desperately wanted to ask her what it was. Just so he could find a way to replicate the warm expression and make it appear more often, but didn't feel like he had the right to ask.

"We need to talk"

As the words left her mouth the pleasant expression disappeared from her face and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"bout what?" he asked curiously, taking another sip of the hot black coffee. He watched as she suddenly looked around them and he followed her, to see everyone, including Ed looking at them out of the corner of their eyes.

"Later. We can talk later" She stammered as she stood up without another word and made her way back over to Lori and Andrea, to finish washing the pile of dirty laundry.

He noticed that Carol seemed to do fine with ignoring the stares and he guessed she was most likely used to people gawking at her. Ed hadn't exactly kept their private life all that private and that had led to people watching her much more then the average group member.

He on the other hand was used to being completely ignored by them. At the Quarry, Carol was the only person who'd took the time to ask if he was ok, or get his opinion on anything.  
After his outburst over Merle's disappearance, everything only got worse. People went from ignoring him, to actually going out of their to avoid him.  
But since his arrival here, everyone watched him as though he had an arm growing out of his forehead.

What had him even more dumbfounded were the smiles he was receiving from Shane, Andrea and Jacqui. Every time he caught their eyes they grinned at him as though they were all old friends.

* * *

He walked around the outskirts of the camp picking up sticks when he saw Sophia heading towards him. She didn't talk to him when she reached him and she didn't question him when he looked over at Carol, wondering if she knew the kid had left her side.  
When he caught Carol's eye, her lip curved lightly before she went back to what she was doing and so did he.

The kid quietly followed him like a shadow, collecting her own small bundle of branches, only stopping when he did and only moving when he did.

When he thought he had enough, he turned to see her staring up at him.

"You need help carrying those?" he offered nodding to the sticks in her arms. She shook her head and stayed still until he started to walk back to their tent.  
He could hear her walking behind him, watching to see what he was going to do next, while he was still trying figure out why she was following him around to begin with.

When he got back to the tent he knelled and dropped the sticks on the ground next to the burnt-out fire, slightly turning his body to take Sophia's pile from her. He started to lift the sticks from her tiny arms when Ed suddenly yelled out Sophia's name across the campsite.

Ed was looking straight past him to the kid, making them both freeze in place. He looked up to see Sophia looking at him, like he was somehow in charge, like he was the one who could stop whatever was about to happen.

His eyes darted from Sophia over to see Carol, watching her move quickly in their direction with her hand out calling to daughter.

As he stood up he lightly pressed Sophia's arm, pushing her towards her mother, as he followed behind her.  
Sophia walked quickly and cautiously over to Carol, her eyes darting between her worried mother and Ed, as he marched across the camp to them.

His stomach twisted. He realized there was something he hadn't considered and that was the kid.  
He could keep Ed away from Carol, he was in his right to do that, she broke it off with him and Ed had to deal with that. But for better or worse, Ed was Sophia's father and Daryl didn't know what he was supposed to do with that.

He knew Carol wanted him to stay out of it, she had told him time and time again. And judging by the way she was looking at him, she hadn't changed her mind on the matter. So, he decided that he would stay calm, but he wouldn't stay out of it. But he couldn't bring himself to just walk away.

A surge of adrenaline suddenly rushed through him. Making him breathe so heavily that each gulp of air harshly hit the pit of his stomach, as his body began preparing itself for a fight. Even though he promised himself it would not take place, apparently his mind refused to believe him.

It only got worse when he felt a tug at the fabric of his shirt. He glanced down as he took the last few steps to Carol side and seen Sophia's hand gripping a handful of fabric. She used it to drag him in front of her. He followed the direction she moved him in, trying to shield her as much as he could. He knew Ed wouldn't like it, but he couldn't ignore the panic radiating from the kid.

As Ed approached, a wave of nostalgia swept over him, but he couldn't figure out why. The image of her tiny fingers twisted into his plaid shirt was running on repeat in his mind, as though he had seen the sight a thousand times before.

"What? I can't talk to my daughter?"  
Ed's loud and enraged voice echoed through the campsite and it made Sophia jump at his side, while Carol barely flinched at the sound, but he noticed her whole body stiffen.

Shane and Rick began making their way over when they heard the commotion, as they always did when Ed was fixing to blow up.  
He had to trust them to handle it, he repeated that to himself again and again, hoping it would stop his fists from clenching and his heart from pounding in his chest.

"Why?- What for? What do you need to talk to her about?" Carol stuttered with a shrug of uncertainty.

Daryl watched as Ed's eyes narrowed in on Carols.  
He pushed himself to stay still as Ed's hand raised to point his finger at her face, making it damn near unbearable.  
Every instinct he had was telling him knock Ed into the ground, but he ignored them, waiting for some sign that she wanted him to put a stop to this bullshit.

"You wanna run around like some whore with this Hick, you ain't taking my daughter with ya"

Daryl didn't have a chance to react to him calling Carol a whore, he didn't have time to consider anything, except the fact that Ed was now lunging between them both to grab Sophia. In that same moment Rick and Shane finally arrived to pull Ed back, but it was too late.

In amongst the brief squabble Daryl had reached down and yanked Sophia's tiny body of the ground, just as he had done before.

He barely had a moment to register what he had just done or that Ed was furious by act. Luckily Shane and Rick both had a good hold on him, while he continued to attempt to step forward.

"Ed calm down" Rick repeated, again and again.  
Ed roared at Rick and Shane for sticking their noses in where they didn't belong, while Daryl was still trying to figure out what he was meant to do. He couldn't bring himself to put the kid down. But holding her like this wasn't safe if Ed completely lost it and managed to break free from Shane and Rick.  
He had to get them out of here. They didn't need to be here for this.

He reached out to Carol with his free hand and curled his fingers into hers. She watched as his rough skin merged into the smoothness of hers, softly and calmly in amongst the chaos.

"C'mon"

He took a small step back as he tugged at her hand, hoping she would follow.

"Ya ain't gotta deal with this" he assured her.

He watched as Carol looked at Ed once more before she stepped back with him, following his lead.

"That is my family, not his" Ed growled through his teeth.

Daryl paused looking at Shane, who was still working to hold Ed in place.  
He knew how this looked, holding someone else's wife's hand, someone else's kid wrapped around his hip. But even with all of that, Shane just nodded at him, assuring Daryl he was doing the right thing,

"Go" Shane said, ignoring Ed protesting about the injustice of not being able to treat his family like shit anymore.

"We're going to talk about this," Ed called out.

He didn't know who Ed was talking to. He didn't know if he was talking to him, Carol, Shane or Rick and he didn't look back so that he could clarify. He didn't need to turn back to know that Ed was pissed and know that this was going to get worse, long before it got better.

He approached his truck, letting go of Carol's hand to open the passenger door for her. She didn't ask where they were going, she just got in. He carefully pulled Sophia from his hip and put the kid on her lap before closing the door, wondering just how mad she was at him for butting in, when he shouldn't have been there to begin with.

He didn't know what to say, so he stayed quiet while he started the truck and drove off.

He wondered if she had seen the empty jugs in the tray of the truck, maybe she overheard him tell Rick that he would get some more water when he had a chance. Either way, she didn't say anything. Even Sophia kept her focus to window, watching the trees and bushes go by as he drove down the trail, to the nearby stream.

He was happy they were so quiet, his mind fixated on the same thing, still wondering why the kids hand yanking on his shirt had him so confused.

Within seconds of stopping the truck he jumped out, without looking at either of them, even when he heard them both follow closely behind.

A mixture of self-loathing and self-doubt began to rise. He found himself replaying what had just happened in his head, wondering if he was messing everything up, wondering if he even had what it took to do anything but mess this up. But most of all he was wondering if she was thinking the same thing.

He began grabbing the empty water bottles from the tray of his truck when he realized she was standing next to him.

"Not too far" Carol called out, making him look over to see Sophia nodding as sat on the ground by the stream.

He watched Carol's hands reach out in front of him, helping him collect the empty bottles but even as they made their way over to the water he still couldn't look at her, worried that if he did he would see doubt in her eyes. The same doubt he had about himself.

He held the empty bottle in the stream thinking over the hundred other options he had today, rather than the ones he chose. He was lost in that thought when her voice broke through the silence.

"Sorry for making you do that." She said quietly, making him freeze in place.

"You move faster than me" she added as his head rose to look at her, his brow knitted in confusion.

His head shook slightly as his mouth fell open, releasing a few stammered sounds.

"I need to be smarter-I know that" she admitted.

Daryl examined her face, while he processed the confession. He could see the doubt he feared so much, but it wasn't directed towards him.

"I wasn't thinking that" he pressed softly, shaking his head, hoping his tone would assure her he as telling the truth.

The whole time he had been avoiding looking at her, he never thought for a second she was doing the same thing. That she was mad at herself and not at him.

"You're better at this than I am" she said ignoring what he had just said.

"at what?" he questioned her, feeling his brow scrunch even more, trying to understand what she was talking about.

"Protecting her" she said, meeting his gaze for a moment. Her mouth was curved into a soft smile that she was using to cover the torment she was feeling, but it wasn't working. He shook his head, rolling his shoulders in discomfort.

"You're a good mother Carol. Ya are" he said quickly, knowing it to be true. But again, she seemed to be ignoring him, as if anything he said was just an attempt to make her feel better.

He was stunned.

The expression on her face and the things she was saying, left him wondering what he was meant to do. And honestly, he wanted to stop this conversation, because it was too hard and he could feel it dragging him from his comfort zone. But with that thought, came the realization that he was the one who needed to be smarter, not her. He needed to do better, even if it was hard for him.

He reached out and lightly wrapped his hand around her arm, making her stop and look at him.

"You could've stayed with him. But ya didn't. Your keepin' her safe" he said firmly, letting his thumb graze gently over her arm as he spoke.

"Carol, I just wanna help ya - both of ya. Just tell me how-. Just let me"  
The words spilled out of his mouth without a second thought and even he was surprised that he could offer up what he was thinking so easily.

She looked from his eyes to Sophia, watching as her daughter picked up small stones from the dirt and tossed them into the water. He couldn't decipher what she was thinking as she starred at her daughter, but the crease in her brow let him know that something was wrong.

She let out a hard breath and nodded to herself, before finally meeting his gaze again.

"I need to tell you something".

* * *

Everything had quietened down at the camp by the afternoon. Everyone was going about their business as they usually did. He was going to walk around the camp area and see if he was able to spot some fuzzy little creatures to add to dinner, when Carol came and reminded him that there was something she had wanted to talk about.  
It had only been hours ago when he had woken up to the sounds of Sophia's excited squeal, when Carol had told him she wanted to talk to him. But it might as well have been days ago. To much had happened between. It had been the furthest thing from his mind, until she brought it up again.

"You can leave us for a few hours" Carol assured him, but he didn't respond.

He leaned into the side of his truck with his arms folded, listening to Carol and forcing himself not to interrupt, no matter how much he disagreed with what she had been saying.

"Especially if your not going to take your tent back."  
He nodded firmly at that, because she seemed to be eyeing him to see if he had changed his mind.

Apparently Lori had offered to cram Sophia and Carol in with the Grimes clan. Lori had made the offer after Ed had taken Carol's tent, when Lori assumed Carol and Sophia needed somewhere to sleep. But now they did have somewhere to sleep, they had the tent he had given them. He had no intention to move them out of it.

He didn't say anything, but he didn't like the idea of her staying with Rick. When it came down to it, he knew Rick would always protect his own family first and he didn't want Carol and Sophia to be anyone's second priority. He didn't want to be fighting through a crowd to get to them either. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened at the quarry.

She sighed heavily and he could have laughed at her frustrated expression. Maybe if they'd had this conversation earlier he would have been amused, but he didn't feel like there was a single thing on earth to laugh about right now.

"At least sleep in Shane's tent when he takes over for you."

She continued on and he let her. She deserved to say her piece and she deserved his silence so she could do that. But it was hard to give her his full attention when he had quietly put his foot down on the matter.  
In the end Carol could do what she wanted. If she wanted to stay with Rick and Lori then he wouldn't stand in her way, but he wasn't changing his opinion.

This morning, when she had told him they needed to talk, he knew what she wanted to discuss. He knew she didn't want him sleeping on the ground, he knew she felt bad for _putting him out_, as she put it. And again, maybe if they had have had this conversation earlier, it would have gone differently. He knew at the very least he would have been a more active participant in it. But he just couldn't bring himself to talk when he only had one thing spiraling through his head.

He had spent more time then he liked to admit, comparing people. He compared himself to Merle, compared himself to Ed, compared Ed to his father and his father to himself. The idea of the internal task was to look for similarities. To see if they reacted the same in similar situations, to recognize weaknesses, strengths and the evil traits. Sifting through things that had plagued his life, so that he didn't make anyone feel the way he had in the past. But as he stood there listening to Carol and keeping a closer eye then usual on Sophia, he realized that he didn't have anyone to compare Ed to anymore. Not after what Carol had told him.

He had always wondered about the way Ed looked at Sophia, but never enough to over think it and he never once considered this.  
But now that he had been told, it was all he could think about.

Finally, after what felt like hours, she was finished talking. Now she was looking at him as though she had pleaded a very good case. She had laid out valid reason as to why he should leave her and her daughter alone in the middle of the night, with no real protection.

He nodded, trying to give her some indication that he had listened.

He pushed himself of the truck and took a step closer to her as he shrugged.

"There ain't no way in hell."

* * *

Carol had offered to bring their dinner back once she had finished serving everyone. While he hung back and got their fire going. He was pretty sure she had pressed the offer in order to keep him away from Ed as much as possible.

He watched Carol as she prepared their plates, but put them aside when Sophia made her way over.

Carol quickly knelled down in front of Sophia, enough so that their eyes were lined up. He watched as her long fingers ran through the kid's hair, gently untangling the knots while she spoke to her.

He didn't wonder what they were talking about, he had a rough idea though. What he wondered about now, is what Ed was thinking as he watched them.

He had to convince himself how crazy he would look if he just walked over and tackled Ed to the ground, with seemingly no reason or warning. But damn he wanted to. He just wanted him gone, not just away from the girls, he wanted him away from all of them, every single person in the camp.

But it would go against everything Carol had asked him to do. She had a plan and she had an idea of how she wanted things to go. He had to be happy that she was letting him be involved and accepting his help.

He stood to his feet as the girls approached, taking his plate from Carol with a quiet thank you. It never went unnoticed by him, that she didn't seem to know how to take it when he thanked her. She looked uncomfortable every time the words left his mouth, but he had no intention of stopping.

The three of them sat in silence, knowing very well that everyone was side eyeing the change in the eating arrangements.  
Carol and Sophia had been eating with Ricks family since they arrived in the new space, then they'd stayed with them until it was time to go to bed. Except to say goodnight, he had barely even spoken to them.

He finished eating first, watching Ed out the corner of his eyes, knowing he was watching the girls. But unlike everyone else, he wasn't trying to hide the fact.

He was grateful Carol and Sophia had their backs to Ed and didn't see the way he was looking at them both.

He noticed Ed's posture suddenly change. While trying to figure out why, his eyes darted between Ed and Carol to see what had caused the change.

Ed looked as though he was ready to get up, but he was obviously stalling and waiting on Carol to make a move first.

He realized quickly that Ed had noticed them empty their plates and he knew that Carol would be on her way to rinse them and leave them in their usual pile.

Carol stood up and put her hand out, waiting on him to pass his empty plate. Without thinking he jumped to his feet just as Ed did.

Ed was slowly making his way over to the area that had been reserved for cleaning up the dishes, hoping that he and Carol would collide.  
He shook his head at Carol and reached out for her plate, as she was reaching for his.  
"I got it"

Carol seemed confused as he tried to ply the empty plate from her hand.

"I don't mind" she argued.

He smiled and continued shaking his head.

"neither do I" he said as he finally managed to steal Carol's plate, before reaching down to take Sophia's plate. Even Sophia looked oddly uncomfortable at the idea of him taking the dishes to clean.

He didn't look up to see Ed's reaction. He didn't have to see Ed to know that he had just screwed up whatever asshole game he had planned.

He walked over to the bucket of water and dumped the three plates in, keeping his eyes fixed on the task of cleaning them, even when he felt Ed standing next to him.

He forced himself to ignore Ed looming over him and kept his eyes down. It would have been nice to smash the plates over the pricks head, instead he grabbed the dish rag and started wiping the them off.

"You her bitch now?" Ed asked, low enough to make sure no one else could hear.

He stopped scrubbing at the plate, starring at his hands in the soapy water, before he forced himself to continue.

Internally, he shook the words off, he wasn't going to give the prick the satisfaction of reacting, when it was obviously the aim of the game he was playing at.

"You know she won't hang around long, she always comes crawling back. Always." Ed added, his voice low and rough, with far too much certainty. He couldn't help but let eyes drifted to his side as Ed spoke.

"And when she does" Ed added with a darker edge to his words.

Daryl's body straightened as he turned instantly to look at Ed, making him stop mid-sentence.

He looked Ed up and down, not allowing any expression to break through.

He waited. Quietly, he wanted Ed to finish his sentence, because if he was going to stand around threatening her, then fuck it, he was going to punch his head in.  
But nothing.  
Ed did nothing but glare at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. But he was still waiting for Ed to work up the nerve, to finish his sentence, so that he could react without anyone being able to hold it against him.

But still Ed seemed unwilling to continue.

He dropped his gaze from Ed's eyes and smirked, then shook his head while he finished up. "I better get back to them"

He placed the last plate onto the pile and took a step back from Ed who had narrowed his eyes in on him. He held the smirk that he knew was pissing Ed off and kept his eyes on Ed's.

Before he turned to leave, he tossed the dishcloth in to the bucket and nodded in it's direction."Clean ya plate Ed"

He had to be smarter, he had to be better than this. If something was going to happen, he wasn't going to be the one to start it.

He heard Ed grumble something under his breath, but he didn't hang around to see if Ed had something else he wanted to add.  
He didn't know Carol had been watching him, but he was happy that she had seen that he was able to walk away without causing a scene.

As he walked off, he wondered how Ed could be so sure that Carol would go back to him, he couldn't imagine her doing that. Not after everything that happened, not after everything she told him. But still he wondered why Ed seemed so damn sure of himself.

When he had talked to Carol by the stream and she had told him her concerns, he had managed to keep his voice down so that Sophia didn't hear him, but he had suggested to Carol that they leave. The suggestion had been more out of shock then any well thought out plan.

He knew Rick wouldn't just kick Ed out, not based solely on Carol's concerns. He knew it would be just another thing that would be swept under the rug. But in that moment he couldn't comprehend the idea of living in close quarters with Ed.

Carol seemed aware that he was merely reacting to the information she had given. She had let him rant and get it out of his system.  
In reality, he knew there was no way he could pack them both up and leave. It wouldn't be safe to do with Sophia. And Carol hadn't been shown how to defend herself against the walkers yet.

He needed the group to keep them alive. And knowing that he needed the group to survive, meant that he needed to assure that he didn't get himself kicked out. Because though Rick would let a lot things go, he doubted that Rick would overlook him killing Ed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was late when Ed finally stomped into his tent. He had maintained his infuriated demeanor all day, until he decided to finally drag his snarling ass out of sight.

Carol and her daughter had barely spoken all night, but he wasn't expecting them to be the life of the party after the long day they'd had.

Sophia had passed the time by flipping through a book while he and Carol stared into the flames, until he was sure he could feel it burning his eyes.  
It wasn't until Carol was getting Sophia ready for bed, that Shane and Rick started to make their way over and he did his best to disregard them.

He didn't pay much attention to the approaching officers. He was more interested in Carol's jacket that he had found on the ground. He stood to his feet after picking it from the dirt and dusting it of for her. He had only just handed it over when she had noticed Shane and Rick entering their space.

His brow narrowed when he noticed the nervous expression covering her face. He reached out to her, giving her arm a light rub, drawing her attention back to him.  
"It's alright. It is." he assured her quietly, before letting his hand drop back to his side. She didn't seem convinced, but she nodded and continued into the tent anyway.

He had told her he could help. That he would explain this to Rick and Shane as best he could. But no matter what Rick and Shane decided, he would help her keep the kid out of harms way.

He knew Carol still thought that she and Sophia were not his problem to deal with, even though he had signed up to help her with anything she needed. But finally she was starting to come around. She was starting to understand that allowing him to get involved didn't mean she wasn't a good parent and it didn't mean she was forcing him into something.

He wanted to give her anything she needed.

Right now, she needed someone to explain the reasons why she couldn't allow Ed to have contact with Sophia.

He was sure this was something she could explain much better then he could, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.  
She was so sure that blame would be placed on her, no matter how much he told her it wouldn't be. So sure people would see her as the bad mother that she already thought she was. Mixed in with all of that, was the chance that no one would listen to her.

That's when he assured her he would make them listen. He didn't care if it took all night.

* * *

He was sure there were better ways of saying his piece and explaining what had him so worried. Shane and Rick had listened to him, occasionally exchanging glances and slight nods with each other. They hadn't disputed anything Carol had told him, no one had said she was a liar or a bad mother. They simply took the information in and sat on it for a few minutes.

In the end, Shane and Rick assured him that they wouldn't let anything happen to the kid. They were going to deal with Ed themselves, tell him how it had to be.  
Ed wasn't going to be alone with Sophia and he could accept that or leave.

He had never asked what they were going to say to Ed, he never asked if they were going to bring up Carol's concerns.

Shane had argued, that the basic fact was, Sophia hadn't tried to see her father, she hadn't shown interest in seeing Ed at all. That was enough. No one was going to drag Sophia to Ed and make her talk to him. So Daryl assumed that's what they were going to lead with. He didn't care what they said, he just wanted it taken care of.

Once the custody meeting was over, and he had pleaded Carol's case, he chose himself a spot to start his night shift.

The space he had chosen for himself was near his truck, giving him a good view of Carol's tent when he looked over his shoulder and a clear view of the open space that surrounded the back edge of the camp.

Occasionally he would wander from his spot and have a closer look around, like Shane often did. Glen stayed in the camp grounds and patrolled closer to the tents. It wasn't ideal. They would have done better with a few dozen more people on the job, but right now all they could afford was three or four people on each shift.

He had been leaning into the side of his truck, having a smoke, when he heard something coming up behind him. He almost reached for his crossbow, until he realized who the light footsteps belonged to.

She made her way to his side, rolling on her heels and letting her body fall into the truck next to him. She was closer to him than she'd been in days and he watched as her hand reached out to his.  
She glided her fingers over his, slowly taking the cigarette from him.  
He didn't say anything, half wondering if she was going to chuck it, but instead she drew back on it a few times before offering it back in him.

He didn't ask, but he knew the question was in the expression he wore.  
"I quit when I got pregnant"  
He took back the smoke with a nod. He sucked back on it once more as she shifted a bit closer. He looked over his shoulder in the direction of their tent. Mostly seeing if anyone was around watching them. He knew he didn't have to worry about being caught with her, but the old habit forced him to check.

"She out for the count?"

She nodded and folded her arms over her stomach."Glenn's watching the tent, keeping an ear out for her"

He watched her as she answered, wondering why she wouldn't look at him.

"Well?" she asked keeping her eyes fixed down, quite obviously expecting bad news.

"It's taken care of, they said they would talk to him"  
From the corner of his eye he noticed her nod in response, but that was it. He could tell she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

There was still Ed's reaction to worry about, even if Rick and Shane said they would handle it, the guy was unpredictable and all they could really do is wait and see.

There was so much to worry about and he found himself feeling like an asshole. Even with all the crap going on, all he could think about was the bare skin on her arm touching his. Wondering how she manage to still smell so damn good, wondering if the smell would only intensify if he could find a reason to get closer to her. With that thought he shook his head and took another draw of the cigarette, trying to make the thought pass.

"What did he say to you?" she asked, his head turning at the sound of her voice, only to find she still wasn't looking at him.

"Who? Rick?" he questioned, unsure what she was referring to.

He watched her head shake and arms fold over her middle.  
"No. Ed. What did he say" She asked cautiously, as if she was expecting him to be angry.

He immediately began chewing at his lower lip, wondering how he should respond.

"I saw you talking to him after dinner" she added when he didn't answer, concern filling her voice.

He watched her closely for a moment and took in her stiff her posture and how nervous she was.

He knew then what he had to do. He needed to cut Ed out. What ever he had going on with Carol, Ed couldn't be in the middle of it.  
If he told her what Ed said, he was letting Ed in and he may never be able to get the prick out.

"It doesn't matter" he said cutting her off before she could finish. Deciding right there and then, that it didn't matter. Whatever did, or didn't happen when she was with Ed was her business. If she wanted him to know something she could tell him herself.

Slowly she turned her whole body to face him, a shiver running over him as her warm skin left his.

"Did he say-"

"Don't worry about it. Ain't nothin he's got'ta say that I intend to listen too."

Something changed the mood in the air, but he wasn't sure what he had said to make her smile.

"I should get back"

He hummed in response as she pushed herself of the truck. He expected her to leave right then, but when she didn't go straight away, he looked over, just in time to watch as she moved herself in front of him, making him freeze in place.

Her eyes were locked with his as she lightly pressed her body to his and took his face in her cool hands. He couldn't help but shutter at the feel of it, dropping the lit cigarette to the ground.

He responded to the touch by slowly sliding his hands onto her hips.

He couldn't help but smile back at her before she leaned forward to graze his lips over hers, before pulling back slightly to examine his reaction.

Without a second passing he pressed his lips firmly back to hers, feeling them part and her tongue meet his.

He gently pulled her hips closer to his, waiting to see if she had any objections. When he saw the light curve on her lips he started moving his hands up under then hem of her shirt, until her could feel the skin on her waist under his fingers, encouraging her to keep going.

When her mouth found his again, there was no urgency in the kiss, it was nothing like the kiss at the quarry. Maybe it only felt that way because she was the one who initiated it, maybe it was because he knew without any doubt that she was kissing him back. But it felt real. It didn't feel like a mistake or something that needed to be questioned.  
It was deeper than some stolen moment in the woods. It felt like they had all the time in the world. It felt like she could stand there kissing him forever, but she still she wanted to savor every moment of it. He lost himself in that thought.

It was never something he thought he was particularly good at, but he hadn't had many people who could offer judgement on his expertise.

He wasn't sure how long they had been standing there when she slowly started to pull her lips from his, releasing a deep breath as she did.

He loosened his grip on her hips and opened his eyes to see her face inches from his, smiling at him with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. He stood stunned as her hands slid down his neck onto his chest. He was breathing way to heavily and he was thankful that she wasn't doing much better.

"Try and get some sleep tonight" she said as she stepped back and his hands fell from her hips.

He nodded in response, not capable of much more.

He watched her walk away and started going through a mental check list of what just happened. Wondering what he had said that made her want to do that. Mainly so he could figure out a way to replicate the situation.

* * *

He woke the next morning, sure that he could still taste her on his lips, nothing on his mind except the thought of seeing her again. The thought of her had him putting his boots far to quickly and grabbing his crossbow without paying enough attention to where he was gripping it. The thought had him tripping over his own feet as he stumbled from his spot on the ground where he slept.

He could see her at the far side of the camp surrounded by piles of dirty clothes. She was alone, but doing the job of three people with ease.

The sight of the clean clothes made him realize he needed to take a bath or do something about the smell of dried blood and sweat that was coming off him in waves.

As he fumbled his way across the camp he noticed Ed, sitting outside of his tend shuffling through his bag. He tried to ignore Ed, even when he stopped what he was doing to watch him walk by.  
It was obvious by the extra layer of asshole that Ed was wearing on his face, that Rick and Shane had already spoken to Ed. So he made sure he didn't look in Ed's direction, so that he wasn't responsible for setting Ed of.

He decided to make a stop on his way to greet Carol, when Rick caught his eye.

Rick was sitting in the RV with both Carl and Sophia looking at a book with the kids. Both Sophia and Carl scribbled down answers to the worksheets that Lori spent time making for them. This was usually Lori's job, she spent a lot of time working with the kids, but right now Rick had decided that he would take over. He didn't have to ask why Rick had taken over the job today. The expression he had seen on Ed was enough to answer the question for him.

Daryl made his way up the steps, stopping in the doorway and leaning into the frame.  
"Good morning" Rick chimed, a little too cheery for his liking.  
Sophia looked up with an almost blank expression on her face, but he had grown used to seeing that. He could never quite tell if the kid liked him at all, knowing only that she would follow him around like his shadow if she felt uncomfortable. But he wasn't stupid enough to think that meant she cared for him in the slightest. Basic fact was he and the kid had never spoken more than a few words to each other. And when he thought about it, he had said even fewer words to her.  
He just didn't know what the hell he was supposed to talk to her about. And maybe that was the way she felt when she looked at him.

"Everything alright?" Daryl asked, watching as Sophia's sights dropped back down to the work she was doing. Rick nodded standing to his feet, taking a few steps to get closer.

"Seems to be" he added quietly, as if the kids couldn't hear everything.

"Well. What happened?" Daryl asked, watching as Rick looked over his shoulder in the direction of Ed's tent.

"Maybe, just stay out of his way for a while" he said with a shrug as he lowered his voice even more.

He nodded back to Rick, ready for the interaction to be over.

"Wasn't planning on anything else" he said quickly as he stepped back out of the RV to head over to Carol.

He was happy he had taken his time in walking over to her. He needed some time to sober up from his bumbling moron state. The last thing he wanted to do was act like an ass.

As he got closer her could see her examining a shirt closely, rubbing her finger over a spot on the fabric, so frustrated with the garment that her eyes actually rolled back.  
He was so busy looking at her expression, that it took him a second to realize it was his shirt she was holding, no doubt trying to remove a mixture of blood and dirt that had now fused with the fabric.

Instantly he felt annoyed and a little sick to his stomach. All the thoughts of the night before disappeared as he got close enough so he could reach out and snatch the it from her hands.

"Don't" was all that came out when pulled the shirt from her grips.

She jumped at the sudden movement and he felt like an ass for scaring her, but at the same time he couldn't bare the sight of her fussing over his shit.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

He didn't know what to say to her, or how to explain the reaction, so he didn't try. Clutching the shirt in his hand, he stormed off into the woods.

He heard her call after him, but he didn't stop.

He didn't want to explain to her, how much it pissed him off when he used to see her running around with Ed's clothes, like she was his servant. He didn't want to explain that he was not looking to take the pricks place as master and commander. A part of him knew he was being irrational, but right now it was hard to reign it in.

He walked out far enough so that he couldn't see the camp, dropping his crossbow onto the ground before he started pulling his shirt over his head. He was out here, he might as well get changed. In the same moment that he realized the shirt he had taken from Carol was still filthy, he heard steps coming from behind him.

He spun around to see Carol cautiously looking him. Keeping her eyes locked on his, as though she was forcing herself to keep them from straying anywhere else.

Sooner or later she was going to see them, he just would have preferred later. He folded his arms around his stomach and found himself stepping back as she stepped forward. His gut flooding with embarrassment and shame while he wondered what she was thinking.

She smiled warmly at him, extending her arm out with a clean folded shirt in her hand. "That shirts dirty"

He stepped forward and gently took the shirt from her with nothing more than a nod.

"You should change in the tent. It's not safe doing it out here" she said casually, as she turned to leave.

He watched as she walked away. Thankful she didn't want to talk about it. Wondering why she didn't look surprised or shocked. He was fairly sure she had seen them before and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He put the clean shirt on and picked up his crossbow, thinking how he had only been awake for 20 minutes and managed to fuck the entire day up.

He planned to walk right passed her, looking in the other direction as he did. But when he got to the edge of tree line he saw her standing alone. He still wanted to touch her and be near her. That hadn't changed. He thought about the look in her eyes when he spun around to see her in the woods, there was no pity in her there, no disgust or even confusion.

He remembered that day he saw her wondering up the trail alone, marks on her arms and tears in her eyes. He didn't need to know what happened in detail, he just knew. Maybe it was the same for her, when she had seen the marks covering his body. She knew him, maybe she could see that part of him way before he revealed it.

He didn't want to be compared to Ed, not in any way shape or form, so he decided to do the one thing Ed wouldn't.

He walked over to her side, taking a pile of the dirty laundry in front of her and started folding. He could feel her eyes on him and he took a deep breath as he forced himself to talk.  
"Sorry" was all he said, seeing nothing but the sweet smile he had been thinking about when he woke up.

She pressed her side into his, making him sway and smile back at her.

He found countless reasons to touch her and brush his body against hers, even a few ways to make her laugh, it was more than enough to make him decide to help her with the laundry more often.

He was having thoughts of tossing the clothes on to the ground, so he could take her, right then and there. He looked up to see who would be in the audience of the display when he noticed Ed smugly smirking at him.

He knew what Ed was thinking, he had already called him her bitch when he was washing a few plates, so it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going through his mind now. But fuck it, he didn't care. He found he couldn't think about anything but her and the things he wanted to do to her.

* * *

She had been watching Sophia and Carl closely while she mended clothing that had been ripped and torn.  
The ball that the pair were enjoying was obviously meant for children much younger then they were. It was the kind of ball that was found in supermarkets for a few dollars, but it gave them something to do.

The clearing was where Carl and Sophia spent a lot of their time playing, it was the only place they were allowed to venture to alone, because they were still in plain sight of everyone and it was one of the safer spots in the camp.

For most of the afternoon they had been kicking the ball to each other and she knew Sophia was enjoying much more then anyone would expect.

Sophia had never had many friends and she had never been able to spend her time playing the simple games that most children took for granted.

Her heart sunk for the girl when Carl was called away from the game by Lori and Rick, who planned to take Carl to the stream to clean up and fetch some water.

Sophia smiled widely at Carl as he left, but once the boy met up with his father she watched as Sophia's smile faded away.

Sophia looked down at the ball in her hands and pressed her fingers into the red rubber and for a few minutes she looked rather lost.

She was to busy with the clothes and soon she would be busy preparing dinner. She didn't have much to offer her daughter that would be entertaining, but she thought at the very least she could call Sophia over and talk to her while she worked.

Before her lips could even part to call out to her, Daryl was lazily making his way over to Sophia.

It was no secret to anyone that Daryl didn't really know what to do with Sophia. Neither he or Sophia were known for their conversational skills and for the most part she could tell that Sophia made him nervous.

He drew back on the cigarette and tucked his free hand into his pocket, as he took Carl's place across from Sophia.

She didn't see any words exchanged between the two and she doubted that Daryl was eager to kick a ball back and forth, but still he was there.

He nodded his head to the side, giving Sophia the only indication she was going to receive from him, that he was ready. There was a slight curve on Sophia's lips and she dropped the ball back to the ground and kicked it over to Daryl.

It was an odd sight to see.

It was as if neither wanted the other to know that they were enjoying the quiet back and forth.  
Occasionally Sophia would kick the ball to hard. It would fly passed Daryl and he would smirk at her and Sophia would return it.  
There were times when Sophia didn't kick the ball hard enough and Daryl would have to walk forward to meet it. But Daryl drew no attention to something that Sophia obviously considered a failure.

She couldn't help but laugh to herself at the sight of Daryl. The man who people had actively avoided because they feared for their safety. People who were waiting for him to have some kind of violent episode, because he was so _unpredictable_.  
Yes, the possible danger to the group, was playing kick ball with her daughter. No one had asked Daryl to do it, he had no reason other then the fact that he had wanted Sophia to continue enjoying what was left of her afternoon.

* * *

He'd been on watch in his usual spot for a few hours when he heard her approaching.

Doing the laundry seemed to have worked as some messed up four-play, because as soon as he saw her coming he chucked the cigarette to the ground and headed at her.  
There were no pleasantries, no conversation, no confusion about why she was there and what she wanted.  
There was only a harsh collision of their bodies, mouths, and hands.

He didn't know what came over him, he just knew he had wanted her all day and now he finally had his hands on her.

A growl erupted in his chest and he pulled away for a second to grab hold of her thighs a lift her up, moving her back until she was wedged between him and his truck.

Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist, her fingers twisted tightly in his hair and her tongue ran over his.

He was sure they looked like a pair of horny teenagers going at it, but he also knew she only had a few minutes before she would have to get back to the camp. He wanted to make the most of it, by getting as much of her as he could.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **I thought I would just point it out here that there is roughly a two week time jump between this chapter and the last. There are quite a few time jumps that will occur later on, but I will point them out so there isn't any confusion.

* * *

**Chapter ****8**

Each night had been the same.

Her quietly arrival to the spot where he took watch had become something he expected. At first, he hadn't wanted to assume she was there to jump him, like he wanted to jump her. But now, when he heard her approaching, he knew with out any doubt what she was sneaking over to him for.

After a few sessions of the "meet ups" he began to maneuver her to the cab of his truck. It was safer and he would like to say that that's what led them there, but that would assume he was thinking clearly. If he was being honest though, it was more about getting her alone, and getting her as close to him as he could.

Some nights, when his mouth was trailing down her neck, he found himself wondering how he got here in such a short space of time.

He spent his days wishing he could reach up and drag the sun down, just so he could get some more time with her. The simple kisses and touches that were driving him crazy, were without any doubt, the best part of his day.

As usual the only thing that covered them was the darkness the night brought, but even that was interrupted by the few fires that were still burning in the camp.  
It wasn't exactly a private meet-up. It never was. Glenn stood near their tent, to keep an ear out for Sophia and Shane was close by on watch. But it was easy to forget that they weren't alone.

She straddled his lap while her hands rubbed over his neck, into his hair, down his face and on to his shoulders. Never stopping for more than a second. As if her fingers were trying to memorize every bit of him that they could before she had to leave.

Her hands usually stayed above his shoulders, his stayed on her waist and back. He never strayed much from the places she seemed comfortable with. Any time her hands became a little more adventurous, he would follow her lead, and when she pulled hers back, he did the same.

He wanted to take things further, but it was more then obvious that she wasn't ready for that. And that was just fine.  
Just being alone with her meant peace, even if it was only for a few minutes. It made the paranoid thoughts in the back of his mind become nothing but a whisper. He could barely hear voice that told him he was going to fuck everything up, or that he wasn't good enough to have it in the first place.

After twenty minutes or so, he could feel her slowing her pace. Her hands were moving more gently over his shoulders than they had seconds before. He knew what it meant.

He followed her lead, letting his palms graze over her back and down to her hips, to where he rested his hands. He enjoyed the last few seconds of her lips pressed to his, before he let his head drop back to watch her.

He watched as she steadied herself and pulled away, unable to take his eyes off her face. There was a light glow from her skin and he could only slightly make out her features as she paused and looked down at him, but it was enough to see the lust that still lingered there.

He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin.

He had reasoned with himself, that he knew her long enough to want her, to care about her, even long enough to let himself need her. But what he wasn't sure about, was that he had known her long enough to love her.

He looked at her and wondered what would give him the right to feel this way.  
Was there an appropriate amount of time that needed to pass?  
Did he need to screw around with her first?  
Was he meant to wait for her to say it? Would he be allowed to feel like this way if she gave him some kind of permission to?  
None of it seemed like enough. None of it seemed like it would make him worthy of being allowed to love someone like her. She was to beautiful, to kind, to warm. To good for him.

He felt like he needed to give her something, something big and valuable, but he didn't have anything to offer.

All he did know, was that he loved her. And the idea of it was horrifying and yet somehow more inviting than anything. It tore at something inside, because he was sure he simply didn't deserve her and sooner or later, she would realize it.

"You ok?" she asked as she studied the worried look on his face.

"I'm just fine"

As he answered, knowing that was very the problem. He was more ok than he had been in a long time, possibly more than he had been in his life. And he didn't know if he could cope with the loss of something so consuming.

There was still the chance that he would fuck it all up and he would have to deal with the aftermath of losing this contentment. And then the knots would return to his stomach, only this time they would twist in place and cement them self into a position that they would never untie from.

* * *

The new routine since their arrival at the new camp was much like the one he had at the quarry. Only now he never strayed to far from the camp. The hunting trips, that led him away from the group for the entire day or possibly two, had been put on hold. But he knew that his constant presence at the camp had not gone unnoticed.

He stayed close enough that he could still hear the slight buzzing of the voices and with the knowledge that he could return in minutes, if he had reasons to believe something was wrong.

The problem with the new routine, was that he wasn't able to bring back anything substantial. He could round up something to add to dinner, but it wasn't enough. Their supplies were running low and though he'd heard that a group would be going out to scavenge what they could, he knew he would also have to begin the long hunting trips so he could contribute more.

He collected up his crossbow and scanned the camp for Carol, as he did each afternoon. He didn't have to approach her or explain where he was going, he simply made eye contact with her and gave her a nod. That was enough to let he know that he was leaving, but wouldn't be long, or far away.

As he steeped away from the tent he looked to the usual spots where he would find Carol, but before his eyes settled on her - they found her daughter first.

Carl had been with her only moments before, but now she was alone, flicking through the pages of a book. Her free hand plucked at the few remaining threads that covered her knee and he struggled not to roll his eyes.  
The camp was busy and the quiet girl seemed to get lost in the scenery as everyone went about their business. The only people who seemed to have their eyes on her was Ed and himself.

Ed leaned into a tree while he had a smoke, his eyes were fixed on the kids back. It was more then enough to make Daryl's skin crawl.  
He watched as Ed rolled on his heels, moving towards Sophia. There was enough space between them, that Ed would have to take more then a few dozen steps before he reached her. But it still made his breath hitch and his heart suddenly race.

"Sophia"

The kids head snapped up, curiously looking at him. Her name fell out of his mouth before he had a chance to consider what he was doing.  
He didn't know if Ed was heading over to her or not, but he wasn't going to stand around waiting to see.

"Can ya-… give me a hand"

She didn't seem to need any more than that. Sophia jumped to her feet and dusted herself off before making her way over to him.

The lanky kid made him nervous as always, even as she walked over he noticed her checking around for danger and rubbing her arm anxiously.

She always looked at him cautiously, as if she thought he was mad at her. Wondering if she actually thought that, only made him even more uncomfortable. But none of that made him nearly as nervous as the thought of leaving her alone.

He slung his crossbow on his back, as the girl reached his side.  
He glanced back in Ed's direction, noticing he had stopped in his tracks. There was no way of telling if he had interrupted Ed before he could reach Sophia, or if he was just pissed because he always seemed pissed when Sophia followed around after Daryl. Either way, he didn't really care. He needed to go and check the snares and he wanted to do that knowing that both Carol and Sophia were safe.

* * *

Carol had smiled at him and waved Sophia off, before they left the camp.  
They weren't going far away, but he still didn't understand how she always seemed so confident in his ability to watch out for the kid. She didn't even question him.

There were very few hours in the day when he didn't have Sophia following him around. She ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with him, got water with him, she collected firewood with him, she hung around while he helped Carol with dinner.

There were really only three times a day when he was assured that she wouldn't be stepping on the backs of his heels. In the mornings, Lori sat both the kids down and attempted to school them, then in the early afternoon Sophia and Carl usually retreated to the clearing to play. Then there was the time that he spent hunting down game in the surrounding area, while checking the snares. That was usually the time he spent without hearing her lingering behind him. Only now he had basically dragged her along with him, because he didn't feel comfortable leaving her behind.

He could have sent her to go and sit with Carol while she worked, but he wasn't sure if that would make things worse with Ed.  
Right now, Ed was directing his anger at him and he was fine with that.  
It could appear to Ed, that it was Daryl's fault that he wasn't allowed to be near Sophia. He worked as a body guard for the girl, but sending her to Carol could ruin the conclusion that he was sure Ed had come to.

"You don't really need help do you?" Sophia asked quietly as he released the rabbits corpse from the snare.

He looked up at her and examined her face.

The kid wasn't stupid and she spent enough time scanning the area around her to know when she was being watched and judging by the bothersome look on her face, she knew exactly why he had brought her along.

He shrugged as he stood back up and stuffed the rabbit into his pack with the other.

"Extra set of eyes never hurt"

Sophia nodded, but he could tell she didn't accept his answer.

She didn't ask anymore questions or speak another word, she simply followed him quietly, as he was used to her doing.

The rhythm of her feet treading the dirt continued on without interruption until they arrived back on the outskirts of the camp.  
He turned back to her when he couldn't hear her light footsteps anymore and found her wide eyes looking up at him.

When he looked around and caught Ed's annoyed eyes fixed on Sophia, he knew why she had stopped. But there was nothing he could really do about it. He had no intention of leaving the kid alone if he thought she wasn't safe and Ed would just have to suck it up and get used to it. That was all he could hope for, that Ed would move the fuck on. Or that he would meet his demise on one of the trips he took to scavenge for food and supplies.

"It's alright. C'mon" he mumbled, waiting for her to take a step before he turned to walk back to their tent.

He heard her quicken her pace until she was by his side, so close that her elbow was bumping into him as they walked.

Ed's eyes were locked on them as they approached. He wondered for a moment how he would be able to fight with the kid so close. He hoped she had the mind to get out of the way if anything happened.

Ed's outrage seemed to be rising to the surface as he and Sophia got to their tent, making Daryl pause and wonder what was about to happen.

Suddenly, the canteen Ed was gripping was suddenly tossed to the ground.

He heard Sophia's sharp intake of breath and felt her grab at his shirt and attempt to yank him in front of her.

It took the kid a second to realize that Ed was leaving and not coming at them. But in that moment, he knew exactly what the tensed tiny digits that were hanging onto him reminded him off.

He had flashes of watching his own hands do the same thing. He remembered grabbing a hold of Merle, as if he was a shield. And he remembered the feeling he had when Merle was gone and he had nothing to hold onto anymore.

Even as her fingers untangled themselves from the fistful of fabric, he was still stunned by the concept. He was a shield to her,he knew that, he'd always known that. What he couldn't figure out was why Sophia knowing that irritated him.  
Nothing had changed, he'd protect her from anything and everything, that's what he had signed up for.

So didn't know why bothered him that she knew that.

* * *

"He's a fuckin lunatic."

She could tell that Daryl needed to get this of his chest. He needed to off load his frustrations and as far as she could tell he didn't have anywhere else to that.

Maybe once this had been Merle's job. Maybe Merle had let his brother blow off steam by listening to whatever was on his mind. But now Merle was gone, possibly dead, and as far as she could tell Daryl didn't really talk to anyone else.

He spoke to people, she had seen that. He spoke to Shane, Rick, T-dog and Glenn. But she had never seen him offer more then a few words, before he decided he had said enough.

"He's known for his temper, not his patients." She added, urging him to continue.  
She could see that he was getting frustrated and that he was angry, but other then giving him an ear to complain to, she didn't really have much to offer.

"He's known for havin a damn screw loose." Daryl grumbled as he passed her the tray that held the rabbits she was going to add to the stew.  
She kept working while he got to his feet and looked over to where Sophia and Carl were playing, as he did every few minutes. She heard him mumble something but didn't catch the words.

"Maybe I should talk to Rick again. Or Shane? He seems like he might actually give a shit" He said while leaning into the table alongside her, lowing his voice so that anyone near by didn't hear their conversation.

"There's nothing they can do Daryl. You said it yourself, even if they kick him out, it might not be a safest plan. Who knows what he could do."  
He folded his arms and looked back over to where Sophia was before offering a grunt, rather then responding.

She knew that Sophia spent a large portion of her day with Daryl, while she went about the chores she had assigned herself to. She had offered to keep Sophia with her more often, but Daryl had told her that he didn't mind Sophia following him around. Daryl had told her that Sophia didn't bother him or pester him, she listened to him and she did as she was asked, so he didn't see any harm in having her with him.

She hadn't pressed the matter and she was quietly happy that he felt they way he did.

The truth was, she felt like Sophia was safer with Daryl then she was with her.  
He was stronger, quicker and much more vigilant then she was.  
She also thought that during the times when Ed seemed to be getting angered by the new arrangements, he would have had no problem approaching her. But he seemed to be intimidated by Daryl and obviously thought twice before acting on what ever was stirring inside of him.  
And if Ed did decide to approach her, she would prefer to know that her daughter was somewhere safe.

"He ain't done nothing while we were gone? Didn't say nothin to ya?" Daryl questioned, misreading the expression she knew she was wearing.

She look over to him a smiled, how could she not. She'd never really had anyone so concerned about her well being or her feelings.

"He didn't say anything to me. He hasn't said a word to me in weeks. It's been nice"

Daryl nodded and his face softened.

He looked satisfied with her answer, it seemed like maybe it had eased his frustrations slightly.

"Still wanna head down there tomorrow?" he asked, craning his neck to look into the pot, before settling back into the table that he was almost sitting on.

"If you don't mind"

Daryl shook his head and shrugged lightly."Nah, I don't mind. If you can squeeze it in, I'm happy to take ya"

"_Squeeze it in_?" she echoed while searching the table.

Daryl chuckled lightly and looked down over his shoulder at the table."Busy. Always busy." he said as he snatched up the can opener she had been looking for and passed it to her.  
He raised his brow as she took the can opener, as if he was proving his point. She couldn't even have a proper conversation about being busy, because she was to busy.

"I'm just doing my part" she pressed as she began twisting open the can.  
"Your part" he nodded while rolling his eyes in her direction. "Maybe a few other peoples to"

Daryl had voiced to her, more then once, that he wanted her to delegate some of the chores she did to other people, because he thought she did to much, much more then he had noticed the other people in the group doing. But she had always brushed him off and told him not to worry about it, because she didn't mind.  
She was used to doing more then the people around her and she was used to doing it without complaints. A decade of being Ed's wife had taught her as much.

Daryl, Shane and Glenn were on watch through the night. Andrea, T-dog and Rick took over for them in the early hours of the morning, then Dale filled in the gaps though the day. As far as she was concerned they were doing their part.

Amy tried to help but Carol found that the girl, more often then not, got distracted. Lori spent a some time with the children in the mornings and then usually was there to help clean up after meals, but it was more then obvious that Lori was also quite distracted.

She never pushed Lori to help out more. She was mostly waiting Lori out, to see if Lori was going to admit that she was pregnant.  
She wasn't sure if anyone else knew and Lori was definitely trying to hide it. But she couldn't hide it from Carol. She had just watched Lori enough to know that the signs were all there.

That left her and Jaqui to bare the brunt of the chores, but unlike Carol, Jaqui was not going to run herself ragged when she could see that no one else was putting in as much effort. She often joked to Carol that if she stopped caring about getting everything done, then maybe some of the others would start to care.  
But it just wasn't how Carol was programmed. If something needed to be done, she would rather just get it done then be concerned about the injustice of her having to do it.

* * *

There was a small little window of time, long after dinner and right before Carol decided that it was time to take Sophia to bed, where Sophia would come close to crawling over Carol completely.

Sophia spent her evenings by the fire with him and Carol, usually with something to occupy herself, until she decided that she simply wanted to curl up on her mother like a cat.  
For the most part he pretended to ignore it, because he didn't want to interrupt the nightly ritual.

He had no memory of ever draping over his own mother the way Sophia hung herself over Carol, and maybe that was why he engrossed in the action.

Carol didn't just welcome the girl into her arms, she encouraged it. She was just as happy for the quiet moment with her daughter as Sophia was.

From what he could tell, Carol had a never ending supply of affection to dish out and she seemed to hand it out without much thought.

He knew eventually Carol would take the kid to bed. Not long after, he would leave them to go on watch, just as soon as he noticed Shane and Glenn make the move to start the rounds. Then later Carol would join him and he would take a break from starring into the darkness and crawl into the cab of his truck with her. Though the affection she gave to him was obviously different from the kind she offered Sophia, he still marveled that she had it to give. A part of him waited for her to be tapped out, that she would have to run dry and have nothing to offer him.  
He didn't quite understand how she could be so warm, when she had been through things that worked to make you cold. He guessed it was just in her nature and it wasn't in his.

He gave as good as he got while he was with her in his truck, but there was no denying that it was something that he was still struggling to be comfortable with.  
It wasn't that he ever disliked the way she touched him or looked at him, it just felt like something foreign to him. But each night it got easier to accept with out any thought.

As Sophia's body started to slump lifelessly, Carol turned her head towards his and smiled lightly.  
"See you in a bit?"  
He nodded and returned the smile, offering a goodnight to Sophia while her mother began directing her towards the tent.  
He could never hear exactly what it was that Carol told Sophia each night when they were in the tent, but he always heard the soft murmurs from Carol and sometimes light giggles from Sophia.  
He couldn't understand how Carol could ever think she was a bad mother when she was the best he had seen.

* * *

People often took a pot of warm water into their tents to wash up, but it was never quite enough to satisfy Carol.

He had offered, weeks ago, and she had accepted, that he keep an eye out for her and Sophia while they wash up down at the stream. It wasn't something they did daily, only when Carol had told him she felt disgusting.

She didn't smell bad to him, she didn't look like she was any worse for wear. He figured it was mostly in her head and she needed to soak her self from head to toe, to erase the idea that she was covered in an invisible muck.

He would do a check of the water, to make sure nothing had wondered in there that might be dangerous. Luckily the water was clear to the bottom and it was easy to see if any walkers had made their way in.

When that was done he got out of their hair and gave them as much space as he felt was safe to give them.  
He stood with his back to the stream, giving them as much privacy as he could. Carol kept a close eye on the spots he couldn't see while he watched the area that surrounded him.

He could hear Carol and Sophia talking, occasionally splashing that was followed by a quick burst of laughter. There was no denying that both Carol and Sophia were happier away from the camp. Or, more to the truth, when they were away from Ed.

What he had noticed more and more as time passed, was that when they were happy - he was pretty damn happy himself. Because if they were cheery or even content, it was a pretty good indication that he was doing a decent job, that he was doing what the hell he had set out to do. And maybe that was why he felt like such a failure when they were obviously unhappy.

"We're done" Carol announced. He turned to give her nod, just to let her know that he had heard her, but kept looking around while he waited on them.  
They both made their way over to the truck. Carol followed closely behind Sophia, still attempting to dry the girls hair, though it seemed plenty dry to him.

He sucked down the last few drags of his smoke and inched his way over to the drivers side while Carol continued fussing over Sophia.

"Can I ride in there?" Sophia questioned him, eyeing the back of the truck while Carol finished ruffling the girls head with a towel.

"The tray?" he guessed, not sure if he understood her.

Sophia nodded, her eyes still looking at the dirty space in the back of his truck. "Yeah. The tray"

"Why?" he asked, creasing his brow as he wondered if there was some reason she thought it needed to be done.

"Might be fun" Sophia pondered with a slight shrug.

He chuckled lightly and shook his head. "Hell, how bout I strap ya to the roof."

Sophia's eyes looked from the roof to him, in a moment of serious contemplation, before her nose scrunched up at him.

He turned his head to Carol, finding her biting her lip to stop herself from laughing. "Got enough rope back there. You want me to tie ya down to the hood"

Carol laughed and shook her head. The idea he had conjured seemed to be enough to pull a small giggle from Sophia too, but when he looked back to her he had only just caught what was left of it.

"You could just say no" Sophia said, trying to feign annoyance with him.

He nodded.

"No" he added clearly while grabbing a hold of her and lifting her into the truck. He had seen the kid trying to climb in without his assistance and he was sure she would eventually hurt herself if he didn't help her along.

As they piled into the truck they grew quiet once more.

He wished, as he always did when they left the stream, that he had the ability to split himself into ten people. Then he could drive all ten versions of himself right passed the camp and not look back,

There would be enough of them to make it on their own.

Then he wouldn't have to know that their whole demeanor would change when he eventually took them back to the presence of a man that had the ability to darken their moods, without any effort on his part.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter ****9**

He wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was looking Shane up and down, as though the poor guy was on trial for something he hadn't done.

He was searching for some sign that the man was either lying or that he simply wasn't up to the task he had appointed himself to.

"I won't let them out of my sight, you have my word on that" Shane promised, keeping his voice firm, hoping to enforce the words.

Daryl reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, as if the movement would help relieve some tension. But it didn't.

Finally he gave in and nodded in response, before he looked over Shane's shoulder to where the girls were eating their dinner. They were having a quiet conversation between themselves and every now and then Sophia revealed a hint of a smile at her mother.

He had noticed that the blank expression Sophia often wore was slowly being replaced with something he could read.

There were moments through out the day where he could see her feelings written on her face. Whether that was anger, sadness, frustration or amusement, it was obvious that she was more comfortable showing them off then she had been. Even if it was only for a few minutes here and there.

And Carol was cautious, she was careful with everything she did and how she did it. But she seemed happy, she was at least as happy as he had ever seen her.  
He didn't want to ruin either of those things, but he feared this might be something that set them all back. It might be what destroyed the small comfort they had been building together over the past few weeks.

He knew he would have to go eventually. They were running low on rations and the only way to stretch them out was to bring in more food.

A group would be going out to scavenge in a few days, but it didn't matter, this still had to be done. There was always a chance that the groups would return with nothing.

He needed to go back out there. This was something he was going to have to adjust to.

"You should get an early night, maybe if you head off at first light you can-..." Shane stopped mid sentence, watching Daryl's arm drop from his neck in defeat.

Daryl knew his face must have reflected all his worries and concerns, but he couldn't find it in himself to try and hide them.

"I swear it Daryl, I'll keep an eye on em"

He wanted to tell Shane that he trusted him, because he had no reason not to. But he couldn't bring himself to say that. Because deep down he didn't.  
Instead, he nodded, as his mind raced through the thousand things that could go wrong.

"Don't want either of them left alone. Sophia-…she needs to be watched. Carol's busy all day and if she thinks Sophia is being looked after, then she might not notice if Sophia get's left alone. But I can promise you that someone else will notice"

Shane straightened up and took a minute to consider what he'd been told.

He wasn't accusing Shane or anyone else for not watching Sophia close enough. He didn't expect them to watch the kid twenty-four-seven. He knew that Sophia was Carol, _and now his_, responsibility. He was just pointing out something he had noticed and he was thankful Shane obviously understood that. He didn't seem to be taking offence to his words or tone.

He didn't want to ask Shane for help, but if they wanted him to provide for everyone in the group, then he needed to know that someone was helping out while he was gone.

"I think everyone might be used to the girl trailing after you. Maybe we just assume that if you're around, you'll be keeping an eye on her. But that wont happen when your gone, I can promise you that Daryl"

He never liked feeling like he had no options, it made him feel like he was all caught up in his own skin. But that was the case now. He had to go and he had to put his faith in people he didn't really know.

He didn't want to bring up the fact that he thought to much was expected from Carol. Maybe they put a bit to much on her plate. He didn't want to mention that maybe if her load was lightened then he wouldn't need so much from Shane. But he didn't want to speak for her and he didn't know if she would appreciate it if he did.

* * *

He wished he had of at least gone on Watch until after he met up with Carol, but he was having trouble dragging himself away.

He knew if he could hear them sleeping, then he knew they were safe. He wanted to enjoy that for as long as he could. He hoped if he spent his time close by them, then it would help to ease the anxiety that was steadily building.

After a few hours he heard the soft sounds from inside the tent and knew what they were.

He sat quietly and smiled when he heard the tents zipper slowly come down and watched Carol attempt to sneak out of the tent unnoticed.

"Hey" he whispered, trying not to startle her as she stepped out.

Her head spun in his direction and her shocked expression relaxed when her eyes fell on him, sitting at her feet.

"Awful late. Where you off too?" he asked with a cocky smile, that she returned, before she sat on the ground beside him.

"Having an early night?" she questioned softly as she snuggled in closer to him.

He nodded, throwing some more wood on the fire. "Yeah, I'm gonna leave as soon as the suns up".

"You'll be careful, right?"

The words seem to scratch out of her throat, making him look over in time to catch her fearful expression before she attempted to reign it in.

It had never occurred to him that she was concerned he would get hurt out there. That she was just as worried about him, as he was about her. He almost wished he hadn't seen or heard it. He didn't want her worrying about him. It only made him more anxious and only made the idea of leaving them behind harder to deal with.

He knew that there was nothing he could do to ease that concern for her, because he knew there was nothing she could do to ease his. There were no words or actions he could offer to fix that, but oddly enough, he still felt the need to try.

He wanted to tell her so many things, but his body seem to take over, making him lean in and press his lips to hers. She hummed with approval as she sunk into the kiss and he ran his hand over her back.  
As the kiss slowed he felt her palms slide around his neck, holding him in place for a few seconds longer.

He sat with his brow leaning into hers, watching as a small grin appeared on her lips, making him want to kiss them again.

"You need a good night's sleep" she whispered, interrupting his thoughts before he could act on them.

He nodded, before moving back in closer to kiss her again, not taking too much notice of what she was saying.

His lips had barely brushed over hers when she slowly pulled away and started standing up, her hands curling into his and pulling him to his feet with her.

He followed her without thinking. He briefly assumed they were going to his truck to finish what they had just started, to do what they done almost every night. But he realized that wasn't the case when he noticed she was leading him to her bed.

He felt a shock run through his body that jarred his muscles and made him suck in so much air that he knew she would have heard the intake.

He mumbled out her name, wondering if she was aware that she was still holding onto him. That maybe she was unknowingly taking him into the tent. But as soon as she turned to look at him, he knew she was aware of what she was doing.

He was sure he looked nervous as hell.

Even though it was the middle of the night and there was no one around but their usual audience. He still found himself looking over his shoulder.

"Come on"

He turned back to her again when she spoke, seeing the same sweet and sincere smile etched on her face.

His mouth hung open as she crawled into the tent and pulled the blanket across, waiting for him to join her.

He considered what he was doing, how it could all go wrong. He didn't know what difference it made where he slept, but he did know one option was a hell of a lot safer then the other.

He wanted to tell her that this didn't seem like the best idea, but he found it hard to say anything when he saw her reach out to him, urging him to get into bed with her.

He sucked in another audible breath, before he bite his bottom lip and look around once more.

He shook his head and gave in, sinking into the tent as quietly as he could so he didn't wake the kid, but also as quickly as he could. He was sure if he kept lingering in the entry that he ran the risk of Ed seeing him.

He sat down on her bed, feeling a wave of nervousness wash over him, as she zipped the tent closed. He was so worried about what trouble this would cause that he hadn't thought about the fact that he had never in his life slept next to someone.

She turned to crawl next to him and slide her legs under to covers. While he sat still, wondering what it was he was meant to do.

"It's ok. You can lay down" Carol barely breathed out, placing her hand lightly on his arm, trying to guide him down, as if she was worried he had forgotten how to sleep.

He lowered himself onto the mat, trying to relax, wondering why she was waiting for him to settle before she laid down.

He stopped breathing as she grabbed his wrist and moved his arm over, so she could position herself at his side. Within a second she was resting on his chest and he wondered if she could hear his heart pounding, as the weight of her steadied on him.

He felt her hands slid up his shirt to rest on his stomach and her leg slide over his thigh, until most of her body was sprawled over his.

He considered if she was referring to the comfort of the tent, when she said that he needed a good rest. Or if she know it would have the same reaction as when he kissed her. Every tensed part of him eased and voices in his head grew silent, until all he could think of was her. He could only focus on what parts of her were touching him and how warm her body felt against his.

He folded his arms around her, as his body relaxed into the mat and he released the nervous breath he was holding.

He knew straight away that his earlier thoughts had been wrong, there was a difference. Sleeping outside on the ground in his sleeping bag and sleeping in the tent beside her were two very different things. It had nothing to do with the comfort of the tent or the mat that cushioned the hard ground and everything to do with her stilled body lying over him.

The intimacy of it was something he hadn't expected and never thought for a second it was something to seek out. But now he knew different, now he didn't want to ever sleep without her in his arms.

All those nights of lying awake, feeling sick and alone, seemed so far away, even unthinkable, because he couldn't imagine feeling that way anymore, especially with her covering him over like a protective amour, something so strong that nothing bad could ever pierce through.

"This is nice" she whispered as she curled her body further over his.

He didn't trust his voice to reply, even though he more then agreed with her, he decided to stay quiet. Instead he leaned his head down, enough to press a kiss into her hair.  
As he laid back he tightened his arm around her and rested his cheek on her head.  
It was nice. It was warm and comforting. And he didn't want to say or do anything that might ruin it.

* * *

He laid there, enjoying the feeling of her body covering his and the soft sounds she made while she slept, waiting for the sun to rise.

The pressure of her weight over him had only made him more comfortable. It had pushed him into a deeper sleep than he knew was possible, without a substantial amount of alcohol to bring it on. He would be quite happy to stay in this position with her all day if he could. But at the same time, he wanted to get up and get out of there, so he could leave and get back as soon as possible.

As the dim light started to break through the fabric of the tent he slowly slid his body out from under hers. He watched her settle in place and found himself sitting there for a moment watching her sleep.

She looked different to how she usually did, during those times when he had taken a minute to really look at her. Sometimes through the day, he would watch her and he could see her mind ticking over with all the things she needed to do, worrying about all the things she knew she needed to concern herself with. It was always written on her face and embedded in her movements.  
But right now she just looked like Carol, and he wanted to commit the sight to his memory.

He slid his legs out from under the covers and crouched forward on his heels. He planned every movement as he crawled through the tent, keeping a close eye on Sophia, hoping that he could leave without her ever knowing he had been there.

Just when he thought he had been successful at getting away unnoticed, he stepped outside, seeing Rick looking right at him, raising his brow, before looking away.

He was always unsure if Rick approved of him being with Carol, when it was causing so much trouble with Ed. So, he could only imagine what Rick was thinking now.

He shook his head to himself and opened his duffle bag, going through his clothes and trying to find his jacket when he noticed Merle's leather vest. He pulled the item out slowly and examined it for a few minutes before putting it on.

As he slid the wings over his back, he wondered if Rick thought he was like Merle had been, or what he_ thought_ Merle was like. None of them really knew Merle. They knew how Merle had acted when he was high. But the crap that Merle couldn't quite kick, turned him into someone who didn't reflect the person Daryl to be knew his brother.

He didn't really blame Rick for Merle's disappearance. He had been told what happened and he could understand what had led Rick to restrain Merle, but he couldn't really understand him driving off and leaving him without even trying to save him. He had left him there for days, before he heroically declared that he would selflessly return to save Merle.

Andrea had explained to him how Merle was acting and she seemed to be quite aware that Merle had been strung out. He didn't particularly trust Rick, but he did trust Andrea to tell him the truth, because the blonde didn't really have any reason to lie to him.

She didn't paint Rick as some hero who had saved the day by handcuffing the villain down and leaving him to die. She had just told him that decisions were made fast and though it was easy to think back and wish things been done differently, at the time, they didn't feel like they had much choice. She hadn't presented it as if Rick had been right and Merle had been wrong, she had just told him how things went down.

He couldn't really hold Merle against Rick, but he often guessed that Rick held Merle against him.

He wondered if Rick thought he had less than honorable intentions with Carol. Maybe Rick thought he had worked to separate Carol from Ed for his own benefit. But he could honestly say that it just wasn't true. He knew that about himself.

If Carol didn't want to be with him, hell, if she didn't even want to be his friend, then he would suck that shit up and keep doing what he was doing. But Rick didn't know him well enough to know that. All Rick really knew was that Daryl was a Dixon. That he'd had to restrain both of Dixon brothers already because they were dangerous. Because Dixon's had a tendency to snap, they were backwards thinking morons who were here to cause trouble. That way of thinking was nothing new to Daryl. Rick wasn't the first person to think Daryl was trouble and he surely wouldn't be the last.

"You gonna leave without saying goodbye?" Carol asked as she emerged from the tent, flashing a faint smile that he desperately wanted to return, but couldn't bring himself too.

"Yeah" he assured her, knowing there was no way he could ever say the words to her, he didn't even like the way they sounded in his head.

He hardly looked at her before he sat down and started putting his boots on, fully aware that Rick was watching and Ed could wake at any moment. That awareness only intensified as she sat next to him, her side pressing into his, her hand resting on his lower back.

"Everything will be ok"

She spoke so confidently that his eyes broke away from his boots to look at her. She sounded sure of herself, yet he was positive she was only reacting to the concern emitting from him.

He nodded in response, knowing they would both be lying if he agreed, so he remained silent as his eyes drifted from hers, back down to the task at hand.

He wondered how many times he needed to be told that they would be ok, before he could believe it. But as he thought about it, he was positive that number didn't even exist.

He listened as Carol let out a sigh, knowing she hadn't convinced him, rising to her feet alongside him. He threw his backpack over one shoulder and looked her up and down, he was ready to go but she seemed to be getting closer and he wondered what she was thinking.

He looked passed her, over to Rick who was occasionally stealing glances at them, but pretending not to. Then he looked over to Ed's tent, assuring Ed wasn't about to appear.

He wondered how quick Rick could move to her defense if everything went wrong.

He prayed that Shane would keep his promise.

He wondered what would happen to her if he didn't make it back.

He wondered what was would go wrong, because something surely had to.

His mind filled with more and more possibilities, when suddenly he felt her cool palms cover his cheeks, guiding his lips down to hers.

The taste of her lips that had often made his mind blank, now seemed to only make the thoughts more vivid. He suddenly didn't care that Rick was close by watching. Her lips left his and he felt her ready herself to pull away from him. He wasn't ready for that.

Without considering any consequences or eyes on them, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, holding her there for far too long, as he buried his face into her neck.

He didn't know how to tell her how he felt. The words couldn't form in his mouth and he doubted they could ever break free from him. He didn't understand why it felt like the simple sentence seemed to be trapped in his chest, or how everyone else seem to be able to declare their feelings as if the words were as light as a feather.

He left with them heavily trapped inside of him, like a pile of bricks, and maybe it would stay that way.

He hated himself for that.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Heads up, this chapter has a small flashback, it's written in **_italics _**to make it a little clearer where it starts and finishes. There are few of these that will appear throughout the story. I will try to give warning, so they don't confuse anyone.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Weeks had passed and most of those days he was pushed to leave the camp. And every one of those days he hurried back, expecting disaster. But nothing.

He would return to find nothing out of place and nothing out of the ordinary.

The only thing that had changed was the new routine he found himself in.

It was always in the afternoon as the sun was starting to fade away, that he would make his way back through the clearing that led to the campsite.

He always noticed her long before she was aware of his return. He couldn't help but laugh to himself when he noticed her jump a little each time she spotted him approaching. An inviting and welcoming smile always appeared while she stood up and headed in his direction, ready to greet him.

Each day, without fail, she briskly walked up to him and gripped her hand around his arm. She squeezed it tightly before her fingers glided down his wrist and touched his hand. It seemed simple and subtle, but It was enough to let him know that she had missed him. It was enough to show that she was glad he was home safely.  
He'd never had that before from anyone.

Everything was going smoothly, but it only made him more unsettled. Because he didn't trust the slightly more comfortable situation one bit.

There was the occasional stray walker that got close to camp, but it was always taken care of quickly. As usual, the only thing he really had to worry about was Ed. The asshole hadn't done anything in weeks.  
For some reason that Daryl couldn't figure out, Ed had stopped snickering under his breath when he saw him sitting to close to Carol. There were no more outbursts when Ed noticed Sophia helping him out with mundane chores. It all just stopped.

Most people would settle in and think that everything was going to be ok. But he just couldn't bring himself to believe that Ed Peletier had just moved on.

He often found himself thinking that perhaps he was being to paranoid for his own good. But it just didn't feel right and in his experience, nothing was ever that easy or simple.

Ed had been quietly avoiding everyone, without any complaints. But the 'flying under the radar' game was making Daryl more nervous than seeing Ed loose it. At least when he was acting like a prick, he had an idea of what Ed was thinking. Ed had always made sure everyone knew what he was thinking. Now Daryl had to sit back and wonder what he was planning, just hoping that he was around when the plan revealed itself.

"Daryl?"

He jumped and looked up at her from his usual spot, her voice snapping him out of a daze.  
"I need the tray" she said lightly laughing, with just a hint of annoyance running through her tone.  
He shook his head to himself and handed her the tray of meat. He could see by her expression that he was making her anxious, watching Ed all the time like he was waiting for a bomb to go off. But he couldn't help himself. He wanted to know what the prick was up to.

He stood beside her while she cooked, listening to her talk about how she wanted a shower or a bath, anything to get the sweat of her. The conversation had his attention but it made his mind wonder off into a whole new train of thought.  
It was something that easily took his mind of Ed and impending disaster and onto thinking about a few of the good things he hadn't encountered. And once those ideas came into his head there was no way to ignore them.

He doubted there were many things left on this earth, that could occupy the space in his head the way in the same way that the idea of being wrapped up in her could.

It wasn't like they hadn't gotten close.

Only a week ago he was sure they were minutes away.

_She had been straddling__ his lap in the back of his truck. Everything was going as it normally did. _

_As the minutes passed__,__ everything seemed to get more heated. __  
__Without warning they both started to forget themselves. They forget that Glenn was waiting on them or that Shane was nearby._

_He couldn't pay attention to anything but her pulling his shirt over his head, her lips suddenly planting rough kisses on his neck__, while__ her fingers press__ed__ into his chest. __  
__There was an unanticipated desire to feel her skin on his. That __want and need that he felt,__ took over, guiding his hands over her waist and under her shirt, until he was pulling her shirt off and tossing it aside. _

_He yanked her closer, until her breasts were in his face and he began __moving__ his __mouth__ over the __exposed __soft skin__ above her black lace bra. _

_H__e could feel her hand__s,__ moving down his chest to his pants__, as though she was running out of time to reach them__. __  
_

_She yanked on his belt__,__ seconds away from unbuckling it, when her hand__s__ suddenly froze and she pulled away.__  
__  
__In the same moment, he stopped to look at her in the __glow of the__ dim light. Wondering if he had done something wrong. __  
_

_His mind raced, trying to remember if his hands had squeezed to tight or he had said anything to bring on the grim and timid expression she now had. _

_"__Wha-.. Ya-.. __Y__a__ ok?" he __stuttered out__ as she lean__ed__ over him __to snatch up__ her shirt. _

_"__Yeah. __I'm fine" __ she promised him, but the way she spoke made it hard for him to believe. _

_Her hands moved quickly as s__he slid the shirt back on and began climbing off him__, with the same urgency she had only minutes ago when she was going to undo his pants._

_He had questions. A lot of them, but she didn't give him a chance to ask them. __  
_

_She told him he had to get back to Sophia and ran off leaving him shirtless in the back of his truck, wondering what __had just __happened. __  
__He wouldn't have cared if she wanted to stop,__ it wouldn't have been the first time,__ but he didn't understand why she looked at him like that. _

_He sat there__ stunned,__ going over everything in his mind again, trying to figure it out__ what had just happened__, but he couldn't understand what __had caused her to panic__. __  
__He prayed that he hadn't done something that reminded her of Ed, or that the thought of __him__ was inescapable in that moment. Maybe she felt guilty, like she was betraying __Ed and the vows they had taken__.__ Or maybe she just realized being in there with him was a mistake.__  
__  
__T- Dog eventually came and took over for him, so he could get some sleep. Being relieved of his duties was something he was usually grateful for, but tonight he was nervous. __  
__He settled outside the tent on __the__ sleeping bag, that was still laid out on the ground. __  
__He sat there biting his fingernails down __until__ he heard her say his name. _

_He felt so sick with himself that he almost didn't want to answer her.__ But the concern in her voice made it hard for him not to move._

_H__is stomach churned as he__ knelt in front of the tent and unzipped the entry, expecting the same expression he had seen in the back of his truck. The fire glowed into the tent, to see her usual warm smile__,__ but it was flooded with__ anxiety…and maybe even__ regret. _

_"Are you coming to bed" she asked as if she was unsure he would want to, making him more confused. __  
_

_He didn't hesitate, crawling into the tent as he did ever__y__ night, closing the entry behind him before lowering himself down next to her. __  
__He automatically opened his arm, waiting for her to press her body to his side, instantly relaxing his tensed muscles when she __laid over him__.__  
_

_As she__ stretched out over him__. He was__ thankful she wasn't mad at him, but still not sure if he had done something wrong. They laid in silence for a few minutes, __but he could feel it hanging heavily the air around them. __  
__He chewed __at __his lip nervously as he ran through the events in his mind once again__. _

_T__here w__ere__ question__s__ he needed answered__, otherwise he may very well lay there all night and loose his mind wondering if he'd done something wrong__.__ The thought that he scared her or done something to upset her was making him physically sick. He couldn't take it._

_"__D__id I hurt ya?" he asked with a low muffled voice, horrified that the answer would be yes. __  
__He felt her body stiffen up as she took in his words, her head turning up to look at him from where she rested on his chest.__  
_

_"Of course not" she said firmly. _

_"Then did I__-__"_

_"It wasn't you" she said cutting him of__ in a low whisper,__ before he could find another way to blame himself. _

_"It's just__..__. __I'm not-__." was all she could seem to manage and he felt like his silence was forcing her to continue. __But that hadn't been his intention. There were plenty of things she hadn't forced out of him and he didn't plan on forcing her to tell him anything she wasn't comfortable with voicing._

_He tightened his hold on her, hoping it would relate some understanding. __  
_

_"I'm in no hurry" he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head, soothingly moving his hands over back until she fell asleep._

"Daryl!…Hey!"

Again, he was snapped out of his daze by her voice.  
Sophia stood up from where she had been sitting at his side, eagerly taking the two bowls, from her mother. He watched as the kid took two steps away before she turned to face him. He gawked at the kid, confused, wondering why she was staring at him.

"Go on and have dinner Daryl" Carol urged firmly as she busied herself with the task. He looked around and noticed Ed making his way over to the line of people that were waiting for their serving. The kid was holding his bowl and waiting for him to make his move to follow her.

"I'll help ya" he offered, sounding more nervous than he would have liked.

He was only annoying her more with the offer.

"Daryl. Go have dinner" she said forcing a smile while she filled Glenn's bowl.

"I can wait until-"

"And I can serve without help. I've done it a hundred times" she laughed the words out as she cut him off, but he couldn't hear any humor in the sound.

His eye caught Glenn who looked more than a little uncomfortable at being in the middle of the conversation.

He stood up ready to leave, watching Ed at the back of the line. His focus turned back to Carol who was raising her eyebrows at him, encouraging him to leave. He let out a heavy sigh and nodded to Sophia who had been waiting patiently.

"Come on then"

* * *

He sat quietly with Sophia in front of their tent. As usual the kid didn't talk to him, not that he would have noticed if she did. He was to busy looking past her, over to Carol who was serving everyone with a pleasant smile.

He watched her briefly talk with Rick and Andrea, watched her give Carl and Lori a bright grin, then he watched her eyes drop down as Ed approached.

She poured the stew into the bowl and passed it to him without lifting her head once. But Ed didn't try the same approach.

Ed's eyes were fixed in on her, trailing over her as if he was looking for something. He noticed Ed's eyes widen slightly and a small curve emerged on the corner of his mouth. And he could see satisfaction in his eyes as took one last look down at Carol.

Even as he walked away and sat down to eat, the grin remained.

Nothing had happened, she was right, she was fine. But that wasn't what had his fists clenched.

He looked at how Ed sheepishly moved around her, trying to make her more comfortable in his presence. Slowly Ed had been getting closer, quieter. He wondered if this was a strategy Ed had tried before and had it worked.

When Carol joined them to eat, he found himself looking at her, wondering what was going through her head.  
He listened as the self-doubting voice returned, the one that lived in the back of his mind. It reared up loudly, asking him questions he had no answers to.

_Did he really know what he was doing? __  
__  
__What if he'd been wrong__ about them being together__?__ And right to think she was simply to good to be with someone like him.__  
__  
__He was in love with her, but was she in love with him?__  
__  
__Was that why she had stopped and ran off that night, because she __still loved__ Ed? __  
__  
_He had only been with her for a few months, while she and Ed had been together for years. Carol and Ed had a whole life together, and it was a life that Ed had told him she was conditioned to returning to. All he had was a few stolen moments hidden in amongst this chaos and he didn't know if those moments meant the same to her as they did to him.

There was no doubt in his mind that he was better for her then Ed had been. But ole Ed hadn't set the bar very high. Truth was, just about anyone would have been better Carol then Ed was.  
But he knew that walking away from something like that, from somebody like that, wasn't easy. Whether they were good for you or not.

He had seen his own mother try her hand at leaving, but never be able to follow through with it. Something always led her back.

The situations may have been similar, but Carol had never reminded him of his mother once. She had children and a shitty husband, that was all they really had in common. She didn't seem defeated or hopeless, there was something fierce about Carol that was just lingering beneath the surface. There was a fire there. Carol just didn't know it yet.

He found himself starring at her. The invading voice flooded his mind as he watched her eat, until he noticed her hand curved around the spoon and the gold wedding band wrapped around her finger.

The ring had been the source of Ed's smile and the assurance that the voice in his head had needed. The glint of the gold gave it the fuel that it needed to create an inescapable swam of thoughts that left him in a panic.

It left him wondering if every idea and conclusion he had come to was wrong. It left him wondering if everything he had would soon be ripped away and he would have to sit back and watch the Peletier family reunite.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Carl always kept a keen eye on Rick, waiting to catch whatever free time that the man had to offer.

He was unsure if Carl had always been like this with Rick, or if the kid was still settling into the idea that his father wasn't dead, and the shine of that hadn't worn off.

Whatever the reason was, Sophia always fell back from the pair and drifted his way, to join in on whatever he was busying himself with.

He wondered if Sophia simply didn't care for Rick, felt out of place around the father and son duo, or that she just didn't have ant interest in following them around.

He dropped the pile of firewood outside their tent and Sophia followed suit, bouncing back a step as her collection hit the ground.

He searched the area, desperately seeking out something to do when he noticed Shane dumping the last empty drum into the tray of his truck.

He could see Shane looking over to T-dog and Glenn, who much like him, had fuck all to do, but unlike him they weren't desperate to escape.

"I got it" he barked at Shane with far to much urgency, jumping on the task before it could be offered to anyone else. He didn't give Shane a second to respond before making his way over to the truck with the familiar sound of the light steps beating along behind him.

He had been doing a good job at avoiding Carol all morning and felt the need to continue with it before night hit and he would have to be alone with her again. He knew the racing thoughts would emerge in her presence, just as they had been doing for the last two days.

He opened the door and hoisted Sophia in, waiting on her to climb over to her side before he hopped in. He waited a minute like he always did, as Sophia snapped her seat-belt in and got herself comfortable.

"You good?" he asked as he looked her over, assuring that she did look like she was ready to go.

She gave him a firm nod."I'm good"

* * *

He felt better once the camp was out of sight. It was easier to forget about his worries when he could look around without having to see Carol. Without having to wonder what she was thinking or if he was wrongly reading every interaction he had with her.

A part of him was waiting for her to tell him that they needed to talk. Not that she wanted to talk to him - but that she _needed_ to talk to him. He knew there was a very big difference between the two. One happened naturally and came about on it's own. The other was the kind that made his stomach twist in on its self.

It was easier not to think about it when he was away from the camp, because he needed to pay attention to what was going on in his surroundings, more then he did when he had the whole group close by.

Sophia was her usual quiet self, but he could see a determination in her eyes. Whenever they had a job to do, no matter how simple the job was, she was focused on it and she seemed to enjoy completing the tasks he set for them.

This was something they did often. He got bored easily at the camp and always volunteered to get water when they needed it. Most everything they did required water - they needed it for bathing, cleaning, drinking and cooking, so they needed it a lot.

When he pulled up into his usual spot by the water, he noticed Sophia bob around in her spot with anticipation.

They had a system, a routine that they were ready to execute as soon as the truck stopped running.

He could do the jobs himself. Most likely he could do them quicker on his own to. But he was in no rush.

It seemed like everything he did when he spent his days at the camp revolved around him taking his time, because he didn't really have anywhere to be in a hurry. The only time he felt any urgency these days was when he was out hunting or taking down a walker.

And it seemed that Sophia liked to be useful. So he found her small tasks to complete, to make sure she had something to do while she was following him around.

He hopped out of the truck and turned to face her, putting his arms out ready to grab a hold of her before she had even crawled over to the drivers seat.

She had an easier time getting out of the truck then getting in, but his intention wasn't to help her out of the truck, but rather to toss her into it's tray.

Sophia leaned out of the truck and grabbed a hold of his arms while he got a grip on her waist. He held her out in front of him and she instantly tucked her legs up, so she didn't hit the truck as he passed her over into the tray.

Once her feet were steady, he waited to get a nod from her, letting him know that she was fine on her feet and ready for him to let go. He had let go once before, without checking that she was steady and it had almost caused her to fall face first into the hard surface of the tray. It almost gave him a heart attack and he was sure Sophia nearly got her little face smashed in. So now, he waited.

She started as she always did, by passing him the largest drum so he could head of towards the stream, while Sophia began unloading the rest onto the ground.

She dropped them over the edge until the small pile was there, waiting to be filled. Once she was done, she unhooked the trays latch and jumped out, ready to help him fill them.

There were three smaller containers, that he figured held around two gallons, he left those for Sophia. There were a few more that held maybe six gallons and two larger drums that he guessed to be around ten, at the least.

Usually, once Sophia filled the smaller jugs and loaded them into the tray, she would entertain herself by throwing stones into the water or inspecting something she discovered on the ground.

That was their system. Their routine. So when Sophia deviated from their usual course of action, it wasn't hard for him to notice.

He didn't ask her what she was doing when she dragged one of the larger containers over to the water. At first he assumed she was bringing it over for him.

He filled up the last of the drums watching as Sophia went to work on filling the thing by herself, with an even more intense determination in her eyes then she usually held.

He tossed the last one into the tray and turned to see what she was doing and if she had some kind of plan to execute the task, a task that he was fairly sure would be impossible for someone of her size.

He watched the kid dip the drum into the stream before she struggled to drag it out. Her shoulders fell forward and her arms stretched out as she used all her strength to pull the drum along with her. It just didn't seem doable and it was a little pitiful to watch.

She left a small trail behind her, where the drum had indented into the dirt while she attempted to drag it back to the truck. He could have laughed it wasn't such a miserable sight.

He gave her a bit of time, waiting on her to give him some kind of indication that she wanted his help.

After a few minutes it occurred to him that she may never ask for help and there was a possibility that she may be straining herself to hard for something that wasn't really that important.

He made his way over to her, but even when he was close enough for her to hear him, she kept going, struggling to get it done.

"Want me to get it?" he asked, wondering why she seemed so determined to complete the job.

She grunted, ignoring the offer and continued trying to pull the drum.

"Thing weighs more then you do. It's to big. Let me get it."

She looked up at him, her face full of anguish and despair. He knew the feeling well, but he didn't understand how a water jug could bring on so much self-hatred. He let out a heavy sigh and took one side of the jug. "Come on"

A small smile formed as her eyes met his and she lifted the jug with him and took it over to the truck. He didn't know why finishing the chore meant so much to her, he didn't know why it mattered at all. But it had.

He watched her smiling to herself as they got back into the truck, trying to understand the kid that sat beside him. He knew it had to be about more then a drum of water. But he didn't know the girl well enough to even venture to guess was going on in her head.

He cleared his throat as the truck came to life and turned his sights back to the trail ahead of them. "You did good"

From the corner of his eye he noticed her smile spread a little further before she looked back to the window as she usually did, ready to enjoy the sight of scenery as they passed it.

He was used to her being silently at his side. He never once got the feeling she liked him or enjoyed his company. He doubted that anyone had ever found him especially entertaining. Sophia just wanted to be where she felt safe and he was happy that he had that to give, especially since there was very little that he had to offer the kid.

He imagined that a year ago, if someone had presented a picture of what his life would be like now, he would have been annoyed at the idea of have a child glued to his heels. But now he knew it was actually easier for him when she was near by, he liked that he didn't have to wonder where she was. It freed up a lot of space in his head.

* * *

He parked the truck in its usual spot on the outskirts of the camp and noticed Carl heading towards them with a beaming grin.

After she swung the door open Sophia turned to look at him, her eyes met his for a moment, before she leaped from the car and ran off.

He knew she wasn't awaiting permission from him, but she always looked at him the same way before she wondered of. An empty and emotionless guise that he could never decipher.

He assumed it was just her own way of letting him know she was leaving and maybe waiting to see if he objected. Maybe she was assuring herself, that he thought she was safe to run off.

He kept a close eye on Sophia as he walked through the camp, heading over to the tent.

He wanted to make sure he had everything ready to leave in the morning. He'd been keeping such a close eye on the kid that he didn't noticed Carol sitting on his sleeping bag, the mock bed that he still pretended to use. Though now he wondered if it was purely for Ed's benefit, rather then working to keep the peace.

It wasn't like everyone didn't already know he was crawling in their every night and out every morning. And he understood why they wanted to keep it from Ed, he was dangerous and they didn't want to make him snap. But the voice in his head questioned him, wanting to know if that was the real reason or was it just what he had been led to believe.

It felt like his head was in a constant battle with itself, but he didn't know which side was being logical and which was being irrational.

She looked up as he approached and he noticed then that she was sewing up the holes on Sophia pants, repairing the tares that her tiny fingers had created.

His steps faltered as he got closer and he found himself looking right at her and she seemed to be staring right into his eyes. For a second he thought she was trying to figure out what was going on in his head, just like he was trying to do with her.

He thought about heading back the way he came, maybe go and collect some more sticks or something. Though at this point he knew it would be overkill. They had more then enough to last a few days.

"Everything go alright" she asked as her eyes focused back on the needle and thread.

The question was reasonable and he intended to answer it. But he also felt like her voicing it meant that he had to to sit down.

"Yeah. She's with Carl and Lori. Rick, he ain't far off" he said, nervously dropping himself down beside her. Carol nodded as she forced the needle through the fabric once more.

He watched the way her fingers danced the needle around with precision and was fairly certain that she could complete the job with her eyes closed.

"She always done that" Daryl asked looking at the bright red patches that were now covering the knees of the kids pants.

Carol seemed to consider the question for a moment before looking up at him with an insincere smile. He could see in her eyes that it was a touchy subject and she was looking him over for some sign of judgement, but he knew she wouldn't find any.

"She has. Ever since she was small, but it's gotten worse the last year or so". He watched her shrug and look back down to the pants to finish up the patches.

"We do strange things when we're not coping" she said quietly, her voice flooded with guilt that he desperately wanted to erase, but knew he never could.

As he sat quietly considering the statement he felt her eyes on him again.

"You wanna talk about it Daryl?"

"Bout what" he answered far too quickly, with a crease formed in his brow and a bit more bite in his words then he would like.

"You've barely spoken in days" she pointed out, ignoring his tone and offering him a softened smile as she set the pants down beside her and turned to face him.

He rubbed his arm nervously and looked around, trying to find a way out of this conversation.

She sighed and nodded, seemingly to herself more then to him. "Well, when you're ready"

She sounded calm and comfortable with leaving it at that.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her as she slowly stood up, her hand touching his shoulder as she passed him. It was a simple touch that she often granted him as she passed him and he responded as he always did, by reaching up in time to touch her fingers as they slid over his shoulder.

He knew he should have gone after her. Taken her somewhere to talk. He should have told her what was going on. But the thought that she would tell him that his concerns were right, had damn near terrified. He was starting to wonder if not knowing was better then knowing.

He knew that the voice in his head that argued with him wasn't always right, but it wasn't always wrong either.

If it was right about this, it would be so much worse then any other time, because he had never had so much to loose.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 1****2**

Carol was fairly certain that Daryl was either mad at her - or he was just plain done with her. And she couldn't blame him if he had decided that being with her was just to much of a burden to bare.

But the more she convinced herself that something was very wrong, the more confused Daryl left her.

Throughout the day and into the evenings, he barely spoke to her. He mumbled his thanks when she handed him his meals. He answered any questions she had for him, but he never offered her more then a few words in reply.

But at night something shifted in him and she couldn't figure out what that shift was or why it occurred.

Daryl was not taking a watch shift lately and she wished he had have been, so that she could escape with him into his truck and maybe find out what was going on, or what she had done to bring on the sudden change.  
But because Daryl was out hunting most days, he was relieved from those duties and that meant that he didn't really have to spend any time alone with her. And he seemed to be using that as another excuse to avoid looking at her or talking to her, unless he had to.

He didn't join her in the tent until he was sure that Ed wouldn't catch him, though she didn't really care if Daryl was seen by Ed or anyone else. She wanted him in there, there was nothing really inappropriate about the sleeping arrangement. And it was, after all, Daryl's tent.

The part that had her confused, the part that made her feel like she was going crazy or reading into things far to much, was what happened at night.  
When Daryl would finally crawl into the tent to go to sleep, it would appear as though nothing had changed. If anything, she could feel his desperation to be close to her. There was something about the way he touched her that was heart braking, it was a s though he was he was horrified of loosing her and yet he spent his whole day pushing her away.

He'd settle into his position beside her and wrap both his arms around her tightly and shift around until she was almost completely laid over him. It wasn't something she'd expect from a man who was looking for a way out - and they weren't the actions of someone who was angry.

In the mornings, shortly after the sun rose, he would leave the tent and she would follow him out and kiss him goodbye and then he would tie his arms around her and bury his face into her neck.

It was something that they did every morning before he left, but now he held onto her for a little longer and made her promise him that she would be careful when he wasn't there, because he didn't want anything to happen to her.

There was something broken about the whispers he mumbled into the skin of her neck. She wondered if he thought he wouldn't make it back, or that she wouldn't be there when returned.

From the time he laid down beside her at night, until he parted ways with her in the morning, it was as though he was savoring to every moment he had with her. But then he would come home in the afternoons and avoid her as much as he possibly could. Just like he had done today.

It just didn't make sense to her and it had her constantly watching him for some sign of what was going on with him.

She worked slowly with Andrea, preparing lunch for everyone. They had started the process early and were taking advantage of the fact they were in no hurry.

As she slowly opened the mass of canned vegetables, she pretended that she wasn't watching Daryl and Sophia's interactions, just as she had been doing since Daryl's early arrival back to the camp.

No matter how stressed or anxious she was, she still couldn't help but marvel at the sight of her daughter tagging along behind him.

It was hard for her to believe Daryl minded how Sophia hovered around him, especially when it seemed like he was much more comfortable when she was close by.

Daryl had set himself the task of keeping Sophia safe from Ed and he attacked that job with determination, he was so determined not to fail that he had encouraged her, in his own way, to join him whenever she pleased.

"Is it broken?" Sophia asked, as Daryl popped the hood of his truck.

He shook his head and ducked in to get a closer look. "Nah. Ain't gonna be either...just needs a little tune up"

Sophia looked at him with a confused frown, while she considered what he said. But it obviously didn't make much sense to her.

"How do you know. I mean-, if it's not broken, how do you know ya need to fix it?" Sophia questioned, tilting her head to the side.

Daryl twirled his finger by the side of his head. "I could hear it." He said as he came out from the truck and crouched down.

He opened the toolbox and started pulling out what he needed as he continued on with his explanation. "When we were driving down to the water…just didn't sound how'd I'd like it to sound"

Sophia crouched down next to Daryl and her eyes scanned over the tools that Daryl was collecting up. "Can I help?"

Daryl was nodding before Sophia had even finished the short question.

She watched as he passed Sophia each tool, one by one, telling her what they were.

She doubted Daryl knew how good he was with Sophia. He spoke carefully and guarded her feelings, much like he guarded her from Ed and the walkers.

He told Sophia she could help by handing him the tools as he needed them, but not to worry if she forgot the names of them, because he himself had trouble remembering what they were, though Carol doubted that was true.

He was patient, though she was sure he would never describe himself as such.  
She knew the trait didn't go unnoticed by Sophia either. She had only really ever spent time around men who demanded her silence. But that was not a rule that Daryl enforced.

Though she had protected Sophia from Ed physically hurting her, she had failed to protect her from his harsh words and his general rejection of the idea - that she deserved his time, compassion and encouragement.

She couldn't remember the last time Sophia had asked Ed anything, she couldn't remember her ever seeking out his company or assuming he had protection to offer her. She couldn't actually remember Sophia looking at her father with anything but fear in her eyes.

She wondered if that was why Sophia found Daryl so fascinating. There was nothing amazing about most of the things Sophia did with Daryl and she never seen them carry out a lengthy conversation. She sure that Sophia's fascination with the man was wrapped into the simple fact that he didn't look at her with contempt.

* * *

"Need anything else?"

Her head spun towards the sound of his voice, as it broke through the silence that he'd created.

He had brought her the last basket of laundry that she needed to hang, but she could see that he was itching for an escape from her.

She wished it didn't hurt so much to see his eagerness to leave her, but it did.

She knew that she needed to be especially careful right now. She was almost certain that if she pushed Daryl to hard or made him feel to trapped - that he would pull away more then he already was. But it was hard to just let this go on.

She dropped her eyes down to the basket and started slowly sorting through the damp clothes. "Some company would be nice"

She risked a glance up at him, to see his reaction, but it was just as she had expected it would be. His eyes darted around him and she could see him slowly inching back towards his truck.

"I need to go. Gonna fill up the two big drums and check some snares I got down there…Sophia, she's with Lori and Carl in the RV. She's good for now" Daryl muttered as he rubbed at his neck, still slowly leaning away from her.

She had barely opened her mouth to respond when Ed suddenly entered the quiet space, that was slightly separated from the rest of the camp.

They both froze and the limited conversation they were having came to a complete halt.

She sunk into herself and ducked her head slightly, as she was used to doing whenever Ed approached.

Daryl's initial reaction was much like it usually was, his muscles visibly tensed and his jaw tightened. He always looked as though he was ready for a fight, whether one was going to take place or not.

Ed didn't so much as look up as he approached Daryl's truck, carrying the large empty drum. He didn't snarl or glare, he simply tossed the drum into the tray and turned to offer her, what he thought was a sheepish grin, but never looked anything but sly and conniving.

She wanted to look away and focus on what she was doing, at least until she knew that he was gone, but when her eyes fell on Daryl she couldn't take her sights off the expression that had formed on his face.

In the past, Daryl had looked at Ed with anger and disgust. But right now, Daryl looked nervous and uneasy.

It didn't make much sense that the simplest interaction with Ed could evoke those kinds of emotions, especially when she had seen him in more violent situations with Ed and he'd never looked anything but furious and ready to react.

She found herself starring at him as he worked to reign in everything that he was exposing.

His eyes stayed on Ed until he was out of sight, before they darted back to her. When they fell on her she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.  
It was just a moment, nothing she got to examine for any longer then that. But she had seen it clearly, it was as obvious as anything else around her. He looked like he had been betrayed.

"Daryl?" she asked carefully feeling her stomach twist at the sight.

He spun before his name had fully left her mouth and began shuffling to his truck. She heard him mumble out something about being back soon, but didn't stay long enough for her to say another word.

* * *

When he made his way down towards the stream he noticed the old Corolla by the water, a car that he knew Andrea should have left behind, rather then choosing it to drive headfirst into the apocalypse.  
The thing was dying and even Andrea had said, many times over, that eventually she was going to part ways with the beaten down mess, but she always finished by adding that _"today was not that day"._

He could see her looking out over the stream, before her hand braced the gun that she kept in the waist of her pants.  
His truck wasn't quiet as it approached the stream, but she had been so lost in thought that she hadn't heard anything.

He could see the shock on her face as she turned towards him and he could see her whole body relax when she realized she wasn't in any danger.

She stopped and regarded him for a minute while he parked the truck and jumped out, ready to start the tasks that he had set for himself.

"You finished? I can keep an eye out for ya until ya done" he asked as he grabbed the two large drums from the tray of the truck and dumped them onto the ground.

He could see that Andrea's hair was damp and her shirt was clinging to her skin. He knew she was most likely finished cleaning up, but he didn't want to invade on her privacy if she still had some things she wanted to do.

"I'm done" she said throwing her bag into the old yellow heap of crap that she drove, before she came over and grabbed the second drum.

"I can do that. Don't need ya help" he grumbled with far to much aggression.

Andrea ignored him and he couldn't help but growl, knowing she was cutting down his time on being away from the camp.

She followed him to the stream and dipped the over-sized drum into the water, relaxing into the boring task alongside him.

"You doing ok Daryl?"  
He shrugged, not liking the tone of voice she was using. He didn't do heart to hearts and he got the feeling that she was trying to steer him in that direction.

"ok as I've ever been"

"You and Carol, are you fighting?"

"That ya business?" He questioned, keeping himself focused on filling the drum rather then engaging with her anymore then he had to.

"Just being friendly"

He couldn't help but laugh.  
"Friendly?..Talking about me fighting with Carol. That strike ya as friendly conversation?"

Andrea smiled at him and grew quiet for a minute.

He wasn't stupid enough to think she was done. He could see she was just trying to decide where she was going to go from here. But god he wished she would just leave it at that and back off. He didn't even know how to talk to Carol about this and he didn't like the idea of talking to this women about something he considered to be pretty damn private.

Right now he wished he'd dragged Sophia along with him. He doubted Andrea would think this topic was appropriate for the kid to hear and he would much prefer Sophia's silence to Andrea's "friendly" chat.

"Is this about Merle?" Andrea questioned carefully, gauging his feelings about the situation as most people did. Still unsure if he was bitter enough to explode over what had happened.

"Merle?" he echoed, waiting on her to elaborate.

He had some shit in his head to work out, that was for sure. He had to figure out what he was going to do if Carol dumped his ass and he had to figure out how he was going to deal with all the other shit that came with that. But one thing he was sure of, was this had nothing to do with his brother and he was surprised to hear his name brought up.

"You started wearing that vest and it seems like your shitty mood has been growing since then"

Daryl creased his brow and stopped what he was doing to look at her.

"I just mean, if you're upset you can talk about it. I know that-.., I know you must still be upset."

The dumbstruck look he was wearing was unavoidable, but she was to busy averting her eyes to take much notice of it.

"Maybe I'm not the only one" he pointed out, watching her closely as he spoke, noticing her become uncomfortable.

"I'm sure your not-…I mean-…Merle, he wasn't that bad-..he just-…well he's-"

"Merle's a prick. He always has been." He couldn't help but laugh as he looked Andrea over. "And from what I can tell, the only people who miss Merle are right here by this stream"

Andrea's mouth fell open like she might protest, but she couldn't quite find the words to start. She stammered out a sound and turned red, before she darted her eyes back to the stream.

"Jeez Andrea. He called you a whore, a bitch…called you a few things I don't even wanna repeat."

Andrea nodded and she even looked a little angry at the memories he had stirred up.

"Your right, he did. So why would I miss him?"

There was a bit of force in her tone, a bit of conviction, but she was a lawyer and he guessed she knew how to sound honest when she was trying to spin shit.

He shrugged, trying not to smile, he didn't want her to think he was judging her and he didn't want her to think that he cared who she had chosen to spend her time with. Even if he thought she was crazy.

"That ain't for me to say..I mean, people are strange. Get themselves into odd situations. One thing I do know, is this vest" He said tugging at the leather before he continued. "Merle never wore it. Never took it out of his bag. Far as I know, his bag never left the tent..the only way you'd know it was his, was if you just happened to be in his tent. Maybe he showed ya and maybe-"

"You know what? you're right." Andrea snapped quickly, cutting him.

He leaned back in his spot as she suddenly jumped to her feet, biting the inside of his mouth, trying to hold back his grin as long as he could.

She looked flustered and annoyed and it only made it harder for him to control his reaction.

"What ever is going on with you and Carol, it's none of my business"

He choked back a sound and nodded his understanding.  
"Andrea, It's alright. I won't say anything…_it's not my business_"

Her eyes narrowed in on him, trying to decide if he was telling the truth. Possibly trying to decide if she needed to kill him to keep him quiet.

He held both his hands up in surrender and finally gave into the twist that his features had been fighting for.

"Dixon's can be pretty damn discreet,… you outta know that"

He wished he could wipe the ass-hole smile from his face, he knew Andrea didn't appreciate it. She certainly didn't start the_ "Friendly conversation" _up with the intention of him finding out that she had been screwing around with his brother.

He watched with amusement as she huffed and stalked over to her car, leaving without another word.

He knew his brother. The prick could get the attention of any women in the room and then he could swing enough charm to keep their attention. But that wasn't the Merle who had been with him at the quarry, it wasn't the Merle that Andrea knew.  
So it did kinda make him wonder what the hell was wrong with her.

Andrea wasn't awful to look at, she seemed nice enough and seemed pretty damn smart,..hell she was a lawyer and not the kind that chased ambulances around.

He had heard her talking to Carol before - about being a civil rights attorney. She had raved on and on about human rights, social freedom, equality and discrimination.  
Maybe that made Andrea a little more open minded then the average person.  
Maybe it made her have a little more compassion for Merle.  
He didn't really know and he decided not to question her. She quite obviously didn't want to talk about it.  
But he wondered if it went a bit further then Merle holding her attention long enough to scratch an itch. He doubted she would have gotten so worked up if it had been that simple.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"You should get yer'self some rest" Shane pressed as Daryl grabbed the shotgun out of the weapons bag. He shrugged as he made sure it was loaded.

He didn't need the gun. He didn't want the gun. But if he didn't take it, he would have to listen to Shane yammer on about how it made him uncomfortable knowing he was on watch without a weapon. As if his crossbow was a water pistol or maybe he was using Twizzlers instead of bolts.

Truth was, Daryl had his own guns. He had Merle's guns too. But he hadn't shared that information with anyone else.

All the weapons were collected up and stored away in the back of Shane car.

The people who were trained in using the guns, were allowed one handgun to keep, but that was all that Shane and Rick had decided was necessary. They said it was for safety, among a bunch of other reasons they listed off.  
Daryl didn't really care what reasons they had, he wasn't giving up his guns.

"You're heading out tomorrow, right?" Shane questioned, even though he knew the answer.

Daryl nodded in reply as he snapped the piece closed. "Can't sleep, might as well be useful"

"You alright man?" Shane asked, tilting his head to the side, to further examine his face. He nodded in reply again and took a step back, hoping the movement conveyed his intentions.

He wanted the silent gestures to be enough for Shane. But the more time he spent with these people, the more he realized that they liked to drag a conversation out, right to the point where he was itching to run from them. Sometimes in his head, he imagined he was doing just that.

"You should take it easy. Talk to Carol, I'm sure she would have no problem helping you unwind"

His first instinct, that he ignored, was to tell Shane to fuck off and mind his own business. But he pushed that down quicker then it took the thought to form.

Shane wasn't smirking like an asshole, like he had a tenancy to do sometimes. If anything, Shane appeared genuinely sincere when making the assumption, he even sounded a bit concerned about his well being. But still, Daryl decided not to answer him, even if it seemed like the guy only had good intentions.

He headed over to his usual spot by his truck, trying to get away before he was asked anymore questions that he didn't want to answer. He was sure if he loitered in the common area to long, it would be taken as some kind of signal that he actually wanted to have these chats.

He'd only been on watch a few minutes when he heard the loud thumping footsteps approaching.

He suppressed the growl that was building in his throat, wondering which one of them had decided to impart their wisdom on him now. One thing he knew for sure, was that it wasn't going to be Andrea.

He forced himself to look over, even though his head was screaming at him to ignore the sound and just hope who ever it is goes away.

He couldn't remember ever seeing her look so annoyed.

Carol didn't really do annoyed or angry. He was sure she got mad and frustrated, but she never showed it in her features. Not really.

She had taught herself to wipe it from her face before it even had a chance to show. He guessed that was why Sophia spent a great deal of time looking like an emotionless mannequin. Both of them had learnt that it was safer to appear passive to everything that was going on around them. Looking as though you were considering options, making judgement's or plans wouldn't be safe to do around someone like Ed.

Right now though, there was nothing passive about Carol's expression. She looked like she was ready to let him have it. And oddly enough, it made him more relaxed then he had felt in days.

It was like some kind of sign that she wasn't willing to put up with anymore shit from anyone. It also let him know that she felt safe enough around him to show off those emotions without fear of him dishing out some kind of punishment for revealing them.

She stood herself in front of him and he finally got the chance to really look her over.

She was wearing the baggy flannel pajama pants she wore most nights when she went to bed. Usually there was a tight tank top to accompany them, but he had never really gotten a good look at it. It was always to dark when he crawled into the tent and she usually threw a sweater on as soon as she woke.  
He had been wanting to get a closer look at the shirt because he was sure it hugged all of her curves, in all the right places. And maybe that tank top was under the shirt, _his shirt_, that she was wearing now. The raggedy old t-shirt was far to big for her and showed off absolutely nothing, but it was somehow more appealing.

"Talk!"  
She snapped, making him frown at the sound of her voice, because he could hear her frustration with him.

He released a heavy breath and dropped his eyes from her to the ground.

A part of him was pleading with himself to let all this shit go and make it better, but that voice that lived in his head was demanding that he remember exactly who and what he is. Reminding him that he needed to protect himself from the tiny women who had far to much power over his life as it was.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on the ground."Nothin to talk about"

"Your pulling away from me" she said firmly, keeping her voice low, though it was obviously a struggle. "Why?"

Her words hit him hard. She was right, he had been pulling away. He figured It would be easier. The less attached he got to her, the less it would hurt him when she broke it off. What he hadn't really thought about, was the fact he was hurting her.

He shook his head while examining the dirt at his feet far to closely.  
"I'm not going anywhere" he mumbled, with his voice practically soaked in the fear that he was to horrified to admit. But it was all right there in his tone and he knew she would have heard it.

The sound of his words scratching out of his throat seemed to instantly extinguish her frustration and she dropped her head to the side slightly, trying to get a better look at his face in the moonlight.

He'd kept his eyes on their feet and stayed perfectly still when she started to move.

He watched her hand reach out between them, so that she could lightly fold the tips of her fingers over his.

He still held her in his arms every night, he still kissed her each morning before he left, but those things had become some kind of extended goodbye, because he had been waiting for her to give him his marching orders. But right now, he just missed her and he didn't want to let her go without at least trying to hang on to her.

"He's up to something" he said looking at her thumb as it grazed back and forth over his fingers.

Carol released a odd sound that reminded him of a hiccup and he couldn't help himself but look up at her.

She looked confused and he noticed her shrug slightly, but all that anger and frustration she'd had a few seconds before had vanished. "So what? He always is…if it's to much for you then-"

"He wants you. He's playin' at somethin to get you back" he said cutting her off, once again his words stammered, making him cringe.

He felt exposed and vulnerable and worst of all he realized he was even jealous of that prick. It was the horrifying idea that someone like that knew how to get her back, while someone like him didn't know how to hang onto her.

He froze as her hands slid from his fingers up his arms and she moved closer.

"Have a bit more faith in me Daryl."

It only took eight words for him to feel like the worlds biggest prick.

"I know what he's doing, but it doesn't matter." she said softly, to grab his full attention, that he granted by meeting her gaze.

When his eyes found hers, she gave him a cooked smile that didn't look very genuine. Mostly, she just looked worried and he knew he had been the one to cause it.

She shook her head slightly as she continued, with an expression that was so much softer then he deserved right now. "You can't do this. You can't keep all this in your head. You've got to talk to me. We wont make it like this Daryl. We won't."

There was an urgency in her tone, a pleading that he wasn't expecting, letting him know that this was important. This was how things worked. And he knew she was right, because slowly her words started to drown out the voice in his mind.

There was no doubt that he was closet to Carol, she was the only person he really talked to in the group, but he didn't talk to her all that much. And maybe that was the problem.

He nodded as his body gave in, moving his hand slid onto her hips, to break the physical boundaries that he'd put between them.

"Ok. I can do that" he promised, nodding his head and releasing a heavy breath. "I can" he added, speaking more to himself then to her.

"I want you"

He was sure his heart stopped when she spoke those words.

He'd said the same thing to her at the quarry, without even really knowing what he was asking for.

She had been right, he didn't know what he was getting himself into. But now he knew and he still wanted her. He wanted her more then he had ever wanted anything and a part of him couldn't help but hold that against her. He didn't like feeling like someone had so much control over him. But oddly enough, he knew that if he lost her, then the absence of that feeling would be crippling.

He wanted to reply, but for the longest time he just looked at her, he searched her face for an uncertainty that didn't exist. He wanted to find some indication that she was lying, because that would be so much easier to believe, before accepting that she wanted him. But the only thing he found was conviction and assurance.

He wanted to know why and how.

Why did she want him, how did she seem so certain?

But instead of asking he let a smile break through, because he realized it didn't matter. He watched as her face lit up, revealing an expression that forced his hand up to her face, so he could run his fingers over her cheek.

"Come to bed?" she whispered leaning into his touch.

He slid his hand from her cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her away from his truck rather then answering the request.

He kept her pulled into his side as they walked back over to Shane, receiving a nod from the man when he placed the shotgun back with the rest of the weapons.

As they got back to her tent he could see Glen hovering around. He'd been keeping an ear out for Sophia and assuring that she was safe, while Carol had left to deal with his dumb-ass.

Glenn gave them a smile as they approached, then started to wander back around the camp to continue on with his patrol.

Carol started crawling into the tent while he slipped his shoes and jacket off. He was eager to get back into the warm space, so he moved a bit quicker then usual.

As he stepped into the tent he placed his crossbow on the ground, just inside the entry, as he always did. He lowered himself quietly onto his knees to crawl over to the space he shared with Carol, where she was waiting for him.

He had barely laid down when she slid over him.

He couldn't help but sigh heavily as the weight of her body settled on his chest.

It wasn't like he hadn't been sleeping like this every night, but right now it felt more permanent and that made him relax into it.

He closed his arms around her and began lightly rubbing her back. He was sure he could feel her whole body loosen. It made him realize how tense she'd felt the nights before when he had been holding her, but he had been to caught up in his own head to notice.

"I'm sorry Carol" he offered softly as he tightened his hold on her.

She shook her head into his chest. "Don't be. It takes work and this isn't an easy situation for someone to be put in"

He thought about what she said for a second, letting the words sink in.

She was right, it wasn't exactly easy, there were obstacles and there were issues they needed to deal with. But how he felt about her was easy, it came naturally and it was unwavering.  
The only thing that interrupted his feelings for her, were the things festering in his own head. They had nothing to do with Ed. This was all his doing.

"You know I trust you right?" he asked quietly, making sure he kept his voice down so that they didn't disturb Sophia.

She hummed in response but she didn't sound like she was really believed him. For that he had no one else to blame but himself .

He did trust Carol. He trusted her more then he had ever trusted anyone, but that voice in his head didn't. That voice didn't trust a single thing this world had to offer. It told him she would go back to Ed. But really, she had done nothing to earn these presumptions. He really couldn't remember the last time he felt like a bigger asshole then he did right now.

"I just ain't never seen anything like you" he admitted. Hoping to explain himself so that she might understand. He felt her body stiffen slightly, before she rolled around in his arms. She moved until she was hovering over him with her arms leaning on his chest to support her.

She looked at him for a long time and he knew she was waiting on him to continue. He knew he had to keep going. That was the deal. If he was thinking something that could fuck with what they had, he needed to talk it out with her. Even if it made him uncomfortable.

"You just left him and I ain't never seen someone just do that shit without-…" he stopped, feeling his stomach twist at the thought of finishing the sentence and laying all those demons out for her to see. But this time when she hummed he could hear an understanding in it, she sounded much more committed to the sound.

He could see in her face that she understood and she actually looked relieved by what he'd said.

She smiled weakly at him.

"It's done with him Daryl. No one hurts my baby" she whispered to him firmly, though the words still sounded like the sweetest thing he'd ever heard.

"That's a part of what I ain't seen before." he said glancing over in Sophia's direction to see her tiny body curled up into a ball like a cat.

"It's how its meant to be. It's how I should have been since she was born. I should have-"

He groaned before she could continue and closed his eyes for a long moment. "Don't start this shit Carol."

He was happy to sit up and talk to her all night, but he couldn't listen to her do this to herself.

"I should have done it Daryl. I should have left him." she said shaking her head and he was shaking his head right along with her.

"He'd have killed ya" he said simply without any thought in voicing the words. They just came out.

He'd seen what Ed was like. He wasn't someone you just walked away from.

Even now Ed still watched Carol like a hawk. He still believed he had ownership over her. Carol had a handful of people that were willing to step intervene, most of them armed. She had him and he was ready to kill Ed if need be. But still Ed watched her and approached her without caution. He couldn't imagine her trying to do this all on her own. Unless of course she had no value on her life or her kid's.

"But he ain't gonna touch ya now. Neither of ya" he promised her, wanting his words to force out the dark thoughts that were seeping into his mind.

She sucked back a breath and nodded."She comes first"

He nodded back at her, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. That's how he wanted it. That was one of the things he liked most about her. Sophia was Carol's first priority.

She smiled and relaxed down onto his chest, pressing her chin onto her folded arms."But you already know that. You're the same. You protect her"

He relaxed right along with her and rooted around slightly to get comfortable. "I'm gonna protect both of ya" he said absently though a yawn.

Carol slid one of her arms out from under her chin and reached up to run her fingers through his hair. The gesture was enough to make his eyes close for a moment, it was comforting enough that it could have lulled him to sleep in a matter of minutes, if she hadn't started talking again and grabbed his attention back.

"I know that, and you do look out for us both. But you protect her first."

He opened his mouth to question her, but he instantly closed it when the words made his head spin, throwing forward memories that would prove she may be right.

It made him a bit uncomfortable. Not that he had in fact protected Sophia before he'd protected Carol, but that he hadn't realized he was doing it.  
Her hand settled over his cheek and he realized that he was starring past her, as his head continued to sought through what he had been told.

"It's nothing bad Daryl. It's how I want it to be."

She smiled at him and started soothing back his hair again. "It's one of the things I like most about you"

He furrowed his brow and smiled back at her, as she echoed his earlier thoughts back to him."Yeah?"

She dragged her lower lip through her teeth, the sight made his heart rate pick a little and he was sure because of her position she could actually feel it. Maybe that was why her grin grew even wider.

"Just one of them."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Daryl never moved as slowly as he did during that first hour after he woke. It always looked to her, like he had to force his body to move and his body protested against that force by trying to weigh him down.

When he would climb out of the tent in the mornings, it was as though his muscles were to heavy for him to carry, they made his shoulders slouch forward and his steps hit the ground heavier then she'd ever heard them, though they were still much quieter then anyone else she'd paid attention to.

But this morning he hadn't dragged his body from the tent before the sun rose. Today he'd stayed in their bed, with his arms locked tightly around her.

She knew he was awake, but she was almost to afraid to say anything, in case it made him realize that he was running late in his race against the daylight. A race that he always wanted a head start on, so that he could get as much done as possible before the sun set again.

She briefly wondered if he knew she was awake, before his hands started soothingly gliding back and forth over her lower back and arm, where his hands had been settled.

"Sleep good?"

The question was barely more then a whisper and if she hadn't been laying on top of him with his mouth so close to her ear, then she might not have heard it.  
She nodded her head into his chest and sighed when she felt the quick kiss that he planted in her hair, as he started shifting around, sliding her body of his.

She fought the urge to grab hold of him and stamp her foot, maybe thrash around on the mat and demand he stay. That's what she felt like doing. Throwing a tantrum. Because even though he had not been far from her over the last few days, she still felt as though she had only just gotten him back and she didn't really want to let him go.

But she was, unfortunately, an adult.

She knew he had things to do, important tasks that he was expected to complete and that meant she couldn't make demands on his time.

She laid still and watched him as he sat himself up and stretched out before leaning back on his palms.

She watched him far to closely, because Daryl was a creature of habit and everything he was doing right now was not in the routine he had created.

He starred straight ahead for a minute, still dazed from having woken up, before his head dropped to look down at her.  
His eyes always looked soft in the mornings, lighter and calmer. She thought it was because he hadn't had enough time, after waking up, to let the pressure of everything weigh him down and that left him looking much more at ease then he usually did. In the mornings, it seemed his biggest problem was that he needed to get out of bed.

"I'm not gonna go out today. But I'm gonna go set some snares nearby and have a look around. I'll be back in a few hours."

His light whisper sent a jolt of excitement through her body. She nodded enthusiastically and pulled her elbows back to lean forward. She knew the prospect of having him around for the day shouldn't have really excited her so much, but it did.

She was ready to follow him out and see him off just as she always did, but before she could push herself up, he was suddenly leaning over her.

"Nah, ya stay here. Rest some more" he whispered with a faint smile as he put his hand on her shoulder. There was no pressure in the touch. He wasn't holding her in place or pushing her back down, he was just hovering over. Wearing an expression that had her so stunned that she obeyed without question.

He looked her over for a long moment, chewing the corner of his lip before he leaned down and kissed her. He'd done nothing more then press his lips to hers, applying only the lightest bit of pressure, but when he pulled away the intense look in his eyes had deepened.

She didn't know what he was thinking right now, but she wished she did. What ever it had been, he must have finally caught himself in it, because his face was suddenly turning red before her eyes.

She smiled curiously at him. "What? What is it?"

He quickly dropped his eyes from her's and cleared his throat awkwardly, as if something he was thinking was choking him. "I'll be back real soon and we-… we'll have breakfast together."

She nodded in response, unable to do much more, especially when she could see how his face was burning right now, without any real reason, other then what was occupying his thoughts.  
Daryl shook his head as he let out a choked laugh. He darted his eyes from hers and quickly left the tent.

* * *

Most days when he fled the camp to hunt, the only thing that was on his mind was finding somewhere that was safe enough for him to…relieve some of the tension that had been built up. Who could blame him really. She basically slept on top of him and she smelt fucking amazing…then there was the making out, the touching, not to mention the fact that she was grinding up against him in the mornings. She was driving him damn near mad, but this morning she had struck something inside of him, that he couldn't quite wrap his head around.

There was no point in denying to himself how much it had turned him, but he needed to stop thinking about how she looked in his shirt. He'd thought about it far to much, so much that he feared he was entering into a creepy weird fetish zone. There was something about it that just hit him the right way. But he had no fucking clue why.

He had to get out of there, but he didn't want to leave her. Not today.

He'd excused himself so he could fix his problem, before burst into flames, and then he'd set the traps and made his way back to the camp.

Today he was going to stay nearby and sneak in as much time as he could with her. Even if that time was only really spent on helping her with laundry and preparing lunch. He didn't care. He wanted to be around her as much as he could.

When he got back to camp he could see the breakfast line thinning. As soon as she had spotted him, she had hurried everyone along and then prepared three more bowls.

He thanked her for the meal that she had not only cooked but also served him. And as always he noticed how uncomfortable the simple words made her. It was something he refused to stop doing, even though it made her look like she didn't know what to do with herself.

He didn't really mind making her uncomfortable, because that's exactly what she did to him when she constantly did all this shit for him. She was washing his clothes, cooking his meals and cleaning up after him. He tried to put a stop to it, but now it had gotten to the point where she was sneaking his dirty clothes away when he was off hunting.

He'd been doing these things for himself for as long as he could remember and it made him uncomfortable that she kept trying to wait on him like she was his maid.

He was going to have to say something, but he decided against doing it today. Today he just wanted to hang around her as much as he could, even if that meant just being with her while they worked her assortment of jobs around the camp.

The three of them settled in for their meal in their usual spots and he listened as Sophia and Carol started talking about a movie that Sophia apparently used to watch on repeat. Even though he thought she was to young to have heard of it.

There was a lightness to the conversation and in how they smiled and laughed at each others recollections. He found the sound of their voices soothing when they talked like this, because he'd never witnessed it at the quarry.

When they first arrived here, he could hear them in the tent at night, talking and laughing quietly amongst themselves, but lately those conversations had been drifting out of the safety of the tent and into the open.

The seating arrangement was done by design. His design. He'd put the fold out chairs across from him and he sat himself on the other side of the burnt out fire away from them. He'd done this so they could eat in peace without having to see Ed glaring at them through every meal. But he could still keep an eye on him.  
And most days he quietly applauded the idea in his head.

They were half way through their meal and Carol and Sophia were still talking about the movie and he was still quietly listening to the back and forth.

"That little fluffy thing…That part where he screams because they wanted to leave him behind" Sophia barely got her words out as she laughed at the memory and it was enough to make him smile. He'd thought that little fuzzball was funny too.

"What was his name?" Sophia asked as she took another mouth full of oatmeal. He was ready to answer her question when Carol quickly jumped in.  
"Fizzgig"

They didn't notice him nodding along with her answer before he went back to eating. They had been so caught up in the conversation that they hadn't taken any notice of him at all.  
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Sophia had stopped eating again and was holding her full spoon in the air.

"What was that movie called?" Sophia asked while rolling her eyes up, as though she could look in her own head and find the answer.

He waited for Carol to answer, but noticed her mirroring Sophia, attempting to have a peak inside her own head.

He narrowed his eyes at Carol after a full minute of waiting for her to answer the question.  
"Ya serious?" he asked, snapping them both out of their concentration.

"What?"

"Ya remembered Urzah, UrSkeks…just remembered Fizzgig. You spouted out every weird name in that movie, but ya cant remember what its called?" he laughed out.

He could see that she was offended and she was ready to give him a little piece of her mind, but obviously something else hit her.

"You've seen it?"

He hummed and smiled at her.

"You remember what it's called" she added with anticipation and relief in her tone.

Again he hummed and smiled at her, taking a big mouth full of his oatmeal.

He raised his brow at her and took much longer to chew then was necessary. She looked pissed, but she also had a devious grin on her face that he thought was pretty damn cute, so he wanted to let her stew for a minute.

As he opened his mouth to tell her the answer - Ed's loud voice suddenly cracked through the calm setting, giving Daryl a perfect view of both Sophia and Carol flinching and jumping in their seats.

Ed's aggression hadn't been directed at them, the moron had spilled his coffee on his lap. But it didn't matter. The sound of the mans voice was enough to bring everything to a standstill.

Sophia and Carol both went back to finishing their breakfast and their conversation was done. The looks on their faces sent a sick feeling into the pit of his stomach. They had grown quiet quickly and had both sank down a little in their seats, because they were still wired to react to Ed's outburst.

He knew exactly what they were feeling right now and remembering that feeling brought something to the surface that he had to work to push down.

* * *

Daryl liked routine. He liked repetition. He found it comforting and he would take it anywhere he could get it. It was in short supply during the end of the world, but he still found times when he could rest easy knowing that certain things would go a certain way.  
Pretty soon Sophia would be done with the school shit that she done with Lori, then she would help him gather up firewood.  
He knew in the evening he would help Carol out with dinner and the three of them would eat together.  
He knew that tonight, like every other night, he would crawl into their tent- he would go to bed with Carol in his arms and Sophia sleeping safely close by them.  
There were a bunch of little things like that, things he could count on, things that helped ease his stress because he didn't have wonder about what was coming next.

But this was one routine he was done with. This routine was driving him damn near insane.

"Wantcha to go over to Shane, ask him for the shot gun." he asked as he looked over at her.

A confusion wiped away the concern that Andrea's face had held a few seconds ago. He was happy she no longer looked like she was about to cry for the moment.

"What? Why?"

"Andrea, its dying, it's in pain. Let me put it out of it's misery" He pleaded.

Andrea's jaw obviously tightened as she swung her hand out and pointed to the junker "Can you fix the damn car or not?"

He shook his head to himself. He was frustrated with her. He couldn't help himself.

He'd had this conversation with her to many times to count and he didn't think he'd known her long enough to have already had repeated conversations. There were a million things he didn't know about Andrea, they had plenty to talk about. But they seemed to only ever discuss one thing.

He ducked his head back under the hood and continued to look it over, as though there was a shred of hope. He knew at this point he was just humoring her, he hoped that if it looked like he had put in a great deal of effort into saving the car, that she might let him get the gun.

He'd had actual fantasies about pushing the thing off a cliff or beating it with a baseball bat.

Even at the quarry he'd told her it needed to go, but she had insisted on keeping it, so he had forced a few more miles out of the thing.

There were cars everywhere, there was a whole highway full of em, she could have her pick, yet here they were once again, trying to breathe life into the rusted old corpse.

"Weren't you some fancy lawyer? Why you driving around in this shit box" he asked while he aimlessly poked and prodded things.

"I brought it when I was seventeen. I got a job, worked hard, and paid for it with my own money"

"How long and hard did you have to work to buy a 74 corolla coupe" he said in jest. He didn't really mean to be a prick to Andrea, mostly he just liked to rile her up and poking fun at her prized possession was an easy way to go about it.  
The car was a sore spot for Andrea and the more he poked fun at it- the more pissed she got, and his opinion, the more entertaining she was.

"What were you driving around when you were a kid smart ass"

He kept his head under the hood but pointed over to his truck, that was parked in its usual spot.

Andrea scoffed and he could almost hear her asshole smile mixed in with the sound. "Your just as sentimental as I am"

He paused at the words, before he sighed heavily and stood up to face her.

She was right, he was sentimental. He had caught himself being sentimental a hundred times over. And he had kicked his own ass for it, because it was a waste of time and energy.

But that's not what they were talking about here.

"This ain't about being sentimental. That's a good fuckin' truck. Always has been. Even when I brought it's broken ass. It just needed a bit of work, bit of my time. That's the first car I ever fixed on my own. I've slept in that car more then I've slept in a bed. Weren't great, but that truck always made sure I had a roof over my head. So yeah, I guess it means a fair bit to me and I understand where ya comin' from"

Andrea firmly nodded. She looked proud of herself, thinking she had just succeeded in proving her point and he had accepted defeat by delivering her a speech. She seemed to think she had won the argument because he had admitted that he loved the damn truck.

He wiped his grease stained hands over his pants and smiled at her.

"But if it was running like this piece of shit is, I'd chuck a match into it and warm myself by the flames." He quipped, watching as Andrea's proud smile faded.

"This shit here Andrea" He said nodding to the car. "It ain't safe. When this breaks down, and it will breakdown, what if you need it to keep goin? What if your life depends on it? You could die right along with it. This car worth more then your life?"

Andrea rolled her eyes, but he could see she was considering what he had said. He didn't mean to lecture her, he wasn't really in the habit of telling people what to do. But he didn't want to be told that Andrea got lost out there, or killed, because of an old run-down corolla.

She let out a defeated sigh, that was half mixed in with a infuriated groan.

"Well, I need something. We're going on a run tomorrow. I need a car, or I'm going to have to travel with your girlfriend's husband. Frankly, I'd rather take my chances with the car"

"Take my truck. You cant take this, less ya wanna push it the whole way"

Andrea released an exaggerated gasp and slapped her hand on to her chest."Take the make-out mobile? What will you and Carol do without it?"

He smirked at her and slammed the hood of her car down, with much more force then was necessary.

"We'll use your car. It's about the only thing this piece of shit here is useful for anyway. Besides, it was good enough for you and Merle, I'm sure me and Carol will be able to make do."

Andrea's eyebrows raised and she flashed him a grin that was quite obviously laced with a silent threat. He couldn't help but laugh at her.  
The more he talked to her, the more she let her guard down and the more he understood why her and Merle actually made sense.

It was easy for him to see why Merle would have been interested in her enough to sleep with her more then once, which was a rule Merle rarely broke. Merle Dixon didn't really do relationships, except for those few times he did. But when he did them - he did them quietly.

Merle bragged about every women he slept with, like they were trophies he won. As if they were proof of his great charm.  
It was the women that Merle didn't brag about that were the real achievements. Those were the the women that his brother had actually given a shit about. But he could count all those women, including Andrea, on one hand, and still have fingers to spare.

"I'll give you the keys later, when I get back from gettin the water"

Andrea crossed her arms and nodded as her eyes raked over the deceased car, a car that he had actually heard her refer to as "her baby" more then once.

He was ready to suggest a funeral, or a cremation, when Carol caught his eye, working on the laundry across the camp. His thoughts of offering to help her quickly morphed into something else that raised his interests. It was an idea he couldn't shake and he really didn't want to.

"Hey. You maybe wanna do me a favor"

The playful expression that Andrea had been holding quickly disappeared. Without even knowing what the favor was, she suddenly looked serious and ready to grant any request he had.

"What'd you need?"

* * *

"Ok, I'll take it from here." Andrea announced slapping Carol on the back before she dusted her hands together.

Carol looked down at the towel she had been folding and back to Andrea.

She doubted the towel was what Andrea intended to take off her hands, but she didn't have anything else to offer her so she eyed the women in the confusion.

"What? What are you taking?"

Andrea looked down and waved her hand over the table, narrowing her eyes at the piles of laundry that Carol had been folding. "This. I got it, you can go" Andrea said, while reaching out and trying to grab the towel that Carol was holding, but wasn't ready to hand over.

She frowned at Andrea and tugged the towel back.

"Where exactly is it you want me to go?"

Andrea smiled and gave the corner of the towel, that she was still holding, another hard yank, obviously finding the game of tug-of-war amusing. Finally Andrea gave in and smiled at her, nodding her head to the side.

She followed the gesture and looked over to see Daryl standing by his truck and her daughter sitting in it, both obviously waiting on her.

"They look eager. You better get a move on"

* * *

Carol approached the truck cautiously. She looked like a kid who had just been offered candy to jump in the white van with blacked out windows. Though she was skeptical, she still got into the truck without question.

Her sullen expression was more then enough to urge him forward. He was sure they needed this.

He nodded to her as he got settled and slammed his door shut. She frowned at him slightly and he could see that she was confused. But still she didn't ask him why she was invited on the trip that he and Sophia usually took alone.

"Ready?" He asked turning to Sophia, just as he always did before he started the truck.

Sophia looked down and he knew she was doing her own little mental checklist. Her head bobbed slightly as she silently ticked each thing off, before she finally nodded. "Ready"

Sophia nursed his pack on her lap, holding it tightly. He noticed Carol eyeing the kid, wondering what was going on, but still she didn't bring up the impromptu trip or the fact that Sophia had obviously had changed outfits. Though he was sure she noticed.

It was easy to take a guess at what they were doing, there wasn't really anywhere else for them to go. The truck wasn't used for anything else except to transport water from the stream to the camp. But even so, he wished she would ask instead of just following his requests without question. He certainty didn't expect that of her.

"Daryl"

Sophia's softened voice barely broke over the sound of the truck, as they slowly left the camp.

She seemed to sense that tension that was in the air around them and Sophia still assumed that meant that it was best to keep herself as quiet as possible.

"Yeah Soph?" he asked glancing down to where she was squashed in between him and Carol.

"What was the movie called?"

He'd had to strain his ears to hear what she was saying, then un-jumble the mumbling in his head to work out what she had asked him. He'd noticed Carol look over at them, but her eyes quickly jumped back to the window that she staring out of.

"The Dark Crystal"

Both Sophia and Carol had nodded with a flicker of recognition in their eyes, but neither of them spoke again as they drove down the trail.

There was no quick fix to what they were dealing with, he himself was still dealing with it seventeen years later. What he did hope was that he could at least offer them both a small bit of peace before the day was done.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Leave em"

Carols hand froze over the empty jug that was laying in the the tray of his truck. She frowned at him in confusion, but let her hand drop back down.  
"I can help you. You don't have to do it alone" she said, while he nodded along as she spoke.

"You can help me" he said before stopping to look at Sophia who still clinging to his pack, that he knew was a little to heavy for her to be carrying. But as always Sophia wanted to a task to complete and he guessed it couldn't be to heavy or it would have toppled her over by now.

"Us. You can help us" he corrected, eyeing Sophia making sure she wasn't bothered by the slip up. "When it's time, ya can. But we ain't down here to worry about fillin' the jugs"

Sophia smiled widely and dropped his pack to her feet, while he pulled his tightly rolled sleeping bag from the tray and fixed the strap of his crossbow over his shoulder.

"Brought you these Mom" Sophia announced as she snatched the clothing from his bag.

"I need to change?" She questioned Sophia, before her eyes snapped back to him. "What are we doing down her"

"Enjoyin' the day. Suns beatin' down on us, hotter then hell. Waters good and clear, so I thought we'd cool off."

Sophia bounced away with his pack and he quickly followed her, without a second thought. He was afraid that she was a bit to excited and might not wait for him to check the water.

He had realized, in the time he had known Sophia, just how easy the kid was to please. They came to the stream almost everyday, but simply changing their reasoning for the trip, seemed to add a new flare to the scenery.

"Wait, I wanna look first" he barked, making Sophia freeze in place. He scolded himself for the tone he had used, before he looked over and found that it hadn't seemed to upset her in the slightest. She still looked just as eager as she had moments before.

When he heard a sound behind him he checked over his shoulder and saw Carol jumping back into the truck. He guessed she was getting changed into the clothes Sophia had brought, so he kept his back to her, to give her some privacy.

"Is it good?" Sophia asked, bumping into his side as he checked for any walkers that had gotten caught in the deeper parts of the water. He hadn't ever seen any in the water, but he still checked each time. Sure that the one time he didn't check one would be in their waiting to grab at the kids limbs.

"Looks good enough"

He took a few steps forward and examined the water closer, but as usual there was no sign of anything.

"Just stay around here ok" he added waving his hand around the area in front of him.

Sophia nodded and dropped his bag, then she quickly went to work toeing her shoes and socks off.

As she made her way to the shoreline, he started unrolling the his sleeping bag onto the ground and undoing its zipper, to spread it out as much as he could.  
After he worked on creating a little space for them to relax in, he started going through what he was going to do next. Deciding how he was going to go about making lunch and wondering how long he could drag the imaginary vacation out.

"Daryl. I'm to busy to be doing this" He heard Carol mutter as she walked up behind him. He could hear to much urgency in her tone, so much that it made him feel like he was in a hurry right along with her. But they didn't have anywhere to rush off to.

"Ya ain't busy at all Carol." He told her as he went through the things he had packed.

He turned his head slightly, seeking her out."Right now all ya gotta do is sit and-"  
As his eyes landed on her he couldn't help but choke out a sound.  
He didn't mean to stare, but he hadn't seen her legs before. And the shorts were….short. As soon as his eyes landed on them his mind instantly tossed fantasies at him and he was unable to ignore them.  
"And relax. You deserve to relax." he choked out.

"I have to be back there- very soon. I'm supposed to start making lunch" Carol pointed out while looking over at Sophia who was dipping her feet into the water.  
She hadn't noticed the dumb struck expression that he knew he was wearing. For that, he was grateful.  
The sight of her in those shorts had brought on something similar to the urgency Carol was feeling, but he had more intriguing ideas in his head. He felt an urging to do something completely different to those things Carol was convinced she needed to handle.

"Andrea and Jackie are gonna do it. And I'm sure, if Lori wants to eat, she might be able to muster the energy to help. But you, me and Sophia, we're eating lunch down here. Gonna relax right here."

Carol shook her head and he could see genuine concern in her eyes."Daryl I can't-"

"Cant relax?" he asked cutting her off and narrowing his eyes. The look on her face was enough to distract him from the thoughts he'd had a minute earlier.

Sophia snorted loudly, before she managed to contain the sound. He looked over just in time to see her actually smirk at him. The girl wasn't known for being a smart ass, but she seemed to find the assumption highly amusing and he knew why.

He looked back to Carol and raised his brow at her."Can't do it, can ya? Cant just stop?"

Carol huffed, obviously a little frustrated. Suddenly he felt as though he'd kidnapped the women. Dragged her away to a horrible afternoon by the water and away from the luxury of washing peoples clothes and feeding them like a pack of useless infants.

He didn't want her to be pissed at him, it kind of defeated the purpose of bringing her down here in the first place.  
He chewed his lip for a moment as he considered what he might say to help her settle in.

"Listen. It's all taken care of. I'm gonna make ya lunch soon and were gonna stay down here while Soph has a swim in the water. She brought you the shorts in case you wanted to join her."

Carol looked back over to her daughter who was slowly making her way deeper into the stream. The water was barely above her knees, high enough that she could glide her fingertips over the water's surface.

He watched as Carol's face softened slightly at the sight of Sophia, but still noticed her whole form tighten at the thought of trying to relax.

* * *

It occurred to him after an hour, that he had never seen Carol really sit still, especially if there was work to do. It also seemed that no one had ever requested that Carol sit still before.  
He couldn't imagine Ed promoting the idea that his wife take some time for herself to relax. But he was going to push that shit, even if it ended with her smacking him upside the head, which was something he was sure she had considered since their arrival.

His eyes snapped to the movement, catching the sight of her hand closing around the can. He shook his head, leaning over the food he was preparing to take it from her, growling out a frustrated sound that he hadn't meant to make. She groaned out a similar sound in response.

"Ya know I can cook right? Long, long, long time ago, before I met you, I used to cook my own meals. Hell, I even washed my own clothes. Crazy I know."

"Why cant I help?" she asked narrowing her eyes at him and he mirrored the expression.

"That's the thing, you can help. I know you can. You do this shit all day. The real question here is, can you sit back and let someone else do the work?"

He'd kept his voice leveled, he'd kept his tone light and lined it with feigned amusement, just so she wouldn't get too pissed at him. But didn't seem to work.

He noticed her shoulder lock and stiffen in place, he even noticed the very brief shake of her chin, before she reined it all back in and turned away from him.

She went back to watching Sophia play in the water and left the question he'd asked hanging there, unanswered.

She had an uncomfortable look on her face, it was that same one she wore whenever he thanked her for the many things she did for him.

The more he tried to get her to relax, the more tense she seemed to get. A part of him thought it might be more relaxing for her if he just let her take over and make the damn lunch, but it just didn't sit right with him.

She worked all day getting things done around the camp, she was constantly on the go, just so other people could relax and enjoy the end of the world in peace. He thought she liked to stay busy and he could understand that. But now he wondered now if she felt like she _had_ to keep busy. He wondered if she thought she had no other choice but to keep going.

He scrapped the food from the tray into the pot and left it heating over the small fire he'd made. He'd done it. For the first time since he had met her, he was cooking Carol a meal that she hadn't had a hand in making. Even if he did have to fight her every step along the way.

"Aren't you hot?" Sophia called out from the water where she had been making small laps back and forth. It wasn't clear who the question was directed at, but he assumed it was to Carol.

He looked over to the girl and and forced a smile at her.

The sun was beating down on them and the faint breeze that was hitting them was dry and only made the heat more unbearable.

He left the food to cook, knowing it would take a good bit of time before it was ready, and started toeing his shoes off. He didn't have shorts so he settled for rolling his pants up to his knees.

He decided that he needed to push the women to relax. Even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming to the land of unwinding.

* * *

By the late afternoon when they had returned to the camp, he had successfully archived his goal of making Carol relax and he had also found a way to put a smile on her face, one that stayed planted on her lips long into the evening.

The three of them sat outside their tent eating the dinner that Carol had prepared with Andrea.

Sophia was reading and tuning them out. She'd fallen asleep when they were by the stream but it was obvious that she was still exhausted from the long excursion they had taken.  
He sat alongside Carol, listening while she told him about some weird movie she had watched years ago. She told him that she was lucky enough to be awake in the middle of the night, at the exact right time, to catch the movie that was so strange it had stayed stuck in her head.

He was focused on the story she was telling him, until the ring caught his eye again. He decided to make his peace with the piece of jewelry, whatever it had symbolized, it didn't matter anymore. He wasn't going to let it be a problem and he wasn't going to let bullshit cloud his head so much that he pushed her away again.

After the day he had spent with her, it seemed stupid to ever let something so small get between them.

It was then that the story Carol was telling him was suddenly brought to a halt. He instantly dropped his gaze back to his food, but it had been too late.

Carol paused looking at her hand. He glanced back up at her, seeing her gaze caught on the ring she had quite obviously forgotten about.

He gave her a small smile, trying to assure her it didn't matter. Because it didn't. It was just a damn ring.

"What were ya sayin'" he asked as he took another bite. She returned a faint smile and started babbling about the movie again, but without the same enthusiasm she had minutes before. He listened to every word, asked her questions and made sure she knew he was interested, but it was obvious now that her mind was elsewhere.

* * *

There were only a few in the group left awake and he found it much more relaxing without so many eyes on him, knowing that he and Carol weren't the source of everyone's entertainment.

Glenn and Shane were on watch, while Dale and T-dog, who had been talking for most of the night, were sitting by the fire they'd made outside of the RV.

Carol had sent Sophia off to bed hours before and now it was just him and her leaning into each other, watching the flames dance in front of them. She rested her head on his shoulder, and for the first time, he didn't look around to see who was watching when he planted a kiss in her hair and moved closer to her.

"Warm enough?" he asked quietly, hearing her hum in reply, but he didn't know if the humming sound was a yes or no.

He grabbed another stick and snapped it in half before throwing it on the fire. He was ready to relax back into her side when she suddenly jumped to her feet.

"I'll be right back", he was so shocked by the sudden movement that he didn't have a chance to respond.

He watched her walk, or rather march, over to Dale and ask him something, before they both disappeared out of sight.

He watched in confusion as she emerged from the RV with a excited smile on her face, making her way over to him, with something tightly in her grasp.

She sat down in front of him, crossing her legs and handing him the small bolt cutters.

"Will you help me?"She asked with a smile.  
He raised his brow at the question, puzzled about what she wanted him to do with the tool.

"Last time someone gave me bolt-cutters and asked for my help, I ended up in a shit load of trouble"

She laughed and shook her head, holding her hand out in front of him.

"Dale said it should work" he looked down at her hand realizing what she wanted him to do.

"You don't have to. It don't bother me" he said softly as he leaned in closer to her.

"It bothers me." She said with an unquestionably certain tone, shaking her head as she spoke. "I haven't been able to get it off in years, this is the only way."

He looked at the ring and back to her, examining the smile that was still spread over her lips. She looked eager and ready, he had no right to question that. Selfishly, he didn't want to.

He nodded to himself and took her hand, placing it on his knee with her palm facing up. He positioned the cutters, sliding one side under the tight band and eyed her.

"Does that hurt?" he asked, seeing how tightly the tool was wedged between her finger and the ring.

"It doesn't" she answered, with her eyes fixed on it like she was waiting on him to cut handcuffs from her wrists. With that thought he squeezed down and watched the gold split open. He slid the cutters out and used his fingers to bend the broken band, removing the proof of her marriage from her hand.

He looked at the broken and twisted ring before handing it to her, not knowing what else to do with it.

He had only just placed it on her hand when she quickly tossed it into the fire without a second thought. His eyes followed the small object over to the flames, in shock at the swift reaction.

His mouth was hanging open when he looked back over to her, he wasn't sure what he had expected her to do with it, but he hadn't expected her to seemingly not care in the slightest.

Her palms reached up and rested on his cheeks bringing him forward so she could place a small kiss on his lips, before she pulled away.

"I'm tired. Let's go to bed"

He nodded in agreement to the request, leaning in and kissing her once more before they headed into the tent. Into their tent. Together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

He was rigging up the simple alarm system, that had been made of of cans and rope, when he was interrupted.

"Need a hand? I ain't…- I ain't doing anything else. Thought maybe I could help you out"

He quickly wiped the pissed-off look from his face when he saw T-dog hovering beside him.

The man was always overly nice to him, kept the conversation light and kept his distance as much as possible, unless he thought Daryl required his presence. Though he didn't need T-dog to bother going out of his way to give him space. Daryl was just as uncomfortable around him as he was around anyone the rest of the group. The only people he was comfortable around, enough to truly speak his mind, was Carol, Sophia and Andrea. He was still a little uncertain about the rest of them.

"That'd be good. Ain't hard, just a bit, ya know, awkward to do with one set of hands. If you could grab the other end, stretch it out, tie it down, maybe it wouldn't be so slack in the middle.

T-dog nodded his understanding and walked to the other end of the rope and began untying it so they could stretch it out and cover more ground.

Glenn had had presented the idea of the primitive alarm system, though Glenn didn't want to explain to the group how he had come up with it. But in private, while they were fixing the pieces together, Glenn explained that he had seen a similar rigging while he was out scavenging. He had seen it surrounding a camp that had long been emptied.

Glenn didn't want to tell the group any of this, in case they pressed him about what he had seen. But he had told Daryl that it was obvious, that the camp had been overrun by walkers and that he couldn't even salvage any of the supplies left there, because they were all drenched in the remains of the unfortunate group.

He thought Glenn was right to keep that information to himself too. It didn't exactly instill confidence in the alarm or their chances of survival.

As if T-dog could read his mind he asked the same question that was stirring around in his own head.

"You think this will work? Think it could help us?"

He shrugged and kept his eyes focused on tying the rope to the trunk of a tree. "Give us a bit of warning. I'll take it. I'll take any warning that those things are around. Especially at night when it's harder to see the fuckers comin'"

T-dog hummed his understanding and continued on with the job, obviously lost in his own thoughts.

They had in total six long strands of rope that he and Glenn had spent the evening threading and tying on anything that would make a noise when banged together. And now he and T-dog were talking their time stringing them up and creating what they thought was a safe barrier for the camp.

He had his head down working when T-dog broke the silence they had been settled into.

"Carol"

His head to snap up in T-dog's direction, waiting for the man to finish his sentence.  
"Huh?" he grunted, when it was clear that T-dog wasn't going to continue.

"There. She's heading over" T-dog explained, nodding towards the camp, before he ducked his head back down to finish what he was doing.

He looked over his shoulder to find her making her way over to him with a faint smile lingering on her lips, just as it had been for days.

He was sure something had shifted in the space around them.

It had been a week since he'd taken Carol and Sophia to the stream and ever since their return, it felt as though the pull between them was stronger then it had been before. That was something he didn't think was possible.  
He could feel it at night when she slept in his arms, he could see it in her eyes when he returned back to the camp after hunting, and he could hear it in her voice when ever she spoke to him.

Everything just felt softer, that was the only way he could describe it. The sharp edges of the tension between them had become blissfully blunt. They were edges he hadn't even known existed, until he noticed them disappearing.

He smiled back at her a wiped his hand over his face to remove the sweat that was on constant supply, now that summer was truly starting to set in.

"Hey. You good? Where's Soph?" he asked as she made her way over.  
She nodded as he spoke and looked around at the work he and T-dog had been doing.  
"With Lori and Carl in the RV. Shane, he's just outside."

Lately she had been taking breaks, no matter how small they were. During the small breathers, she always made her way over to him and Sophia and took sometime to check in with them, chat for a few minutes and enjoy herself for a brief period of time before she got back to what she had been doing.  
He knew what they had talked about at the stream had made a difference, it had made her reassess some of the things she was caught up in. In truth no one really seemed to notice the small change in her routine, but he had.

"Dinner is cooking. It'll be ready soon and I wanted to make sure you knew."

He nodded back at her. "Sounds good. Damn good. I could eat a horse"

"Would you settle for a rabbit?"

He smirked at her and tilted his head to the side, pretending to be in consideration of the offer."Guess that will have to do. You gonna finish up for the night, after you done cookin'"

She took a step closer and he instantly felt his heart rate pick up, simply being near her was enough to send his whole body into a frenzy. He had a feeling she was aware of that and maybe she even liked knowing the effect she had on him.

She took his hand in hers and he couldn't help but let his eyes drift down to the simple contact as she spoke.

"I know you have to go out again tomorrow. But I thought maybe you might want to go on watch - just for a little while. After Sophia is asleep?"

He choked out a noise that obviously amused her and didn't make any attempt to try to cover it over.

He didn't go on watch much these days. He was always relieved of the duty when he had to hunt the next day. He knew that Carol knew that. And he knew that she had no intention of watching over the camp.

He nodded again like a senseless moron and quickly glanced over her shoulder towards the camp before leaning down to kiss her.

When he pulled back he noticed her drag her lower lip through her teeth as though she was trying to savor something he had left there. As she took a few steps backwards, she kept her eyes on his until she turned and headed back to the camp. Unashamedly, he let himself stand there a few seconds longer then necessary to watch her.

He rubbed at the back of his neck as she walked away and let the moronic smile stay there, even if it felt out of place on his face.

When he turned back around he found T-dog standing there waiting on him with a wide grin.

"What?"

"You a lucky bastard." T-dog said as he reached down to grab one of the last ropes they had left, ready to begin rigging it up, just as they had done with the others.

He didn't really know what to say to that. There was million ways he could take the statement, but he decided that it was unlikely that T-dog meant any harm. And the truth was, most of the time he felt pretty damn lucky that a women like that would give him even a little of her time, let alone give him all her time.

* * *

He hadn't been surprised when she undid his pants and slipped her hand down under the elastic of his boxers. He knew she was only returning the favor from minutes before when he had slid his hand into her pants.

He moaned desperately and burrowed his face into her neck, breathing heavily against the soft skin there. Slowly but with purpose her hand slide down against his flesh and then back again, repeating this action multiple times until he was clinging to her and groaning as the shudder ran through him.

It never took long for her to coax it out of him, but after making-out with her for forty minutes, with her grinding against him, and with the memory of watching her reach her own peak, still fresh in his mind - he didn't think anyone could really blame him for having little to no stamina once her hand made contact with him.

This new development had been her idea and he wasn't going to complain. What he did do was make sure she left the truck just as content as he did.

"Fuck" he breathed out before he planted a hard kiss into her neck. Carol hummed in agreement and slowly slid her hand out of his pants.

He could barely see straight while she reached for the old shirt he had left in the cab of the truck to wipe her hand off on.  
His breathing was still labored and by the look on her face she was still coming down from her own high.

She leaned back from him slightly, but stayed straddling his lap, as she curled her hands around the back of his neck, to rest them there.

"Good?" he asked peering up at her.

She looked sleepy, but he knew it was more that she was just relaxed and he hoped, satisfied. "I think you know?"  
He nodded at her a smirked "I think everyone knows"  
She quickly let go of his neck with one of her hands and used it to playfully swat at his chest. "Asshole"  
He laughed at her and felt his own exhaustion of the day starting to set in. "Kiddin'. No one heard…except maybe Shane"

Carol rolled her eyes and her rested her hand back around his neck again and relaxed.

At this point he figured she was used to the idea of Shane being in earshot. Sometimes when they emerged from the Truck they found him further away from his designated area, but even then, he doubted that Shane was unable to hear at least some of what was going on.

"Everything go ok today?"

He narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out what she was referring to and she must have seen the look that crossed over his face.

"With T-dog." She added. "You two were working on the ….rope thing, for awhile and I was just wondering if everything went ok between you"

He barely shrugged his shoulders, the movement was so weak that there was a chance she would have missed it.  
"I don't hate T-dog. He might think I do. Maybe everyone does, I guess. But I don't" he mumbled out as he rubbed his hands back and forth over her hips.

Carol nodded slightly and he could see her lazily thinking over what he had just said.

There wasn't much space in the cab of his truck, they were crammed so tight that she only had to arch her back slightly and she was resting against the back of the driver-seat. But she didn't seem to mind. She seemed quite happy to stay on his lap in the cramped space.

"Your not even a little angry about what happened?" she questioned, her voice barely more then a whisper and he felt her thumbs move over the skin on his neck, soothing him, because she most likely assumed he needed it while talking about his brother.

"I'm pissed about what happened." he admitted, but he was far to relaxed to let any of his real feelings about the situation seep into his tone.

"But you don't blame T-dog" Carol pressed.

"Accidents happen. I don't know him real well,..but I think I know him well enough to know that he ain't the type to hurt someone on purpose. He ain't cruel."

He quietly laughed to himself and shook his head.

"Andrea told me some of the crazy shit Merle was sayin' on that roof. Some of the racist shit he was spoutin'. Hell, even if T-dog did leave Merle up there on purpose, I might even be able to understand that too. No one likes bein' treated like shit"

He couldn't hold much against T-dog. Andrea had told him what Merle had said to the man. And even with the horrible shit that Merle had spouted on that rooftop, T-dog still had remorse for leaving his racist, dangerous, drug addict brother there.  
T-dog had apologized, time and time again for his part in leaving Merle behind and he seemed to actually regret how that day panned out. Those were feelings that he had never really felt Rick express, even in the slightest. And maybe that was why it was easier for him to put the blame on the ex-officer.

"They made it sound like he lost his mind. Like he snapped. Do you believe that?" Carol sounded skeptical, he could almost hear her calling bullshit on the whole story.  
He dropped his eyes and chewed on the thought for a minute, before nodding and meeting her eyes again.

"Sometimes when he's high, he can loose it. Become irrational and dangerous. I'm pretty good at talking him down, I know the right shit to say. But it would be hard for someone else to get him to come to his senses"

"Is he nicer when he's sober?"

He smiled lightly at her hopeful tone and he wished he had a better answer for her.

"Not really. Merle's a prick, he's always been an prick. He weren't given to many options to be anything but what he is. But he's more rational when he's sober, easier to get along with. He doesn't say so much shit - just in the hopes of getting a rise outta people"

"You think that's why he said those things to T-dog? To get a rise out of him?"

"Merle's a lot of things…. but not all of them are his own doing. Maybe I'm being to easy on him, but- but when someone put's dumb shit in ya head, sometimes you start repeating that dumb shit"

It was the kind of thing he didn't talk about with anyone. But as time went on he was sure he could talk to Carol about anything. It made everything inside of him feel a little less stuck in there.

Carol looked at him seriously for a moment and nodded her understanding and he knew she understood the point he was trying to make.

Merle may have been the most close-minded person on earth, but the outdated and hateful ideas he had were not of his own creation, but rather ones that had been implanted at an early age.

When Merle was high, especially when he was high, their fathers asshole-voice seemed to find a way to crawl into Merle and use him as an instrument, to carry on the bullshit he had preached while he was alive. And sadly enough Merle allowed it.

When Merle was sober he still had an awful way of talking and made comments that were down right nasty, but the bitter bite wasn't laced into his words and it was noticeable to the people on the receiving end of his brothers insults.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have brought it up." Carol said suddenly and a little to nervously for his liking.

He continued to run his hands over her hips in hopes to calm the bout of anxiety that had hit her without much warning. "Talk about anything ya wanna talk about. Ain't no rules or regulations. Besides, I'm not upset."

Carol eyed him closely and he could tell she wasn't convinced."Your sure?"

He hummed and tightened his grip on her slightly."Might be mistaken me being upset, for being dog-tired. You ready to go to bed?"

She chewed her lip for a moment and he could see that she was still waiting on him to show his true feelings, even though he already had.

She head shook lightly "I really didn't mean to-"

Before she could finish he yanked her forward and lifted his back of the seat to meet her as she came closer towards him.

"You done good then, cause ya didn't."

The shock from the sudden movement quickly faded from her face and she could see the intention behind it. She pressed her lips to his but neither of them made any move to deepen the kiss. It was a good sign that she was just as exhausted as he was.

When he pulled away she looked much more relaxed and he was happy he was able to push her in that direction, because he didn't want her thinking he was pissed. Especially when he wasn't.

"Come to bed with me?" he asked quietly as he curled his arms around her waist.

Rather then answer him, she began crawling of him and straightening her clothes. He was more then happy to leave the truck and call it a night, because even when they did leave, he knew he wouldn't be leaving her. He was going to crawl into the comfort of their tent and sleep with her, safely wrapped over him.

* * *

**A/N: I had a conversation about the _stream scene_ and how it will come back into the story and I just want to point out again that this story contains _flash-backs, _and they will come up later on. There are a lot of time jumps that you may have noticed and also some details of Daryl and Carol's relationship that have been skipped over, but I promise this has been done on purpose.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Finished"

The sudden sound of Sophia's voice caused him to jump back slightly.

He looked down to find her holding her emptied bowl out towards him. He took the plate from her and put it into the bucket that was reserved for cleaning dishes, then started scrubbing the dried oatmeal from it.

For once Carol hadn't insisted on cleaning the dishes, she seemed to accept that it was easier to let him take over the small chore. It seemed reasonable to him, that she allow him to do it. Especially since she had both cooked and served the meal and was on her way to cleaning the seemingly bottomless collection of dirty clothes.

He wondered if she couldn't be bothered arguing over something so simple, knowing the argument would take longer then the task itself, or if she had just accepted that she had already done enough for him this morning. Honestly, he wasn't sure which it was. Either way she had let it slide and though it wasn't much, he thought they were at least heading in the right direction.

As he finished cleaning their dishes and a few other things that had been left behind from when the meal was being cook, he noticed that Sophia was still beside him.  
She leaned her elbows onto the table and absently dragged her finger over the surface, as though she was drawing something only she could see. No matter what imaginary game she was stuck on right now, it was obvious that she had every intention of sticking with him this morning.

Though neither she or Carol spoke it aloud, he had noticed that they both seemed more content when he didn't go on daylong hunting trips. And as valued as it made him feel, it also made it harder when he knew he simply had to go.  
This camp was their home, it had been months, and he hated knowing they felt uncomfortable in their own space.

"We should go down to the stream for a drive, get some more water. Might as well have a look for some fire wood while were down there. Two birds, one trip" He said to Sophia while he dried of their dirty plates and stored them with the rest.

"I'm not ready"  
He looked down, noticing the kid was still wearing the pajama pants that sported a pattern of angry ducks all over them.

He gave her a nod, "Well, go get ya ass ready. I'll wait by the truck" he said watching as she bounced from his side, before he had even finished talking.

He openly starred at the Carol as he made his way over to his truck and leaned his hip into the tray. She was caught up in a conversation with Lori. She was laughing and giving Lori a light shove at whatever joke Lori had just made.

He hadn't noticed it until now, but she was different. She'd changed so quietly that he hadn't noticed.  
It was hard to say how long they had been at the camp. Dale had apparently been attempting to keep track of time, but he had never felt the need to ask the old man. By looking at Carol right now, he could have easily been convinced they had been here for years.

That crying women he saw walking up the trail, battered and bruised, she seemed like a completely different person to the one he was watching now. The thought grabbed his attention, wondering if there was a moment he had missed or if it was a bunch of small ones he hadn't, and they were what made her into this woman standing before him.

She looked…. happy.

When he finally pulled himself from his daydreaming, he realized he had been standing there for good while. He started to wonder just how long it had been and what taking the kid so long.

He turned around to look for her, to tell her to hurry it up.

She had held up their chores before, though he never cared. He assumed he would find her as he always did, that she would be chatting away to Carl and loosing track of time. Sometimes Amy caught her attention for some reason or another and he was left waiting for Amy to finish putting clips and crap in Sophia's hair, simply because sometimes it struck Amy that she might want to play with Sophia's short hair.

He scanned the camp for her and when his eyes landed on her, the air was knocked out of his chest.

Ed was kneeling in front of her, using Carol's tent as a shield to hide himself away from the rest of the group, who were far to occupied to notice.

For a single second he froze and took in the scene. The pricks finger was pointed in her face as he spoke to her and his eyes were narrowed in on hers. But that wasn't what made him brake inside. It was the kid. The devastated expression saturating her soft features had made every drop of blood in his veins boil.

"Sophia!"

He didn't realize it, until after her name left his mouth, that he had expected a specific response from her. He had gotten used to her chasing after him and seeking his protection. So much so, that when she turned to look at him with nothing but anger filling her expression, he was left with a sick feeling flooding in his stomach.

She glared at him, looking him up and down, like she was seeing him for the first time. It was almost enough to stop him in his tracks. Almost.

It was all over in a few seconds.

He could hear Carol running up behind him, he could hear her calling out to both him and Sophia.

He could see Ed nodding his head off in their direction and the kid leaving Ed's side, at her father's command.

He slowed his running as she got close to him and he instinctively started checking her over.

And while he looked her over for blood or bruises the kid continued to glare at him, as if he was the source of all her problems and the cause of many more still to come. He continued to scan her from head to toe, looking for something physical that could explain the expression she held.

That's when the heat in his chest became unbearable.

He flew past the kid and straight at Ed and Ed didn't move an inch. His arm swung and his fist collided into Ed's jaw, long before his mind had decided to throw the punch. Then that was it.

Before he could continue, he was being dragged away by multiple hands.

He could hear Rick in his ear, asking what happened. The exact question that he himself wanted an answer to.

"What did you do" he demanded, yelling over everyone else that surrounded him.

Ed rubbed his jaw and narrowed his eyes, as a cruel smirk began to spread on his mouth.

Daryl attempted to lunge forward, causing Ed let out a light chuckle.

He demanded to know what he had said to the kid once more. But Ed had nothing to say, no excuses or antagonizing responses. He apparently had expected the hit and even welcomed it.

Whatever happened, had been planned and he knew that in the pit of his stomach. He knew the strategy Ed had been planning had finally emerged and he had failed to protect Sophia from it.

"Daryl. Go! We'll handle this" Rick roared, in amongst the threats that Daryl had been yelling, his own hopeless attempt to get Ed to talk, or at least wipe the smug look from his face.

T-dog and Glenn had been working to pull him back, trying to get him to regain his senses, and finally he gave into their efforts.

As his head swung around he could see Carol, kneeing in the dirt trying to talk to her daughter.

The kid's eyes were fixed straight ahead, as if she was looking straight past her mother and at something dark and dangerous. He could see it in her eyes, she was suffering through the kind of pain that stung your throat and burnt your eyes. And he knew it was his fault.

He knew Ed wasn't going to say anything, there was no way the prick was going to give an inch when he had obviously gotten the reaction he had hoped for.

He swung himself free from Glenn and T-dog's hold on him, moving past them to drop himself to his knees, in the dirt next to Carol.

"What did he say to you?" he questioned trying to keep his voice steady, watching as the kids eyes slowly moved from Carol to him.

Her expression remained unchanging, assuring him that something was very wrong. As her eyes met his, he could see the evidence that remained from the mere minutes she spent with her father. There was resentment, rage and heartache swimming in in her gaze, all of it directed at him and Carol.

"Sophia what happened?" Carol lightly pleaded. He knew the hushed tone was an attempt to get the kid to stop looking at them like they ruined her life. Like they were going to hurt her. But Sophia didn't soften to it, if anything, it seemed to only make things worse and he watched as her jaw shook and her eyes glistened with tears.

Whatever he had said to her, it had crushed everything inside of her and he didn't know how to fix it.

He reached out without thinking, his fingers only lightly grazing the kids arm before she stepped back quickly, leaving them both speechless as she turned and ran into the tent.

It took him a moment to notice that Carol had stood up, he had expected her to run after Sophia, but that wasn't what had brought Carol to her feet.

He looked up just in time to watch as she flew at Ed, her hands instantly reaching for his throat.

A part of him wanted to let her go and let her attack him. She had every right to, it had been a long time coming. But the rest of him was screaming to stop her.

One of them had already gotten hurt today and he wasn't about to make it two for two.

Seconds after she collided with Ed, Daryl wrapped his arms around her waist and started pulling her back, as she demanded to know what he said to her daughter.

But it didn't do any good.

Ed observed her reaction with the same satisfied look, his eyes skimming her up and down, taking in her emotional state like it was a drug he had been missing.

* * *

He sat outside the tent, his gun in his grasps and the crossbow by his feet.

He quietly listened to Carol, trying to get Sophia to talk to her, trying to coax Sophia into saying anything at all. But there was never a reply to the questions Carol asked.

The only thing he heard the kid say, was that she was going to sleep. The kid's words were cold and dismissive, bearing a tone that he didn't even know she was capable of conjuring. He knew it would hit carol like a truck, because he himself felt even sicker then he had when he heard the simple words muttered.

Rick said that maybe the kid was confused by his parent's separation, maybe she missed her father. There were a hundred different maybes, but he didn't buy one of the fairy tales that Rick had created, in order to keep the peace. That had been Carl's story, not Sophia's. She hadn't been confused about why her father was no longer an active member in her everyday life, she wasn't an idiot, she knew why Ed had been cut off from communicating with them. And she didn't miss Ed. The few times when Ed had so much as looked like he might cross Sophia's path, Sophia's path had changed, because Sophia was horrified of him.

He knew Rick had his own reasons for spinning the crap he had been spinning. But he also knew that Rick wasn't stupid. He was just trying to maintain the peace. So Rick had put all of his energy into trying to calm him down. He hadn't needed to waste this time on Ed, because Ed seemed very calm and very fuckin pleased with himself.

Ed had kept his cool, he didn't try to continue the fight after he'd been hit. If anything, Ed had made him look like a psychopath, a lunatic who attacked a man that only wanted to speak to his own kid.

That was the story he was trying to sell to them all. It was that simple, Ed apparently missed his daughter and wanted to talk to her.  
He didn't know if any of them believed Ed or not. He hadn't asked.

But if they did believe Ed, Daryl would wonder what kind of lives they had lived, that had been so damn sheltered that they could not see that something very fuckin big had taken place in those few minutes. Everything had changed and no one could tell him why. Sophia was obviously traumatized and Ed was to blame. But once again, nothing was being done about it.

She came out of the tent and sat beside him. Both their bodies were stiff and tense, both looking across the camp to Ed's tent.

They both knew Ed wasn't going to emerge from the tent anytime soon. By no stretch of the imagination, he knew Ed was in that tent sleeping soundly, knowing the chaos he had caused.

And though they knew it would be a long time before Ed showed himself again, they still couldn't take their eyes of the tent.

"I don't know what happened" he confessed as forced his eyes to the fire.

"She was only gone for a few minutes…I think… I mean- she was..." he added as his eyes narrowed, playing the event over in his head.

"It's not your fault" she replied softly as she rested her hand on his knee.

He noticed, that even in amongst her anguish and distress, there were still traces of warmth and compassion when she spoke, though he didn't understand how.

This was his fault.

He wasn't paying attention to the kid, when he had sworn not to take his eyes off her.

He didn't expect forgiveness for that, and even if she offered it, he could never bring himself to accept it.

He angled his body, so that he was facing her, and grimaced at his own thoughts, hating the question he wanted to ask. But it didn't stop him from voicing it.

"You know him better than anyone. Right?" he asked cautiously.

She froze for a moment, then nodded in response, her eyes still fixed on Ed's tent.

"What do you think he said to her?"

Her head turned to his direction, but her eyes were fixed on his chest like she was scanning through a thousand memories, trying to find the answer to his question.

Suddenly her brow knitted together and her lips straightened into a fine line, before her head slowly shook as her eyes snapped up to his.

"I don't know" she admitted, her tone flooded with a distress that kept him awake long after everyone else in their tent had fallen asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

As usual, he woke up just before the sunlight had even started to fill the small space and he prepared himself to sneak out of the tent, as he always did.

Every day when he attempted to get out of the tent unnoticed, he was reminded that Carol was a light sleeper, though he never let his mind wonder far enough to question why that trait existed. Those kinds of thoughts would pull at the very thin thread he was struggling to hang onto.

He knew it wasn't a good idea to ignore all of the very real issues he and Carol still had to deal with, but it didn't seem to stop either of them from ignoring them. There was intimacy, inadequacy and trust issues they both needed to work through, but focusing on them seemed like a luxury that they didn't have time to address.

There were a lot of things he and Carol didn't talk about. It just never seemed like the right time and it never felt like there was enough time. She had never mentioned the scars on his back and he never talked to her about everything that had happened to her before the world came to a halt.

They never talked about the past or the future, they simply lived in the now. It was the only way either of them knew how to exist and he didn't know how to change that. He didn't know if he was up to the challenge of changing that.

The only time they really talked about their relationship was when either one of them feared it was coming to an end. That was when they sat down and talked through what ever was worrying them. But the simple discussions were never dragged out and they never really tried to dissect it to find the real underlying issue. Even though they both knew they existed.

For once Carol didn't stir when he slid himself out from under her and he knew it was because she had barely slept the night before. He had hardly slept either, but he felt far to sick with himself to even bother trying.

Yesterday he had made plans to go hunting, before everything had gone so horribly wrong, but there was no way he was leaving now. He didn't even consider going out to set traps or to hunt down small game close by.

He didn't think he could push himself to so much as take a step away from the camp, unless he had both Carol and Sophia in tow. And as appealing as the idea sounded in his head, he knew it wasn't the safest choice.

He decided the only option really was to stay put and watch every step Ed made and what better time was there to start then right now.

He lifted his body up and leaned back on his heels, preparing to crawl forward as he did every morning. But today felt different to all of those other days when he had sneaked his way out of the small tent.

Before he even took his first step he knew he was being watched.

It wasn't that she had made noise. That wasn't it at all. He could just feel the kid's eyes on him.

He looked over to see the same disapproving expression he had received yesterday, causing him chew at his lower lip nervously.

She looked as tired as he felt and as tired as he knew Carol was. But she still had enough energy in her to glare at him.

"Mornin" he mumbled softly, hoping to dissolve even a fraction of the hatred in her eyes. But it didn't worked in the slightest.

She pursed her lips at the greeting and her frown deepened.

He waited for her to respond, even if it was to tell him to fuck off. She looked at him like that was exactly what she wanted to do. But rather then use her words, she slowly rolled over and turned her back on him, pulling the sleeping bag over her head in the process.

He couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt. She had never once ignored him or looked at him like he was going to hurt her, but that's how she looked at him now. The distrust was radiating from her. Iit stung his chest to think that she would ever believe anything, but that he wanted to keep her safe.

He couldn't even blame her for not knowing better, for not knowing she shouldn't have listened to a single word Ed had to say to her, whatever those words had been. How could he possibly be angry when he knew how deep someone could crawl in your head. Especially if they had been taking up residence in there since your first days on this earth.

Though he hated to admit it, Ed had a strong hold over both Sophia and Carol and there was nothing he could do to fix that. It would take time and even with all the time in the world, they might never fully be free of him.

Even if he were to take his gun right and and shoot the asshole in the head, Ed's presence would still be lingering around Carol and Sophia.

* * *

It was obvious to Daryl, with in twenty minutes of leaving the tent, that the day was not going to get any better. Especially when he couldn't even look in the direction of Ed's tent, without clenching his jaw and fists until they hurt.

No one had woken yet, the only person he could see was Rick, quietly returning from patrol around the camp.

He stayed still as Rick slowly made his was over to him.

"She say anything last night?"

He shook his head in response. Thinking about the deafening silence that Sophia had pushed on him and Carol only made his fists squeeze tighter together as he looked at Ed's tent. He could feel his temper rising and he knew eventually this burning inside of him would have to be released. He didn't think of himself as a violent person, but he also knew he had his limits.

"Same rules apply Daryl. You have to stay away from him, or this will only get worse"

He didn't respond, he couldn't bring himself to even look at Rick.

Sometimes it felt like the only reason Ed was even alive, was because Rick kept getting in between thought only infuriated him more.

"He goes near em again, I'm gonna kill him." He professed coldly, taking his eyes of Ed's tent to look in Ricks eyes and enforce what he was saying. He wanted to make sure that Rick knew he meant it. It wasn't an empty threat, it wasn't something he was saying because he was stuck in a fit of anger. He was running out of options and if things kept going like this, he would only be left with one choice.

He was done treading on egg shells around Ed, desperately trying to make things easier on the prick who was out to ruin the only thing he had left in this world.

He didn't care that Carol wasn't his wife and that the kid wasn't his daughter, they were his responsibility. He was done with feeling like he was meant to be apologetic about that. Especially when he knew that he wouldn't have it any other way. He had more now then he had ever had and he wasn't going to let anyone take it from him without a fight.

"You keep him in line or you'll be burying him." he growled before dropping his eyes back to Ed's tent.

Rick simply nodded, quickly accepting what Daryl had to say.

Rick obviously knew it wasn't the right time for a debate over right and wrong. Right now he needed to leave Daryl be and give him time to cool off.

Rick wandered off and continued patrolling the camp without another word and Daryl was grateful that the conversation was over, because it wasn't helping his mood.

He could tell that Rick was just not game to push him, when he was obviously so close to snapping. But he didn't care, he wanted Rick to know where his head was at. Because it was true, his patients with this living situation was slipping.

When Carol crawled her way out from the tent she took a second to rest her hand on his shoulder and give it a light squeeze and as always he reached up and laid his hand over hers. He liked the simple gesture. He liked that it could mean a great many things and he always knew what it's intention was.

She didn't stop to talk and she didn't question him about his presence, even though he was not meant to be at the camp. She didn't even seem surprised when she found him sitting on the ground outside their tent. And she hadn't asked what his plans were for the day. He figured it was because she already knew them.

* * *

She had refused to eat both breakfast and lunch with them. Sophia had taken both meals across the camp to eat alongside Carl. No one had questioned Sophia's actions, not even Carol had pushed Sophia to come back and eat with them.

He noticed Carol and Lori exchange nods with each other and he had seen them quietly remove themselves from the group to have a private conversation behind the RV. The conversation was quick and he hadn't been close enough to hear a single word of it, but he had watched as Carol and Lori mirrored each others gestures while they spoke.

They didn't seem concerned by the kid's actions, but Sophia's actions had concerned him, they had left him glaring at Ed even more than he had been.

He'd never been around kids, he didn't really know what to do when they decided not to verbalize their thoughts. But Carol and Lori seemed to have some kind of mutual understanding about the course of action.

He always thought that Lori and Carol were two very different people, they didn't really seem like they would have much in common. But now he realized that there was a solidarity there. They were both mothers and those protective instincts seemed to span beyond their own child. His beliefs were cemented when he noticed Lori look at Ed with nothing but disgust, before she wiped the expression and forced a smile, that she had obviously mustered for Sophia and Carl's benefit.

In the afternoon when he had gone about completing the few simple chores that he done everyday, he felt the void of Sophia's quite presence.

He saw the kid look across the camp at him, they had done the same thing every day. Even though she was obviously upset, he was still sure that she would at least come with him and collect the sticks as they did every afternoon, but as he made his way passed her she'd turned away and looked back down at her book.

He had stayed in eye sight of her while he filled his arms with branches. Assuring that he could always see where she was and what she was doing and along with that he had seen Ed watching him, with a smug smile covering his face. His reaction to the sight was unexpected, so much so that it took him by surprise.

He didn't get frustrated or enraged, he didn't think about all the ways he could kill him. All he could think about was the kid and how hurt she must have been, how whatever Ed had said to her had crushed that small piece of safety she had always seemed to feel when she was with him. It was the only real thing that he had to offer her and it had been destroyed, leaving him feeling useless and completely out of his depths in the process.

* * *

That night he watched as the kid plied herself from Carl's side, approaching them both without even looking in their direction.

Carol had told him that they had to keep on trying, until she gave in and told them what had happened. She seemed convinced that the kid would succumb to compassion and understanding eventually. He had to believe her, because he had no idea what else they could do to get through to her. So that's what he was going to do.

"Ready for bed?" Carol asked as the kid continued on her way without so much as nod.

"Night Sophia" Daryl added as she made her way into the tent, getting the silent response, he'd expected.

Carol met his gaze as they listened to Sophia drop onto her sleeping bag. She gave him small smile as she reached out to run her hand through his hair, bringing his face towards her.

The kiss was brief, it was a quiet goodnight that they had both done without thinking.

The problem was, that he had been going out of their way to touch her all day, he had been trying to comfort her the only way he knew how. The constant contact had cut down a boundary that they had put in place for a specific reason. He remembered as soon as his mouth found hers that their was a reason he didn't kiss her goodnight. And Carol seemed to remember in that moment to.

Slowly they plied their lips apart and turned their heads slightly, knowing that the fleeting display of affection had a captive audience and in amongst it was Ed Peletier, who suddenly jumped to his feet and stormed off out of sight, grumbling curses to himself. Daryl hopped wherever it was that the dumb-shit was wandering off to, had a hungry Walker waiting on his arrival.

She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head, revealing just how exhausted she was. He watched her rub her hand over her eyes, before pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Come to bed when you're ready, I'm going to try and talk to her before she falls asleep." She said as she lifted herself up and made her way into the tent.

Carol hadn't seemed concerned when he had told her that Sophia saw him leaving the tent in the morning and right now it seemed like she wasn't too concerned who saw him crawl into it tonight. But he was positive that he would be going too far, it was surely not going to be met with anything other than a fight, a fight he wouldn't see coming if he was tucked away in the tent. The sleepless night he'd already endured had assured that he didn't have the energy for it either.

He listened to the quiet murmurs that drifted from the tent as Carol tried to talk to her daughter, but he never heard the kid respond. That silence she was using like a shield was pulling at something in his chest so hard that he found it almost impossible to breathe.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_She ran as fast as her feet would carry her through the woods, but she knew with every step she took, that it simply wasn't fast enough. _

_It was getting so dark that she could barely see in front of her, but all around her she could see invisible traces of Sophia and Daryl. They were signs that Sophia and Daryl had once been there. But she knew they weren't there anymore. But it didn't stop her from running after them. _

_In her gut she knew they were gone and that she was alone, but she couldn't bring herself to give up. She knew as soon as she stopped running after them, that she would have to accept that both Sophia and Daryl were gone from her. she would have to accept that she was alone and she would always be alone. Knowing that squeezed at her heart so tightly that she was sure that it had seized from the pressure._

_She didn't know what had ripped them from her grasps, she only knew that they were in her arms only minutes ago and then they were gone. The further she ran the more blood she could see, smeared over the ground and trees. She didn't need anyone to tell her who's blood it was, she knew it was theirs. _

_She felt her blood run cold when she spotted the two lifeless bodies lying in the dirt. The knowledge that it was over. The feeling that crashed into her was like nothing she ever knew someone could experience without being set on fire. She choked back the air as she got closer to them, trying to scream out their names but no sound came out of mouth._

"Carol! C'mon Carol, wake up."

Her eyes snapped open to find Daryl's tired and worried eyes starring back at her.

His arm was tightened around her, one hand rubbing firmly over her hip, the other rested on her cheek holding her in place so that he could see her face.

"Just a dream. Not real" he promised in a rough whisper, still half asleep himself.

She could hear herself panting as Daryl repeated his promise to her again and again. Just as he had been doing for days.  
Logically she knew he was right, but it didn't stop her from pulling away from him and rolling herself over so that she could clearly see Sophia, sleeping soundly beside them.

Daryl's hushed tone softened even more, as his arms came around her and he molded his body around her.  
"She's fine. She's safe." he assured her with his mouth settled by her ear.

She released the breath she had been holding and instantly felt her body relax, as she fully let herself believe that it was in fact just a dream.

They didn't roll back into their usual position. Instead, Daryl settled behind her, shifting around until he was comfortable.

She stayed on her side starring at Sophia and Daryl seemed to accept that this was the only way to truly ward of the reoccurring dream. She could see her daughter and feel him wrapped around her, assuring her that they were both safe.

"Sleep now, ok?" Daryl mumbled into her neck before planting a soft kiss below her ear.

"Need to sleep" he reiterated, though she wasn't sure if he was referring to her need for sleep or to his own. She assumed both.

She forced her eyes to close, trying to relax. She listened as he continued on with his promises that everything was ok and that he was right there with her, should she need him again.

* * *

It had been four days since the incident and she still hadn't said more then a few words to him or Carol. He never knew that Sophia had the power to make every minute of the day drag, but apparently she did have that ability hidden away.

He knew that he had been right in thinking that it was better to have her close, than to worry about her constantly.  
Now that she was avoiding him, he found that he couldn't take his eyes off her. He felt like he couldn't think straight.

To make matters worse, Carol had been having nightmares. He was woken up by the sounds of her crying out his and Sophia's name, with so much urgency and distress, that he could almost feel the pain that she was suffering though.

Each night when he woke he she would look at him as though she couldn't believe he was right there in front of her. Then she would check on Sophia, trying to assure herself that whatever had happened in the dream wasn't real.

It hurt that he had to tell her that Sophia was safe and sound, because he didn't want her to ever have to think otherwise. He didn't like having to sooth her back to sleep, because he wanted her to sleep though the night, just as she had been before all this had happened. But he would do it all, he would be there for her when she needed him to be.

What he couldn't stand was the fact that he didn't know how to help either of them. He didn't know how to fix it.

He kept on eye on Sophia and Carl from a safe distance.

They had wondered off to the clearing to sit and talk, as they passed something between them that he couldn't see clearly. He guessed it was just another bug that Carl was offering to Sophia to inspect.

He leaned into the side of his truck watching as Carl made her laugh and he was grateful that someone could make her happy, no matter how briefly the emotion came over her, before she sunk back into the depressive state she had been settled in lately.

"She said anything yet?" Shane asked as he made his way over to Daryl, dropping his side into the truck next to him. Daryl shook his head in response, his eyes still locked on the kids as they talked amongst themselves.

"I need a word" Shane said carefully, trying to take Daryl's attention away from Sophia, but he wouldn't budge. He knew what Shane wanted to talk about, he had been waiting for someone to approach him.

"It's been a few days since you-"

He let out a growl and finally turned his head to look at Shane as he spoke, stopping Shane mid sentence.

"If we need food then send that prick on a run, cause I'm not takin' one damn step outta this camp while he's here."  
He had kept his tone light, but the dark edge that ran along his words did not go unnoticed by Shane.

He turned back to the kids playing in the clearing and kept his sights locked on them. He hoped Shane would take a hint and leave him alone, just as everyone else had been doing the last few days. But as usual, he didn't have any such luck.

"You know why things are the way they are Daryl. I know you know that, man. You're mad and I get that, but I know you understand why we cant let you-."

"We don't kill people" he said sternly, keeping his eyes locked on Sophia.

Shane gave him one stiff nod as he folded his arms tightly. Once again, assuming the role of the police officer, through his assertive stance."No we don't"

Daryl tried to hide his disgust as the thought appeared, but it was simply to much effort, so he gave into the expression and let it take over his features as he turned his head back to Shane."Can I handcuff that piece of shit to a roof and leave him up there? We do that to people who threaten us right?" he asked clearly, watching as the words threw Shane.

Shane shook his head."Daryl, listen-"

"Or do we only do that when it suits Rick?" Daryl asked raising his brow.

As soon as the words left his mouth he noticed Shane's shoulders rise and his neck straighten in response.

"You need to step back Daryl. Calm down." Shane argued, though Daryl had not taken a physical step forward.

He knew what Shane meant, though. He wanted Daryl to fall in line and accept the rules that he and Rick had put in place.

And that was exactly what they were, _their rules. _

These rules didn't belong here in this camp. As far as he could tell, the world that had created them was long gone. The society that worked to hold them in place had gone with it. But Shane and Rick had decided they were going to march into the apocalypse, with old ideas. At least, right now they would.

In the end Daryl knew this way of thinking wouldn't hold up. Both Shane and Rick would let those morals go, but they wouldn't do it until it served them. They would wait until it was Lori and Carl that were in danger. Daryl knew that when that day came, Shane and Rick would kill anyone in their path, if it meant that they could keep the people that they loved safe. And knowing that infuriated him beyond belief.

"You people have taken enough from me. Ain't handin' over anymore" he growled, taking the step forward that Shane had accused him of taking earlier.

"Is everything ok?"

Shane spun around when Andrea's voice reared up, stopping the argument before it could escalate any further.

Andrea marched over to stand herself by Daryl, picking her side before she even knew what the conversation was about.

He forced himself to relax and lean back into his truck, letting his eyes stray back over to where Carl and Sophia were still sitting and quietly talking to each other, unaware of anything happening around them.

Shane forced a smug smile."Maybe you can help. We need food. It's Daryl's job-"

"You cant put that weight on his shoulders" Andrea snapped quickly before Shane could continue.

"It's not his job, he does that to help. He does that to help the group. But it's not something you can force him to do" she argued.

Shane sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose again, as though he were dealing with people who were far to stupid to understand what was going on in front of them."We all have do do things we don't want to. Things we need to do, to survive" Shane argued, struggling to keep his tone even.

The point that Shane thought he was making clearly, was only met with Andrea's humorless laugh.

"And what do you do Shane? Maybe you and Daryl could switch positions." Andrea asked as she crossed her arms and leaned into her heel.

Daryl couldn't help but glance back at the exchange.

"You can hunt and Daryl can….What? Clean his gun? leer at Lori?"

"I help keep us safe" Shane barked, loud enough that some heads were turned in their direction. But Andrea didn't seem to have any problem with Shane's aggression. She didn't back down for a second.

Andrea knew, just like everyone else did, that Lori was something of a sore spot for Shane. It was just something that no one mentioned.

"Judging by the look on that little girls face or the fact that Daryl doesn't feel _safe_ leaving them here, I'd say your doing a shitty job. Maybe we should look into moving some people around, letting some people switch up their _jobs_….. You know how to hunt Shane?"

Daryl didn't know what was more hilarious, Andrea's words or the look that fell on Shane face before he mumbled out something.

Daryl was sure Shane had suggested that Andrea was a bitch before he walked away, but it was to muffled for him to decipher. What he did hear loud and clear, was Andrea call Shane an asshole, loud enough that Shane had surely heard it before he walked away.

Daryl smirked at Andrea when she turned to smile at him. She looked pretty pleased with herself.

He shook his head as he pulled a smoke out of his almost crushed packet."You my lawyer now?"

"Lori asked me to come and get Sophia and Carl. She's ready for them. This?" she finished, waving her hand around. "Was a lucky coincidence."

He smirked again and nodded as he lit his smoke, ignoring the step Andrea took in his direction.

"Daryl, Shane is relying on you to keep his family fed, but he won't help keep yours safe from Ed. Don't let him bully you. We've got supplies, I know we do, I brought them back with me on my last run. Shane and Rick want to squirrel everything away for a rainy day, they don't care about risking you and yours. They just want their way of life to continue on, it's bat-shit"

He nodded his head slightly and hummed. He didn't specify what she had said that he had agreed with. He was far to fixed on the fact that she had twice referred Carol and Sophia as his family. The thought did something to his stomach, that he wasn't comfortable with.

It was easy enough to think of them as his responsibility, or simplify it down to the fact, that they apart of his life. But to him, family meant something completely different. The word was tainted and the idea of it only brought on a chaos in his head. It was just easier not to think of them as his family.

He kept on eye on Andrea as she took both the kids from their spot and led them back through the camp. He watched them until the kid had sat down with Carl and Lori, ready to learn whatever it was Lori spent her time teaching them.

Sophia dropped her elbow onto the table so she could lean her cheek into her palm while she worked. The distant look in her eyes was haunting and with Andrea's words still echoing through his head, he got even more anxious. No matter what he called them, weather it was responsibility or family, they needed more from him.

He decided that there had to be something else he could do to fix this, so he made his way past the RV to where he usually found Carol doing laundry.

His heart stopped for a second when she wasn't there. The clothes were piled up on the foldaway table, but her spot behind them was empty.

The only thing that kept him from flying into a full blown panic was the fact that he had seen Ed seconds before, he had been keeping an eye on him all day. There was no chance that he could have done something to her. But still she wasn't where she was meant to be and that made his heart rate pick up instantly.

He scanned through his mind, trying to remember the last time he had seen her, when he heard a noise come from beside him.

She was standing with her back to him, though he could tell that she was harshly wiping the fresh tears from her cheeks.

He didn't think twice about who was around to see them or wonder if he was doing the right thing. He simply let his feet take over and lead him to her, to grab a hold of her waist. He heard the sharp intake of breath, he had surprised her, but she instantly relaxed when he spun her around and pulled her into his arms.

He pressed his lips into her hair before resting his cheek on her head, knowing right then and there, that she herself didn't know what to do. She had already told him everything that she could think of and it wasn't working.

"It's gonna be ok" he repeated trying to soothe her, hoping he could convince her it was true, while he rubbed his hand over her back, trying to calm her down.

She was just as upset as the kid, but they were safe. And he reasoned with himself that tt had to be enough for him. They were alive, physically they were fine, that had to be enough for now. He had to keep reminding himself of that, because without that constant chant, he knew he was going to fly of the edge at any minute.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

That night he sat closer to Carol then he usually would have dared. It felt like he had spent so much of him time worried that he would do something that would stir Ed up. But tonight he he was only concerned with Carol Being closer to her was the only way he could think to comfort her when the kid refused to eat with them again.

As it got late he noticed the kids go into Ricks tent together and crawl into Carl's bed to read a book, they had both stayed there until they drifted off.

Lori said that Sophia was fine to spend the night with them in their tent and Carol had accepted it with a smile, though he knew it was all just a cover, because Sophia's silence and detachment was killing her.

He slid his arm around her waist when he noticed the crease in her brow deepen and pulled her gently to his side. Trying to ease the pain that was radiating from her. Though he was sure, he had nothing to offer her that could possibly help.

He sat in silence with her, only noticing her move from his side when Ed finally went into his tent. He knew now, that she had been waiting for Ed to leave, before she felt comfortable enough to go to sleep.

Most of the camp was still awake and he could still see light coming from Ed's tent, but he didn't object when she took his hand and led him into the tent with her. He hated the thought of her being in there alone, looking at the vacant spot beside her, just as he had done when Merle disappeared.

He wanted to do something to make her feel better but he had no idea what.

He waited for her to get into her spot and get comfortable before he climbed in next to her.

He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be ok, that he loved her and he wouldn't let anything like this happen again. That he would keep them both safe from now on. He wanted to tell her that nothing had ever mattered to him in his life like she did.

The only problem was that he still had no idea how to voice any of that.

The words were still like puzzle pieces that he couldn't put together. Maybe he was right all along, the sentences really couldn't make their way out of his mouth.

He rolled onto his side and moved himself down until his eyes were aligned with hers.

He ran his fingers through her hair and watched as her eyes closed at the light touch.

She looked into his eyes and he could see that hers were glistening with tears but the smile on her face was genuine and he couldn't help but return it.

He moved his lips slowly to hers and held them there for a long moment before pulling back to look at he once more. His eyes searched hers for some sign that she wanted him to stop, but she moved in closer. She didn't look like she had that night in the back of the truck, she looked at him like she always did, like she wanted him.

Her hand moved onto the bare skin of his lower back, slowly moving up. He could feel her fingers moving over the scattered scars on his back, causing him to exhale harshly into her mouth, pressing his brow to hers, at the feel of her hands finally moving over his skin.

Her body slowly thrust into his when his hand moved under her shirt and he firmly ran his fingers up her back, mirroring she was doing to him.

When she moaned into his mouth he slowly shifted his body until he was hovering over her, leaning on his elbows as he continued to kiss her slowly.

He had no plans for how far they would take this.

He had no intentions of doing anything more than kissing her until he felt her hands move all over him.

Her hands slid off his bare skin and one of her legs moved out from between his. For a second he thought she wanted to stop, until he felt her hands pressed into his chest, he realizing she was undoing the buttons of his shirt.

He couldn't deny the flare of panic that began to build. It wasn't like he didn't want to do this. He did. But he also didn't want to mess anything up.

He heard her groan out in frustration and it helped to relive some of the anxiety he was feeling. He knew the buttons on his shirt were annoying her so he pulled away from her and sat up on his knees to pull the shirt over his head.

Before he could lower himself back down to her, she reached up grabbing a hold of his neck so she could pull his body on top of her but she did it with far to much force and obviously she thought he was expecting the movement.

He fell on top of her and he heard her gasp as their heads collided.

He instantly lifted himself up on his elbow and started rubbing at his brow, seeing she was doing the same.

"Shit, I'm sorry" he spat as he stopped rubbing at his brow, before he reached down to move her hand, so he could inspect hers.

He was kicking himself until she suddenly started laughing and grabbed at his wrist.

"Daryl I'm fine. And it was my fault. I didn't give you much warning"

He smiled at her and shook his head. "You wanna stop? Cause I don't mind-"

Before he could finish she grabbed at his neck and pulled him back down onto her, only this time he didn't headbutt her.

He shifted so he could bring her legs around his waist, gently grabbing her hips and bringing her body back into him. He pressed his mouth back to hers, so he could move his tongue over her lips, while his hand slid up her waist.

He paused, realizing that he was slowly taking her shirt off as his hand ran over her skin.

For a moment he wondered if he had gone too far, horrified that she would run off again, until she reached down and pulled the shirt off herself.

Within in seconds after taking her in, he closed his body over hers. He wrapped both his arms around her as he pressed his face into her neck again, kissing her down her chest as both of her hands tangled themselves in his hair, bringing his ear to her mouth.

"I love you" she breathed out into his ear, before she pressed her lips into his neck. His whole body shuttered and collapsed into her. Before he could think about responding she pulled his mouth harshly to hers.

He couldn't help but think about the ache that ran through him when she wasn't his, and it made him kiss her more, made his hand want to move over every inch over naked body, until he was sure there was no part left that he hadn't touched, kissed and inhaled.

There was nothing to graceful about it, if anything he was pretty sure it was downright clumsy and he even managed to headbutt her again. But it didn't matter. It was still the best thing that he had ever remembered happening to him.

* * *

He woke to the familiar sounds that emerged from the woods, but he couldn't focus on anything but her slow and steady breaths and how warm they felt as each soft exhale hit his chest.

Her head was resting on his arm as she slept and he dreaded the thought of having to get up and leave her, especially since he had never wanted to stay somewhere so much in his whole life.

He remembered being afraid that he would run off on her, like he did when he had picked up random girls at bars. Sex was to intimate, you exposed to much during it and that had always horrified him. But the exact opposite reaction had occurred when he woke next to Carol.

He could die right now and it would be a happy and peaceful death, he would slip away as calmly gently as he did last night when he fell asleep with her body tangled into his.

He rolled on to his side and stayed there for far too long, watching her sleep and running his fingers over the soft skin of her hip, where he had rested his hand.  
The faint light filled the tent more and more and he knew he had dragged this out for as long as he possibly could.

He lightly planted one last kiss on her neck, before carefully untying his body from hers, watching as she settled on her stomach before looking around for his clothes.  
He slowly pulled his pants on and started looking around for his shirt, when he noticed her bare back, exposed to him in the dim light of the morning sun that had seeped into the tent.

He wished it had been the constellation of freckles on her shoulder blade that caught his eye. But that wasn't what had his chest pumping out rough erratic breaths. He wished more than anything that he had only noticed the small birthmark on her ribs, or the tan line on her neck, but neither of those things had his full attention right now.  
None of those things had him ready to completely loose his mind,  
None of them had him searching his memory, trying to recall where he had put his gun and remember if it was fully loaded.

Without thinking, he reached his shaky hand over and traced the collection of scars that ran over her ribs and towards her spine.

"That fucking piece of-…"

That was all he had managed to get out when her eyes snapped open to take in his enraged state. He heard her say his name, but he was already stumbling though the tent to get out.  
His hands fumbled with the zipper, trying to yank it down, remembering that his gun was in his pack and that it was fully loaded.

There was nothing in his head telling him to stop, in fact, even the doubtful voice that questioned his every movement was encouraging him to end this shit now. That voice in his head assured him that if he didn't finish this shit right now he would regret it later.

Before he could pull the zipper down her arms suddenly wrapped around him and her body was pressed into his back. He lunged forward to keep going, but her hold on him tightened and he had no choice but stop.

"It's ok" she repeated in to his ear, through a soft forceful whispers, resting her chin on his shoulder as she pleaded with him to calm down. But the idea of feeling anything but this burning desire to kill him, seemed like a fantasy.

"I'm gonna kill him" he growled again.

"Shh stop. It's ok" he pleaded in a low hushed voice.

"I can't just- " he spat out still shaking his head violently.

"Yes you can. You can stop. I've seen you do it before and you can do it again Daryl." she said quickly, cutting off his breathless words that had escaped through his heavy gasping.

"It's over. It's finished" she said soothingly with her mouth pressing into his ear, as if she thought her closeness could cause her words seep into his mind and relieve the overwhelming tension.

Her arms suddenly loosened from around him and she quickly moved in front of him. She took a hold of his face and then slid her hands into his hair, attempting to lock her eyes with his, but his gaze was still focused on the tent's zipper, wishing he had of moved faster to open it.

"Look at me" she pleaded, the urgency in her voice causing him to do as she asked without a second thought.

As soon as his eyes met hers he felt his shoulders drop in defeat, his fists suddenly loosened and his trembling hands rose up to gently rest on her waist.

He watched her intently as she leaned in and lightly kissed him before she pressed her forehead into his furrowed brow. She stayed there, gliding her hands from his hair to the sides of his face, moving her thumb over his cheek until he finally let out a heavy and frustrated groan, knowing he could never do anything if she told him not to.  
And knowing that she was aware of that fact, both settled and infuriated him.

* * *

He put his boots on and then his vest, then found himself standing by the tent, watching as Ed finally appeared.

He wasn't blind or stupid. He knew who the marks were from and he knew what Ed had used to inflict them. He had a few of them himself.

There were nights that he had laid awake wondering what, _if anything_, he and Carol would have had in common in the old world. He wondered if they like the same music, food or movies. But this was not a similarity that he would have ever wanted to share with her.  
The very important difference between their situations right now, was that his father was dead, while Ed was walking, talking and breathing.

He hadn't really thought about the fact that he was standing there glaring at Ed, chewing his lip and tightening his grip around his knife, until he felt Carol's hand wrap around his and forced her fingers into his clenched fist.

"Can you help me?" she asked as she pulled him along. He nodded and dropped his head, following her as she led him through the camp, with her hand tightly holding his.

He stood next to her opening cans and doing other mundane tasks that she could have quite easily completed on her own.  
He could feel her eyes on him as he stood beside her, watching him as he tried to snap out of it.  
He desperately tried to think back to last night, recalling how her skin pressed into his, or the sounds she had made when he moved his hands over her. But all he could think about was that night in the truck when she had run off on him. It made him feel like a complete moron, he'd read the whole situation wrong, along with the expression on her face.

He wished that he didn't get lost in his own insecurities, so that she could have talked to him.  
Even now, he was aware that if he lost it, then he couldn't expect her to trust him with anything. How could she, if she thought he was going to lose it every time she told him something. She asked him to _stop _and he had no choice but to do just that.

* * *

He didn't feel like he belonged to himself anymore. These two women had rolled into his life and now he felt like he was an extension of them. And right now he didn't like that shit one fucking bit. He didn't think they were weak, but he sure as shit thought they were vulnerable and that made them his weak spot. He could see it all clearly now. It didn't matter if they got hurt today or tomorrow. It wouldn't matter if he knew they were going to get hurt in a month or if he found out they had been hurt years before he had ever met them. It was all going to hurt him and it was all going to fuck with his head.

They sat eating breakfast, once again watching Sophia clinging to Carl across the camp. He was fixed on the sight until he felt Carol shift at his side, he looked over at her and then followed her gaze across the campsite to Rick and Shane who were talking to Ed by his tent. Daryl smirked, knowing what the conversation was about, hoping that this would be the trip that finally got Ed killed during.

But his good mood was short lived when he thought about having to leave the girls alone once more. There was also the chance they would find nothing while they were scavenging and he would have no choice but to go out hunting, even more than he had been, leaving her here… alone.

The sight of the marks that were scattered over her body was enough to make him realize that she needed more than what he could offer. He was going to have to leave her eventually and he would have to continue to.  
It wasn't just hunting trips, it was everything that involved him not being by her side.  
There were a hundred different scenarios in his head, that all involved Carol being alone and that thought was so much more horrifying than it was before he woke up this morning.  
With that he decided that there was only one option and he needed to get it started before he had to leave her alone tomorrow.

He quietly followed her over to the cleaning station and waited until she had rinsed her plate of and turned to look at him, leaning towards her.  
"Can you come with me" he asked quietly as he placed his now clean plate on the pile. Her brow creased as she tried to examine his silent and distressed expression, before softly agreeing with a nod to go with him.

She followed him as he grabbed his bag and headed over to where Sophia was sitting on the ground by Carl, flicking through the same book they had been looking at all day. He let out a heavy breath and stood over the kid, listening to the sounds of Carol, as she made her way to his side.

"Come on" He said jerking his head in the direction of the truck as the kid stared blankly at him, but remained unmoving.  
He watched as her eyes darted from him to the truck and back, locking her cold gaze with his as she pursed her lips. It reminded him of the day that she tried to drag drum of water back to the truck on her own, she had that same determined and stubborn expression on her face.

"You can't stay here alone" he said sternly, with an obvious annoyance lingering in his tone, something that he had failed to cover from the kid.  
He watched as she crossed her arms firmly across her stomach and continued to glare at him, causing him to roll his eyes at the sight and suppress a moan, that could still be heard trying to escape his throat.

"You can play with Carl when we get back" Carol added quickly, keeping her tone light and passive. They both froze as Sophia suddenly sprung up from her spot and briskly walked ahead of them to the truck, flinching as she jumped in and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

He had seen the space when he was hunting, it was a clear small field that was north of the camp site. It was a long drive before they reached their destination but none of them spoke, the only thing he could hear was the sound of the kid tearing at the threads on her knee of her pants. For the first time he noticed that Carol made no attempt to talk to the kid, he was unsure if she couldn't take the rejection right now, or if this was a part of the plan she had devised, assuming Sophia merely needed time to work through whatever had happened that day. Either way the silence was deafening and the sound of the kid plucking away at the threads made him anxious, so much so that he found himself driving way to fast, just so he could get out of the truck as soon as possible.

When they finally arrived, he noticed that the kid had no intention of budging from her seat and he was quietly thankful that he didn't have to keep an eye on her, knowing it was going to be hard enough as it was.

"Stayin here?" he asked the kid, as Carol jumped out the passenger side door. He hadn't been expecting an answer, mostly he was just looking for a way to tell her to stay put, without it sounding like a demand.

"lock the doors and beep the horn if you need us. We'll be right over there" he said tilting in the direction of the clearing. The kid looked up at him nodded her head, surprising them both that she had even acknowledged the request.  
He reached under the seat, remembering that there was an old magazine stashed there, one that he had no recollection of buying, but it was at least something.  
He pulled the old tattered thing out and placed it on the seat beside the her. She looked at it briefly, before her gaze darted up and met his as he closed the door. He stood there raising his eyebrow at her, until she rolled her eyes at him and reached over to lock the door. Carol repeated the act, unmoving until they were both sure that she was safely locked in the truck.

"Well that was something" he said quietly as they met each other at the tray of the truck, she smiled at him and nodded hopefully.

"Baby steps" she added, as he grabbed his bag out and took her hand, leading her out to the small field that spread out in front of the truck.

He reached the center of the clearing and looked around feeling satisfied with the spot as he dropped his pack to the ground.

"Are you setting traps here or-…" she asked watching him open the bag, before inspecting the open area around her. He looked up at her from his crouched position and realized that he hadn't told her why he wanted to bring her here.

"No. No traps." He said, his tone full of concern as he wondered if she was going to go along with this.  
He reached into his bag to pull out the revolver before pushing himself back up and putting himself in front of her.  
"This gun will be good for you, it's small, should fit well in ya hands" he mumbled not looking in her eyes as he held the gun out in front of her. She folded her arms around herself and took a step back before he even finished talking, assuring him this wasn't going to be easy.  
"I can't use that" she said nervously, as he took in her rigid pose.

"You gotta be able to protect ya self when I'm not there" he argued keeping his voice low serious.

"This about this morning?" she questioned, holding herself even tighter, making him even more uneasy.  
He chewed his lip, wondering how to respond as his eyes scanned her, searching his mind for the right words to say "_fuck_ _ye__ah it is"_, but he knew the sight of the scars had only been a wake-up call.

_Anything could happen_, _I could die while I'm hunting and then where would she be? _he thought. Weather he was dead or alive, she needed to be able to defend herself.

He had to accept that the group had made their minds up, they believed that Ed had a right to be alive and breathing. But that didn't mean it was right. And if something did happen, he wanted her to be able to protect herself and Sophia, if the quarry had taught him anything, it was that Carol relying on everybody else had gotten her nowhere.  
Everybody, including himself, had let it go on for far too long, deciding it wasn't there business. They left her life in Ed's hands and he wasn't going to let that happen again.  
He growled and shook his head.  
"We should have done this months ago" he said firmly holding the gun out even further, noticing how she suddenly looked at him as though she was ill-equipped.

He frowned and shook his head in response to her expression. "It ain't rocket science" he gruffly, hoping to assure her she was more than capable. She dropped her gaze down to the gun and starred at it in his hand that was still flexed out between them.

"I _need_ to know that you can do this Carol" the desperation that flooded his tone forced her to look up once more and lock her eyes with his.

"_Please_" he begged in a whisper that was barely audible, his last distressed attempt.  
Her eyes were still fixed on his when she let out a heavy and unsteady breath, "ok" she agreed tightly, taking the gun from his hand and finally holding it in hers.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter ****21**

She was still panting heavily when she pulled herself off him. He could barely breathe himself and as usual the ideas of quitting smoking played in his mind, just as they had been since he was still in his twenties.  
He stayed still so that he didn't get in her way while she manoeuvred herself back into her pants. He couldn't see much, but he sat back and locked his eyes on what he could make out of her form in the darkness.  
Once she was sitting beside him, lifting her hips to button them back on, he lazily followed her doing up his own, letting his mind wonder back to the events of day, more specifically, what had happened after they'd finished breakfast.

_He__ had__ watched her as she rose in front of him, taking his dirty plate in the process. The kid had finally agreed to eat with them and he could finally see that Carol, was right__.__B__aby-steps__ were the key__. The kid hadn't talked all through the meal but she had finally stopped glaring at them and that was progress. After she took Sophia's plate from her, she __gone__ to clean them and he noticed Ed watching her__ as she made__ her way across the campsite, making his jaw tighten in place. _

_He grabbed his bag that lay nearby__,__ while Sophia started flicking through the old magazine again. __  
__As __Carol__ made her way back to the tent he glanced over to make sure that Ed was watching her every move before standing up to greet her. She stopped a few feet away from him, eyeing him suspiciously,__ but she was obviously amused.__H__e smiled and stood himself in front of her, grabbing a hold of her hip to bring her much closer than was necessary. _

_He flashed a grin as her as he hooked his fingers into her belt and attached the holster, before slipping the gun into it. Once he was sure it was secure he settled his hand on her waist. When he looked up he could see that she was entertained by the action._

The smile she had worn was very similar to the one that she was wearing less then an hour ago, when she took his hand and pulled him into the back of the truck, it was mischievous and inviting and it threatened to make him hard again just thinking about it.

It didn't matter how bad things had gotten or how edgy he was most of the time. He was still more content with his life then he had any memory of being, and that was all because of Carol.

She had told him that she loved him three times now and each time she seemed to be making sure that she only said it when she knew he wouldn't have a chance to reply.  
She'd said it before she pressed her lips to his, or before she left to do whatever chore was waiting on her. He was sure this wasn't by accident. It was almost like she was letting him off the hook, maybe she knew what he was or wasn't capable of, without him having to explain himself.

But just because he hadn't said the words, didn't mean he didn't think them. He thought about it more then was probably normal.  
He had always wondered what it would be like to love someone. He'd never been in a relationship and he'd never wanted to be in one. But now that he was with Carol, he could see what all the fuss was about.

He thought that loving someone meant that you loved fucking them, being with them, talking to them - and though all that was true, he knew that wasn't even close to what it really meant. Those were all things that affected him in some way, something that he was apart of… he was the one fucking her, he was the one who got to be with her when she had some time to spare and he was the one who got to talk to her about anything that came through his heads. Even though he loved what he had with her, he found that he simply loved _her_ more. He loved her all on her own, without her having to do a single thing for him.

He could watch her talking to someone and admire the way she held eye contact with them, to make sure they knew she was really listening. He liked the faces she made when she was concentrating on something.  
It was probably about as sappy as he had ever imagined these feelings to be. But it was true. He didn't need to have his hands on her, or have her attention, in order to love her. He could love her from afar and it didn't lessen any of it.

All these feelings though, made him nervous, because he feared living without them. If something were to happen to her, he'd be lost.  
He needed to make sure she was safe, he needed to protect her, no matter what. He wanted to make sure that he gave her everything he could give her and do everything he possible could do for her. Because he was sure that's what you were meant to do for someone when you loved them. Even if the things you had to do horrified you.

"You ok?" she asked handing him his shirt and pulling him from his thoughts.

"Yeah. I'm good" he promised her as he wrestled himself back into his shirt.  
Before he could ask her the same question, she swung her leg over his lap until she was straddling him again and placing her hands firmly on his shoulders.

"Let's try that again" she said with a smile, lining her eyes up with his. "Are you ok?"

He sighed heavily and dropped his head back and dropped his hands onto her hips.  
"Just thinking about huntin'. I mean, I gotta go, Ya know? I just don't feel like-"

Carol nodded and relaxed slightly.  
"Andrea told me what happened" Carol said softly as she ran a hand through his hair.  
He had guessed that Andrea had told Carol what happened, he had seen them talking and Andrea had the same pissed off expression on her face that she had when she was arguing with Shane.

"It's all well and good to put Shane in his place and call him an asshole. Don't stop the fact that he was right"

"He wasn't, Daryl. He cant put the weight of the whole group on your shoulders."

"Ain't the whole group I'm worried about. I gotta get us food. We gotta eat. Ain't gonna matter me hanging around here to keep an eye on you and Soph, if were all dyin' of starvation"

"Andrea said we have plenty of supplies." Carol reasoned quickly.

He eyed her and smiled slightly. "You don't want me to go"

Carol rolled her eyes at his amusement. "I want you to be safe."

He chewed at his lip as he looked over her."You don't gotta worry about me" He promised, still unsure why such a simple conversation had him feeling nervous.

"I could say the same to you."

He looked down at his hands and where they rested on her hips and then gave them a light squeeze before he continued. "Carol, I gotta go. You know I do."

Carol nodded. "I do, I know that. But I don't want you out there worrying about will just distract you."

"So we keep training." He said as he tightened his gold on her. "Im'a feel a hell of a lot better about going, if I know you can protect ya'self."

Her mouth opened slightly and closed, deciding against what ever she was going to say. Instead she nodded again and forced a smile.

He knew the gun made her uncomfortable, he knew the idea of inflicting harm didn't sit right with her. And he understood that. But it wasn't a world where she could shy away from it.

* * *

Over the next few weeks he noticed that Sophia's mood had slightly improved, but she was still shut of to them. She still hadn't told them what happened, but she was at least answering them when they asked her simple questions.  
She had accepted a hug from her mother once and had even been saying goodnight before she went to bed. It wasn't much. But it was enough to let him and Carol know that there was going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. They just had to keep trying and keep their patients with her.

He had been forcing himself to hunt, he didn't have much other choice. But he only left when he felt comfortable, which was easier now that Carol was keeping Sophia close while he was gone, along with the gun and knife, that she attached to her belt each morning with as little thought as she would have putting her shoes on.

He had taken her out every day to train but eventually, it turned to every other day. She could shoot and he made sure everyone knew that, he made sure he said it loud enough and confident enough that Ed not only heard, but also knew he wasn't kidding. She could take down walkers and she could fight. It would take her practice to figure out what was comfortable for her to do, but she was capable.

At nights they would sneak off to his truck and be together, or sometimes Andrea would offer to watch Sophia while he took Carol out shooting and he would spend a bit of time with Carol while they were out there…And there were days when he couldn't stand the idea of waiting and he would ask Glenn or Andrea to watch Sophia, so he and Carol could take a _walk_ into the woods with Carol.  
He was sure they'd had more sex over the past few weeks then he had had in his entire life. He couldn't seem to help himself and Carol never objected.

* * *

He realised as soon as he opened his eyes that he had slept in.  
The girls had already left and he knew he was going to have to walk out there in front of everyone.  
He had spent most of the night in the truck with Carol after getting Glenn to watch the kid, promising him they would be back in ten minutes, though they didn't return for more than an hour.

The thought of the night before made it easier to get up and walk out, deciding he had done nothing wrong, that there _was_ _nothing_ wrong with what they were doing.

He couldn't help but scan the camp as he got out, though he knew he should have just dropped his head and tried to look at least slightly remorseful. But he was a shitty liar, he always had been.

He thought about her laying across his chest last night, talking until she fell asleep, his arms circled around her and his chin resting on her head. _No,_ he thought, it would be impossible to act as though he regretted any of it.

Ed was standing by his car, packing it full of supplies with T-dog, Andrea and Glenn, as Amy stood by with a worried look on her face, watching as her sister readied to depart once more.  
He took his last step out of the tent and stood upright, watching closely as Ed's head turned to look at him, slamming his bag into the boot of the car.

Instantly, Daryl looked around and saw that everyone was nervously watching and waiting for something to happen.  
Ed hadn't made a move in his direction, but Daryl still couldn't help but look around to see where the kid was.  
After a few seconds of looking around, he found her playing in the clearing with Carl, kicking the ball back and forth to each other. He was happy she was far enough away to miss any scene that could possibly take place.

Ed continued to glare at him as he put his boots on and Daryl wondered if he was finally aware that he was out numbered, not just by the group who had always stopped any fight that broke out, but also now by Carol who was busying herself with laundry across the camp, the gun securely attached to her belt.  
Once again, he found himself forgetting the eyes on him and remembered the night before, He remembered the time that he had spent with her in the truck and decided that the looks he was receiving, simply didn't matter. He put on his vest, followed by his bag and took a hold of his crossbow, making his way over to her to let her know that he was going, but that he would hurry back to her.

"You're awake" she said leaning into the table on her palms as he approached.

"Sorry I missed the show" she teased, trying to look around the campsite, though most of it was blocked off to them by the cover of the RV.

"Could have woken me up, Ed looked like he wanted to run across the camp and break my neck" he said with a smug smile as he sat himself on the table beside her.

"oh please" she said biting her lip, suppressing her grin as she positioned herself between his legs.

"You not even a bit worried about my well-being" he teased, trying to focus on the conversation and not how close she suddenly was.

"Worry is my middle name. It's like my Superpower. If I was a superhero they'd call me The Worrier. I worry from when I wake up until when I go to sleep. But only waste my powers on things that might actually happen" she announced confidently and he couldn't help but smirk at her.

He raised his brow as she leaned in and he wondered if what had happened last night had brought on her good mood, or if it was the day before when they were in the field alone, supposedly training.

Either way, he welcomed it.

His hands slid around her hips and yanked her forward, causing her to let out a laugh that was quickly cut of when his mouth found hers.

He had decided that he wasn't leaving until he was sure that Ed and the others had left, he had plenty of time, he thought, as her arms fell onto his shoulders loosely.

As her lips parted, her tongue found his, while he slid his hands around her waist to rest on her lower back. With much more force then she would usually use, she reached up and tangled her fingers into his hair tightly, making him moan into her mouth, making her smile into the kiss.  
He pulled back slightly to look at her, watching her take a breath.

"You ok?" she asked as he became silent, his lip curved in satisfaction to the closeness as he tightened his hold on her.  
"Just thinkin" he replied, letting the curve on his mouth grow.  
"What about?" she asked in a low breath, though he could detect the seductive tone lingering in her words.

"You" he said as he brushed his lips over hers once more.

"Last night" he added with a sly grin as he moved his mouth to her neck.

He began trailing his lips over the exposed skin on her shoulder when he heard it, the noise that was quickly growing closer and closer, making the earth vibrate beneath his feet.

Every part of him tensed in that moment.  
It sounded like an army was making its way closer and he knew she could hear it to. He was sure he could hear her heart pounding in her chest.

He lifted his mouth from her shoulder as the first walker appeared through the woods. Without warning he jumped to his feet and quickly swung her body to his side. He grabbed his crossbow, loading the bolt and taking the Walker.

He took one step in its direction to retrieve the arrow when he saw them, they were everywhere, hundreds of them heading at the camp.

He opened his mouth to yell but in that same second, he heard the screams erupt, from what he was sure was Amy being attacked.

The stillness and quiet setting of the camp had disappeared and was replaced with yelling, gun fire and the moans of the dead as they entered the camp.  
He grabbed her hand as more of them appeared, he knew there was no point in fighting, they had to run.  
As he pulled her back into the centre of the camp, he searched for Sophia. That was when he realised just how screwed they really were.  
The walkers coming from behind them were not their only problem.  
As he looked into the clearing he could see another big group of them, emerging from the Forrest line.

They were coming at them from both sides, one heard joining another, and they were all right in the middle of it.

He was snapped out of his shocked state as Carol suddenly screamed out for the kid, his head swung in Sophia's direction, to see the walkers drawing in on her.  
Carl took in the sight and turned running back towards the campsite. It was clear that Carl's instincts had kicked in and he didn't think about anything else in that second except saving his ass. But as Sophia's instincts kicked in, they gave her a very different message.

He watched as Sophia froze, just as she did when they were over run at the quarry. Her hands reached up and covered her ears and her eyes snapped shut.  
Carol moved from his side, ready to run after Sophia as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

He could see Andrea approaching them as Carol screamed in panic. The blonde had blood on her hands and over her shirt and he didn't have to ask her if Amy was ok. The way she looked at him with paled skin and bloodshot eyes was enough to let him know that Amy was gone.

"I have to help her" Carol cried as he spun her around to face him. He pulled her close and grabbed a hold of her face in his hands.  
"I've got her" was all he said before he pushed her body into Andrea's open arms.

"Get her outta here, Andrea" he barked, barely catching a glimpse of the blonde pulling Carol back with her before he turned to run.

He ran with his crossbow slung over his shoulder, unable to move it to his back where his bag hung. He pulled his gun from the waist of his pants, panting a huffing out breaths as he panicked.  
He watched as Rick caught Carl in his arms and starred at Sophia standing in the clearing, as more Walkers began to surround her.  
He demanded that Rick run as he flew past them into them into the growing crowd of walkers.

It all happened so quickly.

It was only a minute ago that everything was fine, that they were all safe and now everything he had ever feared was beginning to unfold before him.  
He had screwed up.  
He didn't keep them safe and realised now, that he never had a chance in doing so, he realised that he never even had to the right to assure them he would keep them safe when the world was trying to swallow them all whole.

Each second that passed made the growing ache in his chest expand. It spread into his throat and choked him, as he wondered if he was fast enough to reach her, before the closet walker did.

He yelled her name hoping to snap her out of her shock, but she didn't budge.  
He could see her mouth moving, just as it did that night at the quarry, though he had never asked her what she was chanting. Now he wished he had asked her, he wanted to know what she had to say to herself that was more important than both their lives.  
He pushed past the pain in his chest that was begging him to stop, pleading that he drop to knees and catch his breath.

More and more of them came out from the woods and he knew that he couldn't fire his gun, they didn't stand a chance if he drew more of them in their direction.  
The Walker closet to Sophia reached out, it's fingertips barely grazing her arm as he finally collided with it, pushing it to the ground before yanking her into his arms.

Dozens of them surrounded him and he could see only one way out.

He frantically looked back to the campsite, watching as they all got into the RV, listening to it start. He couldn't get back there, there was no way he would make it through them all. He looked at Rick knowing he was watching them, knowing that at least one of them knew that they had made it out of there alive. That was all he could hope for, he thought, as he ran into the woods.

He weaved around the swam of Walkers as the recognised his scent and movements.  
He darted passed them, swung his body into them to knock them down, he used his foot to kick them back, he did anything he could to keep moving, each step taking him further and further away from the campsite and the sound of the RV leaving them behind.

He was exhausted beyond belief and everything ached, but he kept going while the kid silently clung to him. He looked through the woods and blinking passed the sweat dripping over his eyes, to see a road. He focused on reaching it, trying to do it quietly as more walkers deterred from their path to follow him, he was only steps away from getting out of the woods when his foot caught something.  
He heard the kid scream his name, but in that same second, everything around him went black.

The few times he had managed to open eyes, he found that his vision had nothing to offer but blurred sightings of his dim surroundings. He struggled to inspect the quiet setting each time he regained consciousness, but his strength always gave in and pulled him back to sleep as it did, leaving everything black and muffled once more.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter ****22**

There was no way of telling how much time had passed when the darkness gave way and the sounds of the birds and muffled chatter that had broken through the hazy silence. No way of telling how long he had been out when he finally felt the sensation of his limbs again and what they were touching.

Everything was jumbled and hazy in his head, but more than that, it fucking hurt.

He had hit his head before and knew the aching pressure so well that a wave of nostalgia hit him before anything else did.  
The throbbing pain was something he had woken up to many times before.  
He tried to focus his thoughts, but no thought could seem to pass without getting muddled by the last. It made it impossible for him focus anything.

The familiar weight on his chest, the one that had him sleeping soundly every night, wasn't there. He couldn't smell her, couldn't hear her, he couldn't remember any reason why he would wake up without her being right there.  
And he wondered _if__ that what had brought on this feeling of dread and chaos?_ Had it been her absence in the night? Was that why nothing felt right?  
_No_, he thought, _that wasn't right either._

He flexed his stiff fingers and tried to force his eyes open, as the twisted mess in his mind worked to untangle itself.

When he managed to force his eyes open, he looked up at the roof of the tent, trying to assess the seemingly harmless area, but it only made him feel more disoriented as he took in the details.

As he starred at the red material, it hit him, that this was all wrong. Every bit of it.  
This tent was red, his was blue and it wasn't Carol's weight that he had in his arms recently.  
_N__o.__ it was the kid._ He'd had Sophia.  
He had her gripped tightly to his chest before everything disappeared, but now his arms were painfully empty and that knowledge ran a shock through every bone in his body.

The heavy panting took over in seconds, until he was desperately trying to pull himself up, ignoring the pain that covered the back of his head and neck.  
Before he had fully opened his eyes, he was coughing through his dry throat and trying to take in a breath that didn't sting his chest.

"Stay down, you're ok"

A womens unfazed voice spoke over his gasping. He ignored the voice and continued to try to move until the pain, that was a dull throbbing seconds before, reared up strong and forceful, quietening his panting to a low growl that flooded the tent. Suddenly the stranger had her hands flattened over his chest, forcing him back down.

"Stop being stubborn. You're hurt. Lay still."

He didn't have a second to question the strange ladies presence, or anything else, when he finally caught a glimpse of the kid beside him.

For the first time since he had met the Sophia, there was no blankness in her eyes, nothing in her expression he couldn't decipher. Right now, he could read everything written on her face. He could see her body slouch as her nerves eased, but it never effected the fear and the uncertainty, that was all exposed through her glassy red eyes and her lower lip that was firmly caught between her teeth.

She looked horrible, but that didn't stop the wave of relief from washing over him, that wave only growing stronger when his eyes scanned her for injuries and found nothing but a small graze on her arm.  
_I can fix this_ he thought, _I just need to find Carol_.

"What's going on" he mumbled out to the kid, looking around the tent and back to her again.

"You hit your head, but you'll be fine"

The trivialising voice came again and he glanced over to get a good look at the women, just as she shoved a bottle of water into his chest. He quickly snatched it from her hand and started drinking it down immediately, desperately trying to extinguish the burning in his chest and throat, while he continued to eye the stranger.  
She had thick brown hair that hung freely over her shoulders, a tanned complexion and an accent he couldn't place. She seemed nice enough, but he still had no clue who she was. Or where he was.

"Where?" he said shaking his head lightly, as he leaned up on his elbows, still attempting to fully regain consciousness.

"Your head" the women said again, barely acknowledging him as she started going through her bag.

"No. _W__here _are we?" he asked, trying to make his voice as clear as he could, directing his attention to the kid.

He had wanted Sophia to answer him, to tell him what had happened. But when he looked over, he watched as her eyes dropped, leaving him to wonder why she looked so _god damn guilty._

His head snapped from the kid back to the women who started to talk again, though what she was saying didn't compute in his head. He couldn't understand how the words flowed so casually, yet each syllable hit him like a brick. The story she was telling him was something his brain couldn't accept any part of.  
The women nodded to herself, satisfied she had told the story correctly, as she continued to sift through her bag that was full of medical supplies.

"So that's when my my husband brought you here. To Austin, with our group. It's safe, you – "

"What?" he snapped, cutting the women off and raising his rough voice, making her stop what she was doing to take in his hysterical state.

He clenched his fists, trying to stop his hands from shaking, but it didn't go unnoticed by the women, Unintelligible sounds erupted from his throat, making her hastily explain to him the very same story she had just finished seconds before. Once again she explained that Sophia had waved her husband down and begged for his help. She told him how members of her group had grabbed them off the side of the road, but then they continued their way home. They continued to flee from the mass of walkers that were surrounding them.

He had been knocked out for two days, exactly how long it took them to get here…_ two straight days of driving... Bringing them to FUCKING AUSTIN_.

He knew he should thank the women, or show at least some kind of gratitude for saving their lives. Hell, just acknowledging that she had spoken would be good at this point.  
But he couldn't stop gawking at the kid. How could he say anything when he just found out how incredibly fucked he was.

A part of him was waiting for the kid to laugh and tell him it was a sick and twisted joke, but as he took in her demeanour he knew this was no laughing matter for her either.  
As his eyes locked with hers, just as he felt something building in his gut and seeping into his blood, but he couldn't get a good enough sense of the feeling to register what it was.  
It lingered just below the surface and out of his reach. Whatever it was, it was growing fast and it was getting stronger with every second that he was forced to sit and wait. He was sure the only thing that would ease the sharp edges this feeling would be him out there, looking for Carol.

* * *

When the lady, who he now knew as Mary, left them to sleep, he decided to leave the entry open for a few minutes and get a look at the people. When he watched for long enough he could see they were no different than his own group. There was maybe twenty of them, a broad mix of men, women and children, all of which looked harmless enough.  
Even with that thought, he still found himself inspecting the very non suspicious members, looking for a sign that they weren't safe, even when everything told him they were.

_H_e decided he had to relax, ignore the pain in his gut, and just lay down. He could hear people on watch, patrolling the small space carefully, but still he felt wired and unprotected. He was sure in that moment, that if it was just him out here, he would already be on the road, heading back home…_from fucking AUSTIN!_

"What do we do?" her voice was weak and tired when she snapped him into reality. The tone she used didn't make the situation better. No, that fear building in her voice was the last thing he had needed to hear, because it matched his own. That left them as two people in the middle of nowhere, alone and shitting themselves.  
_What do we do?_ He thought sarcastically.  
_K__id we are beyond screwed. _

"What if they're looking for us?" she whispered firmly into the darkness of the cool tent. He didn't answer her.  
He realised he hadn't said anything in hours.  
He still didn't know what he was meant to say.  
Does he give it to her straight or sugar-coat the shit out of it? Neither seemed like a good option.

_Yeah, they were probably looking for them, but they weren't going to find a fucking thing, _he yelled out in his head.  
_She would be wondering what happened to them _and knowing that made the ache grow and begin to tear a hole for the searing pain to finally burst through. She would be-

_Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop this shit now!_ He cured himself before he could continue on thinking about Carol.

_I can't do this_, he thought. The simple fucking idea of Carol began breaking everything that he needed to get them home. He couldn't function like this, he had to stop, right fucking now.

He pushed her away, every scenario he had created, every memory and sweet moment, everything about her was roughly thrown to the darkest pits of his mind. Leaving him to focus on nothing, but what was happening right here and right now… _IN FUCKING AUSTIN_._  
_  
"Daryl?" she questioned nervously when he didn't respond once again.  
"Go to sleep. I'll sought it in the morning" he mumbled, hoping it would be enough to get her to stop asking questions he didn't have answers to, to stop her from revealing all the dread that she so obviously felt.  
He wished his tone wasn't so cold and dismissive of those feelings, she had every right to be horrified, he'd think she wasn't very bright if she wasn't, but that didn't mean he knew how to deal with it.

* * *

Adrenalin was pumping through his veins before his eyes had even opened, readying him to get moving and moving as fast as he could.

He began going through his bag, checking the weapons and questioning how far they could get with what little they had. That's when the doubtful voice reared up and honestly, he wondered what took it so long.  
_Not far, but it doesn't matter, you'll fuck this up like you fuck everything up_, the voice said nonchalantly, making his jaw tighten.

He began counting the bullets and shoving the water bottles into his bag, when the kid stood up beside him.  
"Where ya goin?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the discarded bullets that he was pulling from the bottom of his bag.  
When he didn't get a reply, he looked up to see her anxiously shrug. He dropped his gaze back down to his hands.  
"Then sit" he ordered firmly nodding to the empty space beside him as he started packing away the small bundle away. Quickly, he went back to searching through his things, praying that he had more bullets in the front pocket as he pulled the last one from the bottom of his bag.

She dropped down beside him and watched him trying to move his shaky hands, wondering if she knew that he was entering in to a state of severe shock, something so chaotic that even he couldn't fully comprehend it.

It was there, that feeling, those knots, all the bad shit that would slow him down. But he couldn't slow down, he didn't have time for this shit. He had to get this done, even if he had to carry the kid the whole way…  
_Nah,_ _Kids gonna die and your gonna have a front row seat, _the emotionless voice spat out, making him cringe as he shook his head firmly.  
He yanked opened the front pocket, seeing the carefully placed packet of smokes. He knew he hadn't packed them, he had left them in the tent... he was sure of it.

He became motionless as he looked at the old crinkled pack, sitting there, protected by the crap that surrounded it, assuring the few smokes he had left didn't get broken._ She always done shit like this,_ he thought, _nice crap just because she wanted him to_….  
"STOP" he choked out, making the kid jump at his side.

Instantly his hand reached to his face, covering his mouth so he could breathe into his palm. He released the pressure just enough so he could talk, though he kept his eyes tightly shut, as if he thought the darkness could help calm him.  
"Not you" he said, trying to lighten his tone, so he didn't scare her any more than he had.  
"I'm the only one here" she said, making him open his eyes and glance in her direction.  
_No, _he thought,  
_There's you,  
me,  
the doubtful asshole,  
the heartbroken moron, that was losing it over a carefully placed pack of smokes.  
Oh, and the lunatic who couldn't think straight…. that was a lot, too much to have jammed into this two-man tent._ The tent that he had to get out of, before the walls closed in on him.

"C'mon" he mumbled as he snatched the bag up and crawled out.

He looked around the busy camp, for the Mary, only spotting her when she called out to him.  
"Your just in time for breakfast" she declared as he approached, though her good mood was quickly diminished when she noticed the crossbow hanging from his shoulder and the bag in his hand.

"Is everything all right?" she asked cautiously, as he quickly responded with a sharp nod, while he glanced over at the man she was talking too.

The guy was easily twice his size, with the same tanned completion and thick, dark brown hair that Mary had, though his was tightly tied back.

"This is my husband Hector" Mary announced, while she eyed the bag in his hand.  
Daryl instantly reached out and shook the man's hand, thanking him for saving them and letting them stay.

"You and Sophia, are more than welcome to stay longer. We have plenty to go around" Hector said confidently with a warm smile. Daryl quickly shook his head at the offer and he could tell they were concerned with his eagerness to flee the camp, but it seemed like an impossible thing to hide, especially when he couldn't stop his feet from inching away from them as they spoke.

"We gotta go" he told them firmly, watching as she glanced at Hector before she swept a soft expression across her face and turned her attention to Sophia.

"Why don't you go and get something to eat" Mary suggested, pointing over to the small group of people serving out breakfast. He looked down as Sophia's head snapped up, awaiting his approval, something she had never done before, it was a simple thing for someone her age to do, though he couldn't tell why it made the overwhelming ache expand.  
"Stay where I can see you" he mumbled firmly, wishing his words didn't have such a sharp edge to them, but for some reason the kid was bringing it out in him.

He watched the kid wonder off until Mary said his name, drawing his attention back.  
"It's reckless. Leaving like this." Mary said harshly, folding her arms sternly across her stomach.  
He didn't appreciate the condescending tone one bit, but they had saved his life so he decided that he would let it slide.

"We've gotta find our group" he said, watching as Mary nodded at his answer.  
"Then leave the child here"

He felt his face scrunch as he took in the request and he thought the urge to chuckle at it.  
"You don't even know us" he said cagily, wondering why someone would willingly take that kind of responsibility on.

"You're not the child's father" she added, locking her gaze with his.

"What's that got to do with it" he asked, becoming irritated with the strangers questioning.

"Frankly, I don't think you're up to it. Taking her out there when you obviously have no experience with children and are so willing to make irresponsible decisions"

There was truth to what the women was saying to him, but it still provoked a defensive and hostile response inside of him. It hit on every insecurity he had. He had messed up so many times and he felt like the women could see all of that, just by looking at him. He wondered for a moment just how much Sophia had told the women, before concluding that it was probably not a whole lot, seeing as the kid rarely spoke.

"Sophia" He yelled out across the camp, watching as the kid shoved something into her pocket and ran back over to his side.  
"Thanks for ya help" he said, barely meeting Mary's eyesight again before he turned away. He wanted to know who the hell she thought she was, assuming he would fuck up and why her husband had stood by her side without a word, when he obviously didn't agree with his wife's words.

They had barely made it to the edge of the campsite when he heard Hector calling after him.  
Daryl spun around, ready to argue, until he saw the man's calmed expression.

"I'm sorry she didn't mean to…" he stopped himself and shook his head, smiling widely. "Well, she did. But I assure you her intentions are good"  
Daryl was unconvinced by the claim, though he still nodded as he leaned into his right heel.  
"Here" he said holding out a key to him. He looked at the offering, confused by it until Hector pointed over to the parked car.

"It's on its last legs. But it might get you close enough to find something that isn't"

Daryl instantly shook his head and gripped his bag tighter, as Hector stepped closer to him and lowered his voice.  
"This is no time to be proud son. There's food and supplies in it. You won't make it far on foot. Take the god damn car."

Daryl glanced down at Sophia who was oblivious to the hushed conversation. He chewed at his lip, accepting this was more for the kid than himself, he doubted the offer would even be made if there wasn't an child at his side.  
He'd be stupid to pass this up.

"Thanks" he said with a nod, taking the keys and watching relief appear in the Hector's eyes when he finally accepted the offer.  
He assumed the man could see how uncomfortable he was, because he gave no more than a smile before he left them.

"Are we going now?" Sophia asked with obvious impatience fuelling her tone. She was too eager to leave and he knew right then that she didn't know what they were walking into. That's when he had to wonder if this was the right thing to do.  
Was he being reckless? was taking her with him more irresponsible than leaving her here in Austin? nine hundred miles from home.

He led her over to the car when he heard someone coming up behind them, he rolled his eyes, wondering when these people would let them leave.  
He turned expecting to find Mary or Hector, but instead he watched as Women he hadn't met drew closer. She was younger than him, though not by much. She looked exactly like the girls he used to pick up in bars, black hair, bold make-up, tight jeans. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if he had slept with her before.

"Your leaving" She asked looking at him and the kid. He found himself just starring at her, wondering why she wanted to know.

"I'm Daphne. This isn't my group. My family, there in Nashville. I need too-"

Daryl quickly shook his head at the ramblings, seeing exactly where this was leading.  
"I've got enough on my hands" he admitted, opening the passenger side door and using his hand to start shoving Sophia into the car.

"I don't need a babysitter. But I can be one."  
He closed the car door and leaned into it, really wishing the girl would see this for the _shit show_ that it was and wait for a better option to arrive.

"Your gonna need to sleep, I can take watch when you do. Plus, I can drive when you're tired, we can cover more ground together" she reasoned, bringing up a very important issue that he hadn't taken the time to consider. _Sleep_.

The words reckless and irresponsible rang through his mind again, accepting that he might need Daphne's help.

"Fine" he spat out in a frustrated defeat, "Get ya shit. We're going now." He growled out reluctantly, before quickly heading over to the driver's seat and dropping himself roughly into it.

"We don't need her" Sophia said, glaring at him as she spoke. He didn't know why she instantly disliked the women, but he reasoned that she was most likely upset and acting out. But the point was, he didn't know. He didn't know anything about doing this on his own and she made him just as nervous as she had, every day since he met her.

What if he was dragging her from the only place that was safe and leading her to her own death. He knew he couldn't handle it or he wouldn't have just told Daphne to get her bags. He was good on his own, he was used to it. But a kid… he was out of his depths and every part of him knew it.

He ignored her question and starred at her, knowing he should at least give her the option.  
"You know how far from home we are right?" he asked keeping his voice low and steady. "Cause its far, kid, maybe too far"

Her disapproval of the statement was obvious, as her eyes became wide and infuriated. "You wanna stay here?" she rasped, as her brow furrowed and her mouth hung open in enraged disbelief.

"Maybe you should. we can come back and get you, after I find them" he said, forcing himself to keep his tone as soft and understanding as possible.

"What makes you so sure they'll be here." she accused coldly, leaving him stunned as he took in her dark assessment of the people's fate.

"I'm not staying" she grated out low and firmly, pressing her body back into her seat and folding her arms across her stomach.

"Ok, I'm ready" Daphne said as she suddenly jumped into the backseat with her bags, though he didn't move an inch, he was still starring at the kid in complete shock.

It wasn't the idea that the people would be killed or moved along, no, it was the fact that she had said it, the quiet kid who never said shit.  
It made him realise just how little he knew her, he in no way thought she was cruel or unkind, she was scared and he knew that, but he didn't know she could conjure up a thought like that, let alone say it so harshly.

"I'm Daphne" the women offered from the backseat to the motionless kid at his side, who kept her eyes fixed straight ahead, leaving him still staring at her, wondering what the hell was going through her head. Her mother often had him in the same state. But when he had wondered what Carol was thinking, his mind had never conjured up such disturbing theories.  
"Let's just go" Sophia demanded in a low and stern voice, ignoring Daphne and letting the emotionless expression, that he hated, cover her face once more.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** This chapter starts with a flashback.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

_He laid on his side, with his lips resting on her neck, kissing her lazily while she whispered the trivial questions, one after another. It was the kind of thing that would usually annoy him. He had always been a private person, even with the small things, but right now he was thoroughly enjoying handing over the insignificant details to her._

_"Well, what did you do before all this?" She asked, continuing the long stream of questions she had for him. They had been talking about nothing of importance for hours now, but he still couldn't find it in him to stop the conversation and go to sleep, not when she seemed so interested in the answers. Quietly wondering why, he was so willing to hand them over and why she cared about the responses. _

_He brushed his lips over her neck once more."Nothing" he murmured, before planting another long kiss onto the soft skin. _

_"Oh c'mon'" she chirped with obvious amusement, while her fingers continued to fidget with his hair. _

_"Guess" _

_The word was mouthed against her neck and he was sure she could feel him smiling into her skin, wanting to hear her theories, assuming they would be ridiculous. He waited for her to make ridiculous assumptions about him, because she had always held in such high regard. Much higher then he thought he could ever deserve._

_So he waited her out, anticipating a good laugh from the surely irrational conclusions she had drawn._

_"Mechanic" she said confidently, making his eyes widened and his body freeze as the familiar term swept passed him. _

_"How the fuck did you know that?" he laughed out, leaning on his elbow to get a better view of her in the dim light. She smiled widely at him as he inched himself further onto her body, until he was resting over her chest and peering down at her. _

_She kept her eyes locked with his, as her fingers slowly slid up to cover his. _

_"You had grease stains on your hands when I first saw you" she paused, rolling her eyes and flashing a small smile at him. _

_"They are still stained in your clothes" she added obviously annoyed that she couldn't remove them. "_

_And I saw you fix the truck, when we were at the quarry… you seemed very… poised" she added as she rubbed her thumb over his hand. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the word. _

_Poised? _

_he doubted that anyone, ever, had used that word to describe him._

_He continued to eye her off, taking in the quiet assessment that still had his head spinning and his features drenched in disbelief. She let out a quiet laugh as her hand left his so she could tap one finger to her temple. "Observant"_

He had the hood up and his body hunched over the engine, growling viciously through his teeth when he saw the problem… the problem he had no hope of repairing when he had no tools and no damn time.

"FUCK!"

_Poised_, he thought. God, if she could see him now. On the side of the road kicking the car that had broken down after only four hours of being on the road.

"Daryl, we need to go into the woods, there's more cover" Daphne said from beside him, as his foot collided with the car once more and his hands slammed hood down with a loud bang.

"Daryl!"

He growled and turned, snatching up his things and running along behind Sophia and Daphne, so that he could keep Sophia safely between them.

They ran through the woods, staying close to the roads. He wanted to get as far away from the car as possible before they stopped. He was sure its sound would have drawn in any nearby walkers and his outburst that quickly followed the car breaking down would not have helped.

Sophia was the first to stop and as soon she did he froze to look back at her. The absence of the sound of her feet hitting the ground had crashed into his ears like thunder and his heart stopped until he found her safe. He couldn't understand why that feeling running through him annoyed him so much, it was driving him crazy trying to figure out how a kid could have him so frustrated when she had never done a single thing to deserve it.

This was his job, as it had been for months and he wouldn't have it any other way, he wouldn't trust anyone else to watch out for her until she was back with her mother and that thought only added to his annoyance with the unsuspecting kid.

She leaned her palms into her knees, hunched over trying to catch her breath.

He stood starring at her. He hated the thoughts that entered his mind, ones that questioned her being strong enough to do this, fast enough to keep up if they needed to run for their lives. Without warning he found him self hating her for being the first to stop, as if her exhaustion was putting more weight on his shoulders.

But as quickly as that thought came came the self-hatred for thinking it hit him even harder. The disgust with himself only intensified when she lifted her head to look up at him. Her shoulders still raised and dropped harshly as she struggled to breathe, the hopelessness in her expression was the same he had seen that day by the stream, when she couldn't drag the drum of water back to the truck . She didn't need him judging her.

Daphne seemed completely unfazed by the sudden break, focused only on looking around them, looking at everything but them.

"We should follow the stream. We can keep it to our backs at night. It will help cover us" she said as she started walking ahead of them, ready to continue without an answer from them or even a look in their direction.

* * *

By the late afternoon he watched as Sophia started to slow her pace in front of him. The three of them had been walking in silence all day and he was grateful for that because it allowed him to listen to everything around them. She looked down at her feet that were dragging on the ground and he realised he didn't know how much rest she'd actually had overt he past few days.

"We should stop soon" he said as his sights drifted forward again.

"We still have a few hours of light left. We should keep going" Daphne urged, maintaining the same brisk pace she had kept all day.

He looked down and assessed the kid, wondering if he should have left her at the camp. Wondering if he made the right decision. He questioned himself as Mary had done, before he took her out into a war zone.

She was tired and slow and he couldn't help but think that he was being reckless, but then he had to wonder if the kid was right, was Mary and her group doomed? Was she safer with him?. He wanted to believe that she was safe with him. That he knew what he was doing. He wanted to believe that he was doing what Carol would have wanted him to do.

He bit his lip as he walked, glancing at the exhausted kid, before he let out a rough sigh. He quickly walked around her and reached down, yanking her off the ground and into his arms without warning.

She didn't say anything but he noticed Daphne look in his direction as he settled Sophia in his arms.

The kid stayed silent, resting her chin on his shoulder and leaning her head into his neck. It wasn't long before her body began to slouch in his arms and he heard her breathing change. He turned his head slightly when he realised she was sleeping, before he fixed his eyes ahead again and continued moving forward.

"You should have made her keep going"

He looked at Daphne out of the corner of his eye, wondering if she knew something he didn't, still questioning every decision he made.

"Why?" he mumbled, trying to act as if he was unfazed by the comment.

"Build her stamina up, make her stronger"

His brow instantly creased at the comment and he thought of a hundred different things he should reply with, but instead he stayed quiet and continued to consider the statement this stranger had made about a kid that she hadn't even known a day.

He wondered why her saying it had pissed him off so much, when he had thought something similar only a few hours ago.

* * *

They ate dinner and Sophia eyed Daphne the whole time, looking her her up and down with a obvious distaste. There was nothing Daphne could do right in Sophia's eyes and he found himself watching the women himself, just to see what made Sophia hate her so easily. But he found it hard to hate her when he knew jack-shit about her.

Early the next morning he sat by the fire with the kid asleep by his side, looking around them nervously.

He had only slept a few hours, unable to fully trust Daphne to keep them safe. When he had woken up for his shift, he saw her continually scanning the area with a knife firmly gripped in her hand. As he looked around he noticed the piled bodies of a three walker on the ground.

She was good at this he decided. Bringing her with them was most likely the best decision he had made, she was a hard ass, maybe to a fault. But he didn't need a sweet and compassionate person right now, he needed a coldblooded fighter who was ready for what was ahead.

Daphne had told him to wake her at first light, eager to leave as soon as possible. He had silently agreed with a nod, looking at the kid and wondering how she would cope with the early start.

He could see darkness easing away and he knew it wouldn't be long before it was time to leave. He started gathering up the few belongings they had and packing them away.

He walked over to Daphne and said her name in a rough whisper, happy when her eyes snapped open, worried he was going to have to shake her awake. The thought of touching her made him uncomfortable, even giving her a light shove to her arm made him feel uneasy.

Within minute of waking she was ready to leave and he waited until he had everything ready to go before waking Sophia.

He put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a light push as he spoke.

"You gotta wake up Soph" he told her as her eyes blinked opened to look up at him, her tiny fists rubbing them roughly as she took in her surroundings.

She eventually nodded and slowly got up. He watched as the cold morning air hit her when she stood up and he noticed her rubbing her arms trying to warm herself, while she looked around through glazed and unfocused eyes.

He quickly grabbed his jacket that she had been sleeping on and shook the dirt off it, holding open in front of her.

"Let's go" Daphne said eagerly while he helped Sophia slip her arms into the jacket. The kid was still half asleep and almost unaware of how slowly she was moving.

He ignored Daphne and started rolling the sleeves up on the jacket until he found her hands.

Daphne started walking off as he finished the last sleeve and he looked at Sophia in front of him as she yawned heavily.

"You ready?" he asked straightening up the jacket that hung down to her knees, watching as she nodded lazily and turned, following Daphne without a word.

They walked in a line and he found he was more comfortable with the positioning. Daphne led the way, Sophia was a few steps behind her and he followed them both. They kept going like this all day, without a word spoken between them.

As the day went on, Daphne's pace often picked up and she would occasionally look back at them to see if they were keeping up, rolling her eyes when she noticed that he was following Sophia's pace and not hers.

She was pissing him off. And he got even more pissed when he thought about the fact that Sophia could see Daphne's annoyance.

The kid was walking at a good speed, one that she had maintained all day without complaint. She didn't need anyone giving her shit when she was doing her best, much better then he himself thought she was capable of.

He watched Sophia attempt to quicken her steps and he followed her lead by increasing his own, but eventually she would slow again, unable to maintain it.

* * *

When they finally stopped for the night he dropped his pack to the ground and looked around, wandering off to get some sticks to start a fire.

He heard the light footsteps behind him and instantly stopped what he was doing. He turned to see her gathering up branches in her arms along with him, focusing on the ground searching for more.

The sight made him want to break down right there and then. He wished more then anything that Carol could see her right now. Whatever had happened back at the camp, had been put aside and her daughter was being brave. She wasn't glaring at him constantly or ignoring him, she was doing everything she could to survive and make it back to her mother.

He didn't care that she didn't like Daphne, she wasn't a likeable person and they didn't need to be best friends. He just needed someone who knew how to keep watch so he could sleep, help him take down walkers so he could protect the kid. That was his main priority. The kid was all that really mattered now and he would put up with Daphne to keep Sophia safe.

When his arms were full he looked over his shoulder and saw her looking up at him.

"This enough?" she questioned looking at the pile in her arms, making a smile quirk up on his lips unexpectedly.

"Yeah, it is"


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

At first, she had screamed. She'd cried and begged. She'd fought against the people trying to hold her down, until she heard his voice chiming in her head. _"I got her"_ that's what he said.  
She remembered the things she had seen him do. How quickly he killed walkers. How fast he moved. How strategic and careful he was.

Thinking about all of those things stopped her from fighting against the hands that were holding her in place.

Before she had been dragged into the RV, she'd only had a few seconds to look around her. She had seen the walkers get Jaqui and she had seen what remained of Amy lying on the ground. It was enough to make her panic hit a point beyond her control.

What she hadn't seen was Daryl getting hold of Sophia and running away from the herds. But Rick had promised her, over and over again, that he had seen them. He told her he believed that both Daryl and Sophia had survived.

And he promised that he would find them.

The first time Rick had made this promise to her, she was sure he'd only made the promise because he wanted her to stop crying, he wanted her to calm down and stop demanding that they let her out of the RV, so that she could go after them herself.

But that had been days ago, and with each of those passing days, Rick had continued to promise her that it was not over . He was sure that Sophia and Daryl were alive and that it was only a matter of time before they found them.

* * *

Sophia glanced over her shoulder at him, meeting his gaze before she let her head fall forward again. He guessed that she did this at least sixty times a day. Maybe she thought he'd get killed and they wouldn't hear it happen. Maybe she wanted to make sure he didn't run off on her, she hadn't told him that she thought he would, but sometimes he got the feeling she was waiting on him to do just that. But he also figured that maybe she just wanted a break from looking at the back of Daphne's heels all day.

Days had passed and nothing had changed. They slept, walked and then started again the next day. He occasionally caught a rabbit or some squirrels to help ration out their supplies, but he hadn't left them to go on a proper hunt and he wondered if he could ever trust Daphne enough to leave her alone with the kid.

It wasn't that he didn't think Daphne was physically capable of protecting Sophia. He had seen Daphne in action, she was strong and fought well. But he didn't know if she was really able to protect anyone other then herself, because Daphne seemed to have trouble thinking about anyone else other then herself.

"Is that a house" she asked, stopping and pointing to a small cabin that was hidden away in the woods. The three of them rarely spoke, so when Sophia's voice hit his ears, he almost tripped over his own feet, just from the silence being broken.

The three of them all froze and instantly started looking around them for any sign of danger. But when they looked around they saw nothing but the same scenery that they had been surrounded by for days.

"We should check it out. There might be supplies" Daphne pointed out, eagerly taking a step forward to get a closer look.

He gnawed at his lower lip and looked down at Sophia who was attached to his side.

"Looks abandoned" Daphne guessed while heading in it's direction, only stopping when she realised they weren't following her.

She looked over at him and raised her brow, wanting him to tell her why he wasn't making a move.

He looked down at Sophia again and back to the cabin, still chewing his lower lip as he considered what he was about to do.

This was why he had wanted to stay away from the roads. It would be easier to stay close to the roads and look for car and it would be easy to go running into a cabin, but it didn't mean it was safe.

"Should have a plan. Stupid to just go running into a place when we don't know what's inside" he firmly whispered, sure that he felt Sophia nodding in agreement, as she moved even closer to his side.

Daphne looked down at the kid and back to him with a heavy sigh, before giving into some argument that she was having in her own head.

"Well? Make one then"

* * *

He pulled the kid with him towards the cabin but stayed hidden in the tree line. He could feel Sophia's fingers gripping a fistful of his shirt as they crept closer, letting him know that she was near and he didn't need to be concerned about her whereabouts right now. But it didn't stop him from stealing glances at her as they moved. He hated seeing how nervous she was, he hated knowing that those nerves were only going to get worse as this plan unfolded.

As they got closer he grew more relaxed about what they were doing. It was quiet and it looked like no one had been there in a long time. But he still wanted to be cautious.

His eyes scanned the dirt surrounding the cabin, but he couldn't make out what the tracks in the dirt were from, unsure if they were walkers or people. He guessed it was nothing but walkers, but he wanted to be certain before they went running in. He didn't want to drag Sophia into anything, unless he was sure she'd be ok. As sure as he could be anyway. Mostly, he didn't want anyone to ever accuse him of being reckless with Sophia, not like Mary had done and not like the voice in his head that continued to pester him.

So he would take his time and he would make sure that all of his decisions were well thought out.

He turned to Daphne and focused on her eyes as he spoke, assuring himself that she was listening to him as he told her what he intended to do.

"You stay here, I'll have a look around. If I see someone I'll let ya know, then you run back where we came from and I'll catch up. Keep safe."

She sharply nodded, letting him know she was ready. He looked down and watched her tightening her grip in her knife, before he stepped forward. He was prepared to go, until he noticed that he could still feel Sophia hanging on to him.

"Wait with Daphne" he requested quietly, watching her head shake in response and her grip on him tighten.

"I'll go with you" she said in a determined tone that made him actually consider the idea, until he realised just how stupid that would be.

"I'll be right back" he promised, softening his voice, but she showed no intention of letting him go.

"I'm staying with you" she demanded again, pressing her whole body into his side as if she could glue herself to him by pure will.

He was ready to reply. He knew how to reason with Sophia. He knew that he just needed to explain himself and she would understand. But he didn't have a chance when Daphne reached out and grabbed a hold of Sophia's arm, pulling the kid back and forcing Sophia to release her hold on him.

Sophia instantly snatched her arm out of Daphne's grasp and stepped away from her, glaring at her.

He felt a cold rise of anger in his chest that he didn't expect. It hadn't been very rough and she hadn't hurt the kid, but still he didn't like it.

He looked down at Sophia as she turned her anger away from Daphne to focus it on him. He didn't care that her enraged expression was now locked on him, he himself was seconds away from telling Daphne to back the fuck off. If they hadn't been in the middle of executing a plan, he would have done just that.

"Two minutes" he assured her, watching her suck in a deep breath through her nose before crossing her arms and taking another step back.

He ran with his crossbow, sneaking over to the side of the cabin and moving himself below a window. When he looked in he saw two walkers in the small living room and nothing more. No one had been there in a long time and he was sure of it now. The tracks in the dirt were crisscrossing, showing that it was walkers that had been passing through. From what he could see, there was nothing for them to worry about.

He straightened up and looked over to them, giving them a nod and watching as they came out of the woods.

"Nothing?" Daphne questioned as she made her way over to him, still gripping her knife at her side.

"Two walkers. Far as I can tell, that's it."

She took in the information and quickly moved to the front of the house, out of their sight. He watched Daphne leave before he walked over to Sophia and inspected her arm, there was no marks or bruise left from Daphne, but he knew that didn't really matter.

"You alright?"

She shrugged in reply but he could see that it had put her on edge. Maybe another kid wouldn't have thought to much about the action, but she wasn't any other kid.

He knew without doubt that Sophia would have let go of him eventually, she just needed a bit of patients, but he wasn't sure that Daphne was capable of it.

They made their way up the steps onto the porch, listening as the walkers inside began moaning as they became aware of their presence.

He dropped his pack down and placed his hand lightly on the kids shoulder, moving her away from the door.

"Keep your back to the wall and call out to me if you see anything ok"

She agreed and instantly started looking around the cabin for any signs of danger.

It took only minutes to take down the walkers and clear the small cabin before he was calling the kid into the house.

She walked in with his bag, stepping around the walkers bodies carefully.  
Over the past few days Sophia was getting more comfortable being close to the corpses. He had noticed, when they were back at the camp, that she seemed just as afraid of them when they were dead, as when they were alive. But slowly, she was accepting that once he killed them, they couldn't hurt her.

"It's late enough. We'll stay here the night" he said to Sophia, making her lip slightly curve and her whole form visibly relax.

He saw the surprise on Daphne's face from the corner of his eye.

"But we still got a few hours-"

"Were staying here" he barked, cutting Daphne off with a tone much harsher then he had intended. She rolled her eyes, but gave in and dropped her bag to the ground.

"Help me get them outside" he said hooking his hands under the arms of the bigger walker.

Daphne followed him and grabbed a hold of the smaller one, before they started dragging their bodies out the back door.

Once they had them on the dirt he wiped his hands on his pants and looked over to Daphne who was ready to head back inside.

He had been waiting for the anger in him to subside, but it hadn't. He was pissed and he knew the only way he was going to feel better about it, was to say something.

"We gotta talk" he said making her stop and turn to face him, whipping her black hair around in the process.

"You wanna stay here it's fine. Just thought we could cover some more ground before dark" she explained as she rested her hand on her hip.

"Ain't that." He said with a grunt while shaking his head at her. "You wanna question my choices, that's fine. I could give a shit. But you grab her like that again and your on ya own." he growled in a cold tone.

"I didn't hurt her" she reasoned, obviously annoyed that he was irritated over something that was quite obviously insignificant to her.

"Ain't the point." he growled, shaking his head as he spoke.

"Then what is" she asked crossing her arms and straightening her posture.

"Point is, she ain't your concern and your gonna keep ya hands off her."

She rolled her eyes as if she thought he was overacting, but it only further cemented the fact that she didn't have a damn clue what she was dealing with.

"Daryl she needs to toughen up. You had a job to do and she was-"

"Stop" he snapped cutting her, his jaw tightening and the crease in his brow deepening. "You don't know her- and like I said, she ain't your concern. You leave her be."

He turned to walk back into the house, his steps faltering when he saw Sophia standing in the doorway with flushed cheeks and downcast eyes. He sighed heavily as he watched her turn and hurry back inside. Giving him a pretty good idea of how long she had been standing there.

* * *

They sat around the living room eating in silence. Daphne had tried to make conversation with Sophia twice but never got response. It left the silence between them feeling thick and uncomfortable, but he had no intention of trying to fix it just so Daphne felt comfortable.

He had kept a close eye on the kid all evening, wondering what was going through her head. He knew she had heard Daphne say that she needed to toughen up. He knew that's what had caused the bleak and distant look to appear in her eyes, one that he didn't know how to erase. But he knew he was going to have to try.

Daphne always took the first shift and he always watched her get ready. He couldn't help himself. The women fixed her hair and put make up on. She dressed like she was getting ready to go out to a trashy dive bar, hoping to get laid.

He couldn't for the life of him figure out why the hell she bothered.

There was no denying she was attractive, he had thought it when he first laid eyes on her, but that initial assessment was demolished in hours.

He knew Merle would have fallen head over heels in love with this girl, she was the strong, beautiful, cold-hearted bitch he'd been looking for.

But It had taken Daryl all of one day to see her as nothing more then someone to keep watch. She just wasn't his type of person. She was far to self involved, hard and unrelenting. He knew that ultimately she would leave them to die if she had to. She just wanted to get back to her group and in the end he couldn't blame her, because he knew if it came down to it he would do the same thing.

When she left to go outside and take watch he looked over at Sophia who had settled

herself onto the small couch. He made his way over and sat on the ground in front it and

leaned his back against it. There was a bedroom and an armchair by the window, but he

knew he wouldn't be able to get to sleep if he knew he wasn't close enough to

grab her and run if he had to.

She still looked upset and distant but her eyes slightly softened when he turned to look at her.

"You don't listen to her, you hear me. What she said out there was bullshit" he murmured getting himself comfortable.

She didn't answer but he didn't expect her to. There was still concern etched in her features, but he knew that he probably couldn't do much about that. All he could do was tell her that he didn't agree with what Daphne had to say and that it didn't matter what some bitch they barely knew thought anyway.

"She don't know shit about us. She's just here so I can get some sleep and that's it" he added leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Hoping she was taking in what he had told her.

* * *

The next morning when he headed back inside from watch he found Sophia asleep in the armchair by the window. He let out a groan, wondering how long she had sat up watching him circle the house on patrol, hoping she had at least gotten some rest.

He walked over to Daphne and spat her name out harshly as usual, waking her up instantly. He was pretty sure, that somewhere in Daphne's head, she was always waiting to move.

He grabbed a hold of his jacket before kneeling down next to the arm chair.

"Time to get up kid" he told her giving her the usual light rub on her arm that he did every morning. It was never easy getting her up. He actually hated doing it because she always looked so peaceful when she was asleep and he didn't like being the one to disturb that.

He felt like he was stealing something from her. But today when she forced her eyes open he saw how red and tired they still were, showing him that she hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep for the journey.

He nodded to himself and held the jacket out for her. She slid her arms in and turned to face him so he could adjust the sleeves.  
When he was satisfies she looked warm enough, he grabbed his pack that was near empty chair and put it on her back, though the kid was so dazed that she barely noticed.

After slinging his crossbow over his shoulder he reached down and picked her up and he was sure she had fallen asleep again before her head even hit his shoulder.

He adjusted her in his arms and looked over at Daphne who was waiting by the front door for them.

He could almost hear what she was thinking, causing him to shake his head firmly at her as he passed by her.

"Not a goddamn word"


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"It's been over a week man. Not a fuckin trace of em" Shane growled, trying to keep his voice low.

Shane didn't want to keep going. He'd made that much clear. He'd made it so clear in fact, that Carol wondered why Shane was keeping his voice so low. This was nothing she hadn't already heard.

It would be easy to forgive Shane for being cautious. Carl had been shot and though it had only been a flesh wound, it was easy to understand why Shane was reluctant to continue on searching for Daryl and Sophia when it was so dangerous out there.

If that had have been the reason, Carol could excuse Shane. But that wasn't the reason.

As Carol hid in the entryway, by the front door, listening to Shane and Rick argue on the porch, she remembered conversations she'd had with Daryl about Shane.

She'd told him that she thought Shane appeared very supportive of Daryl, that he seemed to be willing to stand by Daryl.

Daryl had told her, that Shane was always going to look after his own interests.

The day that Shane had pressured Daryl to hunt was proof of that. And now that he was pressuring Rick to slow down the searches for Daryl and Sophia, after only ten days, was more proof that Daryl was right.

And that was why Shane didn't want to look for them. He simply didn't care. He had his family safe. The people who he held dear to him were safe. He didn't want anything to jeopardize that.

Funnily enough, Daryl had also told her that Rick would only ever work to protect his own family. Yet ever since Sophia and Daryl and gotten separated from the group, Rick had been the one leading the search parties. Because Rick was certain that both Daryl and Sophia were fine.

Rick calmly shook his head. "We don't know how far they got pushed back. We don't know what direction. We just have to-"

"That's right we don't fuckin know." Shane snapped, cutting Rick off. "We ain't trackers Rick. The tracker is fuckin gone. He got chased off by a hundred damn walkers. Face it brother. They. Are. Gone."

Rick didn't loose his cool and he didn't let Shane sway him. He continued to explain to Shane that he was not going to give up. Rick explained the same thing ten different ways, until Shane was far to frustrated to continue on with the conversation.

Then she watched on as they both started marching off into the dark.

She had been on her way back to the RV, when she had stumbled onto Rick and Shane arguing. Rather then go out and make things awkward, she waited them out.

She waited a few seconds until she was sure that they wouldn't hear her come out, before she started to make her move. That was when she felt his eyes burning into the back of her neck.

"Wanna talk to ya" Ed requested in a firm whisper from behind her.

She let out a heavy sigh and continued looking through the screen towards the RV. She knew Ed wouldn't do anything. Not here. Ed had been on his best behavior since they arrived at the Farm because he wanted to stay there. Herschel had been kind enough to care for Carl after Otis had accidentally shot him. He also offered his land up as a base while they searched for Daryl and Sophia. He had offered them food, shelter and all of the amenities that the farm had to offer. But Carol couldn't enjoy them.

She didn't turn back and she didn't give him any sign that she had heard him, she just walked out onto the porch and and down the stairs, ignoring the sounds of him following her.

As she approached the RV, she realized she could still hear him following her. She didn't mean to growl out in frustration but it had happened. The noise was weak and quiet, but she knew he had heard it and she knew it surprised him as much as it did her.

Ed horrified her and with good reason. But something about that fear had shifted and something about it didn't feel the same. It was still there, but it felt less familiar. And she figured it was because she didn't have someone to protect. It was just her.

She didn't have to worry about Sophia being behind her or even Daryl's reaction. Sophia wasn't going to be frightened and Daryl wasn't going to be put in a position to deal with her problems. Knowing that, changed things.

"What do you want" she asked spinning around to face him as she tightly folded her arms across her chest.

Ed looked amused. The expression he was wearing, right down to the way he was standing, reminded Carol of how Ed used to be. Or at least how she thought he was. When they first met, she had been been intrigued by him. Charmed by him. But now she only saw it as being fooled by him. And it wasn't going to happen again.

"You remember that Bed and Breakfast?" Ed asked glancing back over his shoulder towards the house.

She nodded. She knew what he was talking about, because she'd thought the same thing when they first drove through Herschel's gates. It looked almost exactly like the Bed and Breakfast that she and Ed had once stayed at.

They had traveled to a small town to attend the wedding of Ed's cousin. It was a two day drive to get there and on the way home they had stumbled onto a B&B that Ed decided they would spend the night at.

The trip had caused a lot of stress. And Ed didn't handle stress well. It seemed like unless everything went absolutely perfectly then Ed didn't know how to cope. And even if everything did go perfectly, Ed found a reason to prove that nothing was as good as it appeared.

"Now that was a nice weekend"

She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "You broke my nose"

She could see it there on Ed's face, the confusion and straining he was experiencing.

"You don't remember do you?" She asked as Ed continued to scan through his memories.

"We were driving home and I couldn't figure out the map. So you broke my nose." She added, feeling her stomach clench at the memory. She could still hear him yelling at her, still see the blood pooling into her hands.

"I guess it was easy for you to forget. It wasn't your nose" she added, assuring Ed that his little trip down memory lane had done nothing but upset her more then she already was. If Ed's plan of attack was nostalgia, then he needed a new plan.

She shook her head to herself and turned to make her way into the RV.

"There gone, Carol. Dead." Ed said firmly, in a cold tone that she was much more familiar with.

Those cold words froze her to the bone. They were her biggest fear and something that she spent so much of her time trying not to think about. But hearing them out loud felt like a harsh slap across the face.

She felt tears stinging her eyes and her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to do so many things in that moment, but she knew she could never bring herself to do them. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, trying to remember just how capable Daryl was. And as always, when she feared for Sophia, she could hear Daryl in her head - "I got her".

"They're dead. But I'm not."

She opened her mouth, ready to tell Ed to go to Hell, But she never got a chance to say a single word.

"That's it. Leave. Fuck off" Andrea snapped as she sung the RV door open.

"This here is a private conversation I'm having with my wife." Ed growled, struggling to keep his tone leveled.

Andrea laughed and looked around the space dramatically. "Your wife? Where is she? All I see here is Carol."

Ed's lip curled, an obvious sign that he was not amused and he was already dreaming up ways in which he could punish Andrea for her boldness."Get back in there and mind yours"

Carol stepped back as Andrea pulled the gun from the waist of her pants and she noticed Ed's eyes widen.

Andrea had no intention of shooting Ed. Even Ed knew that. It was nothing more then a threat. Maybe even a reminder, that he didn't really have the upper hand that he seemed to always believe he had.

"Don't for a second think that these little games your playing are going to work and don't think that I won't be telling him all about them when he gets back." Andrea promised, locking her eyes with Ed while she spoke, before turning them to face Carol.  
Carol noticed Andrea's face instantly soften as she nodded her head at her. "And he is coming back."

She smiled at Andrea and returned the nod.

He would be back and no amount of Ed's wishing otherwise would change that.

* * *

It had been ten days since they had been on the road and it was becoming harder and harder not to let his mind drift.

He caught himself thinking of stupid things. Her laugh, her smile, they way her skin glistened on a hot day. But with those images came a rapid heartbeat and an ache that threatened to break through the protective wall that he had formed, in order to keep him from completely freaking out. Because with those memories came thoughts and questions.

The voice in his head telling him he was chasing a ghost or at the very least he was looking for a needle in a haystack. The voice told him he was going to get Sophia killed. That she would have been better of with literally anyone else, other then him.

The times when he was on watch, or earlier in the evenings when he was alone with Sophia, listening to her steady breaths, they were the hardest parts. And as time went on it only got harder .

It was just to quiet and he had nothing to occupy himself with, that was when he found it impossible not to wonder if Carol was safe. Had the group gotten away? Was she so sick with worry that she wasn't thinking clearly? Was Ed making her life hell? Had she been injured, bitten or killed?

Some nights he fought the urge to yell at the voice in his head, who was working hard on flooding his thoughts with what if's. He wanted to smack himself to shake the thoughts out. He wanted to scream, cry and break something all at once. But one thing stopped him. One thing assured that he worked as hard as he could to push those thoughts aside. The kid. Her daughter. He was going to return her to Carol, even if he had to kill everything that stood in his path.

He loved Carol and he knew Carol loved him. But he wasn't naive or brain dead. He knew that Carol had one thing, one single thing she would kill and die for. He knew she had one thing that she simply couldn't live without. And that was the very thing he had in his possession.

He stood looking around him while Sophia leaned into the stream to fill her hands with water and splash her face once more.

"Where are we?" she asked blinking back the water that was falling from her brow.

"Jackson Mississippi" he answered while continuing to search the area.

"We close?"

"Closer then we were yesterday" He said trying to keep his tone as casual as possible.

He didn't want to say anything else that might make the kids anxiety spiral out of control. Not anymore then it already had. Because each day that passed, she seemed to be getting worse and worse. But there was nothing he could do to help her. Not when he was barely coping himself.

They walked around ten hours a day and she still found time to pick at the threads on on her pants, so much that one of her knees was was fully exposed.

He remembered exactly what Carol had told him about the nervous action and what it meant. Sophia was horrified and even though he thought she hid it well, there were still times when he could see it breaking through the mask she was wearing.

Only two days ago, he had seen Daphne watching the kids tiny fingers mindlessly plucking away at the threads. She had opened her mouth to question the kid about it. But he had caught her eye first.  
His features had hardened instantly, shaking his head and locking his eyes with hers.

Fact was that Sophia had been doing fine until Daphne opened her big mouth and voiced her opinions at the cabin, now the kid felt like shit and he didn't want Daphne making it any worse then she already had.

"Daryl" the girl whispered harshly. He followed her gaze quickly expecting to see a walker but that wasn't what had caught her attention.

He lifted the crossbow and took the shot, taking down the plump rabbit.

He looked down at her, unable to stop himself from smiling widely.

"Good job" he laughed, making her lip curve for the first time in days.

"You're the one that killed it" she said dropping her head and wiping her wet hands over her pants.

"Thanks to you. You done good" he corrected, still smiling down at her.

They fell back into the same silence they always fell into, as they made their way back to the temporary campsite.

As they quietly made their way into the space, he noticed Daphne looking between him and Sophia. She appeared to be examining them, as though she were trying to decipher their moods or train of thought.

He got the feeling that Daphne was something of a social person. She liked to talk and she enjoyed tedious conversations, ones that people created for the sole purpose of filling the silence. But that wasn't something he enjoyed. It was something Carol had enjoyed and from what he could tell it wasn't something Sophia enjoyed. But it was hard to tell what Sophia actually enjoyed.

Most of the time he knew that Sophia was purposefully ignoring Daphne's presence, but sometimes Sophia was quiet simply because Sophia was used to being that way. Weather it was a part of her personality or something she had learned in order to please her father, he didn't really know.

She knelled down beside him and leaned back on her heels, watching him as he pulled his knife out.

"You need somethin?" he asked, stopping his hands before they continued.

She peered up at him and shook her head, resting her hands on her knees.

"You don't gotta watch this Soph" he added quietly so Daphne couldn't hear.

"I wanna learn" she assured him, but he wasn't sure if he should rip the skin of the fuzzy little creature in front of her. She'd seen him do it before. But it was different doing it right in front of her face like this. And Sophia seemed to sense his reluctance and maybe she even understood why he didn't think this was a good idea.

"You been doing this since you were a kid right?" she asked as though she could read the concern in his face.

He shrugged and nodded as he took in the question."Well,… Yeah"

"Younger then me?" she added raising her brow. Daryl still wasn't really sure how old Sophia was. He wasn't sure if he had been told and forgotten, or he'd just never asked after the information. Either way, he didn't need to know how old she to know she was at least twice the age he was when his father taught him to skin a rabbit. But he doubted he should use any of the experiences he had with his father a some kind of reference.

"Well? Where ya?" she pressed when he didn't answer.

He nodded again."I guess I was"

Sophia shrugged, as though the answer was simple. It was obvious. And maybe it was, but he still felt uncomfortable.

"So,.. ok then. Do it" Sophia said, nodding to the corpse in his hands.

He sighed heavily, wondering if Carol would approve of this. Problem was he couldn't decide if she would or not. She wanted Sophia to survive, she wanted to protect her, but she also didn't want the kid completely traumatized.

"Get on with it." Sophia added waving her hand in a circle to get him moving along.

He decided that if she wanted to learn then he had to just let her make up her own mind. She wasn't exactly a baby and if she thought she could handle it then who was he to stop her.

He started breaking bones and stretching skin, keeping a close eye on her and noticing that she was focusing on every move his hands made without even flinching.

When he tore the fur off with one sharp tug he looked over and actually saw her nodding to herself as if her mind was taking in the information and making sense of it.

When the task was complete he looked over to her again and she met his gaze sternly.

"I'm gonna do the next one you catch" she said before she stood up and walked back to the fire. He knew this was what she was getting at by wanting to watch in the first place, but the idea of it still made him feel uneasy.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

It had been more then a week of watching her do this and he was fairly certain that he wasn't going to get used to the sight or the eagerness she showed.

He watched her tiny hands snap the bones back and noticed her nod to herself slightly before she grabbed the knife.

He wasn't sure if he was a good teacher or if Sophia was just a natural. What he did know, was that her precision only made it harder to watch.

She didn't hesitate when she ripped the fur away, but the swift and rough movements she made when tearing the fuzzy creatures apart, always caused him to flinch.

"Alright. It's ready" Sophia announced, as she turned what was left of the rabbit over in her hands.

He forced a smile when she turned to face him, after she finished her inspection of the carcass. What else could he do?

They were lingering on the outskirts of Montgomery hoping to figure out a way, a safe way, to move forward.

They had avoided towns for the most part, but now they were planning on walking right into one and he was trying to hide the fact that he was shitting himself at the thought.

There was no point in sharing those feelings, because in the end they didn't have much choice. They needed supplies, but more precisely he needed weapons.

He didn't like guns. They weren't a good idea around the walkers, the sound only drew more in and they were also a good way of letting people know of your existence and whereabouts. The last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to the fact that they were out in the woods alone. So, if guns could be avoided, then he would avoid them at all costs. But the fact that he was out of bullets, proved that sometimes there was no way around it.

Sometimes he simply found himself in a tight spot and he was left with no other choice but to pull the trigger.

As he served up the food he noticed that Sophia made sure to sit herself facing him, keeping herself angled away from Daphne and he noticed Daphne roll her eyes at the sight.

For the most part, Sophia simply avoided Daphne and Daryl found that a pretty fucking interesting thing to witness. Simply because it seemed impossible. But Sophia, someone who was stuck with Daphne, had found a way to ignore the women's existence.

"We stayin' here?" Sophia asked in between bites.

He shook his head and met her eyes. "Nah, some houses should be close by. Get us one for the night."

Sophia tried to hide her excitement, but he could see it dancing around in her eyes. After the week they'd had, he was happy to see it. He preferred it to the glare he had been receiving from her over the last few days.

Three things had happened, that he didn't take much notice of at the time. But with each occurrence he'd found Sophia eyeing him and the expression she offered had made him a bit uncomfortable. It was a good mix of anger and betrayal, but he didn't think he had earned either from the kid.

The first, was the foot trap.

They had been marching in the same line they always had. Daphne led the way, Sophia walked a few steps ahead of him, while he trailed along behind them.

He'd just happened to look at the ground ahead of Daphne to see the trap sticking up through the leaves. Without much thought he ran ahead and wrapped his arm around her waist, yanking her back before she trod on the thing.

He told her to keep an eye out for more and turned to tell Sophia to do the same thing. When he looked back, Sophia was staring up at him, glaring as though she was considering whacking him across the head with a branch.

The second occurrence, was when they had to cut across a stream.

There was a strong current and the rocks below the surface were slippery enough that he told Daphne he would take Sophia across and come back and give her a hand.

Once he had carried Sophia across and settled her feet safely on the hard ground, he turned and went back.

He'd taken her bag and offered his arm for her to hold onto while they trod carefully across the stream.  
They had made it without anyone falling or breaking anything, none of their shit got ruined and everyone was alive, but Sophia looked like she was considering drowning his ass in the stream.

The third incident had happened this morning.  
They'd been sleeping out in the open for days and he was thankful that they were nearing a town, it gave them more hope of being able to spend some time under a roof.

He didn't mind sleeping outside. But he didn't like Sophia sleeping outside on the ground. It mean they had less protection and that meant that he worried even more then he already did. So he was in a pretty good mood, knowing that they were looking at a good stretch of time ahead of them, where they might be able to rely on the protection of some walls at night.

He couldn't remember the joke that Daphne had made when he woke her up, but he felt light enough for the minute to snicker at it.

The reaction was probably as close to laughing as he'd mustered since he left Carol's side. It wasn't much, but it had earned him damn good glare from Miss Sophia, who he started to fear was plotting his demise. He was a bit worried that he's be murdered in his sleep, never knowing exactly what he had done to deserve it.

He didn't think to much of Sophia's moodiness. He knew she was most likely just looking for shit to be angry at. He never pushed her for answers. He could take her dirty looks and cold shoulder, as long as she minded him when she needed too and she didn't give up on their end game. She could be just as pissed as she needed to be.

He just needed her to keep going.

* * *

By the later afternoon they had stumbled upon a house and he left both Sophia and Daphne behind to make sure it was safe.

Once he checked the place out he turned to give them the all clear.

He waited in his spot while Sophia ran ahead of Daphne to glue herself back to his hip.

"Nothin' inside. Looks like it's been empty for a good while" he told them as he knelled down on the ground.

He dropped his bag in the dirt and started going through it, looking for a bottle of water when he heard Sophia's sharp intake of breath, quickly followed by Daphne barking out his name.

It happened quickly.

Four Walkers came at him from his right side and Daphne ran at them, ready to start taking them down with him.

As her knife connected with the skull of the first, his bolt took down another. He pulled his knife out, ready to take down another, when he noticed that a fifth was coming out of the woods.

There was no time to go after it when he had one so close to him already. Daphne was wrestling with her own, trying to reach up and take it out, struggling because of its height.

He killed the one he had, but as he turned to take down the late comer he saw that it had his sights set on Sophia.

In true Sophia form, she had her eyes close and ears covered and he could once again see her mouth moving in a quiet whisper.

He ran at the walker as it approached her and tackled it to the ground. Trying to hold it in place while it snapped its teeth at him. He aimed and swung his arm, instantly feeling the the skull break as he drove his knife through it's temple.

He was so relieved and at the same time in a state of panic.

It was far to close and that alone was enough to snatch the air from his lungs. He rolled off the thing onto his back and sucked down a few rough breaths, trying to calm himself down.

"What the hell were you thinking" Daphne growled viciously, making his head snap up, assuming she was talking to him.

She stood over Sophia glaring down at the girl who was still far to freaked out to answer.

"Are you stupid? Why the hell would you close your goddamn eyes?"

"Hey!" he barked, jumping up to his feet and storming over to her.

"She almost got you killed. You saw what she did" Daphne snapped pointing at at Sophia while she spoke.

"Shut ya fuckin' mouth Daphne" he growled back through his teeth. Hoping his tone alone was enough to warn her. She was shitting herself, he could see it in her eyes, but she didn't know what to do with that fear.

"How are we supposed to protect her when she's to stupid to-"

"There ain't no _WE. _You hear me! I don't need to you to protect her. She's not your concern and I fucking told you that shit already." He reached down and snatched the kid off the ground roughly and headed into the house. His anger only got worse when he pulled the kid into his arms, she was shaking like a leaf, she was pale and obviously in shock. She didn't need this shit.

What he had said was true. There was no _We. _He didn't care that Daphne was scared. He didn't care about her feelings or thoughts. All he cared about was Carol's kid, all he could think about was what Carol would think if she could see the look on Sophia's face right now.

They usually all stayed in the same room at night, but he was damn near ready to loose his mind at Daphne and he needed a break before he snapped and left her ass behind.

He walked into the first bedroom he spotted and closed the door behind him before he planted the kid on the mattress. As he stepped back, he could see that her eyes were flooded with tears and her face was red raw.

He sat down next to her and tried to swallow his anger down, knowing it would only make things worse right now.

"You alright?" he asked trying to keep his tone even. She nodded and wiped her eyes off harshly, obviously wishing the tears weren't there.

"I'm sorry. I was scared. I didn't mean to-" she whispered weakly keeping her eyes on the floor.

"You'd be stupid not to be scared. And I was fine, I'm here ain't I?" he promised, as he watched her defeated expression deepen.

"She's right". She kept her eyes locked on the shiny hard wood floors, while her fingers pulled at the threads around her knee anxiously. The sight of her right now made his stomach twist. The sight added another blow to the blunt pain that he felt in his chest, every time he thought of Carol. And that made him angry.

"No she ain't. She's a cold bitch. I told you, she don't know us. She don't know you. She's got no right talkin to ya like that"  
He quickly swallowed down some breaths and tried to pull back the anger rising in him before he walked out there and lost his mind at the women.

He knew he needed to find a way to get Sophia to stop reacting to the Walkers the way she did, but yelling at her? Calling her stupid? Blaming her for shit that she wasn't in control of? That was not the way to help her. If anything, he was sure Daphne had just made things worse.

"I'm useless" she added quietly, her voice breaking as the words left her mouth.

His brow knitted together and he lowered his head slightly as her words swam through his head.

"No ya ain't. Why would you say that?" he questioned, his jaw tensing more and more as he considered the statement.  
"Did she say that?" he spat, ready to go out there and rip into the cold bitch.

But when Sophia shook her head in response, he froze in place and watched the tears reappear before she turned away from him.

She crawled across the fancy king size bed and dropped down onto the mattress with a thud, keeping her back to him while she curled up into a ball.

He watched her for a long moment, feeling all the rage drain from him at the sight of her lying there.

He moved back on the bed until he was leaning into the headboard and got himself comfortable. It was late and he knew that they both needed to sleep. They were all exhausted and he would need to get up later and go on watch, so he decided not to push this much further.

He knew she was silently crying but he didn't know what he was supposed to say to soothe her. He wasn't any good at that shit. Anything he had to say would just be him repeating himself and he didn't think she really wanted to talk to him right now anyway. But with all that in his head, he also knew he couldn't just sit there and say nothing.

"You ain't stupid, n'ya' sure as shit ain't useless. Anyone who says you are, is an asshole"

She didn't respond but he did notice her breathing even out slightly and for that he was grateful, he didn't really have much more to offer her.

He wasn't a complete moron. He knew who had told her that shit. But he didn't want to taint the air she was breathing with the assholes name. It wasn't going to help her right now. The more she even thought about that prick the worse shit was going to be.

* * *

He woke to the quiet knock at the door and his name being called in a hushed tone.

He ignored Daphne for a second and looked over at Sophia. The kid hadn't been disturbed by the sound and he was relieved that she could spend a bit more time lost in whatever it was she dreamed about.

He got himself up slowly and grabbed the corner of the blanket that they both had fallen asleep on top of., pausing only for a second when he heard Daphne slowly open the door behind him. He didn't turn to see her, instead he continued on folding the blanket over the kid before grabbing his things and leaving her to sleep.

He walked to the bedroom door and Daphne folded her arms around herself tightly, defensively as always. She stepped out of his way and watched him cautiously as he approached.

"You want me to stay with her" she offered, but her tone was almost condescending.

"I want you to stay the fuck away from her" he spat in a harsh low growl as he stepped around her and went outside to go on watch.

* * *

He walked around the house keeping a keen eye on everything, while he tried to burn out the anger he had in him. He knew he probably shouldn't be as pissed as he was, but he couldn't help it. The women was driving him up the wall.

He didn't understand why someone would see a scared kid and snap the way Daphne did. He never thought she would actually hurt Sophia, but she damn sure wasn't doing her any good. She couldn't stop for a single second and consider the reasons why Sophia was the way she was. And that was more then enough to annoy the shit out of him.

Daphne was without a doubt the most selfish person he'd met in a good long while.

He decided that he needed to keep the kid close from now on, even closer then he already had been. He didn't want her to have to deal with Daphne on top of everything else. Basic fact was that he only needed Daphne for was a few hours in the evening to keep watch and that was the end of it.

When he could see the darkness dying he went inside and walked passed Daphne leaving her asleep on the sofa and headed into the bedroom where he had left Sophia.

To his surprise she was awake, sitting on the middle of mattress looking at a notebook while eating what looked like a granola bar.

"Where'd ya find that?"

"In the drawer over there" she said, pointing her finger to the vanity. He looked around the room and noticed that she had been ransacking it, nothing was as he'd left it.

"Got you one" she added tossing the bar onto the mattress.

He sat himself down and tried look over at what Sophia was reading but he couldn't get a clear view.  
"What ya looking at?" he asked biting half the stale bar in one go.

"It's like a diary or something. Not really sure" she said narrowing her eyes on the page.

"There's another one here..for her" Sophia mumbled, lazily holding the bar up in the air as she continued looking at the book she found.  
He dropped his fingers over her wrist and pushed her hand back down. "You eat it."

Sophia looked up at him and slightly narrowed her brow.

"I'm serious Soph. Eat the bar"

Sophia watched him for a moment longer before she shrugged and opened the wrapping.

He leaned over and looked down at the handwritten lists that filled the book and rolled his eyes, snorting loudly.

"What is it?" she questioned when he made the obnoxious noise. He reached over and pointed to the list.

"Counting calories. In food."

He watched Sophia's brow crease. The explanation only seemed to leave her more confused.

"I don't get it" she said as if he had just given her a riddle to solve.

"It's a dieting thing…making sure she didn't eat to much so she could stay skinny… and by the looks of it, this women was near dead long before the world ended"

Sophia eyed the book even closer as though she was still searing for something that would her her understand. "How did you know that?"

"Merle was fuc-… He had a girlfriend that used to do it."

Sophia still looked confused but instead of questioning the book any further she tossed it aside.

"You find anything else?" he asked taking his last bite of the bar and wiping his hands together to swipe away the crumbs.

She looked up at him and smiled widely, before reaching over her side to grab something. He choked out a laugh as she carefully placed a gun and a box of bullets in between them.

_Definitely not stupid or useless._

"Guess we can avoid that damn town now. You just saved our asses" he boasted, receiving a shy grin in return.

* * *

That afternoon they started to slow down so that he he could hunt, like he usually did before night fall. He never went far and usually assured that he could keep them in sight, or at least earshot.

"We might as well set up camp here for the night" he said looking around.

Daphne dropped her bag and started collecting up branches and Sophia instantly went to help her, until he called her name.

"Come with me" he said before the kid could follow behind Daphne any further.

"Your not hunting?" Daphne questioned, watching as Sophia wandered over to his side.

"Yeah I am. We are." He corrected, keeping his eyes set on Sophia who frowned in confusion before wiping the crease from her brow and chewing her lip nervously.

"You can leave her with me Daryl, I can keep an eye on her"  
He nodded to Sophia and turned leaving Daphne at their chosen spot. "Get the fire started. We'll be back soon" He said without looking back to her.

* * *

She was quiet. She took careful steps and had a good sense of her surroundings. She had been this way for as long as he had known her. Always looking around and examining everything. It was odd to think that these qualities in her used to make him nervous.

He remembered being around her at the quarry and at the campsite, he'd wished like hell that she would calm down, because she made him so damn anxious every time he looked at her. Now he was relieved that she was like this. This was how he needed her to be.

He just hated to think about the reasons behind it, knowing that Ed was to blame. But the fact was that he would take what he could get right now. He would accept any trait that helped him keep her safe.

That thought reminded him there were other things he needed to tend to.

There wasn't much use in her being aware of her surroundings when she shut down whenever things got to intense. He didn't need her to fight. He needed her to fucking run.

They had been around walkers a lot since they had been out here and for the most part she had handled it well. But the difference between those times and what happened yesterday was that she was alone. He and Daphne couldn't get to her and Sophia knew it, her response to that fear was to switch off. Disappear inside herself.  
He needed to work on that with her and he needed to handle this shit with more care then he was actually capable of.

"Daryl. There."

He lifted his crossbow before had even looked at her, ready to follow her keen eye.

He took the shot and took down the rabbit. He had barely lowered his crossbow when Sophia moved from his side over to the rabbit.

He watched her carefully, caught in his own thoughts as she pulled the bolt from the rabbit.

She walked back over to him, handing him the arrow, but keeping the tiny corpse in her hands. The fact that she had adjusted to doing something like that in only a short amount of time, gave him hope that he could help her. He thought about how she had knelt by him and asked him to show her how to skin the kills. She stomached it because she wanted to be useful, but it showed that she was able to do anything when she put her mind to it. She just needed someone to show her how.

After they snagged two more rabbits he looked around and noticed that they were loosing the light quickly. They had to start heading back, but he decided to start with something small. He just needed to get everything clearer in his head, before he tried anything drastic.

"Soph we gotta talk" he mumbled. His leveled tone made her stop instantly and look up at him casually. Other then her pointing out the rabbit, he hadn't heard a peep out of her and he hadn't spoken either.

"Bout what?" She asked while rolling the rabbits around in her arms to get a better hold on them.  
He crouched down leaning back on his heels in front of her. "About what happened yesterday."

She shook her head and gave him a worried look. The expression that covered her face instantly reminded him of Carol, though he quickly pushed the memory aside.  
"I said I was sorry" she stuttered quickly.  
He shook his head as she spoke and made sure that he kept his calmness etched on his face "I don't want an apology kid. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what?" she questioned, watching him cautiously and taking a small step back from him. He hated that she felt the need to do that.

He let out a heavy sigh as Carol's words came into his head - _Baby steps._

"I ain't mad ok. But we gotta start working something out. You need to be able to protect ya self…even if it just means running away from those things when they get to close to ya"

She nodded but he could see fear in her eyes. He knew there was more to this and he knew he needed to wrap this conversation up before she got to worked up. He didn't want her doubting herself and he didn't want her thinking he doubted her either.

She could do this, he knew she could.

He dropped his head down further, to line his eyes up with hers "Can I ask ya somethin?"

She shrugged and looked down at the dead fluff balls in her arms. He didn't know if this was going to help, but it might help him understand what was going through her head, and honestly he was also pretty damn curious.

"What are ya saying to ya self, when ya close ya eyes and block ya ears?. I see ya mouth movin'…what do ya say to ya self?" he asked in the same hushed tone.

She looked into his eyes for a long moment, obviously questioning weather or not to answer the question.

Finally, she nodded to herself and released a heavy breath through her nose, before answering him. "I'm counting"

He considered the answer, but it didn't make sense to him. Counting to what? And what the hell for? "Why?"

The sudden sadness that fell over her face had him wishing he hadn't asked, but at the same time it made him even more curious about the answer.

She dropped her head again, looking passed the rabbits and down to her feet. "It's what she told me to do" she whispered.

That was when his stomach sank and everything clicked over in his head. It seemed so obvious now that he had the answer, so obvious that he didn't understand how he hadn't figured it out earlier.

"Ya ma?" he said absently, watching the slight nod she gave.

"She told you to cover your ears and close ya eyes. Wait until she came and told you it was safe?"

He wasn't even talking to her anymore, just thinking out loud and running the realization through the air.

He could have laughed if it wasn't so goddamn horrible. She had been taught the tactic for her own safety and now he had to help her unlearn it for the same reason.

He gave her a smile and patted her shoulder lightly, easing some of then tension she was obviously feeling. "Don't fret ok. Let's go back, ya done good out here."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: **Big thanks to everyone who has fav'd, followed and reviewed this fic. This story can get a little daunting for me at times, because I know how damn long it is. So when I get nice reviews or see that someone has taken an interest in it, it gives me the nudge I need to keep going.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

Sometimes the silence was deafening. As a rule he preferred silence and he knew Sophia did to. But this wasn't the same. This was tense, and uncomfortable, and awkward.

He wondered how he could be out in the middle of nowhere and still feel like walls were closing in around him. There was no escape from them and no way to be around anyone but them. He couldn't lie and say that there weren't times when he fantasized about running away in the middle of the night, about getting the hell away from them both before they drove him completely crazy.

There were days when he was happy to see the random walkers they encountered, because at least that was a fresh face. At least the walkers weren't passive aggressive or spiteful. All the walkers wanted to do was eat him alive, but at least after they did that he'd be dead. Daphne and Sophia were not going to be so merciful. There was no end in sight between them and that felt like the exact spot he was stuck in. It was a constant - "I need to pee, does Sophia want to come with me?" "Dinner is finished, is Daphne hungry?". He was no closer to either of them then they were each other, but for some reason he was being used to relay questions between them.

But no matter how much it annoyed him, he had no intention of trying to relieve the tension between them.  
Daphne did her part in keeping watch and helping out with everything. Sophia was carrying her weight as best she could. He couldn't hope for much more.

He had circled the small house a dozen times, but didn't see or hear anything until he noticed Daphne sitting outside, on the steps.

There was only an hour or so left of darkness and she had been getting up earlier and earlier each day as they adjusted to the new routine.

"Found these" she said extending her hand towards him. He walked over to her, seeing the two unopened packs of smokes in her hand. He took them from her and stuffed them into one of his pockets, then began searching the others for his lighter, while looking around them to assure the area was still clear.

"I'm not good with kids. I never have been" she admitted quietly, leaning her elbows into her knees.

He paused in his search and looked down at her. She was hunched over, wringing her hands together roughly and watching the action with a hard stare.

He didn't truly believe that Daphne was evil. She wasn't some kind of villain that was out to ruin his life. She was just exactly what she had said, not good with kids. She could be an insensitive bitch till the cows came home, she could be inpatient and cold - most adults would simply take or leave her, engage with her or ignore her. But Soph wasn't an adult.

"You're gonna have to deal with that shit, cause she ain't going anywhere" he muttered, looking back over his shoulder again to check the area.

Daphne nodded, keeping her eyes on the ground."Fair enough"

"I ain't asking you to be her mother, she's got one of those. A good one. But could you just try being patient with her. She's just a kid, this is hard enough on her without you bein' a bitch"

He instantly regretted calling her a bitch. She was one. But he wished he had chosen his words a little better. Even so, he didn't correct himself and he didn't apologize. The fact that she didn't flinch or even change her expression at hearing the word was enough to let him know that it was not the first time that someone had applied it to her.

She nodded and rubbed her hands together in front of her and he could see that this was hard for her. Not just being around Sophia, but having this conversation and admitting she was bad at something. There was defeat in her voice and he knew it was because she was aware that she needed him as much as he needed her. That was hard for both of them to admit.

"Is that who your looking for? Her mother?"

He nodded not wanting to say anything more about the one thing he was trying not to think about.

He had been doing his best not to let Carol enter his thoughts. He did that by focusing on what they were doing and what they needed to do. He kept busy from the moment his eye opened until they closed at night. Even when he was falling asleep he focused on listening to his surroundings, listening to her daughter sleeping soundly and safely and planning out the next day in his head.

"What about you?" he questioned, wanting to change the subject before she pushed for more information on Carol.

"My fiance Lou and our friend Patrick. Our group, we got split up, we all said if that ever happened we'd head to Charlotte, where we started." she said before shaking her head and dropping her eyes back to the ground again. "Stupid of us to leave in the first place."

"Why did ya?"

Daphne shrugged before smiling at him, but he could see that it wasn't genuine. "Looking for a community, something safer. When we got on the road and started moving around, we realized that there was nothing to find."

He wished he'd made some kind of a plan with Carol and the others. Somewhere they could meet up if things went south. But right now he had no destination. His plan was to simply make their way back to the campsite and move on from there. He knew they wouldn't be there, he knew it had been to long to find any trail they had left behind, but it was all he had to go on. That would have to be enough.

He sat beside her and finally lit a smoke, thanking her for the packets and asking her if she had found anything else in the house.

She told him about the canned food she had found, a map and a torch. She was ready to continue listing things off to him when they heard the door open behind them.

He looked over his shoulder to find Sophia looking at them both, before fixing her eyes on him.

He was stunned taking in her glowering expression, wondering what it was he'd done to deserve it. Though it was nothing new. He spent a great deal of his time wondering what he had done to piss the kid off.

She huffed out a heavy breath and stepped back inside. She didn't give him a second to question her before she slammed the door behind her, making him flinch as the sound clapped in his ears.

His eyes remained focused on the door for a few seconds wondering what had just happened. As angry as he had seen Sophia, she never let it hit the boiling point he had just seen. Slamming a door may have seemed like something small and insignificant, as far as outbursts go. But for someone like Sophia it was huge.

"Can you wait out here a second" he asked, not bothering to look back over at Daphne as quickly got to his feet and went after the enraged kid.

He stepped inside quietly and closed the door behind him. He hadn't even laid yes on her but he knew he was in for it. He knew because he could clearly hear her grumbling out parts of sentences, sentences that he was sure she was yelling in her head.

He found her sitting on the floor as the break of daylight started to fill the room, not stopping to so much as look up when he came in.

She was pulling her blue socks on and ignoring his presence, but she still looked like she wanted to smack him upside the head. As he watched her for a second, he noticed that her socks had a pattern of suns and clouds over them. Watching this tiny little ball of rage pulling on those socks was almost enough to make him laugh.

"What's wrong?" he asked kneeling down in front of her. Once he got closer he could see that she wasn't just angry, she was visibly upset. He could see her lower lip trembling and her eyes turning red. It sent a quick panic through him.

"Where are we going?" she snapped, roughly grabbing her shoes so she could starts pulling them on.

He wondered for a second if Sophia had finally realized just how impossible the trip ahead of them was. Maybe it just occurred to her that the chances of their group simply being where they left them was slim to none.

"To the campsite. From there I don't really know" he admitted, watching her expression grow darker.

"You going to Charlotte? With her!" she grumbled, making his whole face contort into a confused expression.

"What? Why the hell would I-" he stopped himself realizing what was going through the kids head. Her reactions to him talking to Daphne, helping her, to saving the women from loosing her foot to a rusty bear trap, it all finally made sense.

He spat out a humorless laugh and tilted his head to the side trying to get a better look at her.

"You're serious" he questioned, making her look up to meet his eyes, showing that she was very serious and really pissed off.

"Her?" he spat out, way to loudly, unable to cover his revulsion at the idea.

She raised her brow to him and crossed her arms, silently calling him out.

"You really think I'd do that. Just forget about Carol and run off with her…_Her_!"

She shrugged coldly and kept her eyes fixed on him, as though she was looking for signs he was lying.

He shook his head at her and tightened his jaw. He didn't appreciate the accusation, but he had every intention of keeping his shit together while he sat her straight.

"I'm with your Ma. No one else. Never gonna be with anyone else. When we get to the campsite, I'm gonna look for some kind of clues…something. And were gonna start searching for her"

"What if we don't find her? Are you gonna run off with that-"

"Were gonna find her." He snapped far to harshly, not giving her a chance to finish. "Ain't gonna be easy and it might take us awhile, but were gonna find her. I won't stop until we do."

Sophia still didn't look convinced and he was having trouble keeping his temper from rising at the sight of her expression.

He could take a lot from Sophia. He could keep a leveled head and remember she was just a confused kid. But right now, with the shit she was implying, he was struggling.

Sophia's eyes zeroed in on his and hardened. He had never seen her like this. He had caught glimpses of it and she had said things to him, things that let him know there was a lot more to Sophia then he thought there was.

"So when we get to Georgia and_ she_ keeps going, you're just gonna let her go off alone? We're just gonna walk away?"

He leaned in closer to her, keeping his eyes locked on her's while he spoke. "I won't even look back"


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** I received a review asking about the timeline, I know this can be a bit hard to follow because of the breaks between updates, so I thought i'd let everyone know. As of this chapter Daryl and Sophia have been separated from Carol for almost three weeks.

* * *

**Chapter 28**

She had ran, as fast as she could. Faster then she knew she could. And when she had fallen down and she had gotten herself back up. She had gotten herself into Daryl's truck and she drove herself away from the flames that were spreading through the farm.

Dale had died only days before and now she had lost Andrea too. She had seen Andrea go down and never get back up. And there was no way she could get past the swarm of walkers to. Whether it would have been to kill her after she turned or put her out of her misery after being attacked, she couldn't do either for Andrea. She just couldn't get to her and she needed to run before she was taken down to.

She knew that out of all the people fleeing the farm, none of them were looking for her. No one was calling her name and no one was making sure she made it out alive. It was the first time that she truly realized that she was alone. Daryl and Sophia were gone and she doubted that they were coming back. But that was as far as her mind allowed her to think about it.

As she dodged and weaved the truck around the army of animated corpses, she couldn't help but cry.

Andrea had been a comfort to her. She had walked through the woods with her, searching for any signs of Daryl and Sophia. She had helped her look for them even when it was clear that most people were giving up on the search. She felt in many ways that her friendship with Andrea was all she had left to hold onto and now that was gone too.

She drove to the old campsite as the sun started to rise. As she arrived she noticed the few scattered cars of the people who had survived the fall of Herschel's farm. Once she parked, she stayed sitting in the truck and no one bothered to come over. No one's face fell with relief at the sight of her.

There was near nothing left of the old campsite. Andrea's old car, that would be rotting here for the rest of it's days, was one of the only reals signs that people had once inhabited the area. She and Andrea had painted a message onto the window for Daryl and Sophia, telling them that they would return every day. Telling them to wait here.  
But they had never been here when she and Andrea returned each day, and they weren't here now.

She had weeks ago gathered up Daryl and Sophia's things from the old campsite and they were stuffed into the cab of the truck along with most of her belongings. She had been living out of the truck in many ways. She'd slept with Andrea in the RV, but she could never bring herself to make it home. The truck was Daryl's and she felt as though she could hang on to him in some way if she kept it for herself.

No one knew it, but some nights she would sneak into the truck and go through their things. She would smell them, knowing that soon those scents would disappear from the fabric and those smells, like everything else, would be nothing but a memory.

She looked up when she caught glimpse of Ed walking towards the truck but he was quickly being followed by T-dog. Ed's steps faltered when T-dog stepped around him and she was relieved. She simply didn't have any energy left to deal him.

T-dog pulled the door open, offering her nothing as a greeting, other then simply meeting her eyes before he spoke.

"You mind if I ride with you?"

She shook her head and moved a few things out of his way so that he had as much room as she could offer him.

They didn't talk after he climbed into the truck and placed the shotgun between his knees. They just waited for Rick to drive. Then they would follow him, on what was starting to feel like a death march, where they would be picked off one by one, until any trace of their existence was gone.

* * *

"We're close. Real damn close" he pressed firmly.

Sophia chewed on her lower lip and looked at the surrounding area before landing her eyes back on his.

He'd taken her outside to make sure they were alone when they spoke. He was on his knees in the dirt, virtually pleading with the girl, because he knew he couldn't go through with a single thing if she didn't agree with it.

She let out a heavy breath as a crease formed in her brow. "How close?"

"Few hundred miles. Bit less. Ain't nothin compared to what we already done."

Sophia leaned in slightly and lowered her voice, wanting to keep Daphne from waking up and hearing them. "You said it ain't safe. We need to stay hidden. That's what you said."

Sophia hadn't been able to hide her fear and he known it would be damn near impossible for her. That was why he had woken her before Daphne, so that the kid wouldn't have to do this with an audience.

He didn't care if Sophia showed fear, he stood by the point that he would have thought the kid was crazy if she wasn't scared. But to much had happened between Daphne and Sophia, and now Sophia was uncomfortable revealing any emotions in front of her.

He nodded and kept himself from getting frustrated with her. He made sure she could see understanding in his expression, instead of the urgency he felt. "If you wanna stay in the woods, we will. It will take us another week of walkin to get there though."

Sophia seem to relax at the knowledge that he wasn't going to force her into anything. In truth he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. So far they had been safe. They had been lucky. But they were so close now and he was simply itching to get there.  
"And if we had a car?" She asked lowering her voice to nothing more then a faint whisper.

"Few hours. And then we'd be home. Then we could start"

* * *

Daphne had heard the conversation he and Sophia had about her yesterday. She had herd him talk about ditching her in Georgia and how he would do it with ease. And she had heard the disgust in his tone when Sophia accused him of preparing to have some kind of affair with the women. And since then, Daphne had been an extra special kind of pissed off.

He had been to loud and maybe sounded a little more repulsed then he should have, especially since the women was only on the other side of the door.

Either way there was a snarl on her face when she looked at Sophia, and there was a smugness on Sophia's when she looked at Daphne. Both of which he could comprehend.

But when Daphne looked at him there was something there he couldn't decipher, an expression he couldn't read.

He hadn't brought it up again with Sophia, but he was still annoyed that she'd thought he was capable of doing something like that. He knew he couldn't ever do that to Carol and he sure as shit wouldn't be doing anything like that with the likes of Daphne.

There was nothing about the women that he wanted to get close to. They were civil with each other, but that was it. He couldn't exactly keep clear of the women. There was no where to go.

One thing he did know, was that if they weren't in this situation then he wouldn't be caught anywhere near the Daphne.

He had been accused of being hard headed in the past, he had been accused of being an asshole and he could agree with those descriptions.

But he also knew that he could listen when he needed to, he could try to see things from where someone else was standing. And he could muster up a bit of compassion if some poor bastard was going through a hard time.

Daphne couldn't do any of that shit.

Soph's was only a kid, a scared girl who had been separated from her mother and thrown into a pretty shitty situation. He didn't know how many times he needed to explain that to the women. She just didn't get it and she didn't seem to have a single maternal bone in her body. Quietly he had hopped she was baron, cause lord help any children she had.

"Your sure about this?" Daphne asked raising her brow.

"I'm sure. You just wait here and I'll be back as quick as I can. If you feel like you gotta get outta here, head north along the roads. I'll find you there" he promised as he loaded his gun and snapped it closed.

"And Sophia is she going to let you just leave without-"

"Soph knows what I'm doin'." he said quickly, stopping Daphne before she could continue. "She'll mind what ya tell her. She won't be any trouble for ya, just don't be any trouble for her" he added slipping the gun into the waist of his pants and picking up his crossbow.

The house they were staying at was hidden away, but close enough to town that he was sure he could find some wheels quickly. But no matter how easy he thought the search would be, he didn't want to risk taking Sophia with him.

He didn't say another word to Daphne. There was nothing left to say. He was going and she was staying. He was gonna find a car and she was going watch the kid.

This was stupid and it was reckless, but he just didn't care right now.

He didn't know what they would find when he got back to the campsite, but there was a shred of hope in him, that maybe Carol would be there. That he would finally be back with her again and he would be able to fucking breathe again. He hoped this hysteria that he kept contained inside of him would have a chance to die off and leave his body, before it burnt him alive.

He went into dining room where Sophia was sitting alone reading a book that she had found. As he made his way in she looked up and forced a smile at him and gave her one right back. She was going to brave this out and he was proud of her for not panicking. There was a chance that he wouldn't come back and Sophia knew it. And for Sophia, a fate worse then hell was being stuck with Daphne forever.

He sat on the edge of the seat next to her and leaned his elbow onto the table, Sophia quickly mirrored him.

"Is it time?"

He nodded in response, trying to ignore the way her fingers were tearing away at the knee of her pants, pants he was going to have to find a way to replace soon because right now, both her knees were completely exposed.

"You remember what I told you?"

Sophia looked around to make sure they were alone, before she looked back at him and nodded.

"Run, leave tracks and wait." She recited his instructions with a firm tone, holding his eyes as she spoke.

He had made it as simple as possible for her. If something happened while he was gone. He wanted her to run and hide. He didn't want her to think twice about leaving Daphne, because he knew that if they got themselves caught in a tight spot while he was gone, Daphne would leave that kid without hesitation.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The day had started just as he had expected. With walking. Then more walking. And then more walking. But once he had made his way to the roads, that led directly into town, he found the pile up of cars he had been expecting to see.

It was what remained of the confusion and hysteria, that people had gotten themselves caught in. The sight was something he had been faced with dozens of times. Abandoned cars that all got caught up when trying to flee the overpopulated areas. This was where he had been spending his day. Going through car after car, inspecting their ability to move and taking what supplies he could carry.

There were rooting corpses everywhere. They had been there so long that there wasn't much left of them anymore. For the most part he had been ignoring them. He only took a closer look when he saw one from the corner of his eye, causing him to quickly turn in it's direction, fearing a Walker had gotten the jump on him. But as he moved between the cars he could see one lying one the ground and for the first time that day, he took a second glance in its direction, without thinking that it was getting ready to attack him.

The body lay face first on the hot road, smelling like a pile of shit and the closer he got the worse the smell got. The smell of the dead was something he had grown used to, but this one had spent a little to much time under the hot Georgia sun.

He'd held his breath while he heaved the machete from the rotting corpse, then turned the handle in his hand while he examined it.

It was still in good condition and he thought it was worth hanging onto. Whoever had left it there, whoever had jammed in the Walkers skull, hadn't abandoned the weapon because there was something wrong with it.

He thought it might be perfect for Sophia. It was a good length for someone as short as her and the blade was strong.

He'd quickly stuffed it in his bag,… as much as he could anyway, then went back to going through the abandoned cars that were lined up down the road.

Ever since he left Sophia alone with Daphne he'd had a hundred thoughts of all the things that could go wrong. His concern and paranoia helped him to move faster, it helped him get everything done quicker, but it left his nerves shot. It got him to caught up in his head and that was not the right frame of mind when he had to fight of walkers. But no matter how worried he was about the kid, the amount of walkers he had encountered had made him happy that he'd taken the journey alone.

He'd known this wasn't going to be a quick problem with cars was when they'd been left sitting for to long, their batteries went flat. Sometimes the dust and dirt got built up under the hood and it got so thick that it ruined what was needed to make them run. So though there were hundreds of cars around him, finding one that worked had taken him all day.

But when one finally did roar to life, he swore he felt every muscle in his body, instantly loosen with relief.

For the hours of walking it had taken to get there, it took only 15 minutes of driving to get back, but in those minutes, wondering if they were ok, his mind had going overboard, creating a scene of epic proportions. He'd envisioned flames and hundreds of walkers. Blood and chaos.

But when he pulled up to the house, the first thing he noticed was Sophia peeking out from the window.

Before the car had even stopped, he watched her bounce from her spot and seconds later appear on the porch. She took a quick look and he did the same. Once he gave her a nod to continue, her smile grew and she came running down the stairs.

It wasn't until she was jumping into the front seat and buckling herself in, that he noticed Daphne finally make her way out the front door, hopping along to pull her boot on.

"Everything go alright" he asked Sophia, while he eyed the scowl on Daphne's face.

"Everything went fine." she answered confidently, before shrugging slightly. "For me, anyway."

He looked back over to Sophia and noticed a kind of smug smile on her face. Obviously she was trying to hide it by keeping her head turned and looking out the window. But she failed miserably.

He couldn't help but groan and drop back into his seat."Told you to be good. Ya ain't done that?" he questioned quickly as Daphne started making her way towards the car.

"I was good. I did as I was told." Sophia said simply.

It was clear that something had happened between Daphne and Sophia. That was even more clear to him when Daphne dropped roughly into the backseat and slammed the door without a single word.

He didn't ask anymore questions he just settled into the probability that the next few hours would be full of an uncomfortable silence. As usual.

* * *

They drove in silence for almost two hours when he noticed that the car was quickly running low on fuel.

Very soon he was going to have to stop. He was going to have to siphon more.

It was getting late and they were hungry, so he would need to hunt before it got dark. And he would have to do it all with both Daphne and Sophia acting as though they were seconds from lighting each other on fire. But he didn't care. He couldn't concern himself with any of that shit once he passed the _Welcome to Georgia _Sign.

The kid didn't said anything, but he had noticed her sigh with relief and smile to herself when she'd seen it.

For the first time in weeks he could actually see a light at the end of the tunnel. He simply needed to keep going and he could put everything back in it's rightful place. He would find her and everything would be ok.

"We here now. You got a plan" he asked looking into the rear view mirror at Daphne. Her face had finally relaxed and he was glad that he didn't have to look back and see the screwed up expression she had been wearing earlier.

"We stopping for the night?" she questioned, obviously planning something out in her head.

He hummed an affirmative at he and his eyes jumped from her reflection in the mirror, back to the road.

"I need my own car." Daphne mumbled and he could tell she was talking more to herself then anyone else.

He nodded in agreement as his mind quickly devised a plan of action.

"We'll find somewhere. Settle in for the night. Tomorrow, I'll go get some fuel and get you your own car." Daphne nodded and smiled at him and he decided to focus on that for a second before he looked back to the road, rather then looking at Sophia who he knew was glaring at him right now.

* * *

He could hear her feather light footsteps behind him as she followed him into the woods.

"We're close. We could be there soon, let's just leave" Sophia faintly whispered. He never had to explain much to Sophia, as far as hunting went. She seemed to figure most of it out on her own or simply by watching him. She was quiet and she trod lightly, she paid attention to her surroundings and she made sure to stay close to him.

"Gonna be dark real soon. Anything could happen." He reasoned with her as he continued scanning the area.

"Gotta be safe" he added, nodding to himself as he chanted the words like a mantra, then repeated then again and again in his own head.

"We gotta get back to mom. But your gonna waste time helping her"

He stopped then and turned to face her. He hadn't meant to scare her, but when he noticed her eyes grow wide and her whole body stiffen, it was clear he had.  
He kept still and gave her a second for the knee jerk reaction to ware of. He watched as her shoulders loosened and she looked up and met his eyes.

"Sophia, they aren't just sitting around waiting for us at the campsite. I reckon they close by, but I don't think they're gonna there. So ain't no point in us getting there tonight. Right now-"

Before he could finish talking, he noticed Sophia's eyes suddenly focus on something behind him and her hand beginning to rise, ready to point something out.

He spun around raising his crossbow and releasing the bolt when he found what caught her eye.

Before he even began lowering his crossbow, Sophia wordlessly ran ahead of him to get the squirrel and retrieve the bolt for him.

"Right now, though." he continued as she started walking back over to him. "We got us a house to stay in, somewhere safe. So, were gonna wait and go tomorrow. Then were gonna find em and everything is gonna be like it was. But first were gonna get some sleep and help Daphne out, ain't no big deal. I gotta go get fuel anyway, might as well look for a car while I'm out there." He shrugged and started walking again, listening to her trailing behind him with, carrying her collection of squirrels."Ain't like I'm gonna risk my neck to find her a car, just gonna have a look…see what I can see"

It was the least he could do. Even if he didn't like her. Even if in many ways she had caused him a shit load of problems with Sophia. She had helped them. She had gone on watch at night and she had kept an eye on Sophia when he'd needed. He could at least get her a car so she could make it to her people a little quicker.

"Fine. You're right, I guess- …Walker!" Sophia hissed as she quickened her steps to get close to him, even though the Walker was pretty far off.

He looked down at Sophia and how she was pressing herself into his side. The idea that came to him, was most likely the wrong decision, but he had to start somewhere and this was all he could think of.

He loaded the bolt into the crossbow and looked down at her. "Drop that shit here" he said nodding to the pile of carcasses in her arms, as he tossed his pack to the ground.

Sophia was in far to much of a fright to question him, she dropped their dinner on the ground and then started looking around her, as if a herd was going to appear out of nowhere. He couldn't blame her. It had happened before and there was a good chance it would happen again. But it wasn't happening right here and now. It was just one Walker, one skinny, rotting corpse hobbling towards them.

"We need to go" Sophia whispered firmly, but he shook his head in reply as he knelled down in front of her. "I'm gonna kill it and ya gonna come with me" he said calmly, hoping to keep her calm. It didn't work.

"No. I can- I'll wait here"

He shook his head at her as she stuttered out her words. He didn't want her to be scared and he certainly didn't want to be the one scarring her. But right now she was freaking out over one of them crossing her path and he needed to start working on this fear that she had of them. Even if they found their group tomorrow morning, he was going to keep working on this with her. She wouldn't make it if he didn't.

"Nah Soph, ya gonna come with me"

Sophia shook her head frantically and he nodded back at her, trying to keep his expression soft so that she could see that there really wasn't any danger. It didn't work.

Her face was turning red and her breaths were getting shallow, but it only made him want to push her into this.

"I wont let it get near ya. I swear. I just want you to come with me and have a look at it."

She didn't say yes or no. He didn't give her a chance to. He took her hand and started leading her towards the walker, that was quite honestly, a pitiful looking thing.

He could feel her grip on his hand tightening and she was pressed so close to him, that he was sure he was going to trip over her feet any second. But still, she kept walking.

He thought she was being brave. That she was forcing herself to be brave and he was proud of that. That feeling didn't diminish when she suddenly yanked on his hand and pulled him back.  
"No further. I want to stop" Sophia cried out.

The walker groaned and picked up its pace, but was still a safe distance away from them. But now she could see it clearly. Rotting flesh, snapping teeth and glazed eyes, all coming at her.

He looked down at her as she pressed her face into his side, hiding away from it.

"He ain't gonna get ya. I'm not gonna let him. But I want ya to look at it Soph."

Sophia peered out slightly at the monster coming for her. She put herself further behind him, but she kept her eyes on the Walker.

"These things Soph. Their dumb as a bag of rocks. They cant plan how to do anything, because they can't think anymore."

Slowly he could feel her loosening her grip on him and he crouched down, leaning back on his heels to line his eyes with hers.

He let out a hard breath through his nose and kept his sights locked on hers."They're scary. Hell, they scare the shit outta me"

Sophia's brow creased and she tilted her head to the side."They do?"

He let out a humorless chuckle and nodded firmly."Course they do. Fuckin Zombies walkin' around. This shit belongs in movies. I sure as shit shouldn't be standing you in front of one, asking you to look at it. But I am, cause this ain't a movie and I need you to get used to them…I don't want you to get hurt."

He didn't want her to die, that was what he was thinking. But he was sure that talking about her possible death was not going to help her right now.

Sophia turned then and looked at the Walker head on while it approached, trailing her eyes back and forth over it as if she was committing the sight to memory.

Her breaths were still shallow, she was clearly shaking but she held her ground and kept her eyes on the walker, until he lifted his crossbow pulled the trigger.

"So-" he started as he got up and went to retrieve his bolt. "You gonna tell me what happened with Daphne while I was gone." he asked with a smile, deciding it might be a good idea to change the subject. And honestly, he was curious.

Sophia grinned then and quickly turned to cover it. "Nothing happened. She asked me some questions and I gave her some answers."

"Questions about what?"

"About Mom."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Lori never actually told whole the group that she was pregnant. She had told Rick and from there the information quickly made its way around.

When everyone found out about the pregnancy, they were still at the farm and they believed they would be there for some time. They had assumed they were safe, that they had somewhere they could live and thrive. But even when they had assumed they were safe, it was clear that Lori didn't want to talk about it.

People had opinions about it. People had hopes and dreams that surrounded the baby. People had fears and concerns about it too. It simply depended on who you were talking to. But Lori herself, hadn't talked about it and Carol didn't bring it up either. Not to Lori or anyone else.

Lori didn't seem happy about the expected arrival, that much was written all over her face. Seeing that fear made it hard for anyone to offer their congratulations. Because it didn't seem like something Lori wanted to be congratulated for. If anything, it seemed like Lori would have preferred someone scolded her for being reckless and stupid. Because clearly, that's what Lori was thinking and feeling.

Before the campsite had gotten overrun. Before that horrible day when she had lost Daryl and Sophia, Lori had started wearing baggy clothes and no one had questioned it. Why would they? They weren't exactly living in a world of high fashion anymore. If Lori wanted to wear a loose fitting shirt there wasn't anyone around who cared to question her choices.

But now everyone seen the outfits as an attempt to hide something that Lori was obviously struggling with.

At the campsite, she had been waiting Lori out. She was waiting for Lori to tell her she was pregnant, but that conversation never came. And she had been upset with Lori to some extent. She didn't understand why Lori felt the need to hide it form her.

But she knew now why Lori had kept it so quiet.  
She knew now why Lori still didn't want to talk about it.  
She knew why Lori was not only horrified of being pregnant, but why she was horrified at the thought of bringing a baby into this world.

She knew all these things because they were swimming through her own head, while she emptied the contents of her stomach onto the road. Hiding behind the truck where no one could see her.

She hid, just like Lori had, because she didn't want to tell them. She didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted to finish up her morning sickness, that was conveniently hitting her in the evening, and she wanted to do it in peace.

Because like Lori, she could see this "miracle" for the disaster that it truly was.

How could she be jumping for joy when they were on the run from the various herds. Herds that always seemed to be right behind them.

How could she imagine a bright and happy future for this baby when she had nothing to offer it. She couldn't protect it and she couldn't provide for it. She had lost it's father and it's sister. And eventually she would loose this baby too. She didn't know when or how, she just knew it was impossible to hang onto anything.

* * *

The house they were staying in was nice and well kept. By no means was it a flashy mansion, but it was the kind of house he would have wanted to own. But never would have had a chance in hell of getting.

From what he could tell, it hadn't been empty for very long. There wasn't much dust and it looked like it had been recently cleaned.

He followed Sophia through the house as she explored the rooms. He didn't get to involved in the scavenging as they made their way through the place. Sophia was fine to get the job done on her own and she looked everywhere that he himself would have thought to check. So he thought it was best to leave the job to her. That way she got the credit for anything she discovered and hopefully she would stop believing that she was useless.

It was almost to dark to see where they were going as they headed up stairs, but Sophia didn't want to stop he didn't ask her to. He knew that very soon, Sophia would pick a spot out and curl up like a cat somewhere. Right now though, she wanted to look around and he also guessed she wanted to put some space between them and Daphne.

She didn't talk to Daphne all through dinner, but he had seen them exchange some looks. Not that he was surprised. After what Sophia had told him about their earlier conversation, he expected nothing more from Daphne.

He hadn't said anything to Sophia when she recalled the conversation. He'd listened to what she had to say, and he had grunted in response, but only so she knew that he'd heard her. But that had been his only comment on the subject.

For some reason Daphne had asked about Carol. She'd wanted to know what Carol looked like and what kind of person she was. Sophia had taken the opportunity to tell Daphne that her mother was beautiful, much more beautiful then Daphne. And Sophia explained that Carol held every quality, that Daphne didn't have. She had explained in detail that her mother was kind and smart and funny.

And he had to agree with Sophia. Carol was the complete opposite of Daphne. But he didn't want to talk about Carol. He didn't want to think about her. If he could have it his way, he would like to wipe the women from his mind completely until he was with her again.

Missing her-….pining over her, was not going to help them. It was only going to make every minute harder. That was the reason he never brought her up, the reason he never let her linger in his mind for to long. He simply couldn't deal with it. He knew it would break him down into a state that he didn't have time to be in.

"It's a girls room" Sophia pointed out as they walked into the overly pink bedroom. He leaned into the door frame and watched Sophia as she started poking at things.  
He didn't guess there was anything of use in the room, but Sophia had a look on her face, a dazed and kinda sleepy expression that left him starring at her while she walked around the bedroom.

"It's a nice house" Sophia whispered.

He hummed in response and found himself watching her even closer then he had been. There was something about her tone, that had him wondering if she was going to start crying.

"I always wanted a room like this." Sophia added quietly as she picked up a fairy ornament to turn over in her hand, before she carefully put it back in it's place.

"Maybe one day you will. Don't know what's gonna happen. Things could change…or change back". He didn't believe a single word of what he had said, but he wanted to get the hopeless expression of her face.

"Even if everything goes back to how it's supposed to be. I won't get anything like this?" Sophia mumbled shaking her head, while she fidgeted with the small rag doll she had picked up.

The statement struck him and he was curious to know what would be standing in her way. It certainly wouldn't be him and he doubted it would be Carol. He didn't understand why, in this daydream scenario, she couldn't have the girly room she had apparently always wanted.

"Why?" he asked.

Sophia's brow creased as he questioned her. She continued to inspect the doll, that she had obviously taken a liking to. But she didn't offer him an answer.

It was clear that something about his simple question had upset her.

Reluctantly she put the doll back in it's place and turned quickly, walking by without looking at him.

"We should sleep" he heard her say as she made her way down the hall to one of the bigger rooms they had already checked out.

He frowned as he took one last look at the pink room.

If by some miracle, the world went back to how it was supposed to be, to how it used to be, then he would make sure she got something like this. It didn't look like it would be all that hard to throw it together.

He didn't understand why Sophia thought something so simple would be unattainable.

He heard her call his name and he knew she was waiting on him. Before following her, he snatched up the doll that she had seemed so interested in.

Realistically, he knew there was very little chance of her having a room like this.

The world wasn't going back tot he way it was. But at the very least, he thought she could have the doll. So he stuffed it in his bag and followed her down the hall.

* * *

After walking around the house a few dozen times he gave into the calmness of the property and sat himself down on the porch, leaning his back into the wall as he looked out into the darkness.

He was happy to sit there listening out for stray walkers. He was comfortable and he was rested.

There weren't to many times through the day when he could turn his back on Sophia and know she was safe. When he was on watch, he knew she was near by and didn't need to be watched like a hawk. And he could relax knowing that. He could enjoy his time alone.

_Usually_, he could enjoy his time alone.

He didn't say anything when Daphne came outside holding the small lantern. Usually he would have assumed she was going to take a piss or something else that was equally none of his business. But he knew when sat down next to him, wearing the odd expression, that she had non intention of leaving him be. It was clear, by how her eyes were set on him, that she had made the journey outside, with the intention of annoying him.

He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead. He had hoped that if he ignored her, then she would get the hint and realize that he wanted to be alone.

But he had no such luck.

When Daphne's hand fell onto his knee, it took him a few seconds to realize what was going on. At first he wondered if she was squashing a bug, or maybe giving him a swat to grab his attention, so that she could alert him to something she had seen. But all his hopes for the touch had been killed when her hand started steadily moving up his thigh.

He wished he could have closed his eyes and pretended it was Carol. He could pull Daphne close and imagine that he was sitting in the back of his truck with the women he loved, just like he used to be, like he had been before he lost her.  
But Daphne's hand somehow felt heavier then Carol's. And Daphne smelt sweet, sickeningly sweet. Carol, she smelt like lavender. That was the only thing he could guess it to be. It wasn't overpowering and it didn't make his stomach turn. In fact, Carol's scent had always had him looking for excuses to smell her, something about it had always just fit.

There was no hope in pretending everything was fine.

Everything about this moment felt horribly wrong.

He grabbed a hold of her wrist and pulled her hand from his leg, gently tossing it back towards her, before he inched himself further away from her. "Go to bed Daphne" he said firmly, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

"You wanna join me?" She asked, producing a tone he hadn't heard her use before. He guessed it was supposed to be flirtatious and alluring. But all it managed to do was make him uncomfortable.

He kept his eyes on the space around him. "Thinkin' you got the wrong idea bout me."

"I was thinking I need some stress relief. And that maybe you and I could help each other out by-"

He let out a laugh without meaning to, it erupted from him out of surprise and discomfort, cutting Daphne off before she could finish making her offer.

"Daphne I barely like ya. Most of the time, I can't even stand ya" he pointed out, with the remains of his laughter still lingering in his words.

Daphne still looked confident, she still appeared determined. It had him wondering what the real motivation behind the offer was.

She shrugged and produced a soft smile that had him looking away from her again. "Ditto. But that's not what were talking about here. It doesn't have to mean anything"

He took a minute to consider her words, but not the offer. Though he knew Daphne wouldn't have known the difference.

"Only been away from Carol a few weeks. Got her daughter sleepin' inside, n'you want me to fuck ya right here? Someone I don't even like?" He couldn't help but chuckle and shake his head."Pretty sure it would mean somethin'. It would mean I'm desperate to be a damn asshole"

Daphne's eyes went wide for a second, before they suddenly grew hard. Her mouth was stretched out into a thin line.

"You sure you know how to make a girl feel like a prize." Daphne added sarcastically, with an obvious bite in her tone that she couldn't disguise.

He nodded, before leaning his head back onto the wall and pulling a smoke from his pack, satisfied that she appeared to be getting the message. "Good. That's what I was aimin' for" he mumbled as the thick and uncomfortable tension filled the air around them.

He lit his smoke and drew back on it before holding it in his hand and staring at the amber, rather then looking back over at Daphne. He was sure she was pissed at him for turning his nose up at her advances. She obviously didn't understand that for him, she simply wasn't an option. He wasn't wired like that.

He loved Carol and he didn't want to be with anyone else. It seemed so simple to him.

He knew he was doing the right thing by telling Daphne no, but he still ended up feeling like asshole anyway. He didn't like seeing the rejection in Daphne's face. He didn't want to make anyone feel like that. Maybe if he'd been better with words he would have been able to let her down gently.

His brother had always told him he was far to blunt for his own good. He'd always said Daryl would do better with people, women more specifically, if he simply leaned to talk a bit nicer.

He shook his head to himself slightly and decided to explain himself, rather then simply sending her on her way.

He sighed heavily and searched his head for the right words before he started.

"Not trying to be a prick. I'm really not. But I'd much rather piss you off right now then have her feelin' like shit when I tell her." He shook his head and felt his stomach twist around on it's self, at the mere thought of having to tell Carol something like that. "She ain't done a thing to deserve it." he added.

Daphne shook her head. "It wouldn't have to be about her."

He rolled his head on the wall to face her, meeting her gaze while he spoke. "Yeah. It would."

It was then that he noticed the thick layer of make up and the extra tight clothes she was sporting. He couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"You got someone waitin' on you to. You really wanna do that to him?" he asked, deciding to deflect the attention from him, before she asked him anything about Carol.

She smiled at him then, but it wasn't the flirtatious smile that she had been wearing earlier. No, this smile was the one that someone tossed at you when they thought you were being ridiculous.  
"Daryl. It's just sex. Your making into a bigger deal then it has to be."

He honestly believed it really wasn't all that important to Daphne. She did want him for anything more then a quick roll and tumble and he doubted, if he were to give it to her, that it would change anything between them. He was also sure, that somewhere Merle was shaking his head at Daryl's decisions. Because like Daphne, Merle believed a fuck was simply that. Nothing needed to get complicated if you didn't want it to.  
Merle had tried to instill these kinds of beliefs into him, but they never quite took. Now that he'd met Carol, he was sure that he was just a different kind of person to Merle…and to Daphne.

"He's gonna be happy I'm alive and I don't plan on telling him the rest. Why upset someone over something that doesn't really matter" she stopped then and looked over at him, smiling slightly and rolling her eyes. "But I'm guessing you could never lie to her right. You're just Mr morals"

He narrowed his eyes at her tone and tried to bite back his own annoyance. He didn't see why it had to be a bad thing. Why she was making out like he was a self righteous asshole because he only wanted to sleep with Carol.

"I could lie to her. If don't take a genius to do it. But I just don't want to. What I got with her-." He stopped and shook his head "I don't want to fuck it up for myself, I put work into it and I wanna keep it. I don't wanna fuck it up for-"

"Someone like me?" Daphne snapped, causing him to jump back in his spot. "Yeah Daryl, I get it."

It hadn't been what he was going to say.

_"Anything", _he was going to to he wouldn't fuck it up for anything. But he decided not to correct her. It would only add to the conversation and right now he desperately wanted it to end.

He hated to think it. But he was pretty sure that this was about Daphne's bruised ego more then anything else. He didn't know if anyone had ever gotten repulsed at the idea of being with her and he didn't know if anyone had ever turned her down. But going off the bitter look she was wearing right now, he was pretty sure this was a first for Daphne.

Sophia had believed that she was putting Daphne in her place. Sophia wanted to make sure Daphne knew that she didn't have a chance with him.

Daphne had seen it as nothing more then a challenge.

He got up, telling her he was going to take a walk around. She didn't say a word more and by the time he circled the house and made his way back, she was gone.

* * *

There was an odd feeling that was sitting heavily in the pit of his gut. He thought maybe it was from the discomfort and and awkwardness that Daphne had caused the night before.

Maybe it had been the miserable comments Sophia had made about the house.

There was also the possibility that it was brought on because he was going to be leaving them alone again.

Or maybe it was all three of those things.

He tried to ignore the sickening feeling as he made his way into the kitchen, but the feeling only intensified when he found them both sitting at the kitchen table.

Daphne was at one end of the long table, looking over her map while she chewed away at what ever they were both enjoying for breakfast. While Sophia sat at the other end, flicking through a book.

They both seemed to become aware of his presence at the same time, lifting their eyes to him simultaneously and both adding to the uneasy feeling he was suffering through.

They didn't looked worried. They didn't have the slightest bit of concern hidden in their expressions. If anything, he would say the looked comfortable. The both had something to do and they were settled in to do it.

"You heading out?" Daphne asked as she snapped her eyes back to the map.

She had been like this all morning. Refusing to look at him or talk to him in length. He didn't blame her, he didn't really want to look at her after last nights awkwardness. He hummed and looked over to Sophia, nodding his head towards the door.

Sophia got the gist of the gesture and jumped from her seat to follow him outside.

"I won't be to long" he promised Daphne before he followed the kid to the porch. Daphne nodded, and grunted a noise back at him. But that was all he got from her before he slipped out.

He closed the door behind him and pulled his back over his shoulder. "You be good."

"I will" Sophia quickly promised. She said the words with little to no thought behind them, just like all kids when asked to do something that they had been asked to do a hundred times before.

He shook his head and leaned down slightly. "No. I mean be good, no talkin back and don't say shit just to get a rise outta her. I don't wanna have to deal with her shit later all cause you got to feelin' like it might be fun to piss her off."

"_Deal with her shit_?" Sophia echoed, squinting her eyes at him in confusion.

"Don't cuss." he snapped quickly. There were a hundred times a day when he had to wonder 'what would Carol do', but telling the kid to watch her mouth wasn't one of em.

Sophia's finger snapped up to point at him."But you just-"

He quickly mirrored the movement and cut her off."Don't talk back."

He watched as Sophia's jaw tightened and she crossed her arms in defeat. "What do you mean _deal with… _What happened?_"_

"I mean just what I said. Just please, for the love of god, be good."

She sighed heavily and crossed her arms tightly, but he had a good feeling that she was going to mind what he had told her.

If he was lucky he was going to be able to rid himself of Daphne, without having to deal with her bruised ego anymore. If he was even luckier, within the next day or two, he was going to be back with Carol. Then he wouldn't have to concern himself with Sophia quite so much and he wouldn't have to deal with the fact the kid was kind of turning into a bit of a smart ass. Carol would know what to do about all that shit.

* * *

He guessed it was nearing midday when he finally made his way back. He hadn't found a car, but he had siphoned enough fuel to get them back on the road. He decided it would be easier to just load Sophia and Daphne into the car again and start heading towards the camp where he had lost Carol and his group.

He could find a car for Daphne on the way or, maybe they would find his group and they would have one for her. At the very least he would be able to use Dales jumpers to get one started for her.

He had options and one of them would get her a car. He would help her out like she had helped him out. Then he was going to go back to his life. He was sure some people wouldn't have thought it wasn't much of a life. Living in a tent, scrounging for every single thing they needed to survive. But he didn't care, he was practically itching to return to it. There was a bounce in every step he took, because he was completely aware of just how close he was to returning to it.

He hadn't even taken a single step back inside the house when the familiar sound hit his ears.

He stood frozen in the doorway while his heart started hammering away in his chest.

The first thing that caught his eye, was the back door. It was in the kitchen and led out onto the wraparound porch.

It was wide open.

The feeling of dread that he had been holding in his gut all day, spread though him like wildfire, burning everything it touched, until he was sure that he was going to burst into flames right there in the living room.

His feet bound forward, towards the sounds of the walkers, that had invaded their temporary home.

His mind couldn't consider the possibilities of what had happened. There wasn't enough time for his imagination to conjure up a scenario. He just knew he needed to kill them.

At first, when he made his way into the kitchen, he didn't see a single thing.

He could hear them loud and clear, but it wasn't until he looked around that he found them.

Three of them. All huddled around in a circle, on their hands and knees. Blood puddled on the tiles and smeared all around them. Almost nothing left of the person they were devouring.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

He couldn't help but wonder what might have happened, if he had have just listened to Sophia. Maybe things would have turned out better if they had have just left Daphne behind and gone.

But he hadn't listened to Sophia. He'd gone out to collect fuel and to find Daphne a car. Only he didn't find her a car and in the end she hadn't needed one.

They drove in silence now, because he didn't know what to say to her. He hadn't known what to say to her all morning.

_He had taken down the Walkers in the kitchen and then heard the snarling still ringing in his ears, coming from somewhere upstairs. _

_He doesn't remember a single clear thought that went through his head when he heard the sound, he just remembers running up the stairs and then down the hall. _

_He'd plunged his knife into the things skull and the braced the handle of the door, the door that the walker had been clawing at._

_For the first time since he arrived back at the house he didn't know what to do and that was when the thoughts screamed out in his head. Without effort, his mind put everything together, like puzzle pieces snapping into place. He felt like he knew what was behind the door before he even opened it. But in what condition, he didn't know._

_Slowly he turned the handle to the hall closet and took a slow step back. The hinges squeaked loudly but once the door was stilled he heard the numbers being called off. __  
__  
__"4952. 4953. 4954."_

_He dropped down onto his knees and plied her hands from her ears and she had screamed. He has no idea how long that scream lasted. The smeared dried blood that was on her hands, didn't belong to her. There were no bites on her. Not a single scratch. But something was broken in her expression and he didn't know how to fix it._

_He hoped it was something Carol would soon be tending to. She was Carol's kid. Not his. He didn't know how to help her and he sure as shit didn't know how to look after her. _

_Mary had been right. He was reckless and he was stupid. He wasn't her father and the women knew it just by looking at him. Because he was completely fucking clueless._

_He had asked Sophia what happened, he asked her how the walkers got into the house. She had offered him very few words on the matter. _

_She was still pale and shaking. Her eyes were still red and every so often he could hear the faint whisper of numbers being called off, in some attempt to comfort herself. Because Sophia was sure that when she was scared, as scared as she was right now, that all she needed to do was count and eventually her mother would rescue her. _

_When her voice would fade out, he found himself continuing on with the number she had left off on. He couldn't seem to help himself, his mind just darted the numbers off, one after the other. As though a part of him hoped that the system would work. Maybe if he continued on with the ritual then Carol would appear and she would save Sophia from his stupidity. _

_He didn't know much about Sophia. Not really. But he knew enough to know that if Sophia didn't want to talk, then she simply wouldn't. He had seen it before._

_She had told him that when the Walkers got into the kitchen, she had ran. She had run upstairs and hid herself in the closet. She told him that was all she knew._

_But he knew that she was lying._

_There was blood on her hands. Daphne's blood._

_Her bloody hand prints where smeared on the kitchen bench and on the railing of the stairs. But he didn't point any of that out to her. What right did he have to question her. He was just some asshole who had left her alone. _

_He had gotten so close to their old campsite that he could taste it on his tongue. He had gone against every rule that he had made for himself. He had put aside everything he knew to be safe and sure, all because he wanted to go home. He wanted to be back with Carol. And he was sick of waiting._

As he drove down the familiar roads and stole glances at Sophia Her eyes darted around the area, watching for some sign of their group, or sighting of Carol.

She didn't say a single word when he stopped to clear the road of a car blocking their way. She just continued to look around.

He could feel his stomach tightening as they got closer to the campsite. He could see her moving around in her seat more, as though she couldn't keep herself still.

It felt as thought the air had been sucked from the car. Neither of them could breath as they drove down the trail, back to the campsite. Their campsite. Their home.

He heard Sophia's breathing grow heavy, but he couldn't respond to it. He couldn't think about anything when he saw the abandoned lot.

He stopped the car in the same spot that he used to park his truck and got out. Sophia followed him silently, moving around the car until she was bumping into his side as he walked.

There were scraps of materials peering out from under piled up dirt. Bits of their tents and scattered clothing, buried into the earth, because it had been left their on the ground for so long.

At the same time that he felt the tugging at the sleeve of his jacket, he herd Sophia's quiet and strained voice.

"Daryl. Look. Over there"

She pulled him along behind her, over to where Andrea's old car had been left to rot. Right where he had told her to leave it, where he had begged her to finally let the piece of shit die.

Sophia let go of him and his arm fell limp at his side, as she walked over to the car slowly. He knew what she was looking at, he could see it too. Painted onto the windshield was message, that Sophia read out slowly.

"Daryl and Sophia. Wait here. We will return every day." she nodded to herself firmly and then looked at him with hard eyes. "So we wait, right"

It wasn't a question. It was a demand. She wanted to wait here for Carol to magically appear.

Sophia wasn't stupid. She wasn't even someone he would describe as being childish or hopeful. He had never seen her try create a fantasy land out of this nightmare. She knew that it was a nightmare, that was why she hid from it. It was why she closed her eyes and blocked her ears. She knew the reality of their situation. She knew what it meant to live in chaos and fear. She had been living in this world since she was born. She knew that monsters existed long before the dead had risen.

For as long as he had known her, it had always been obvious to him, that she was very aware of her surroundings. She could look around and see the clues. She had been hunting with him and asking him all the right questions. Sophia could look around and see things for what they were.

So right now, he knew that she could see all the things that he could see. The painted message was peeling and cracking. Covered in so much dust you had to squint to see the words.

He couldn't see a single clear track on the ground around them. If the group were returning everyday, like the message implied, then he would see clear imprints left on the ground.

But still, Sophia wanted to wait. And he agreed with a nod.

Maybe the kid had the same thoughts running through her head that were spiraling through his.

Perhaps their group no didn't lingered in the area when they checked on the space. It had been weeks, after all. It would make sense that they didn't feel the need to wonder through the site anymore. Maybe tomorrow they would hear the car pull up and they would wave them down. Everything would be fine. He wanted to believe that. He wanted to twist this nightmare that was surrounding them, into some kind of fairy-tale, one where everyone lives happily ever after. But it just all sounded like bullshit.

"Should hunt. Get somehtin' to eat" he said flatly as his eyes fell on her, wondering what was going through her head right now.

She shook her head, with her eyes still fixed on the faded message."We should wait. They might come. We don't want to miss them."

He could hear it in her voice. It sounded the same as his. Empty. She didn't believe the words she was saying.

She just couldn't accept what was right in front of her. She didn't want to.

"Car's bright red Soph. They'll see it." he promised, wishing he could force some kind of emotion into his tone.

Sophia looked at their car and chewed her lips nervously. She knew that he was right, but it wasn't enough.

He sighed and nodded to himself. Why should she trust him? He had been wrong so many times before. He thought everything would be ok when he left her alone this morning. He could still see the dried blood on her hands and arms, acting as proof that he was a reckless and stupid moron.

"Look. We wont go far. Ok?"

Finally she nodded and followed him over to the car, to gather the few belongings they had.

* * *

She sat beside him watching the flames flicker. It had been two days, but there was no sign of anyone coming to the campsite. The first day he couldn't deny that there was a part of him that was expecting a miracle. But he wasn't surprised when the sun disappeared from the sky and they were still there alone. Waiting on someone who he knew wasn't going to show up.

Carol wasn't here, their tent was long gone and so was their group. But they still sat in the same spot they had once shared. They had built upon the same burnt out fire that they used to light up everyday.

He needed to get her to come with him tomorrow. But he would save that conversation for the morning.

Somewhere inside of her, he knew she was thinking the same thing he was. They couldn't just sit here praying that everything would just work out.

He knew that It had been to long. They had been out here too long. There was no doubt in his head now. They would think that he and Sophia were dead. But seeing the message painted on the car gave him hope that Carol was at least alive.

Sophia was so close to him that he couldn't make a move without brushing against her side, but when he looked at her face he could see that she was miles away. He couldn't ever remember seeing so much distance in her expression.

She had been quietly repeating "They'll be here soon" and "They're going to come here and find us. Just like the message says", but no matter how many times she said these things out aloud it was obvious that she couldn't make herself believe them. And even though she couldn't make him believe them either, he had nodded in reply. But he knew she could see straight through the gesture.

Sophia squinted at the fire slightly before she spoke. "You think my Ma and Ed are-"

He looked down at her and watched her expression twist before she dropped her eyes back down to her feet. He was sure she hadn't meant to say the words out aloud and she had caught herself before she finished. But it didn't matter, he knew what the question was.

"No. I don't" he said with complete certainty as he tossed some more wood onto the fire and settled back next to her.

She looked up at him with narrowed eyes and stared at him for a long moment before she spoke again. "How do you know? You're not with her…she left him because of you and now-"

He shook his head as she spoke and cut her off before she could continue. "That's bullshit. She didn't leave Ed because of me, she left him cause of you. Because of what he did…because of what he could do"

The crease in Sophia's brow deepened even more and she was frowning at him. But he knew the expression was made more out of confusion then anything else.

"At the Quarry. He grabbed ya. Hurt ya…" He added quietly drawing his eyes back to the fire as he spoke. "Maybe I'm not suppose to say that." He said as he considered the reasons why Carol wouldn't have ever told Sophia that herself.

"Probably not mean to put all that on you." He sighed then and shook his head.

His eyes hurt and he was tried. He was getting even more tired when he considered the fact that tomorrow, if they couldn't find Carol, he was looking at yet another sleepless night ahead of him.

"Better then you thinkin' she left his ass cause she wanted to run around with me. I told her to leave him. She couldn't do it." He smiled slightly to himself. He could still hear her voice in his head, he could remember what she had told him that night in the tent. And he growing to weak to push the memories of being curled up with her. Warm and safe.

"Once she saw that mark on your arms it was fuckin' done and dusted" he rambled. That was another sign that he needed to sleep.

When Sophia didn't say anything else he looked over and found that she looked even more confused then she had before. He could see her eyes darting around in front of her while she worked something out in her head.

Without saying a word she got up from her spot and walked over to their car. He kept a close eye on her until she climbed into the backseat and closed the door.

He felt like he was watching her slowly sink into something and he didn't know how to help her. It would be a lie to say that her dark mood had been just about the abandoned campsite. He knew it was about Daphne. It was about what ever had happened.

He'd asked her if there was anything she needed to talk about, but when Sophia had ignored the question he hadn't pressed the question.

After all, who the fuck was he to push her?

* * *

The next few updates are long chapters, they might take me a little while to finish, but hopefully I can get stuck into them and move this story along.

Drop me a review and let me know what you think.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: There are a lot of time jumps coming up. I will be adding the month into the chapter titles, to let you know that weeks are passing between each chapter. There might be some jumps taking place within the chapters, but i'll add in a title to let you know.**

* * *

**Chapter 32: July**

"We just have to keep moving. That's all." Rick announced with his eyes still caught on the map that was spread out over the hood of his car.

The group that was huddled around him, nodded along in agreement, as they all assessed which herd was where and what herd was likely to join up with another.

She didn't have any input. She didn't have anything to say that could possibly help.

Rather then standing around trying to feign interest, she started weaving back through the cars that were spread out down the road.

She headed back to the truck that she traveled in, slept in, ate in, rested in. The truck she was sure she was going to spend what was left of her life in. Because surely they couldn't go on like this. She wasn't sure she wanted to go on like this.

"Looking a bit green around the gills."

She stopped briefly when the familiar voice reared up. But she didn't bother turning back to look at him. She didn't need to. She knew the expression he would be wearing. If she had any artistic skills at all, she would have no problem sketching out the way his face looked right now, without even glancing in his direction.

"I saw you this mornin, ya know. Pukin' ya soul up, over on the side of the road."

She turned then and looked over at him. Wondering where he was going with this. Why he even cared to bring it up.

He smirked and took a long draw of his smoke, before he bothered to continue.

"Got you a stomach of steel. I remember when we got that bad Mexican food, we both thought we were gonna die, the food poisoning was so bad." He chuckled to himself at the memory, but she couldn't join him. She just stared at him, waiting for him to get to the point. "I was hugging the toilet bowl all night, never vomited so much in my life."

He smiled at her then with narrowed eyes, as his head dropped slightly to the side. "Not you though. Got you a gut of steel. Always thought so."

She shrugged, backed up a step and turned around, ready to continue on her way.

"Only time I ever seen you puke was when you were knocked up" he added with far to much amusement in his voice.

She quickened up her pace then and started briskly walking back toward the truck.

"You stupid bitch." he chuckled, barely loud enough for her to hear as she retreated. "Look at the shit you've gotten yourself into, all because you couldn't keep ya legs clo-"

"Back the hell of, man"

She didn't turn back when T-dog snapped at Ed and not when Ed simply laughed in response. When she got into the truck she kept her eyes fixed straight ahead, even when T-dog got in beside her.

"That all true?"

She took a deep breath and sucked back all of the pain and fear that threatened to escape her.

Resting her hands on the steering wheel, she dropped back into the seat and forced herself to calm down. But the struggle she was in must have been obvious.

"It's gonna be alright Carol" T-dog promised with a tone that reflected his complete uncertainty. Because this was what you were supposed to do, when you saw someone who was completely hopeless, when you could see that someone was quite obviously doomed,… you lied.

She let out a laugh and nodded, deciding to play along.

"Yeah. Everything's going to be great." she agreed as she leaned forward to start the truck.

* * *

"What if they come and-.. and we're not here?" Sophia spat with far to much emotion, pointing at the ground as she spoke. She was sure he was far to stupid to understand which _'here'_ she was referring to.

The sun was barely in sight and that usually meant that Sophia was still dead on her feet. But this morning she had woken up with more energy then usual and she was insisting that she spend all that energy sitting around, doing fuck all.

"What if they near by and were sitting round here, waiting when we don't need to be waitin'?" he asked coldly, unable to draw any emotion into his voice. He was exhausted and couldn't bare the thought of sitting still. If he sat still for to long he was going to pass out and that wasn't an option.

What he needed to do today, was figure out where the group was.

"You don't even know where you wanna go. It's stupid." Sophia growled out.

He raised his brow in surprise. Sophia's words and tone had obviously even surprised her. She recoiled as soon as they had left her mouth and watched him wide eyed, as though he was going to snap at her, for her attitude.

"Sorry" Sophia quickly mumbled out, dropping her eyes down to his feet.

He shook his head.

"Don't be. Ya right, I don't know where to go. Ya right.. and ya allowed to question me, especially if ya think I'm doing something wrong. I'll hear ya out." He said calmly, mostly because he didn't have the energy to sound anything but calm.

"But Soph" he added, drawing her eyes back up to his.

"What if they-… they're busy. Or what if they don't got a workin' car…what if they got themselves in some trouble or if they sick-….Or if they-"

"That's a lot of what if's" Sophia said quietly.

"You know we cant wait here. I know that you know that Soph"

Sophia looked away from him then and around the empty camp site before her sights made their way back up to him. "Ok. But- we gotta make some kind of a sign. Somethin'."

"Deal"

* * *

There were three ways into the campsite. A North, East and South entrance. First they checked the South entry, for no other reason then it was the closest to them. Then the East entry. By the time they were walking through to the North Entry he had given up hope of seeing anything at all.

The both stood still, looking at the ground. He examined the tracks in the dried mud, the newer set. The old ones. And the ones that were somewhere in between.

"You think it's them?" Sophia asked, so quickly that all her words ended up in an excited jumbled mess.

"Someone's been here a few times. This set here" he said pointing to the ones that he knew she would be able to see clearly. "They only a few days old. No more the a week"

He started walking again with Sophia following closely beside him.

"Water runs through here. Heads down to the stream, makes the ground muddy." He explained before she had a chance to question it.

Those were the kinds of questions she asked. She wanted to know '_why'_. It was always '_but why?'._ It had gotten so that he could hear the question before she even asked it.

As they got closer to the road, the tracks started the fade away, but he could see where they had veered off. He could see the direction they had come from.

He was so focused on tracking that he didn't think to much about anything else, until he felt the familiar tug at his sleeve.

"No roads. Not without a car. That's what you said." Sophia hissed, keeping her voice low as though someone or something would hear her.

He stopped then and looked around for another option. He nodded and rubbed his hand over his face, willing his brain to operate at full capacity, rather then this barely functioning state he was caught in.

"Yeah. Yeah ya right" he mumbled as he headed towards the side of the road, leading Sophia back into the cover of the thick treeline.

They didn't stop. Not until they saw the mass of cars that had obviously been moved from the road to clear the way. He pulled her along with him then and inspected the area, to see if there was anything that might give him a sign that it was their people who had moved the cars.

After that, they just walked. He was happy that the highway they were following was a straight shot. There weren't to many other options, they had to have come down this way.

"You smell that?" Sophia asked scrunching her face up and taking another deep breath through her nose.

"Burnin. Somethin's burnin...or was. Close by" he mumbled trying to get a clear view of the sky through the cover of the trees.

He could only just make out the fading smoke in the sky. He could only just tell what direction it was coming from. But as soon as he had a good idea of where it was coming from, he started leading them both in that direction.

"Should we really be doing this. Headin towards a fire?"

He couldn't help but laugh at her tone. It was almost sarcastic and completely unlike her.

"Just goin with the odds. It might be them." he said, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead. He was sure they were heading in the right direction. He couldn't see anything in front of him but trees and then more trees, but the smell of smoke was getting stronger.

"We'll be careful though." he assured her as he looked over his shoulder at her.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long they had been standing there, stuck in spot that was clouded by the smoldering ashes.

He remembered peering through the woods to get a better look, but once he could clearly see the destruction in front of him, his feet had taken over and pulled him forward.

He looked around them and tried to slow his breathing, but it was impossible to dismiss the panic rising in him.

In amongst what remained of the farm, was Dales RV, it to was still smoldering near the burnt out barn.

They'd found a few scattered items here and there, enough to assure them that their group had been here.

He could see the the zigzagging tracks that led back to the road, but it didn't fill him with much hope.

He could hear her heavy breathing, wheezing and whistling with each intake, but until now he had been to scared to look a her.

She looked as though someone had just kicked her in the gut, then realized it wasn't enough and decided it might be more fitting to just rip the kids heart right out of her chest. There wasn't a single bit of her expression that didn't mirror everything he was feeling.

And just as it had been for days, he didn't know what to say.

He couldn't even bring himself to say anything when she turned quickly and started walking back the way they'd came, with her hand balled up tightly at her sides.

There was nothing here for them and he knew it. Sophia knew it too. But he still felt like she was dragging him away from the burnt out farm. Carol had been here and she had been here recently. A part of him just wanted to hang around for awhile, hoping to get some kind of a sense of her. He thought maybe it would help him feel something other then this dread that was spreading through his blood like ice.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33: August**

"Well,…" he looked around, for something he thought might work. But there was nothing around them but trees.

"Try on me." he said with a nod and a slap to his chest.

Sophia looked at him with a scrunched nose and narrowed eyes. "Huh?"

"Just pretend I'm tryin ta kill ya" he said, giving her a firm nod. "Gotta practice"

She raised her brow up at him and looked down at the machete in her hand, then back up to him with a smirk. "Pretty sure that's the kind of thing we'll only get to practice once."

He couldn't help but laugh and shake his head slightly.

"You a smart ass" he muttered.

Quickly he snatched a long and solid looking stick from the ground. "Here take this" he said as he replaced the weapon for the branch and then took his spot back in front of her."Aright. You ready?"

Sophia quickly looked at her hand and made sure she was holding it the the same way he had taught her to hold the machete. Then she looked back up at him and shrugged and nodded, with far more uncertainty then he would have liked.

"Now most of em are gonna be taller then ya. You're gonna have to use that to ya advantage" he said as he took a few steps back from her.

Again her eyes narrowed at his words."How? Isn't my height the biggest disadvantage?"

He nodded. It was a disadvantage, there were more then a few dozen times a day that he wished he could somehow make the kid grow, for this exact reason. But they had to work with what they had and truthfully, he was happy that she was at least smart enough to know that. "It is if ya ain't prepared. But your gonna be prepared, ok"

He ignore the nervousness growing in her expression. He ignored the way the stick shook slightly as she lifted it up. He ignored those things because he had no damn choice, she needed to learn how to do this.

"Ya gonna try for under the chin, or through the eye. Then when you got it in place, you ram that machete in the fuckers head"

Sophia shook her head and raised her brow at him."Did you always have such a dirty mouth"

He nodded.

"I did. And yours ain't been to damn clean lately either. Called me an asshole yesterday for wakin' ya up" he pointed out as he leaned down ad readjusted her hands on the stick.

The frown that appeared on her face quickly had him biting his cheek to stop from laughing.

"I was tired and you were knocking crap around." Quickly she dropped the stick back down to her side, while her other hand raised to point at him. "You were doing it on purpose" she growled.

"Focus Sophia"

He knew what she was doing, even if she wasn't completely aware of it herself. She was trying to distract him, she wanted to stop all of this, even if it was only for a few minutes. He and Sophia didn't talk to much, truthfully they spent more time in silence then anything else. But it was amazing how many conversations she tried to have with him when they were training.

"Ok, now. You gotta be fast. You cant take a single second to think about nothing else, but how your gonna get the brain" he said as she raised the stick back up and locked her eyes on his, trying to take in everything he was saying.

"Doesn't everyone have to be fast, even if their tall." She questioned, giving that squinty look she threw out, whenever he'd said something that confused her.

"I could push em if I felt the need, or kick em down. If I needed to buy me self a bit of time. I have that option. You don't. You gotta go straight for the kill"

He could see it in her face, hear it in her voice. The fear and anxiety was already raising beyond what she could handle.  
It was just them here. There were no Walkers, she wasn't in any danger. But the mere idea of trying to take one down on her own was scaring the shit out of her.

"What if I miss? Then I have the machete caught in it while it's still coming at me."

He leaned forward slightly and made sure he spoke as clearly as he could. To make sure she heard him. To make sure that when the time came, his voice rang through her head.

"You gotta think even faster if that happens. You gotta decide if you got time to yank it out and have another go, or if you should cut ya losses and run. But you have to make that decision in a single damn second." He paused for a second, taking in the size of the kid once more. "Most of the time Sophia, I want you to run."

Suddenly her eyes dropped from his and darted back and forth on the ground in front of her, as she ran the scenario through her head. "What if it's falling on me when the machete gets caught?"

"Then you push on the handle or the walker, just enough to get the walker back a bit. Give you a way out. Or if you got the time just jump out of the way. Then fuckin' run"

It was then that it simply got to much and he could see it before she voiced it. But it didn't evoke compassion and understanding. It only brought anger and frustration to the surface, because he was just a shit scared as she was. He didn't want to be teaching her this shit, but he was completely fucking horrified of what could happen is she didn't learn it.

She shook her head frantically as she finished playing out the story in her head. The story where her weapon gets caught and she gets chewed apart.

She quickly tossed the stick on the ground and stepped away from it. "I can't do it"

"Bullshit" he barked back at her, causing her to flinch. But now the reaction was out of surprise, rather then fear. She jumped back the way anyone would when a loud noise had surprised them.

He had yelled at Sophia more then he would like to admit, but after while, once she realized he had no intention of hitting her, she yelled right back at him.

"I cant!" she growled through her teeth.

"You can. And ya gonna." he snapped, snatching up the stick and forcing it back into her hand.

For a single second she froze, looking at the stick in her hand, before she tossed it back down at his feet."No! I'm not doing this!"

"Ya gonna! I ain't playin' Soph. Now, pick up that fuckin' stick and pretend ya gonna kill me"

Her eyes were fixed hard on his as her jaw tightened and her brow creased. "You keep being an asshole, maybe I wont pretend" She threatened with a conviction that would have scared a lot of people. Her own mother would have been damn near horrified to hear her talk like that. But he wasn't. This was how he needed her to be.

"Ya mad?" he questioned lowering his voice.

She didn't respond. Instead she crossed her arms and looked away from him in some childish act of defiance.

"Good. Be fuckin mad. If it weren't for those things, we wouldn't be stuck out here in the middle of fuckin nowhere, wearin' out each others company. You should be pissed."

She was pissed, but she was also relaxing and accepting the argument was over.

As many arguments as they'd had while he attempted to train her, ultimately she knew it had to be done. She knew just as well as he did, that every argument they'd had was based on nothing but fear. She was scared to kill them and he was scared she wouldn't.

* * *

_Their routine had started that morning after they'd found the burnout farm. _

_He had, with out meaning to, fallen asleep. _

_He was supposed to be watching out for her while she slept in the car. He had reasoned with himself that he was just going to sit down for a minute. Then he decided he was just going to lean back for a minute, then he thought he might just close his eyes for a minute._

_He woke up in start. Nothing had disturbed him, except the voice in his head. It had suddenly, even in his unconscious state, reminded him that he was supposed to watching the kid. But when his eyes snapped open, he found her standing a few feet away from him. She was scanning the area._

_He guessed he had only been asleep for maybe three or four hours. But it was enough to make all the difference. It was enough to kick start his brain again._

_He had apologized to her. Because once again, he'd put her in danger. But Sophia wouldn't have it. What she wanted from him, was to be taught how to properly take watch. She wanted him to tell her what he did all night while she slept. What he looked and listened for._

_There was something miserable about teaching her that. Something so horribly depressing in the way she had asked. __  
__There was so much defeat in her tone. An acceptance of how things were now. And it ran through his chest like shards of glass. She knew just as well as he did, that they had no idea of how to find Carol, if she was even alive to find. She knew he needed to sleep and she needed to learn to keep watch, because they really were on their own now._

_The fantasy's they had both created in their heads, of finding their group and getting back what they had lost, were gone._

He kept watch through the night, then a few hours before sunrise he would wake Sophia up and she would take over. She was under strict instructions to stay focused and to wake him up if she so much as got a bad feeling. He told her that he would rather her wake him up every twenty minutes, then ignore her instincts. Because they were good instincts.

When he'd wake up he'd find her right where he left her, looking just as alert as she had been when she started her shift.

And once he was up, they would pack away the few things they had and they would start again.

They hunted every morning. And he taught her how to do that. She didn't just follow behind him anymore, she was starting to track the animals with him. She was learning to set the snares.

He taught her everything his father had taught him and Merle about surviving. But he did it in the way he always wished he had been taught. With as much patients as he could possibly muster.

It seemed now, that the only thing that truly frustrated him, was her reluctance to kill the walkers. He couldn't blame her really. She was just to small. And most of the time he was sure that the idea of her killing a walker scared the shit out of him, more then it did her. But that didn't mean that he was going to stop trying.

They would walk all day and look for them. Searching all the places he remembered Glenn talking about. Places that were near the farm or near the campsite. Just wandering around, as long as the sun would allow them to.

She knew as well as he did, that in the afternoon, once they had found somewhere to sleep and their dinner was cooking, she was going to start training again. Whether she liked it or not. And he they would probably argue again and he would most likely end up feeling like an asshole again. But he would keep pushing.

As much as he dreaded the thought, he wanted Sophia to be able to survive without him.

Months ago, before they had gotten separated from the group, he wouldn't have thought it was possible, but now he was sure of it.

He could do this, he could get her there.

She was going to make it back to Carol, with or without him.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** I've been told that some people didn't receive a notification for the previous chapter. So just have a look and make sure you've read it.

* * *

**Chapter 34 : September**

"Did you and Daryl ever talk about having children someday?"

Herschel asked the question to help fill the silence in the cell. To help her relax, while he poked and pressed at her body. It was a simple question and one that she should have been able to answer. But the mere mention of Daryl's name, always managed to make her hands shake and her breath catch.

"I'm sorry Carol, I didn't mean to-"

She quickly shook her head, before the old man could finish his unnecessary apology. "No. No, really it's fine." she promised as she shifted her body slightly.

Herschel stopped the podding of her stomach and took a seat on the stool by the bunk , in her cell.

"Daryl and I-" she started as she readjusted her shirt and sat herself up on the edge of the mattress. "We didn't talk about having children. We were to busy worrying about Sophia to talk about adding to the mix. Besides, we weren't really in a situation to even dream about-…" she stopped then and dropped her eyes from Herschel down to her lap.

She didn't mention that she just assumed her time for more children was over.

Sophia, it had always seemed, was something of a miracle. She had never used contraception while she was with Ed, but Sophia was the only child she had to show for her efforts.

In Ed's eyes, it had been just another failure of Carols. She had accepted his insults as she always did and she had believed him, when he told her that she was broken in some way, that there was something wrong with her and that was why she was never able to give him more children. Or more to the point, she wasn't able to produce the son he was so certain he deserved.

For the first time though, she was considering that the problem was most likely Ed.

In the brief period of time that she and Daryl were having sex, she had fallen pregnant without any effort. She wasn't planning out her ovulation, she wasn't peeing on strips to find the most opportune time. It had just happened and it had happened quickly.  
From her best calculations she and Daryl had only been sleeping together for a month…maybe six or seven weeks tops. She wasn't to sure. But it was nothing in comparison to the literal years that she had been sleeping with Ed.

"So how does it look?" she asked, hoping to move this along. As usual, she wanted to be alone. If people didn't have quiet company to offer, then she would rather they just leave.

"From my knowledge, which is limited. I am guessing your around three months, maybe four?"

She nodded. She knew that much. What she didn't know, was if she was going to make it to five months. She wasn't sure if this baby was ever going to live beyond the space it was occupying right now.

"Do you think it's ok?"

"I think you need to eat more. I think you need to rest more and take better care of yourself. But yes. In my opinion, I think it's ok."

Herschel didn't linger to long after the examination, though she knew he would have liked to. A lot of them tried to spend time with her, but she often found herself pushing them away, without even really meaning to.

There was just to much going on in her head and she didn't have the time or energy to deal with anything else.

She worked all day and helped take watch most nights. She did her fair share and then some. But at the end of of the day when there was simply nothing else for her to do, she wanted to be left to dwell on her own misery. Just like she intended to to do tonight.

She laid down on the bed and pulled out his dark denim jacket, from where she kept it under her pillow. She clutched it to her chest, like she did every night and pressed her face into it.

At first she did it because he had found the scent comforting, but over time, the smell had faded.

Now it was just something to hang onto.

* * *

Those first few weeks after finding the farm, he guessed that he had been in shock and that maybe it had messed with his head. Maybe it was because it had heightened the shock he had already been in.

In reality, he hadn't been ok since he woke up in that tent in Austin.

The racing thoughts and eagerness to move as much as he possibly could, was wearing off now. He hadn't realized just how manic he had been until he started to crash.

The adrenaline he had unknowingly been running on, had seemingly evaporated from his system. The numbness he had been clinging to, had worn off.

When they left Austin, each passing day, had him feeling one day closer to Carol, but now with each passing day, she felt that much further away from them.

There was no destination, no sure route that would lead them to her. And knowing that, seemed to slow everything down to a normal pace, it eased the racing thoughts and cured the numbness.

Now he was afraid.

He was more afraid then he had been in a very long time.

He didn't voice his concerns to Sophia, but there was a chance, if the group was alive, that they were no longer in Georgia. If that was true, then she really was gone to them. He'd never find her and they would spend forever chasing nothing.

Then there was Sophia. Distant and quiet. Loud and angry. Depressed.

Much like him, she didn't voice anything that was going through her head. She tried to pretend that she was ok and he let her go on like that. He let it pass, because selfishly he didn't know how much more he could handle.

"Ok. I'm, ready" she announced with the kind of determination that he had always wanted to hear from the girl.

He nodded and stepped behind her, getting into the familiar position, to ready himself for what was coming.

He checked the way she held the machete and watched the way she planted her feet into the ground.

She was right, she really was ready.

The walker approached them and he reminded her to breathe.

She had a tendency to hold her breath, which was fine when she was taking down just one of them. But the day would come when there would be a dozen of them and he explained, that if she continued on with the bad habit, she may just pass out while she was trying to fight.

Truthfully he was more worried that she would simply tire herself out to easily, but he knew she'd find the first reason more amusing. He'd say just about anything to keep things light.

She had been the one who decided that she was ready to start trying to take down the walkers. He wanted her to be confident, this was what he had been pushing for. But in the end, he had been so much more nervous then she was. It seemed that over the last few weeks, as Sophia grew more sure of herself, he grew more horrified that something would not only go wrong, but that he would have to live with knowing that he had, once again, put her in danger.

For days she had been trying to kill one and he had always jumped in front of her and taken over. His mind convinced him that something bad was about to happen, so the kid never got the chance to execute her carefully practiced moves.

Today was different though.

He was sure she was not only anticipating the movement of the walker but his as well. He didn't have chance to think about anything that could possibly go wrong, because Sophia stepped forward and plunged the machete under the walkers chin.

He watched as she drove the blade up into its brain, before she pulled it out and jumped back, just in time to get out of it's way.

He'd built it up in his head for so long. He had thought a wave of relief would wash over him. He thought it would give him some confidence and comfort.

But it didn't work out like that.

It didn't work because he knew she shouldn't be out here. Nothing was going to make him feel better about it. She didn't belong here. She was never really going to be safe out here, not ever.

"I did it" Sophia said softly while she looked at the stilled body on the ground.

The sound of her voice echoed his own feelings, maybe she had been hoping for something to shift inside of her. He guessed that she thought that it might make her feel a certain way. But it hadn't.

But even so, when she turned around to face him, he forced a smile and told her that she had done a good job.

* * *

"You still hungry?"

Sophia asked, drawing him out of his own head. He looked at her and tried to jump start his brain, so that he could answer the simple question.

He considered her words again and looked at the pot.

Sophia frowned at him and quickly shook her head, ignoring him."There's heaps. You should have more"

He just sat staring at her as she pried his bowl from his hands and began to fill it again. It wasn't until she was passing him back the bowl that he remembered how to form words.

"You should have it. I'm fine." He said lightly pressing the bowl pack into her hand.

Once again the kid frowned at him before she narrowed her eyes. She didn't look angry, just confused. Maybe even a little frustrated.

"I've had seconds…and thirds. I can't eat anymore, Daryl. I'll pop."

He was a bit stunned as he accepted the bowl from her, he wasn't to sure where the time had gone and how long he had been sitting there caught up in his own head.

He had been trying not to think about Carol and then realized how hard it was to simply avoid the idea of her. It seemed to only make him think of her more.

He remembered at the quarry, when he tried to avoid her, but it had only led to him watching her constantly, just to make sure they didn't enter into each others space. Avoiding her was impossible, even now.

It wasn't to long ago that he was able to keep his mind focused on traveling. He was heading somewhere, he could look at a map and plan a route, he could think about what they were going to need and how they were going to get it as quickly as possible.

But he didn't have to plan anything out anymore, because there wasn't a plan anymore. They were simply ticking spots off on a map, aimlessly.

"Can I sleep in the bedroom. This couch is all springs"

His eyes snapped up from his now emptied bowl and looked over at the kid, watching as she pushed her hand down on the couch cushions.

Rather then answer, he got up and started gathering up the few things they carried with them, then followed Sophia into the bedroom.

He dropped everything on the ground by the bed and then made his way over to the window, leaning into the frame as he looked out into the darkness. He could hear her moving around behind him and he didn't even have to look back to know exactly what she was doing, because she did the same thing every night. And so did he.

She knew that he walked around at night and checked for signs of danger, but she had made it more then clear, that she would rather he not go anywhere until she was fast asleep. It was a request he had no problem granting. Because he was fairly certain that Sophia was somewhat scared of the dark. Or at the very least, being alone in it.

Within minutes of her climbing into bed he could hear her breathing even out. He could see the sight of her in his head, because he had seen it a a hundred times. But for some reason, tonight, when he turned to look over at her, curled up in a ball clutching that rag doll, he felt his stomach flip.

It didn't matter that Sophia could hunt and kill animals without so much as flinching and it didn't matter that she had killed her first walker today, she was still just a kid.

For some reason when she slept, she looked younger. He still wasn't actually sure how old the kid was, but she looked less like a kid and closer to something he would describe as a baby.

She looked far to small and entirely too helpless to be in his care. And he knew, with complete certainty that she was far to valuable as well. As that thought passed through his head, for what he was sure, was the hundredth time today, it felt like someone had dug into chest and began squeezing at his heart.

It was then that the weight of everything had finally hit him. Fully and completely.

And he couldn't stop thinking about Carol and what it must be like for her. He couldn't stop thinking about all the things ha had done wrong and all the things he could still do wrong.

He couldn't see an end in sight and he couldn't remember how to breathe normally.

Quickly and quietly he left the bedroom, barely making it down the hallway before he realized he couldn't make it a step further.

His back slid down the wall, until he was on the floor clutching at his chest.

The brief thought, that he was having a heart attack, quickly passed.

He knew what was happening and he knew that eventually it would pass.

The idea that he was having a heart attack was something that always went through his head when the panic and anxiety decided to erupt within him. He had thought the same thing when he was nine and it had happened for the first time.

Another thought that always went through his head during the panic attack was the sound of his Merle's voice and the memory of his brother slapping the back of his back of the head saying _"Calm the hell down, you idiot". __  
_At the time he had glared at Merle, but now it was enough to make him laugh, the memory helped calm him down. And the words repeated in his head, over and over again, helping to remind him that his job right now was simple_._

He knew, from past experience, that he had most likely only been sitting there for a few minutes. But it didn't mean that he didn't feel like had been there for hours, fighting against his own body, trying to will it to do, what was supposed to do on its own.

Finally he stopped fighting against everything he had been holding back on since this started, knowing that's what had landed him in the position that he was in right now.

He drew his knees into his chest, then dropped his head into his palms and gave in.

_"I don't know what to do, Carol"_


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35: October**

He could make guesses.

He could sit awake at night, while the kid slept and try to figure out how long they had been separated from everyone else. But in the end, what did it matter, what did _knowing_ do for him?

He knew without a doubt that time was passing and he knew that because every day he felt the air getting colder and he found himself keeping their fires lit through the night, rather then letting them die down. The slowly dropping temperatures were his main concern at the moment, though he hadn't said anything about it to Sophia. He didn't tell her that Fall would soon come to an end and they would have to make some hard decisions.

He'd thought about pointing it out to her, but as he opened his mouth, he had quickly realized that if he did say something, he'd be admitting that he believed they'd still be out here when it came. Admitting that he believed, that Fall would leave them and Winter would arrive and they would still be out here in the wild, hopelessly and aimlessly wandering through the woods like two two stray dogs, trying to pick up a scent.

Sophia, didn't seem very aware of the time that had passed. More then once she had misjudged the passing of months for nothing more then weeks. And he let her go on thinking that, because what did it matter in the end anyway?

"Sorry Mr rabbit" Sophia offered the limp carcass, with little to no emotion in her voice. From what he could tell, she was just saying it to have something to say. He understood her feeling like she needed to make some noise. Sometimes it was so quiet for so long, that you weren't entirely sure that you hadn't lost your hearing at some point and not noticed.

So as much as he knew they both valued silence, sometimes you just had to fill the air with sound.

She set the rabbit aside and quickly untied the rope, while he kept his eyes on the area around them. He could hear her humming a tune while she worked and he took that as a sign that she was still busy.

Once the humming stopped he looked down and used one simple word that she repeated back to him, signaling that they were done here.

"Good?"

Sophia nodded, shoving the rope into her pocket and snatching up her rabbit. "Good"

The one worded question, depending on when he asked it, meant a number of things all at once. Right now, It meant are you finished? Is everything ok? Are you ok? Are you ready to go? Are you done here?

And her simple reply meant a great number of things to him. But ultimately it meant, everything is as good as it can be.

She was quiet until they were on the move again and once she got going again she kept the mindless chatter up until they arrived back at the house that they'd been occupying.

She asked him about the gray clouds over their heads, wondering if it was going to rain. She asked if he had seen the Looney tunes cartoons and then asked if he liked them, then she wanted to know which one in particular, then which specific character. She wanted to know if he had continued watching them as he'd gotten older. Then she wanted to know if many adults watched cartoons on a Saturday morning.

And he happily went along with it, answering every single thing she thought to ask, right up until they made their way back inside the small rundown house.

The house still had the stench of tobacco drenched in the curtains, there were holes in the walls and cracks in the tiles that covered the kitchen floor. It wasn't until hours after they had settled into the house, that he had realized that Sophia hadn't mentioned the state of house.  
He wasn't sure if it was Sophia, or all children, but she seemed to find a hundred questions to ask him every day. Sometimes he wondered how she managed to come up with them.  
But even though Sophia questioned everything around them, she hadn't needed to question the condition of the house.

"You wanna clean Bugs Bunny? Or start the fire?" she asked as they settled into the space of the kitchen.

He smiled at the sight of her, holding the carcass up by its ears with the questioning look on her face.

He knew she wanted to take care of the rabbit. She was good at it, and Sophia loved being good things. She liked being praised for her skills and he was more then happy to do that.

Ultimately, his days could be completely pointless, they could wander aimlessly for hours, find nothing, have nothing. But at the very least, he would spend a bit of his time convincing Sophia that she was far from useless.

"I'll get the fire. You take care of that. Ya better at it then I am."

Sophia beamed at the compliment and nodded. "You hear that bugs? You're with me." she chimed as she slapped the rabbit on the kitchen table.

"Soph. Stop talkin to that dead rabbit… don't name it either." he said with a grin, causing Sophia to smile back at him.

"I'm only kidding." she said with a bit of a laugh lingering in her words.

"Not a good habit. Shouldn't name nothin ya ain't planning on keepin'"

"Why? What harm does it do?" she asked.

He wasn't really worried about her naming the dead rabbit and Sophia knew that he wasn't truly concerned, she was simply asking because it was something to talk about.

Even though the information wasn't really relevant to the situation, he decided to impart the small bit of knowledge onto her.

Because that's what he did all day. He taught her everything he had been taught about survival, but he did it in the way that he wished someone had taught him.

"Messes with ya head. We gotta hunt and kill. That's the way it is. So ya can't do anything that's gonna let you get attached. You wont even mean to do it, ya brain will do the work for ya."

"You make that mistake? That why you believe it so hard?" Sophia questioned casually, as she started snapping the bones of the rabbit.

"No. Merle would'a smacked me upside the head. But my cousin, Hayes. He did once. Named a raccoon Fred, just cause it ate out of his hand"

Sophia released the ceremonial _'Awww'_ over the image that she had created in her own head. Making a sound that he'd heard women make when they saw something they decided was cute. Though she didn't seem very committed to the sound.

"So? What happened?"

"To who? The raccoon or Hayes?" He questioned as he continued building up the fireplace.

Sophia shrugged as she pulled her knife out. "Both, I guess."

"Like I said. Merle smacked him upside the head. Told him raccoon's weren't pets, they was dinner. Said we don't name nothin' we ain't aimin' to keep and we don't keep nothin', cause we got nothin' to offer. If we did we wouldn't have been out there to begin with."

He could see Sophia consider what he'd said and the acceptance that quickly followed. He knew she wasn't to invested in the conversation, she just wanted to talk, and he was happy to fill the time with mindless chatter if that's what she wanted.

"You have a lot of cousins?"

He shook his head. "Just the one"

"You get along with him? Or did his attachment to raccoon's get in the way"

He couldn't help but laugh at her. Her smart ass question, her tone and the fact that she was ripping the skin of the rabbit as she spoke, had created a pretty amusing scene.

He turned back to the fire and started to light it up."No. We got along. Got along real well"

"Do you know where he is? What happened to him?"

He stuttered out a sound, before he quickly stopped himself from continuing.

He tried to compose himself before he spoke. He wanted to find a way to answer her, without completely crushing the good mood that she had somehow found herself in.

Much like her mother, Sophia was a very empathetic person and he knew that it was a trait that would only intensify as she grew. Once she was old enough to wrap her head around certain things and once she had a better understanding of people, he knew Sophia would be exactly like Carol in that respect. Maybe even more so.

And maybe that was why she had been so down lately.

He knew she had every reason to be upset. They were not in a great situation, so it made sense that Sophia would be devastated. But that hadn't been what bothered him about her mood. It was the self deprivation that she voiced to him and to herself, that was bothering him the most. He had seen her more then once, muttering to herself "_Stupid. So stupid_".

The things Sophia did, may not have always been perfect, she made mistakes and got confused. But he would expect that from anyone.

He always took the time to stop her when she started up, he tried to correct her way of thinking, hoping if he pointed out that he thought she was doing well, then maybe she would eventually stop ridiculing everything she did that wasn't completely perfect. He guessed she could have some better days then she'd been having if she wasn't so damn hard on herself.

But for as down as she had been lately, Sophia had woken up today, looked around, and decided that she was pretty damn happy to be alive. He had no idea how long it would last, but he didn't want to be the reason why it was taken away.

"He passed away when he was pretty young. Long time ago. Long, long time ago"

He didn't know why, but he thought if he emphasized the time that had passed, it would be less depressing.

He just hoped that she didn't press for anymore details. In the end, he knew that talking about it would leave them both in a bad mood.

Sophia stopped what she was doing and lifted her eyes from the bloody mess in front of her "I'm sorry, Daryl"

He quickly shook his head at her concern and consciously softened his face. "Don't be. Like I said, it was a long time ago."

He tried to think of a way to move on from the depressing subject and apparently she was doing the same thing.

"I didn't have any cousins. But I think I would have liked to have them." Sophia said focusing one what she was doing and speaking almost absently. "My Ma, though? she had cousins and an Aunt Margret."

He nodded, watching the flames grow in the open fireplace. "You like em? They nice?"

"I didn't really know them."

He didn't think to much of her answer, so he didn't think twice about questioning her further."They live far away or somethin'?"

"Ed didn't like them. He wouldn't let Ma talk to them. He said they were nosy. Trouble makers"

He instantly stopped what he was doing and looked over at Sophia.

Two things quickly occurred to him.

The first, was that Sophia had referred to Ed by his name. Not as her _'father'_, which was what she usually called him….it was just plain old Ed. He couldn't remember her having done that before.

The second thing he noticed was that the kid didn't look to worried by her own words. But for him, it felt like a kick in the guts.

He didn't like hearing about Carol being isolated from her family. He had always known she had endured such things, because it went with the territory. But knowing that, didn't make it any easier to hear.

It also didn't help that Sophia didn't really seem to bothered by what she had just said. He guessed that for Sophia, it was as simple as stating a fact. But she was maybe to young to understand the weight of it.

* * *

"Daryl?"

His eyes snapped open when he felt the light shove and heard his name. As always, his heart started pounding and a jolt ran through his body. He always woke up ready to kill someone, as if he had been preparing for it even while he was asleep, because there was never a minute that passed when he was completely aware that he had left a child on watch.

When his eyes found hers, when he could see there was no reason to panic. But even though he was relieved that everything was fine, he still couldn't help but groan at the idea of starting yet another day. Sophia though, was bright eyed and had already changed into one of the other two outfits that he'd crammed into their bag. He knew he needed to find her more clothes, the teal jacket she was wearing had stained blood on it and the beige pants she was wearing were not only dirty, and not only ripped over her knees, but were suddenly riding up the kids ankles. He studied them for longer then was needed, because he was sure they'd fit her just fine a few months ago.

"Time to get up" Sophia urged, giving him another light shove.

He nodded and rubbed at his face. Ignoring her as she crawled over his knees to take a spot on the bed. He hadn't even fully woken up yet, but as far as the kid was concerned, she'd been relieved of her duties the very moment that his eyes had opened.

Once she was clear of him, she crossed her legs and leaned the black, hardcover book on to her knees, ducking her head and getting her face as close to the page as she could. It was clear, that she had been counting down the minutes for him to wake up, so that she could get back to whatever it was that she was doing in that book.

Sophia had two possessions that were of great importance to her and he was proud that he had supplied her with both of them.

The first was her doll. The one he had taken from that girls room, months ago.

He had tossed it to her quietly and told her that he thought she should keep it.

She had acted as though she wasn't interested. She had pretended that she was to old for such a childish thing. And he hadn't believed any of it.

He had promised there was nothing wrong with her hanging on to a doll. She was a kid. A little girl at that, and he believed that as a little girl she deserved to have a doll for company or comfort…whatever it was that girls wanted dolls for to begin with.

The second thing he had given her, he'd handed over without any consideration.

Week's ago, they'd been hauled up in a house waiting out the rain and he was faced with, what was now, an overly energetic child.

Sophia was used to walking for at least ten hours a day, so when she was forced to be stuck inside with nothing to do, she was near bouncing off the walls with boredom.  
He had tossed her a book and some pens and pencils, hoping she could entertain herself with it for a few minutes. What he didn't expect was that he would have to pull the thing from her hands at the end of the night, because she refused to go to sleep. He realized that she had been saying _"One more minute, I'm almost done" _for almost two hours, and there was a good chance that she would continue saying that until the sun rose.

He didn't know what she was doing in the black hard covered book and she clearly didn't want him to know. He figured it was something of a diary. And even though he had no intention of invading her privacy, he had to admit he was curious.

He got up and yawned loudly, letting it turn into a growl, that he hoped would help wake him up.

"You good?" he mumbled as he headed towards the door. Rather then looking up from her book she shooed him away with the flick of her hand, then went back to what she was doing.

He pulled the crossbow over his shoulder as he made his way outside to relieve himself. His head was swimming with the same things that it often filled with when he woke up. The reoccurring thought that _he missed coffee_. _That he needed to find coffee_. He also knew that once he got moving and fully woke up, that these thoughts would pass, but it didn't stop him from wishing for it every morning.

It wasn't until he started walking back inside that he heard it.

He wondered how long the man had been there, attempting to sneak up on him.

He pretended he didn't hear the quickly approaching sounds of feet on the ground. Crunching leaves, shuffled stones and breaking twigs. The sounds of someone who didn't know how to move quietly or simply didn't feel the need to bother trying. He was either confident or stupid.

He could tell by the sounds that they he wasn't to close. But he wasn't to far off either.

He moved as quickly as he could, without giving anything away and got himself inside. He barely made it through the door when then pulled his crossbow from his shoulder and turned around, aiming at the wide eyed man who already had his gun aimed.

He looked confident, but that didn't mean he wasn't also stupid.

He wasn't to big, not really. No bigger then he was, no more of a threat then he was. Even the gun he was holding was nothing special. But still the man looked as though he had an army behind him.

Only he didn't.

"Why don't you just go on now?" he growled, keeping his eyes locked on the mans face, waiting for some twitch or sign that he was going to pull the trigger.

The man smiled and shook his head slowly. "You out here all alone?"

He clenched his jaw and took a steady breath through his nose, preparing himself. "Believe me, I got nothin' for ya. Just walk away"

"Oh I believe that." the man offered with a smirk, as he traced his eyes over Daryl from head to toe.

He knew what the man was looking at. It was the same thing that he himself was noticing.

"Me and some other fellas, we got us-"

The hurried footsteps coming from upstairs, caused the man to suddenly freeze and turn his head towards the front door of the house.

"Are we still gonna stay here another night? Cause I don't-"

He flicked his eyes quickly to the kid to see where she was, then quickly looked back to the strangers face, just in time to see the look in the mans eyes, just in time to see the curl of his lip.

He didn't hesitate. He didn't wait for the voice in his head to question or taunt him. He just took the shot that he had been ready to take.

There was a second where he ignored Sophia's gasp. He ignored her when she frantically cried out and asked him what happened, asked him why he had killed the man who had done nothing to them.

He ignored her because he was waiting.

After he killed Jim back at the quarry, or more accurately, after he put down the walker that had been Jim, he'd felt like something in his head had snapped. He had flown into a somewhat catatonic state, where he couldn't comprehend what he had just done or understand how to process so many conflicting feelings at once. But that wasn't happening right now.

He knew exactly what he had done and he knew with complete certainty that he would do it again.

"Get upstairs and get our shit. We gotta get outta here." He demanded as he walked over to the body to retrieve his bolt.

Sophia laughed loudly, but there was no trace of humor in the sound. If anything the kid sounded mortified. "Why? You killed him. What do you think he's gonna do? Far as I can tell, you took away his chance at ever doing anything ever again. Besides-"

"Sophia!" he snapped causing the kid to jump. He didn't mean to scare her, but he needed her attention, he needed to grab her from the hysterical state that she was in right now.

"Look at him." he growled, trying to keep his tone calm, but failing.

Sophia's eyes rolled towards the body and examined it for a few seconds, before she looked back at him with a hard, but clearly confused gaze.

"Look his clothes and then look at mine. Look at how much he's carrying. Look at how clean he is."

The crease in Sophia's brow suddenly disappeared and her eyes went wide, before she instantly scanned the area around them.

Once Sophia understood what he was thinking, the confusion and distress she had been wearing, quickly morphed into panic, matching his own."What if someone comes looking for him?"

"I'll take care of it. Just go and get our shit." he promised pointing to the house and urging her to hurry.

He kept looking around as he began pulling the body into the house, moving as quickly as he could.

He could hear Sophia upstairs, stomping around and he knew she was going as fast as she could.

He went through the mans things, he took the gun and ammo, along with the knife. But he wasn't carrying much else in the small pack. He had half a bottle of water and half a pack of smokes. No food, no change of clothes, nothing to hunt with and nothing to cook with. That lack of supplies made him more nervous then he wanted to admit. It made him shove the body into the closet a little faster then was probably necessary.

* * *

The man had come from the south and was heading north, so they ran east. It was a guess and nothing more. Whatever group the man had been with, wasn't far off, and all they could do was hope that they were running away from them, rather then toward them.

Usually they took their time when they were traveling. They always reminded each other, that this was a marathon, not a race. But today, he had pulled her along until she couldn't walk any further and then he had carried her until his back ached and his feet went numb.

The house they had stumbled towards in the dead of night was burnout and in no condition for them stay in. But the garage that was across the lot was untouched and would have to do.

He pulled the garage door open and lit a small fire just outside of it. He would keep it going for a few more hours, then he would put it out and bury it in dirt, so that he could be sure it wouldn't still be smoking in the morning. So he could be sure that no one would see the smoke in the sky.

She hadn't said a word to him all day. Not really. She had said things like "How much further?" "Can I have some water", but that had been it. Now that she was settled and ready for bed, he could see she was ready to talk. And so was he. He wasn't going to let this be another thing that hung heavily in the air around them.

"Killing people is wrong."

She spoke softly and carefully. She said the words as though she was repeating something that had been echoing in her head all day. Something she was sure was true. She was as sure of it as she was her own name, or the color of the sky.

"Dyin' is worse. What could have happened to you? That would have been worse." he promised her, with just as much certainty in his tone.

As confused and upset as was right now, he knew it was nothing compared to how she would have handled it a few months ago. She was different through and through. This was just more proof.

"So your just gonna kill anyone you want? Cause of what they _might_ do" she snapped, shaking her head as she spoke.

He stayed calm. He kept his eyes on hers and let her finish what she was saying. And when she stopped talking, he gave her a few more seconds to make sure she was actually done.  
"I'll do what I have to do. You're going back to your Ma. I'm gonna do what I have to do to get you there."

A flare of anger appeared in her eyes and her nose scrunched at the mention of her mother. He almost wished he could take back what he'd just said, even though he didn't understand what had caused the reaction.

"And what do you think she's gonna say when she finds out what we done?" she asked coldly through her teeth. that were tightly clamped together.

He was ready to reply. He was ready to argue this point until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. He didn't care how long it took. He was going to make her understand why he did what he did, because she needed to be aware that it was going to happen every time he felt like they were in danger. But all the arguments he had lined up in his head were put on pause by one simple word.

"_We_? Sophia that wasn't your fault today. I made that choice and-"

Suddenly, without any real reason, the anger in her was was gone and Sophia looked nervous. Scared, even. She hadn't looked at him like that even after he had killed the man today. He had seen a lot of emotions in her expression after he pulled the trigger, but she hadn't looked like she did right now.

He could see her face suddenly turn red and her eyes filling with tears, that would escape as soon as she let herself blink. "What is it?"

She released three sharp shallow breaths, quickly and roughly. Trying to hold back what ever was begging to be released from inside of her chest. "I killed her. I killed Daphne"

The shallow breaths continued and she let the tears fall, and he sat there staring at her, trying to make sense of what she had just said. "What?"

As he let her words run through his head again, he shook his head at her, wondering if the kid had lost her mind sometime today and maybe he had missed it. "Walkers killed her, Soph"

It was then that the sobbing began. She wasn't crying in the way he had seen her before. Her eyes weren't filled with sadness or hurt. She just looked nervous and panicked. In many ways it was harder for him to look at.

"They got in the kitchen through the-…the screen door was left open and they got in. And I-…I froze up again." The words tumbled out of her mouth between the sobbing and shallow breaths and he couldn't bring himself to move an inch as she spoke.

"When they got a hold of me I screamed. Daphne was trying to help me, but she didn't have anything to stop them. There was nothing she could do, so I-.." She paused taking back more hard breaths, pushing herself to continue, even though she didn't to. He knew what she was going to say. But he let her go anyway. She needed to get it out, she had let this fester for far to long.

"I grabbed her. I pushed her toward them, so I could get away. I killed her"

"Walkers killed her. Not you" There were a number of things he had told Sophia, that he hadn't really been able to explain and she had followed him blindly. She trusted him to know what was best. He wished that right now was one of those times where she could simply take his word for it.

"That's bullshit and you know it." Sophia said, slowly staring to calm down. Maybe it had been his reaction that had worried her, maybe that was why she had broken down. Maybe she had expected something from him. Something he had no intention of delivering. Whatever the reason, he could see her whole form relaxing in front of him.

"The arrow that went through that mans head today, ended his life. But it didn't kill him." Sophia explained with her tied eyes and tear stained cheeks in full view. "You did that. You pulled the trigger. Just like I pushed Daphne"

He needed to figure out a way to lift this guilt of her shoulders, but he couldn't think of a way right now. Right now, he couldn't argue with her logic. But he still didn't agree with it. She was a kid. Anything that happened, weather she had a hand in it or not, wasn't ever going to be her fault. He should have taken better care of her and she shouldn't be out here to begin with.

"I don't care what you have to do to survive. As long as you do it" he said flatly, watching as her eyes focus on his, squinting at them slightly, as though there was something written in them she was trying to read.

"She helped us" she whispered.

He nodded in agreement. "I had her with us, to help keep you alive. That's why she was with us."

Sophia digested his words for a few seconds, before she shook her head slightly."But she-"

"I don't care." he said coldly, before she could continue. "If I had to kill her myself, I would have done it. I could live with her blood on my hands."

"Doesn't feel right." She added, letting her eyes drop. Now he could see it, the sadness, it was a particular type. Not like she had minutes before. This expression had nothing to do with Daphne or the man he had killed today. He knew in his gut why she looked at him like this. It was because she knew that this was their new normal, and she didn't want it to be.

"That's what I need from you Soph. You need to swear to me, that you'll always do what you gotta do. Even if it's messy. Even if it's hard and it makes you feel fuckin horrible."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36: November**

He heard her hiss behind him, instantly causing him to spin away from the window to see what the sound was caused by.

"Ya good?" he asked before he'd even settled his eyes on her.

Her teeth were clenched together and she looked up at him with an apologetically pained expression. Though he had no idea why.

He creased his brow at her expression and felt the familiar rumble of panic beginning to rise from his gut to his chest, while he wondered what had brought on the pained look that her face held.

Until he looked down at kids shaky hands.

"Jesus Soph" he spat as his eyes narrowed in on her feet. She had her knee bent, resting one of her feet on her thigh while she'd peeled the shoe and sock away from her shredded foot.

Sophia shook her head quickly at him, doing her best to wipe away any discomfort from her face. "I'm fine. It's fine" she promised as he knelt down in front of her and took her small foot in his hands to examine it.

"Ya not fine, ya feet are a fuckin mess." he said, cringing as he started to carefully turn her foot in his hand to examine the damage.

"Don't know if ya noticed, but ya feet are pretty fucking important. If its one thing I can assure ya, it's that we'll always be walkin" he said, as he tried to reign in the range of emotions he was feeling. Frustration, concern….annoyance. None of it would do any good, so he bit it all back.

"I can walk. I can" she added quickly, trying not to squirm as he began the to ply the other shoe off.

He squinted at the blisters and dried blood on her feet, gently turning her foot in his hand to examine the damage. "Why didn't ya tell me?"

He settled his eyes on her face and watched her face scrunch slightly as she considered the simple question.

Until she finally shrugged. "I don't know. The shoes..they were always kinda tight and now.."

He nodded and dropped his eyes back to her feet to continue on with his assessment. "Now they just plain don't fit ya" He said, shaking his head to himself as the realization hit him. "Ya havn' a growth spurt, have been for a good bit now"

It was enough to explain why the shoes didn't fit and why her pant legs had been rising up her ankle. But it didn't explain why she had been walking around in pain for god only knows how long.

"You think I'm taller?" Sophia asked, momentarily distracted from her discomfort.

"Hell yeah ya taller."

She raised her brow and shrugged slightly, "I didn't notice"

He knew this shit was important to kids. They wanted to get bigger. They wanted to progress beyond what they were, as if being an adult would give them something they lacked. He briefly thought about telling her the truth, but instead he decided to indulge the kid. What else did she really have going for her. Judging by the state of her feet, he knew that discovering the height she had gained would probably be the high point of her day.

"Gonna be taller then me if ya keep going like this" he pointed out, noticing her smile at the thought before she looked back down to her feet and chewed at her lower lip, surveying the damage with him.

He had no doubt that she could walk, it would be uncomfortable and most likely a little bit painful, but she could walk. The problem was, what would they would be like in a few more days if she kept walking around in the foot chewing shoes. If she kept going like this then it wouldn't matter if he got her shoes that fit, because she would have fucked up her feet enough that any pressure on them would be damn near unbearable.

"Few days walk to the next town. We'll check it out, find ya somethin"

Sophia shook her head. "No towns. You said-"

"I know what I said. But ya need shoes Soph. Ain't a luxury, that shits a necessity. Hopefully we can find ya some there, until then I'll carry ya." he said as sternly as he could, knowing an objection would would quickly be followed by his plan.

She shook her head furiously and he understood why. "No. I can walk."

"No way. We cant have em getting worse"

"I'll slow you down and it's to dangerous. I mean-…You're talking about carrying me into a town…With Walkers? That's just damn stupid and-"

"We'll figure something out." He said firmly, cutting her off. "It's a few days away, like I said. Until then ya ain't walkin' and it ain't up for discussion"

He wasn't surprised when he got up and began to leave the room, that he felt something hit him. He looked down at the doll that she had thrown and was greatful that something heavier hadn't been in her reach.

He rolled his eyes and reached down to pick the thing up, dusting it off against his leg.

He knew she'd done it without thinking and he was also sure that she had regretted it before the doll had even hit the ground. Not because she was sorry she had thrown something at him, but because she had thrown the doll. It was precious to her, she slept with it every night and sometimes when she was bored he caught her sitting with it, fidgeting with it absently. For the most part, the doll and her book, seemed to have taken the place of her fingers mindlessly plucking at the knees of her pants. Finding clothes that fit Sophia had proved difficult and he had no idea how to sew, so he had just as much respect for the book and doll as Sophia did.

Rather then throw it back to her, he walked back and passed it to her.

He ignored how she snatched it from him and turned her eyes to the wall so she didn't have to look at him. As time passed, her moods, though irritating, were easier to tolerate.

He sighed and shook his head, as he turned to leave her alone. Hoping some space from him would help her calm down. "Im'a make us some dinner. I want you to stay up her, ok. Rest those feet."

* * *

He knew that, months ago when he had carried Sophia for what ever reason, he hadn't felt this weighed down.

He didn't dare complain. He knew she didn't need to hear it and it wasn't going to help either one of them. But the fact was, she was heavier then he remembered. Or maybe it was because his bag was holding more then it once had. Or maybe, and more likely, it was that he was getting weaker out here. They were to exposed to the elements, they spent to much time on their feet, they didn't sleep or eat enough. They were slowly, but surely, falling apart out here.

"It was a frog" Sophia added to the ramblings she was caught in.

"I don't think I saw that one" he told her as he carried her on his back through the woods.

Sophia didn't do well when she had to much energy. She was in a better head space when she had been worn out, or when she had something to occupy her time. But right now he could hear a tremor in her voice, rattling her words around as they left was clear that she was anxious.

She knew just as well as he did, that she was making things a little less safer then they both would have liked. He couldn't keep a good eye on their surroundings and that could cause a number of problems for them. Knowing that, made her just as uncomfortable as it made him.

So he did his best to distract her, by engaging in long and pointless topics of conversations.

"Everyone's seen that one" Sophia pointed out.

She was right too. Everyone had seen that one.

"Nope. Don't think I did. Tell me about it. Maybe I just need remindin'"

He ignored the way she fidgeted with a lock of his hair, absently twirling it around her fingers as she spoke. He didn't tell her it was annoying him, that it was tickling his neck and he would rather she wasn't poking around at his head while he walked. But he didn't say anything.

"This man, he finds a frog that can sing, so he thinks he's going to be rich and famous-"Sophia continued on, recounting the plot of the cartoon, that he knew was called _'One Froggy Evening'. _

He hummed and grunted in response as she talked, urging her to continue. And he was surprised when she was able to make him laugh at her recount of something that he knew so well. The voices she created and her description of the events, had been dramatized just enough to be amusing.

"After we go to that town…where are we going?"

He shrugged slightly as he tuned back just enough to check the area behind them.

"We can get the map out tonight and you can pick, if you want." he offered as he turned back to the tracks ahead of them.

He tried, to stay as positive as he could. He tried in every way possible, to turn this into something of a game. Sophia often picked the direction they would go in and the he would praise her choice. Then upon their arrival Sophia would mark off the the towns they had passed through, the roads they had taken, the spot where they had settled, hoping that eventually they would narrow down the spot where their group was settled.

Hoping to find Carol.

* * *

Sophia snored lightly with her arms hanging loosely over his shoulders, while he looked around for a spot to camp out. When she had started to doze off, he had stopped for a moment, to move everything around, until he had their bag on his back, and Sophia held tightly to his chest.

He guessed that it would be a few more miles before they reached another house and he was debating on what he should do. He didn't like walking in the dark, but he knew that's what may happen if they decided to keep going until they found shelter. He also didn't like sleeping outside with the kid. They had done it many times before and he was sure they would do it a hundred more times if they had to. He just didn't like it. They were to exposed and it was to cold now do it comfortably. But as they walked on and he could see the sun lowering in the sky, he knew they might not have any other choice.

He veered of the train tracks they had been following and wondered into the woods, he'd picked this spot because of how overgrown everything was. It was more likely they would be able to find something to eat.

As it got colder, game got harder to find and he knew that very soon he needed to explain to Sophia, that they would need to stop. He had her rugged up in every scrap of clothing she owned but soon that wouldn't be enough, soon he wouldn't be able to safely bring her out here to walk for hours in the cold.

He had some ideas of where he might like to stop. When Sophia was asleep at nights he would sometimes inspect the map and consider different places to take her. Places he could get her too easily enough.

His train of thought was interrupted when the sound of voices started to fill the space around him.

Instantly he stopped and looked around. The tension in his body grew more and more as he searched the area, trying to spot the approaching group of people. He hopped that because he couldn't see anyone, then no one could see him. But he also knew there was really no way to be sure of that. He was also sure that he could hear voices coming from more then one direction, leaving him with very little idea of which way he should run.

He tightened his grip on Sophia and considered the questions she had asked him weeks before, after he had killed the man, the last living soul they had seen.

She wanted to know how he knew the man was a threat.

She wanted to know if there was any way that Daryl could have misinterpreted the expression on the strangers face, or possibly the feeling in his own gut. He had sworn to her that he was sure that he had done the right thing. He'd told her that he had no doubt that the man was dangerous, but quietly he did question himself. In the confines of his own mind he wondered if his paranoia had won over his reason? Was he acting out of intuition, or was it fear driving him? He couldn't really be sure.

Even right now, his gut was telling him to run. Kill everyone who crossed their path. But that voice in his head, questioned him. Was he running from safety? Was he running from help? Hell, was he running from the people that he was out here searching for?

He looked ahead of them and worked out a route in his head, a path that would move them from one spot to another, keeping them covered enough so that he could have a quick look at the group.

If they looked harmless, then he would watch them for awhile, maybe even a few days, so that he could see that it was safe to approach. And If they were dangerous then he could simply leave the way he had come and move away without them knowing.

As he moved forward from one spot to another, hearing the voices growing nearer, he made plans to wake Sophia. He was going to find somewhere safe to put her down while he got a closer look, but before he could even start his search for a safe place to leave her, he was faced with the group he had been looking for.

Through the cover of the trees and bushes he was hiding behind, he could catch glimpses of them in the distance. He guessed that there was maybe ten or fifteen men. He froze watching them milling around their newly found camp space, setting up their tents and starting fires. He could hear them laughing, talking loudly without a care in the world, drowning out the sound of what he was sure was crying, coming from inside of one of the tents.

The pain that suddenly twisted in his stomach was stronger then anything he had felt in a long time. It was a women, that much he knew. The fear and panic that shook through his body was more then enough, he thought, to wake Sophia, but still she slept peacefully in his arms. She had no idea what was happening around them. He considered waking her, but then he thought about what her reaction would be, what it would do to her when they had to leave. Maybe if he'd been alone out here he could have taken the chance. If it was just him.

He let go of of shaky breath and stepped back carefully, wanting to keep his eyes on them for as long as he could, to assure they didn't spot him, to assure they never got anywhere near the kid.

"Hey"

He jumped back when he heard the whisper coming from his right. He froze starring at the boy. He was ready to drop Sophia, pull his crossbow from his shoulder and kill him. But when he saw the look on his face, he found himself just as stuck as boy obviously was.

The kid was no more then nineteen years old, wide eyed and clearly in a panic as he took in the sight of Sophia still sleeping soundly in his arms.

Quickly the boys jaw clenched, his eyes looked from Sophia to the direction of his group, before darting back, narrowed and hard on his.

"Run. Now."

* * *

The next morning he wondered around the yard, looking for signs of the group he had run from. He had refused the break that Sophia had offered him, because he couldn't imagine closing his eyes now.

It didn't matter how far from them he got, he was sure he could still hear them in the distance. But as he walked around in circles, he drew the attention of the walkers close by. At first he hadn't minded. He wanted something to kill. He wanted to unleash this feeling that was rotting inside of him, but when he saw the small form emerge from the woods, that feeling disappeared and was replaced with something far worse.

The sight made him want to heave and he still wasn't completely sure that he wasn't going to.

The thing with kids, was that they were small, they weren't prepared and that meant when they got close to walkers they usually got mauled to the bone. But apparently that wasn't always the case. The boy that wondered towards him was probably the same as Sophia, give or take a year, and from what he could tell the boy had been bitten, that was what had killed him.

He wore a backpack that was strapped around his chest, a mess of brown hair, freckled cheeks and dried blood covering his arm where he had been bitten. But their were no other signs of blood on the boy. He guessed the boy hadn't even been dead to long and wondered where the kids mother was. He wondered if Carol was somewhere thinking that Sophia had met a similar fate.

He hated the thoughts that followed, he hated the way his mind seemed to work these days. He felt like a stranger to himself a lot of the time. Strategy overruled emotion, survival was all that mattered. He had lived like this before, this what was how he had kept himself alive as a boy. But he never knew what he was really capable of until he had to care for Sophia.

He knew now that he'd kill. He knew he'd leave people to die. He knew he'd see blood covering the ground and the only thing he'd feel was relief that it wasn't Sophia that had died. He never guessed that beyond that relief, he would feel nothing.

He looked over his shoulder towards the rundown farm house and stared at it for a few minutes. He didn't want to do this. It wasn't right. But right now he didn't know that he had much of a choice.  
He looked back towards the small group of walkers and hung his head as he approached them. He quietly cursed himself and took down the two older walkers, taking just a little bit more care when he took down the young boy.

* * *

"Where were ya?" Sophia asked with her eyes locked on the paper.

"Just went outside for a bit, I heard some walkers"

Sophia nodded and continued on with whatever she was doing in her book. She always looked slightly relaxed when she had her head stuck in it, like she disappeared into it briefly and forgot about everything around them. He didn't know what she was always doing in the thing. She could have been plotting his death or planning world domination for all he knew. But whatever it was, he knew it gave her some kind of escape, so he was grateful that she had it.

He hadn't told her what had happened the day before while she was sleeping in his arms. He'd lied to her. He told her that he'd stumbled onto a small heard and that was why he had started running. He told her he wanted to walk though the night because he wanted to make sure that he put as much space between them as he could. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth of what he'd seen and heard. He didn't want to admit that he had heard a women who needed help and he had ran in the other direction.

"You could have come got me if you were having trouble" Sophia muttered as she angled her he head slightly and adjusted her arm to suit whatever she was doing on the page.

"Huh?"

She glanced in his direction again, scanning him from head to tow quickly before looking back to what she was doing."You're covered in dirt. If there was to many of them? if you needed help, you should have come and got me"

"Nah, it was fine. Just three of em. I uh-…" he stopped himself for a second, trying to shake the memory. He was almost sure that she could tell that something bad had happened, just by looking at him. But once again he lied.

"I just tripped over is all."

He'd buried the boy, it was the least he could do and he had dug the hole with a shovel he found by the barn and the task left him covered in dirt. And as much as he hated to think about, he would want the same thing done for Sophia. He wouldn't want her discarded like she was nothing, not like the way he treated the rest of the walkers.

It was easier to let yourself believe that the Walkers were never people, you needed to disconnect from that so you could keep a clear head and avoid joining them.

But it was just harder to do when they were kids.

"I found some stuff downstairs" he muttered.

"What?" she asked as she closed her book and looked up at him.

He tossed the small backpack onto the mattress and took a step back, leaning into the door frame.

Her eyes lit up when she pulled out the sneakers and black hoodie. He had put the shoes in there himself, after he cleaned them off and aired them out a bit, but the hoodie and a few other small random items were all the boy had been carrying in the bag. It was nothing that was going to save their lives, but it might assure that they get a bit further, a bit easier.

He liked to think that the boy wouldn't have minded.

* * *

She knew she made people uncomfortable, she knew that her silence was unnerving, but she just didn't have anything to say. So when heard the approaching footsteps coming down the hallway, she ignored them.

She didn't need to worry about anyone invading her space. Everyone seemed to accept that when she was in her cell, it was a clear indication that she wanted to be alone.

It let everyone know that she was done tending to their needs and that she was tired of Ed's watchful eye.

Sometimes she wondered what Ed was plotting. She wondered what possible plan he could have, or why he even bothered to concoct them. But most of the time she found it hard to care. With what little time they all had on this earth, she didn't see the point in wasting another minute on Ed.

T-dog was dead. Lori was dead. In truth she knew she should have died in those tombs right along with them. And perhaps if Rick hadn't have been wondering the halls on a killing spree, then she would be gone. And she couldn't lie to herself and pretend that a part of her didn't mind the idea of leaving this world behind. Because then it would be over. The waiting and wanting. It would be done. She'd would have been free.

But it didn't work out like that. Rick had pulled her out of that cell and brought her back to the land of the living. He brought her back so that she could continue on with her waiting game. Counting down the days and wondering when it would happen. Wondering when she would loose that last connection to them, that she had growing inside of her.

It was impossible to stop herself from comparing this pregnancy to the last, no matter how often Hershel had told her to stop doing it. It was a simple request from the old man, considering no pregnancy was ever the same as another. Especially considering she knew that much herself.

Maybe he wouldn't have had to make that request if she hadn't completely lost her mind. But she often felt as though that was exactly what had happened.

When she had been pregnant with Sophia, she'd had brief bouts of morning sickness but that had been it. As far as her body went though? There was almost no proof that a baby was forming inside of her, not until Sophia was almost ready to greet the world. Sophia grew quietly in her body and she was just as quiet when she finally decided to grace everyone with her presence.

Not this baby though.

This baby wanted everyone to know of it's existence, even before it was born. She felt huge. She felt as though he was trying to escape from her, as though he knew his mother was incapable of protecting him. And though she knew it was crazy to think it, she wondered if he knew on some level that she had lost his family. She had doomed him to a short existence because there was no way that she would be able to protect him from such a cruel world. She wondered if that was why she felt most days like she could puke until she turned herself inside out.

These were the thoughts that flew though her head all day and night. These were the thoughts that plagued her right now, while she sat at the end of her bunk and cried hopelessly into her palms.

She had convinced herself that she was loosing it. But when the voices spoke over her sobbing, causing her to freeze in place, she had to wonder just how far gone her mind really was.

"I always told that boy to wear a rubber, now look at what he's gone and done"

The first thought that she had, was that she was seeing things.

That the ghosts she was looking at were something that her imagination had conjured up. She had missed Andrea, more then she could ever explain to anyone. And she guessed that maybe she had missed Andrea so much that maybe her brain had decided to send her completely over the edge and offer her an hallucination.

But she knew that what she was seeing was real, when she took in the sight of Merle Dixon standing alongside her.

The smirk he was wearing only grew when Andrea snapped out of her shocked state and slapped his arm. The action seemed almost second nature to the women, as though she didn't even need to consider it.

She watched as Andrea bound forward reaching out for her as she made her way into the cell, but she was still frozen at the sight of her friend, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. Returning from the dead.

She barely had time to lift herself to her feet as Andrea approached and pulled her tightly into the warmth and safety of her arms.


End file.
